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Thoughts on Racism

Racism has been a hot topic this year, and has a long history here in America, and around the world. The sad reality is that there continues to be people that think they are superior to other people based on skin color or national origin or economic status. That’s sad because it’s not true. That’s a lie, planted long ago that has devastated generations of people. To be clear, that way of thinking is evil. Someone’s worth is not based on the color of their skin, where they come from, how they look, or how much money they make. Your worth comes from God, who created you uniquely. It’s your character and your heart that really matter.

It’s also sad and wrong to put people into certain categories based on the color of their skin or where they grew up. Not all white people are a certain way and not all black people are a certain way. It’s ignorant to think that all Hispanic people are the same or all Asian people are the same. The truth is there are haters, racists, and evil of all skin colors. There are also good, humble, caring people of all skin colors. Color has nothing to do with the character of the person.

The truth is we all have a spirit, body and mind. We all have life experiences that have shaped us and influenced us. We all have beliefs that drive our behavior, and it has nothing to do with skin color but everything to do with character and who or what you put your faith in. We all have a way of thinking about the world, ourselves and other people. Some of those beliefs may be true but some of those beliefs may be wrong. The world around us and the people around us influence us as we grow up. That can shape our beliefs, practices and behaviors. We can all pick up things that are deceptive, and not good. That’s why it’s so important to be open to learning, growing and changing. When we know the truth it sets us free.

The beauty of Jesus is his love and acceptance of all people. God created each of us, God wants a relationship with all of us, and he made a simple way for that to happen, He sent Jesus. When we have that relationship with Jesus, our perspective changes from seeing people on the outside to seeing people as a soul that will spend forever somewhere, either with God or separated from Him. That way of thinking helps us to love, serve, forgive and persevere. It helps us to see the world, ourselves and other people deeper than skin color or outward appearance.

So even if you are not a believer in Jesus, you can follow his example of seeing a person as a person, and not a color or an object. We are so quick to judge in this country and most of the time we judge wrong. We don’t know all the facts, we don’t know what’s going on in someone’s else’s life, and yet we are quick to condemn, blame, shame or cancel people. So stop judging people and situations based on a social media story or video. Be careful about the words you say or type. Ask yourself, are those words helpful or hurtful, will they make the world a better place or worse?

I would like to challenge anyone who reads this to ask yourself if you are perfect and without flaw. I’d you are, then you can judge others, but if you are imperfect and flawed and have problems and issues then stop judging others, stop shaming others, stop making fun of others, and start loving people, believing the best about them, and look for the positive in people.

Don’t get me wrong when someone does something evil, wrong, hurtful, dangerous or illegal we have a responsibility to report it to the proper authorities. We have a right to put up boundaries and protect ourselves. We need to call out evil, hurtful sand harmful behavior. The truth is we can do that and still be kind and compassionate.

All people, no matter what color, where they came from, or what they look like, matter to God and therefore matter to me. I love people, but I don’t always agree with their beliefs, behavior, actions, words or values. That doesn’t mean they are less than me, just different than me.

If we really want to make the world a better place then it starts with our own character. It starts with all of us working on ourselves to get healthy emotionally, spiritually and relationally. It’s hard to do that on your own, so let your guard down and get help if you are struggling with damaging emotions like anger, jealously, greed, or pride. Having a personal relationship with Jesus is also a huge help, because He helps us to change, grow and become the person God designed us to be.

Racism only grows if you feed it. Hate needs fuel, and the world around us has plenty of fuel for hate. Love comes from God and grows as we understand who God is and who we are. Love grows as hurts are healed, relationships restored and forgiveness given.

I would love for racism and hate to end, but the truth is that this world we live in is not heaven, it’s flawed, broken and dysfunctional. While we live in this world there will continue to be racism and hate and many other evil things. But there is a better way and that is through faith in Jesus and embracing God’s love.

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Lead with Love

We have an opportunity to make some significant changes in this world. The only way that can happen is if we lead with love. To do that each one of us needs to take personal responsibility for our small part of the world.

For me it starts with loving God and growing closer to Him. Then it’s loving other people starting with those closest to me. To love someone you have to take time for them; listen, encourage, pray, serve, forgive.

For people that are in leadership positions leading with love means you develop, serve, equip, encourage and empower those you lead. You care about each one and about helping them be successful. But it can’t stop there.

