I don’t know if you have been following the whole LeBron James decision thing or not. I am a big basketball fan and my favorite team is the Cleveland Cavaliers. I must say that I am disappointed that he is leaving to go play in Miami. This had to be a tough decision for a young man to make, he is only 25. I remember when I was 25, looking back I now realize how little I really knew then.

I must say that I do respect LeBron’s passion for winning. He was willing to take less money and not be the top dog on the team in order to win. He could have made more money in Cleveland and he could have been more famous in New York, yet he chose winning and personal happiness.

LeBron James is very good at what he does and I wish him and his family the best.

So how should we approach the big decisions in our life? Should I take that new job? Should we buy that house or that new car? Should I get married or stay single? Should I go back to school and get a degree? Should we get a divorce or keep working on it? Should we move to a new city? Should I eliminate some things from my life? Should I say yes or no to this new big project?

Here are several things I try to do when facing a big decision:

1. Start Praying – I know that sounds religious, but God has promised to give us wisdom if we ask for it and follow his principles in life. When I begin to consistently pray for wisdom to make the right decision, God has always given me direction, through other people, bringing thoughts to my mind, helping me to focus and giving me peace.
2. Ask Questions and seek advice – I try to find someone that in knowledgeable about the area I am facing. Maybe someone that has gone through what I am going through. Maybe a financial advisor, maybe a Christian Counselor, maybe a trusted friend.
3. Write down the pros and cons – For me it helps to put it on paper. What are the positives and negatives of making this decision. I write down everything I can think of on both sides. Sometimes I even ask others to give me their pros and cons.
4. Don’t rush – I try never to make an emotional decision. Going slow is usually the best approach. We don’t always have that luxury, but often taking our time is the best approach. Do your homework and research and pray.
5. Do what is right, not what is convenient – Try to think about what would be best in the long term for you and your family. Evaluate all the options. Saying no to a big opportunity because it would put to much stress on you or your family can be hard, but could be best in the long term. Ask God what the right thing to do is.
6. Ask your self lots of questions – I try to ask myself things like why do I want to do this? What am I afraid of? If I do this how would it affect my wife & family? Will this make me a better person? Will this decision hurt other people? Will this improve my current situation or put me into more stress? What would Jesus tell me to do?

If you are facing “The Decision”, walk through these steps and then make the best decision you can. You won’t always get it right, but if you follow these guidelines it will help you make better decisions most of the time. When you get it wrong, admit it and try to not dig a deeper hole.

I was having breakfast with a couple of guys this week and one of the guys started sharing about how he turned his business around and started making progress and profits. This is what he told me:

I decided one day that I would take inventory of everything we are doing and stop doing anything that did not make money. If I can’t can’t make it doing only those things, then I planned on closing my shop and doing something else.

This was risky, because he would be turning customers away if it did not fall into one of the remaining services he wanted to do. He actually started referring the jobs that where labor intensive, but not profitable to his competitors. Over the years this strategy worked well for him. It allowed him to become very good at the work they did. The quality of the work improved and the level of customer service improved as well. By narrowing the focus he was able to become much more profitable.

I happen to work at a church and we have the same sort of strategy. We use phrases like less is more and narrow the focus in our strategy conversations. As a church we are not trying to make a profit, but we are trying to be really effective at leading people into a growing relationship with Jesus Christ. If we get too distracted with all kinds of ministry (labor intensive) activity we become less effective at reaching people and helping them grow.

It also is the same in our relationships. What would happen if you would take an inventory of all your current behaviors and actions? What if today you decided to narrow the focus in your marriage or important relationships and throw out all the stuff that doesn’t help, like unforgiveness, anger, sarcasm, the silent treatment, defensiveness, hurtful words, neglect, fear. jealousy, procrastination and selfishness. What is you only allowed things like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, righteousness and self-control to be evident in your life.

You might think that is impossible, but with God it is possible. Invite God into your relationships and into your heart and ask him for those things to become your new inventory. When you do that your profits will start to increase and everyone around you will benefit. So what are you going to stop doing today, so that you can be more profitable later?

Do you consider yourself to be creative? Some people do while others do not. I think it’s because we all have a different idea of what it means to be creative. I used to think being creative meant that you were artistic and could paint or draw or play music. As I have grown as a leader I am more convinced that some of the most creative people are the ones that do none of that.

