Category: Personal Growth

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Looking Ahead

I find it very interesting that this time of the year most people are hopeful for a good year. We make resolutions, set goals and dream big. We quickly try to forget about the past year and look to the future. Exercise equipment and gym memberships sell well, as we make an attempt to get into better shape.

I was in Walmart today and was amazed at how much exercise and weight loss stuff they had. I have to admit that I am thinking about how much weight I need to lose (20 pounds would be nice).

So why do we get so excited about the future? Could it be because the future is unknown and that gives us hope? A hope that things could be better. Without hope we have little reason for living. We hope for a better future, whatever that looks like to you. That hope helps us to keep going, to keep trying, to keep pursuing our purpose in life.

As I look ahead to 2008, I hope to grow in my relationship with Jesus Christ. I don’t want to remain the same. I want to keep growing and maturing in my faith. I want to be healthy emotionally, so that my relationships can be better. I want to break through any walls that are holding me back from a deeper relationship with God.

I am very excited about what God is going to do in 2008. The stories of life change that I will get to hear. The people I will get to meet. The books I will get to read. The messages I will get to hear. The prayers I will get to pray. The places I will get to go. The relationships I will get to develop. The conflicts I will get to work through. The decisions I will have to make.

This past Sunday was the first Sunday in 2008. Three people at NewPointe Community Church made the decision to commit their lives to Jesus Christ. They have a brand new hope, a new life. I am so excited for those three people and all the others that will discover new hope in 2008.

No matter where you are at in your walk with God, you can keep growing. I encourage you to take that next step in 2008. For some people it will be to make that first time commitment. For others it will be to recommit their lives to God. For some it will be to be baptized, or maybe get into a small group. For others it may be to start serving in an area of ministry or maybe take on a more challenging volunteer role. For some people it may mean going on a short term mission trip. For others it may mean restoring a relationship. For some it may be to start tithing. I don’t know what step God has for you, but I do know He has a step He is asking you to take. Be strong and courageous and walk boldly forward on your spiritual journey in 2008.

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People Pleaser

Do you spend your life trying to please everybody?

I started reading Galatians this morning and got to verse 10: “Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.”

I don’t know about you, but I sometimes struggle in this area. I can easily get off track and focus too much on pleasing or winning the approval of people. When I do this, I will often avoid conflict, not say what I really think, say what I think they want to hear or remain silent.

I try to ask myself if what I am doing is pleasing to God or people. Am I simply doing this to look good to those around me or because I know it is what God wants me to do, even if no one else notices.

As I think about it more, I believe this is a maturity issue. Children and teenagers often like to be the center of attention. They want everyone to like them. As you grow older into adulthood, you realize that the world does not revolve around you, that you can never please everyone.

As we grow or mature spiritually, we also become more intimate with God and want His will and purpose more than anything. That intimacy helps us to see people, circumstances and situations like God sees them. We have a new perspective that helps us to think and act more like Jesus would. Intimacy with God gives us the ability to speak the truth in love and to face conflict and difficult situations. It helps us get our hands dirty and reach out to the lost and hurting. It helps us to not judge others, but to love others. It helps us to give more and invest our time in things that have eternal value.

What is the difference between people pleasers and God pleasers? Perspective.

People pleasers lose sight of the big picture and get caught up in the here and now. God pleasers have an eternal perspective, they are willing to do the tough, hard things that sometimes don’t make sense to man, but are pleasing to God.

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Golden Nuggets from Dale Carnegie

I have been reading an old book from Dale Carnegie called “HOW TO STOP WORRYING AND START LIVING”. I have shared a few other thoughts from this book before and wanted to give you his “Seven ways to cultivate a mental attitude that will bring you peace and happiness”.

I believe these seven things can really help in your mental and emotional health.

Rule 1: Let’s fill our minds with thoughts of peace, courage, health, and hope, for “our life is what our thoughts make it.”

Rule 2: Let’s never try to get even with our enemies, because if we do we will still hurt ourselves far more than we hurt them. Let’s do as General Eisenhower does: let’s never waste a minute thinking about people we don’t like.

Rule 3: A. Instead of worrying about ingratitude, let’s expect it. Let’s remember that Jesus healed ten lepers in one day-and only one thanked Him. Why should we expect more gratitude than Jesus got?
B. Let’s remember that the only way to find happiness is not to expect gratitude-but to give for the joy of giving.
C. Let’s remember that gratitude is a “cultivated” trait; so if we want our children to be grateful, we must train them to be grateful.

Rule 4: Count your blessings-not your troubles!

Rule 5: Let’s not imitate others. Let’s find ourselves and be ourselves, for envy is ignorance and imitation is suicide.

Rule 6: When fate hands you a lemon, let’s try to make lemonade.

Rule 7: Let’s forget our own unhappiness-by trying to create a little happiness for others. “When you are good to others, you are best to yourself.”