To make a long lasting change we need to reach outside of our small worlds and into the world around us. We need to look for ways we can love and serve those that are hurting, struggling, or stuck. There are so many great non profit organizations and churches that are doing good meaningful work. Find one and get involved, give your time by volunteering. Give your money to support the work. Give your prayers to help fight the spiritual battle.

It’s so easy to get lost in our own problems and struggles and convince ourselves we can’t make a difference. That is false! Right now you can make a difference, right now you can serve, right now you can give, right now you can pray, right now you can choose to love-even your enemies. Don’t get lost in politics, that is not the answer. Love is the answer and God is perfect love.

Eight Days of Hope and Grace Church are two places I support and serve. Don’t just think about doing something take a step today. Do something that makes you uncomfortable. The world need real people that love God and love people. If you want to talk about how you can make a difference I’d love to have a conversation with you. God bless and Lead On.

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Essential Church

I recently asked a question on Facebook “Do you consider the local church to be essential?” I realize that most of the responses were from people that would call themselves Christians and follow Jesus. The response was positive, but I also sensed a bit of confusion or frustration with the church.

I have been in full time ministry for 18 years. I understand that my perspective may be a bit different than someone that does not work for a church. However, I also was a church attender, volunteer, small group leader while working full time for several years before I went into full time ministry. I also grew frustrated and confused about church and stopped going for a period of time. God nudged me back to His church and completely transformed my life.

I see the value of the church, and have experienced it first hand and walked with hundreds of people that have been transformed through the local church. By local church I am talking about any church that believes in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior and that is involved in a local community, whether small town or big city. A local church is a group of people that gather regularly to worship, pray, encourage each other, care for each other and love & serve other people.

The church is God’s instrument to proclaim and demonstrate the gospel to the world, and to usher in the kingdom of God. Jesus said in Mathew16:18 talking to Peter, “And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it.”

The church belongs to Jesus, He is the head of the church and established the church. His plan was that through the gathering of believers that many lives would be transformed through the good news about what He did for us on the Cross and through His resurrection. Paul tells us in Ephesians 3:10 “His (Jesus’) intent was that now, through the church, the manifold wisdom of God should be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly realms.”

The most essential thing in life is knowing God and believing in Jesus Christ. That is the most essential thing because we are all going to live forever somewhere, either in heaven with God, or separated from God in hell. The church was designed by God to spread the gospel about Jesus and what He did for every person still living.

Of course the church also does other things like care for the hurting, broken and lonely. The church is a place for people to find freedom, find healing, find hope, and then help others do the same. The people in a church are called to share the love of Jesus every day with the world around them. The church was not meant to be a small group to only cares for each other, but that connects with the world, to love and serve others. That is why I love being a part of the local church.

Where I am serving now at Grace Church, we have some God Dreams that I think describe the local church and how it should be functioning. Here are those God Dreams:

  1. We imagine a church where hurting, broken people can find and follow Jesus Christ the Healer.
  2. We imagine a church where every Christ follower is being trained and sent to our neighborhoods, schools, and workplaces to make and multiply disciples of Jesus Christ.
  3. We imagine a church that is building strong marriages, and healthy families in a world where divorce is common and families are fragmented.
  4. We imagine a church where every Christ follower is fully engaged by giving generously, connecting with other believers, and serving others with their spiritual gifts and talents.
  5. We imagine a church with a dream team of leaders at every level of ministry, inspiring, innovating, and taking kingdom risks to advance the churches mission of helping people, know God, Find Freedom, Discover their purpose and make a difference.
  6. We imagine a church where every Christ follower chooses to go on a short-term mission trip in the U.S, or globally to share and show the love of Christ.
  7. We imagine our church tithing 10% of our people to live among the unreached, to share the gospel, and to make disciples.
  8. We imagine our church launching multiple locations in our region as a way of making more disciples, reaching the unchurched, and expanding our gospel impact.
  9. We imagine our church launching multiple safe houses in strategic cities and countries, aimed at restoring hope to vulnerable women and children.
  10. We imagine a time when our Lead Pastor and his wife will be sent out from our church to equip, release, and coach church leaders and church planters domestically and globally.

That’s the kind of church that is essential. I’m so encouraged that there are thousands of churches like that all over the world. So let’s all do our part by being a part of a church like that. Get involved, get connected, find your purpose and make a difference.