People that are highly creative all have a bias toward action. They are constantly trying to come up with a better way of doing something. Improving systems, improving lives, improving communication, improving results. Creative people are like propellers, they keep things moving forward. Change is not the enemy, but something that is expected. Creative people are willing to take risks and they learn from failure.

Another thing that creative people do well, is they listen. If you don’t listen to other people and other ideas, you won’t get very far. By listening you can learn how to be relevant and how to connect with people. I happen to work at a church and we work hard at listening to what people are going through in their lives. The things we talk about are relevant because we are listening and willing to take risks by talking about things most churches avoid. We just finished a series on marriage called the Marriage Experts. We talked about things like sex, understanding men, understanding women, how to affair proof your marriage. We sold more Cd’s from this series than any series ever in our history.

I work with a team of very creative people at NewPointe Community Church. Our team is always looking for better ways to do the things we are doing. Creativity can only happen in an environment with a big vision. Ours is to change the world by helping people grow in their relationship with Jesus Christ.

Here is an example of something creative we are doing at NewPointe. It’s called Second Saturday Serve. The idea is that on the second Saturday of every month we mobilize a group of volunteers that go out into our communities and do projects. It can be simple things like cleaning up a park or trimming bushes for an elderly couple. It could be painting, weeding, cleaning out gutters, washing windows etc. The idea is to get people out in the community to serve. We focus on helping non-profit organizations and schools, but we also help individuals as we can. Our church has become known as the church that can help you.

That did not happen without some effort and creativity. We have closed the church on a Sunday in the past and sent everyone out to serve. We have sent teams to disaster areas to help clean up and rebuild. We have a program to help people with financial needs. We have a team of people that mentor others going through tough times. We have a team called Helping Hands that mobilizes skilled men and women to do home improvement projects. We have done over 50 projects over the past few years.

If NewPointe would cease to exist our community would notice. Can you say that about your organization or business. We have a long way to go and can get even better in a lot of ways. I am confident that we will do just that because we have a lot of creative thinkers on our team. If you want a challenge and want to grow then I encourage you to start getting creative and take some risks. Get involved with an organization that is making a difference and see how you can make a difference. If you want to get involved at NewPointe please contact me. You can connect with me on Facebook or Twitter.

This is part 4 about Choices. The idea is that we get to choose what we think about and how we respond to everything that happens to us.

One of the greatest truth in life is this: It’s not what happens to us (our past, present or future circumstances) or what people do or say to us that determine our emotions. Our emotions, words and actions come from what we think about after things happen to us. We control all of our emotions, words and actions by what we think. Emotions, words and actions are data telling us what we have been thinking.

I have been sharing some of my favorite Scriptures that have helped me over the years to transform my mind and heart. Today I want to focus on Philippians 4:8-9. this verse gives us eight big things for our minds to dwell on.

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me, put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”

Did you catch the 8 powerful, life changing words? I guess you could call them the Big Eight: true, noble/honorable, right, pure, lovely/beautiful, admirable/adorable, excellent and praiseworthy.

If we can get control over our thoughts and think about such things, it can lead to controlling our emotions, words, actions and we can avoid all kinds of pain and hurt in our relationships. It starts by making the choice to monitor what we are putting into our minds. There is so much available to us through technology that it becomes difficult to filter out the things that do not make that list.

Take a quick inventory of what you have been watching on TV or the Internet. What movies have you been watching? What books or magazines have you been reading? Who have you been listening to? What has captured your attention?

The things we feed our mind affect what we think about. No one controls how we think therefore, no one has the power to control how you feel, speak or act. When we get into unhealthy conflict with someone it almost always is because our thinking has been influenced by our emotions. Conflict is a good thing, because it helps us grow, but it is our unhealthy responses that lead to the destruction of the relationship. Fear is usually the culprit. I will be leading a Marriage workshop in a couple of weeks called Refocus Your Marriage. We will be looking at this idea of fear influencing how we handle conflict. If you are married, I would encourage you to sign up for the work shop at NewPointe.

If we can make the Big Eight a part of our thought process it will spur on the transformation of our minds. Using those eight words as a filter for what we allow into our minds and what gets our attention will bring new levels of peace, love, joy, kindness, gentleness, patience, faithfulness and self-control.

I have been writing about how our thoughts affect our emotions and then our behavior. To bring about lasting long-term change in our lives we need to transform our minds. I started sharing some Scriptures that have helped me to transform my thinking. The first two are Ephesians 3:16-20 and 2 Corinthians 10:3-5.

Today I want to share a powerful truth that has transformed my life. I first heard this truth on a business tape someone gave me. It wasn’t until later that I realized this comes from God’s word. Here it is: You become what you think!

Proverbs 23:7 says “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” and in Galatians 6:7 it says “A man reaps what he sows.”

Whatever thoughts we sow into our mind, we will reap the consequences. We become what we think. Everything about us is the result of what we have been thinking about. Daydreaming is thinking, planning is thinking, doubt is thinking, reacting to circumstances is thinking, imagining is thinking, guilt is thinking, jealousy is thinking and on and on.

Years of self talk or thinking have shaped us into the person we are today. Our personality, the way we see ourselves, other people and God is shaped by what we think about. If we have been thinking things like “bad things are always happening to me, I just can’t do anything right, I am not good at anything, everyone takes advantage of me” that shapes the person we are today. Any continual practice of negative thinking will bring on negative emotions, actions and words.

This truth became real for me when God was calling me to full-time ministry. I felt God was asking me to step out into ministry, but I was very confused and unsure of the future. I had a great job with a solid company. While I was their I kept thinking and acting like I was already in full-time ministry at this company. I remember telling myself over and over again that I am a pastor that happens to be working at this company. That impacted the way I treated my fellow employees and clients. The way I viewed my role in the company and the way I responded to circumstances was shaped by my thoughts.

After about two years of that line of thinking, I actually was given the opportunity to go on staff at my local church. I remember telling God that I was willing to stay where I was at as long as he wanted me there. I was not in control of anything except my thinking. When I left no one in the company was surprised, they knew that was a great fit for me and celebrated with me when I left.

The same thing can happen when we think in a negative way. When something bad happens to us, we are in control of what we think about this bad thing. Those thoughts determine your future emotions, words and actions. The range of emotions from joy to sadness come from our thoughts. When you think a certain way long enough it becomes a belief and when we believe something long enough we become what we believe.

If we are thinking the worst about our spouse, we tend to treat them in a negative way. It causes our emotions to be negative toward him or her and therefore our actions and words follow. That brings about a slow death to the relationship.

That is why it is so critical to think about what is true. When we feed our mind truth and we focus our thinking on the things of God it shapes who we are and how we respond to everything.

So what are you thinking about? What gets most of your attention? What do you think about yourself? Where do you see yourself next year? What do you think about God? What do you think about your spouse? Your boss? Your parents? Your job? Your church?

Who are you becoming? What you are sowing today, will eventually become a reality. The more we seek God the more we start to think like He thinks and the more we transform who we are.

I read this great quote from Jim Collins the other day:

“When we find ourselves in trouble, when we find ourselves on the cusp of falling, our survival instinct-and our fear-can evoke lurching, reactive behavior absolutely contrary to survival. The very moment when we need to take calm, deliberate action, we run the risk of doing the exact opposite and bringing about the very outcomes we most fear.”

When I read that I said wow. How true that often is. Desperate people tend to do desperate things. When you panic you tend to do things that do even more damage.

Maybe your marriage is slipping away and you begin to panic. You start grasping for anything out there that can “save” your marriage. You run the risk here of pushing the other person further away by trying to control the situation and outcome. The tighter your grip the worse it gets.

This is when you need to loosen your grip and focus on yourself. Face the fears that are causing you to respond and react in unhealthy ways. Get help for yourself, not the other person. If they make that choice as well, great. If not you need to keep working on your rough edges and blind spots. You need to work on becoming the best version of you possible. That means learning to speak the love language of your spouse. Communicating in ways that connect with your spouse. Looking for ways you can serve, respect and love your spouse.

This quote applies in almost all areas of life, whether business or personal. When you are going down, try not to panic and make a quick decision. Get wise counsel, read God’s word, be patient and listen more than you talk. Examine yourself and your motives. Ask yourself tough questions and work on developing a plan of action with specific clear things you can do to improve your situation. If it’s your finances then talk with someone that knows about finances and set some clear achievable goals to start working on.

Don’t allow your fears to paralyze you or cause you to panic. When you face them, with God, you can overcome nearly all obstacles. You will also emerge a stronger healthier person.