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My Top 10 Spiritual Leadership Principles

The year 2020 has been quite unique with the COVID-19 virus, the protests and riots, the political unrest and the economic turmoil. That’s just in the first 7 months.

As I look back over the first part of 2020 there is so much I have learned or that has been reinforced in me. I’ve been in some sort of leadership position since I was in my early 20’s. Over those 30 years I’ve learned a lot about leadership, made a lot of mistakes, and had to unlearn some things as well.

There are some guiding principles that have helped me to lead better, whether at work or at home. This tough year has reenforced these principles for me and I hope they will help you as a leader.

Here are 10 principles that guide my leadership:

  1. Vision is Vital – In times of turmoil, fasted paced change and chaos, a clear compelling vision is so important. It’s during those hard times that vision gives people the right perspective, and helps people to focus on the right things. Communicating the vision on a regular basis is also vital. Great leaders repeat themselves over and over when it comes to vision. Consistent, clear communication of where you are going as an organization or a family will keep your team pulling in the right direction. Most people need a regular reminder for why they are doing what they are doing, and why they are part of the organization.
  2. Be Flexible with your plans but firm on the vision – When things are uncertain and chaotic in the world around you, being able to change plans quickly can be the difference between success and failure. The best leaders are always evaluating their plans and strategies to make sure they still make sense and are working. Listening and asking the right questions can really help in knowing when to be flexible and when to be firm.
  3. Pray for Wisdom – Being in leadership means that you have to make some difficult decisions. It also means that you will be criticized and questioned. Asking God for wisdom is a way to gain clarity, check your motives and gain deeper insight. James 1:5 says “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” Connecting with God is a huge advantage in leadership, making this part of your daily life will make you a better leader.
  4. Learn to be patient and decisive – This one is so hard, especially for high D leaders. Often it is wise to pray and wait, to plan and wait, to think and wait. One of the keys to great leadership is the ability to be patient and yet bold and decisive when the timing is right. That means you have to understand your vision, your people, your culture and the world around you. As a leader you never have all the facts and you can’t wait for a perfect time. Managing the tension between being patient and taking action is a leadership skill that takes time to get good at. Often it takes trial and error, life lessons and lot’s of prayer to get really good at this.
  5. Seek wise counsel – The people you have around you, and the people that you listen to are so critical for any leader. When things are chaotic you need some wise mentors that can speak into the situation and ask the right questions. Great leaders are constantly looking for the best mentors to help them navigate the uncertain waters and avoid making big mistakes. Seeking out counsel can help you avoid unnecessary pain and struggle.
  6. Make time for important relationships – When things are changing around you and your busy and stressed, it’s vital to take time for family, friends and teammates. Don’t neglect the people around you, plan and schedule time with them to stay connected. Fight against isolating yourself as a leader. Those relationships will nourish you emotionally and strengthen you personally and the people around you.
  7. Find a regular rhythm of rest – This is another hard thing to do for hard charging leaders. Resting looks different for everyone, but find those things that recharge you, and disconnect you from the day to day stress of your leadership. Take at least one day a week off and really rest. It makes you sharper, more likeable and may even help you live longer.
  8. Spend time with God Daily – This is one of the most important things you can do no matter what is going on around you. Daily prayer, reading God’s word, devotions, meditating on Scripture are all ways Christian leaders can stay sharp and focused on the right things. Taking care of your soul helps you keep your priorities in the right place, and helps you grow spiritually.
  9. Pay attention to your emotions – It times of chaos and stress emotions can get out of whack. Negative emotions are a warning sign that something is wrong. If you are getting lots of negative emotions it can spiral you downward into depression, anxiety and darkness. In that state of mind it’s very difficult to make good decisions and lead well. If your struggling emotionally, ask for help. Talk to a trusted mentor, go to a Christian counselor or trusted Pastor. Talk about what is contributing to the negative emotions. You can also work on what your putting into your mind like social media and news. Be careful who your listening to, and make sure you are spending time with God.
  10. Lead with Love – This is all about your heart and what is motivating you. Caring about the people you lead and wanting what is best for them builds a great culture. When it comes to leading with love Paul gives us great advice in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonors others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” You may not have thought about that as a leadership verse, but think about the kind of leader you love to follow. Usually it’s because they are doing much of what Paul wrote about in those passages. At work or at home, lead with love.