The dictionary defines a plateau as a state or level of little or no growth or decline; to stop increasing or progressing; remain at a stable level of achievement; level off. Does that describe any area of your life? Maybe spiritually, physically or relationally.

I have been working out for over 8 weeks now. It is a pretty intense program with a variety of exercises. I kind of felt like I was doing pretty well. I wasn’t sore anymore and I was able to keep up with most of the exercises. On Monday I did a new workout that I had not done yet. Those new exercises were a real challenge for me. I made it through the workout, but I could tell I was being pushed to a higher level of fitness. The next day I could feel the effects of the workout. I was sore and stiff in several areas of my body.

That soreness is an indication that my muscles have been stressed and that they are rebuilding and will be even stronger. Maybe you have been working out for a while doing the same thing. It might be running, walking, biking, basketball or whatever exercise machine you like. If you don’t change up your workouts from time to time your body gets used to it and you plateau.

To go to new levels physically, spiritually, relationally or emotionally you need to change up the way you are doing things.

To keep growing spiritually we need to keep progressing on that journey with God. Many people plateau spiritually because they are not experiencing God in new meaningful ways. Sometimes we get stuck in the same old routine, doing our favorite things.

Churches can also plateau by doing the same thing over and over again. Things that once worked well and where helpful are now just something to be checked off. Churches and individuals need to try some new things and keep it fresh by using some spiritual muscles you may not have used for a while.

So if you feel like you have plateaued spiritually, physically, relationally or emotionally here are some things you can do to get back on track:

• Get some help from a person that can coach you and encourage you – A personal trainer, counselor, executive coach, pastor etc.
• Talk to some people that are further ahead of you in whatever area you are plateaued.
• Try to do something you have not done before – A different workout, try a new sport, give more, volunteering at church or in the community, find a partner to train with, forgive, write some thank you notes to people that have influenced your life, read a book, write a story.
• Change up your routines – drive a different route to work, Stop and spend time praying in the middle of the day, do a random act of kindness, Fast for a day or three, confess your sin to a trusted friend, listen more than you talk, take a break from texting, facebook or the Internet.
• Be real – trying to fake it is the biggest way to plateau and start declining.

I am so excited about the new series NewPointe Community Church is starting called “The Me I Want To Be”. Most of us know that the person we are right now is not the best version, the version God designed us to be. At times we get glimpses of that best version, but those times can be few and far between. One of the things that I have discovered is that to achieve true long lasting change I need to change my life style, not just a few behaviors.

About three years ago my wife and I made the decision to get healthy. We got involved in a wellness program that helped us to lose weight. We both dropped weight over the three months we were on the program. What usually happens after we lose weight is that we slowly gain it all back, because we are not on the “program or diet” anymore. This time it was different for Vikki and I. We made the decision to make this a lifestyle change. We decided to keep doing the things that gave us the great results. We continued to eat the right kinds of food in the right portions. We continued to exercise, actually we both increased our exercise over the past three years.

Guess what happened, we started to think differently about food and exercise. We started to think in a healthy way about what we ate and how we exercised. The results have been great for us both. Between the two of us we have lost over 60 pounds and kept it off. We lowered our cholesterol, mine dropped over 100 points, and lowered our body fat.

I am now running in 5k’s and hope to run my first half marathon this spring. I have been in an extreme exercise program for 7 weeks and have improved my conditioning, strength and flexibility dramatically. I guess you could say we have made significant lifestyle changes physically.

I have started making some of the same changes spiritually and emotionally as well. I am working on my spiritual growth the same way I worked on my physical growth. I have developed a growth plan for my spiritual life, my relational life, my financial life and my physical life. I now have a road map that I refer to to keep me on track.

In any area of our lives positive growth doesn’t just happen. When we are not focused on growing and being healthy spiritually, emotionally and physically we get out of shape. To get back into good shape, it takes hard work and long lasting changes.

For me to grow spiritually I need to spend time with God, in ways that work for me. Each of us do that in different ways. What works for me may not work for others.

One of the things NewPointe has done to help people grow spiritually is a new website called The Change Inside. You can go there every day for a Scripture to read and a short devotional to read. I encourage everyone to go there over the next couple months. Start to make changes in how you think about spiritual growth. Look for ways you can connect with God and draw closer to Him. You can also get a NewPointe devotional at our bookstore or at the info desk at the Millersburg & Louisville campuses.

Don’t wait to make a lifestyle change, start today by making the decision that a year from now you will be closer to the person you want to be.