Those are a few critical principles that have helped me along the way. Keep working on yourself, because the healthier you are as a leader the healthier your organization and the people around you will be. Lead on and Lead well.

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5 Qualities People Want in Their Leader

I’ve been watching what’s been happening in our world over the last several months and it’s been interesting to see how people are leading through a challenging, difficult time. Businesses have been disrupted, shut down or changed in some way. Schools and non-profits have been impacted in similar ways. Our government at all levels has been challenged in unprecedented ways.

There are no perfect leaders, everyone has flaws, weaknesses, and of course we all make mistakes. Leaders have to make difficult decisions, make judgement calls and sometimes take risks in the midst of the uncertainty.

It’s also very easy to pick out qualities we don’t like in the people that are leading us. I’m sure you could list out several right now. You are probably also thinking about some leaders that you don’t like or connect with.

As I thought about qualities that I appreciate most in leaders around me, these are the ones that came to mind. These qualities also work in the home with your spouse and children. Leading at home is just as important as leading at work. As you read these think about how you can apply these in both places.

  1. Speaking the Truth with Love – I appreciate when a leader is upfront and honest and shoots straight with me. I equally appreciate a leader that can shoot straight with me and say it in a kind way. Leaders that are honest whether it’s good news or bad news are highly respected. If they are able to do it in a loving, encouraging way it builds up the loyalty and respect even more. Leaders that are truthful and loving will build a strong team and a healthy home.
  2. Showing Genuine Appreciation – Leaders that show regular appreciation for people, and are truly genuine about it are highly respected. The ability to encourage people by noticing good behavior and accomplishments and quickly acknowledging it is a rare quality. A leader that does this both publicly and privately will quickly win over their team if it’s done with a genuine heart that cares about each person. A leader that believes in the people they are leading shows regular appreciation and encouragement. It takes great discipline and focus to do this on a regular basis.
  3. Expressing Care and Concern – When people know that you really care about them, their respect and loyalty skyrocket. You can’t fake this, it needs to be genuine. Leaders that take the time to get to know you, ask about your family and your personal interests are also pretty rare these days. Walking slowly, listening and remembering, sending a note or a text to see how you are doing, those are game changers in leadership. Those small acts of care build a healthy culture. Everyone goes through hard times, when your leader listens, understands and helps as much as possible, it really matters.
  4. Being Decisive and Flexible – Most people appreciate a leader that can make wise, quick decisions. It keeps things moving and helps people get things done. When you add to that a leader that is willing to change their mind, go in a different direction, and listens for the best ideas, you have a highly respected leader. The great leaders are also quick to empower other people to make decisions and encourage them to be flexible as well.
  5. Humble yet Persistent – A leader that has a serving mindset and is always trying to lift others up builds trust and respect. Combine that humble mindset with being persistent and focused and you have a leader that can accomplish a lot, and has a healthy strong team. You can’t fake humble, a leader needs to truly desire to serve people and help them get better. That never give up attitude is also vital for an organization to survive and grow. These are the leaders that can navigate the dangerous waters of chaos, disruption and adversity and come out stronger and better.

One last thought about great leadership. Emotional health is also extremely important when it comes to leadership at work and at home. When you have damage emotions it comes out in the way that you lead. Before you can improve any of the qualities above, it’s important to work on your emotional health.

One of the best ways to do that is through spiritual growth. Deepening your relationship with God can bring real, long lasting healing to damaged emotions. Working through forgiveness, understanding God’s grace and mercy, and seeing yourself as a child of God are all very important in gaining emotional health. You may also need to seek counseling and sometimes even a medical doctor to make sure you are healthy emotionally and physically so that you can lead well.

We are all in process and hopefully getting better at leading the people entrusted into our care and circle of influence. Make it a priority to work on developing these key qualities, the people you lead will be grateful.

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Six Leadership Lessons I’ve Learned During the Pandemic

This has been the most unusual time of my life. I remember Y2K and the big deal about that, the fear it caused, but nothing like today. After 9-11 our country changed, and we now live in a new world because of what happened back then.

Today we are battling a world wide virus that is highly contagious and is not consistent in how it attacks people. That has caused doctors and scientists to constantly adjust and adapt to new information. The amazing thing is that they are learning more and making progress in how to treat this virus. Doctors, Scientists, and businesses are working hard to find solutions. Also businesses and industries have been very innovative and adaptive through this pandemic and have made major improvements in areas of testing, producing protective gear and even manufacturing needed medical equipment.

In church world this has been an interesting time as we have not been able to meet in person for church for months. Again, there has been innovation and creativity that has allowed churches to continue to grow and reach new people, while staying connected with the people already a part of the church. It has forced us to think differently, and it has helped more churches work together to love and serve people. I am actually grateful for this time as it has been a big time of stretching church leaders and helping us get out of our box and into the world.

I believe that many good things will come out of this time of Shutdown and Stay at Home orders. As our country starts to re-open, here are a few leadership lessons I’ve learned during this time that I think will help us moving forward.

  1. Leaders have to make decisions without all the facts. This has always been true, but with the ever changing environment today, leaders are faced with a lot of uncertainty and yet still have to make decisions. Some leaders get paralyzed and don’t make decisions, or defer to others that are considered to be experts. The main responsibility of a leader is to take in as much information and input as possible, and then make a decision that is best for the organization, country, state, family. The ability to discern, ask the right questions, and trust your instincts are leadership skills that help a leader in times like this. Don’t let fear and uncertainty keep you from making decisions and moving forward.
  2. Adaptability and Flexibility are keys characteristics of successful leaders. Today more than ever leaders have to be able to adapt quickly to new information, new ways of doing things and learn as you go. Being adaptable means you are not stuck on only one way of doing something, it means you are always looking for the best way, not your own way. Flexibility is another key. To me this means you can change directions quickly, you are open to learning from anyone, and again looking for the best ways to do things and get things done. Both of these characteristics require a good bit of humility. It also means that you have to be willing to take a risk, admit when you make a mistake, or when something is not working and either stop doing it, or change it. Our world is going to keep moving at a high rate of speed and leaders that are adaptable and flexible will be able to keep up.
  3. A crisis shows the emotional intelligence of a leader. Most people know that emotional intelligence is important for successful leaders. Yet when there is a lot of uncertainty and fear, our emotions can drive decisions. When you are aware of your emotions and can think clearly and calmly in a crisis, you will make better decisions and fewer mistakes. It’s also much easier to be adaptable and flexible when you are healthy emotionally. God gave us all emotions for a reason and the more aware you are of your emotions the healthier you can become.
  4. Leaders will always be criticized. Again, this has always been true, but it more evident in difficult challenging times. When information is limited and there is a lot of uncertainty, leaders still must make decisions, and will sometimes get it wrong or less than perfect. That’s part of being in the game instead of on the sidelines. There will always be critics, people that push back, question or challenge everything. Many of those people are not in positions of leadership, or if they are they are, they are low on influence because they take pot shots at others after the fact. Leaders have to be able to take criticism and know when to respond and when not to respond. That takes wisdom and discernment.
  5. Faith in God really makes a difference. Leaders with a healthy relationship with God, lead and make decisions much differently than leaders without faith. That God factor changes the perspective of the leader, and allows the leader to tap into the all powerful creator of everything. For me the most important lesson we can learn in this time is that God is in control, He has a plan, and He is always with us and for us. The deeper we go with God the more powerful and influential our lives become.
  6. Times like this are always preparing us for what is next. God uses times like this to prepare us for the things that are coming. He also uses things like a pandemic to help us see more clearly what is most important in life. It can reset our priorities and help us make the proper adjustments in our lives, organizations and countries. It also reveals our weaknesses and past mistakes, and forces us to address those mistakes or go backwards.

I know there are so many more lessons to be learned. The key is that we are actually learning and not just going through the motions and reacting as we go. Now is the time to be learning and growing. Now is the time to be adjusting and rethinking. Now is the time to be changing and fine tuning. Focus on what you can control and put the work in there, it will make a huge difference down the road.

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Thoughts on Character

Character cannot be developed through good resolutions and checklists.  It usually requires a lot of hard work, a little pain and years of faithfulness before any virtues are consistently noticeable in us.  Some people want to develop character quickly, but that does not work. When we move fast we often stumble and fall and only learn and change when the pain is too much for us.  That is why you cannot teach someone to be ethical. You can give them guidelines and ideas, but people tend to do what they know, and if you don’t know Jesus Christ and His teaching it is difficult to always be ethical.

What is character?

Character is the inward motivation to do what is right according to the highest standards of behavior in every situation.