Did you know that about nineteen million Americans struggle with anxiety? Anxiety is the most common mental illness in the United States today. I work at NewPointe Community Church and have talked with many people that struggle with anxiety. Many struggle to the point that they can’t have healthy relationships, can’t keep steady employment and have multiple health problems.

Anxiety and worry go hand in hand. Worry is focused negative thinking, which can lead to anxiety which is the unpleasant sense of apprehension that comes with physical symptoms like sweaty palms, shallow breathing, rapid heart rate and general nervousness. Often worry and anxiety come from stress, it could be relational stress, financial stress, work stress, family stress. When a person is in constant stress their body produces way to much adrenaline and other chemicals that cause those physical symptoms. Over time anxiety gets worse and worse and our thinking begins to drive the anxiety.

For many people worry has simply become a mental habit. They automatically see events in their lives in terms of worse-case scenarios. Anxiety is often triggered by lies we believe and focus on in a negative way. The worrier will lie awake at night going through all kinds of what-if scenarios.

To overcome anxiety a person needs to deal with the root cause of the worry and anxiety. What lies are you believing about yourself, God and the world around you? The best way to identify lies we are believing is by reading truth. That is why I keep eleven truth statements in my desk drawer. I read through these on a regular basis and hand them out to people that are struggling with worry. These eleven statements come from the Bible. I often prescribe this to people by asking them to read these eleven truth statements out loud once a day for two weeks. What that does, is it brings your focus to something good and positive and true, even if it’s only a short period of time. If you can do that for 3-4 weeks it becomes a habit and can start to change the way we think.

To overcome anxiety you must develop new healthy habits for dealing with stress. Meditation is also focused thinking, but is focused on what is good. Meditating on Scripture is a great way to deal with stress. Prayer has also been proven to actually lower your blood pressure and reduce stress.

Philippians 4:6-7 says “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

In Mathew 6 Jesus teaches about freedom from anxiety. In verse 25 Jesus says, “Therefore I say unto you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on.” Again in verse 34 Jesus says, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things.” In other words, live in the present and don’t worry about the future which you can’t control or the past that you can’t change. Jesus is encouraging us to pray and give thanks instead of worrying. An attitude of gratitude and thanksgiving relaxes the body and calms the mind.

1 Peter 5:7 says “Give all your worries to him, because he cares about you.”

Here are five disciplines I plan on working on in 2010. These five disciplines were practiced by Jesus while He was here on earth. As I start a new year I am working on both physical and spiritual disciplines. So here are my Fab Five Spiritual Disciplines:

1. Solitude & Silence – This is spending time alone with God, escaping from all sounds and noises that distract us from connecting with God. I plan on scheduling time on my calendar to get away from people, electronic devices, TV, Internet etc. at least once a month.
2. Prayer – Talking with God, conversing with him on a regular basis. I love using the ACTS method of praying: Adoration – Telling Him how much I love Him, Confession – Making sure I have a clean slate with God, Thanksgiving – Thanking Him specifically for all He has done for me, Supplication – This is praying for other people.
3. Memorizing Scripture - Early in my walk with God I memorized some Scripture that is still with me as favorite verses. I did this through the Crown Ministries Bible Study I was a part of about 8-10 years ago. I memorized 12 Scriptures. My hope is to do that again in 2010. When you are under pressure you find out what is in you. If you have Scripture in you it will come out.
4. Unconditional Love – This involves understanding how much God loves me. There is nothing I can do or say that will make God love me more or less. I then need to unconditionally love the people around me. Everyone deserves to be heard, encouraged, forgiven, accepted, guided, coached and praised. Loving my wife that way, loving my co-workers that way, loving my family that way, loving my small group that way, loving people in the community that way, loving the needy that way.
5. Accountability Relationships - This means finding some people that I can share my vulnerabilities with. Giving some people in my life permission to ask me tough questions. Asking them to look for blind spots in my life. Finding people that will speak truth to me and not sugarcoat things. Getting feedback on a regular basis on how I am doing in all areas of my life.

If I can implement these five things into my life, My relationship with Jesus Christ will take a big step forward. It will also improve all the relationships in my life and make me a much better leader. Join me in this growth journey. Maybe its just one of these, maybe its all five. Maybe its your own five. The important thing is that you have a plan of action, because without action all this is meaningless.