Character consists of the stable and distinctive qualities built into an individual’s life which determine his or her responses, regardless of the circumstances.

Character is the wise response to the pressure of a difficult situation and what we do when we think that no one is watching.  It is the predictor of good behavior.

Character is translated in Scripture as “the express image”.  Originally it denoted an engraver or engraving tool. Later it meant the impression itself, usually something engraved, cut in or stamped.  In Hebrews 1:3 Christ is referred to as the “express image” of God.

WHY is character important?

  1. Character reveals the Lord Jesus Christ, since He is the full personification of all good character qualities.
  2. Understanding character explains why things happen to us, because all things work together for good to conform us to the character of Christ.
  3. Knowing precise character qualities gives us the basis for praising the character of God and others.

Character gives you the strength to practice a purposeful life.  It is a choice we make each day. We all have a purpose in life and certain abilities, passion and relationships.  Character gives us strength to make the tough choices in life. 

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Basic Needs we all have…

God made us with needs, and God promised to meet those needs.

“And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19

Paul is telling us that God is willing and able to meet all of our needs. It also acknowledges that we all have needs as human beings

Neediness is a characteristic of our God-given identities.

Physical needs:

  • Food
  • Water
  • Sleep
  • Oxygen

Spiritual needs:

  • To experience God’s love
  • To experience God’s forgiveness
  • To experience God’s peace
  • Only God Moments

Here are the Top Ten Relational Needs:

  • Acceptance
  • Affection
  • Appreciation
  • Approval
  • Attention
  • Comfort
  • Encouragement
  • Respect
  • Security
  • Support

These needs are the same for anyone, no matter where your from, no matter how young or old you are.

It’s OK to have needs, it doesn’t mean your weak.  When we understand our needs, it humbles us and builds our character.

Only God and other people can meet our needs.  Why did God create us this way?

  1. Our neediness Encourages us to depend on God and look to him to meet our needs
  2. Our neediness encourages interdependence – We are not robots, we have feelings and emotions and our neediness requires us to have healthy human relationships. We are here to serve one another.
  3. Accepting the reality of our needs helps us to develop a heart filled with compassion for others
  4. Admitting our needs frees us to receive and give care.
  5. Meeting the needs of others expresses care and produces unity in the body of Christ

My question for you is this.  Of the top ten relational needs listed above, which three are most important to you and which three are most important to your spouse or significant person in your life?  If you can figure that out and then communicate clearly to each other about it, your relationship will begin to improve.  You can control whether or not you are meeting these needs with others, you cannot control whether others will meet your needs.  However, if you are loving and serving the other person the likelihood of them meeting your needs goes way up.  If you’re too needy, that pushes everyone away from you.  You have to first meet the needs of others and show that you can do it in a healthy way.

One of the ways we can love and serve other people is by being aware of these basic needs in the people we are loving and serving. When we are able to meet some of these needs in others they feel loved and served.

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Scars

It was 1979 and I was 10 years old. I remember telling my mom that I hit double digits! A few days later I was coming home from playing ball at Walnut Creek Ohio. We lived at the bottom of a hill and I was on my bike. It was a sunny beautiful summer day. I was picking up speed and feeling amazing, like a race car driver. As I approached the bottom of the hill I planned to slow down and make the turn. What happened next was a blur, as I hit some loose gravel and turned, I went into an extended slide.

I remember slowly getting up, my pants were ripped at the knee and my leg was throbbing. I somehow got my bike upright and started hobbling toward our house. I remember doing a Jimmy Carter impersonation as I walked, He was President at the time. Using his southern accent, I distracted myself from the pain and thinking about anything but getting home.

I made it inside the house and slowly peeled off my jeans. I nearly passed out when I saw my knee. It was a combination of blood, open flesh, dirt and gravel. Today we call that road rash. I cover myself up and laid on the couch and waited for mom to get home. She was working and my two brothers were not home. I laid there talking like Jimmy Carter and thinking about things like baseball, fishing and my bike.

When mom got home she knew right away something was wrong. After listening to my version of what happened and examining my knee she called my Grandma. I could hear her on the phone asking what she thinks we should do. “Should I take him to the emergency room” mom asked?
Grandma was small but very tough, she grew up on a farm and had raised 5 kids on a farm. Grandma did not hesitate in her reply. “Oh it’s just a knee he will be fine”. So my mom hung up the phone and put a patch on my my knee and said it would be fine.

A few days later it was not fine. An infection had started and my mom knew I needed to see a doctor. She took me in and the doctor cleaned up the wound as best he could. He said it was too late for stitches so he patched me up and told us to change the bandages every day. He told us my knee would be OK but I will have a good sized scar the rest of my life. I remember seeing all kinds on dirt and gunk every time we changed the bandage. The salve we put on the wound drew out the dirt and infection over time and it eventually healed.

I still have that scar, and every time I see it I go back to that day on my bike and the scene I just described. We all have scars, some physical like mine but some emotional from hurts and trauma’s we had in our past. Every time we see that scar it take us back to that moment when we got hurt, abused, rejected or assaulted.

The physical scar on my knee has made my knee numb in that area, I remember years later I could take a pin and push it into the scar and not feel it. It’s the same for emotional scars. It numbs us to the pain, but there is still damage that was done. If you have some emotional scars, they won’t go away unless you work through it. There can be an infection under that scar. This often requires the help of skilled people to help you navigate the right way to do that.

I also believe we must involve God in this as well. Everything has a spiritual element to it, including our pain and hurts. Our attitude can’t be it’s just a knee or it’s just my emotions. God is involved in every part of our lives, especially the inner parts. That’s where He does his best work.

When we experience a trauma in our life the sooner we talk about it, admit our hurt and feelings and work through things like forgiveness, the sooner real healing can happen and the scar becomes smaller or can even completely heal and disappear.

If I would have gotten stitches right away, I would not have this scar today. But if we wouldn’t have taken care of the infection I could have lost my leg. Even years after a physical or emotional trauma you can experience emotional healing. Don’t wait, go get help, turn to God, forgive those that hurt you.

A great place to start is by talking to God about it. Sharing all the emotions with him and asking for help, healing and comfort. Then take the step to talk to a person, a counselor, a trusted mentor, or a pastor. It might be hard, but it will make you a better, stronger person. God loves you and cares about every part of your life, even the scars.

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Worry vs. Prayer

Big Point:  Worry is focused negative thinking, while prayer is focused spiritual thinking.

About 19 million Americans suffer from anxiety disorders, but far more suffer from mild anxiety or worry that has not yet developed into a disorder.  For many people today, worry has simply become a mental habit. Automatically thinking the worse case scenario for the events that happen in their lives.  It’s also playing the “what if” possibilities over & over in their minds.

This has become the normal for many people, however there is a better way and a better normal.  This way leads to less stress, more peace and better health. Philippians 4:6-7 gives us the better way “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.  His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”

So, prayer is the better way.  Pray should be our normal response to anything that comes our way.  Pausing to talk to God, ask for his help, for wisdom, for courage, for patience.  Expressing our frustrations, fears and doubts to him instead of having a negative conversation with ourselves leads to peace.  It also leads to better health both physically and emotionally.

Read and Reflect:  Read these passages of Scripture several times.  Each time you read it emphasize a different word.  Then reflect and think about what you noticed.

  • “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” 1 Peter 5:7
  • “So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” James 4:7
  • “But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory over those people, because the spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world.” 1 John 4:4
  • “And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find.  Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.” Luke 11:9
  • “But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles.  They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31

Questions to Consider:

  • What do you tend to worry about the most?
  • What benefits would you gain by praying more instead of worrying?
  • What is one thing you could do to remind yourself to pray more throughout your day?
  • When was the last time you memorized a passage of Scripture?  If it’s been awhile consider memorizing one of the verses in this devotional.

What’s Next?

  • Memorize one or more passages of Scripture this week.
  • Focus on Jesus by reading the story found in Luke 10:38-42
  • Make a list of all the things that you are grateful for
  • Build prayer into your daily schedule, with reminders until it becomes normal.

Pray:
Dear Lord,
I need you now because I am full of stress and anxiety. Reading your Word brings comfort, as I ask you to come and take my heavy burdens. I take each burden, one by one, and lay them at your feet. Please carry them for me so that I don’t have to. Replace them with your humble and gentle spirit so that I will find rest for my soul today. I receive your gift of peace of mind and heart. Thank you that I can lie down tonight in peace and sleep. I know that you, Lord, will keep me safe. I am not afraid because you are always with me. Please keep me daily, Lord, in your perfect peace.
Amen.