I hope these rules are an encouragement to you. If you can put them into practice you will experience more peace and happiness. As I read through this book I can see that Carnegie was a Christian and was taking Biblical principles and putting it into easy to understand principles for people to follow. That is our challenge today, to put Biblical principles into action in our lives to make a difference in this world.

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Why do people do the things they do?

In my job, I talk to people every week about different struggles and problems they are experiencing. We all have issues or difficult circumstances in our lives. No one is exempt from suffering and pain. So as I was thinking about some of my own issues and circumstances I have been asking myself this question: “Why do we do the things we do?”

I believe the answer to that question is, we do what is in our hearts. The principle of inescapable influence says “Whatever rules the heart will exercise inescapable influence over the person’s life and behavior.” I learned about this principle in a book called “Instruments in the Redeemer’s Hands” by Paul David Tripp.

Tripp says “that if we fail to examine the heart and the areas where it needs to change, our ministry efforts will only result in people who are more committed and successful idolaters”. Anything that replaces or comes before God in our lives is an idol.

So, our daily behavior is our attempt to get what is most important to us in certain situations and relationships. What we do always reveals the true desires in our hearts. The book of James says “But people are tempted when their own evil desire leads them away and traps them. This desire leads to sin, and then the sin grows and brings death.” (James 1:14,15).

So this all comes down to an issue of worship. What we worship determines how we respond to our circumstances. If we are loving, worshipping and serving the wrong thing, we will do things that line up with what we are worshipping.

Here are 5 things that Tripp gives us for application in our personal growth:

1. Our hearts are always being ruled by someone or something.
2. The most important question to ask when examining the heart is, “What is functionally ruling my heart in this situation?”
3. Whatever controls my heart will control my responses to people and situations.
4. God changes us not just by teaching us to do different things, but by recapturing our hearts to serve Him alone.
5. The deepest issues of the human struggle are not issues of pain and suffering, but the issue of worship, because what rules our hearts will control the way we respond to both suffering and blessing.

Every one of our hearts has a fount of competing desires. There is a battle going on in each of us for our hearts. God wants all of our heart, not just part of it. Our hearts direct our behavior, so if our hearts have dark corners or empty spaces we will continue to do things we don’t want to do. We will say things we don’t want to say. Things like anger, bitterness, lust, unforgiveness, jealousy and guilt will leak out of our hearts and into our behavior or words.

Our problems in our relationships and the wacky things we do are rooted in problems of worship. That is why we must start with God. I encourage you to go and read Galatians 5:13-26 for some powerful truth. This passage of Scripture is about what we do next. Will we live in self-imposed bondage to our emotions? Will we submit to our own sinful desires? Or will we grab a hold of the truth and transform our hearts?

It all starts on the inside, when that changes, the outside begins to change as well.

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Attitude isn’t Everything

I came across an incredible thought today. I was listening to a leadership lesson by John Maxwell. John has influenced my leadership greatly over the last 10 years through his books, tapes and seminars. The quote that got my attention was from an unknown source.

“Attitudes are when we learn to think correctly without acting. Habits are when we learn to act correctly without thinking.”

I used to think that attitude was everything. If I had a great attitude things would go my way. I have found that is not true. A great attitude definitely gives you an advantage in life, work and relationships. However without great habits the best attitude in the world won’t get you through the hard times. It really takes both.

I try really hard to have a good attitude, but sometimes find myself with a bad attitude because of circumstances or people. In those down times I need good habits that will carry me through.

Some of those habits include:
prayer, time alone with God, reading my Bible, fasting, silence, solitude, rest, journaling, confession, listening, worshipping God, seeking wise counsel, serving someone else, giving, going to church, community, exercise, focus, organizing and planning.

Not all of these things are habits for me, but some of them are. I am working on it, along with my attitude. Often I find that when I am getting discouraged or down I have strayed away from some of these basic spiritual habits. As I get back into them I experience God and that changes everything.

If you are experiencing a hard time in life look at some of these habits and start to work on them. As you do, you take the focus off of your hard times and onto growing in your relationship with God. Your attitude and habits will keep you centered. Your habits determine what you are centered on. Are you centered on Jesus Christ or yourself?

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Obligation or Opportunity

I am reading a small but powerful book called “You Don’t Need A Title To Be A Leader” by Mark Sanborn. That title says a lot, and I have always believed that, but I have not always lived it out. I grew up in the corporate world of banking and consulting and titles were very important. What level of Vice President you were gave you status and power. My goal was to become President and CEO. Great titles, right, but those titles didn’t make you a good leader, it just shows who is in charge.

Some of the best leaders I have seen were not the CEO or President. Great leaders don’t wait on a title to start leading. They take initiative and help get things done. They look for ways to make a difference and improve things. They make suggestions and give their opinion. They don’t back down when confronted, but take a stand for what they believe in. They persevere and are patient when they have to. They are humble and yet persistent. They get things done and work well with other people. They encourage team members and are willing to do the dirty work.

In Sanborn’s book he talks about opportunity versus obligation. This is what he writes “How do you live your life? As an obligation, or as an opportunity? Those who see life as an obligation want the task at hand to be done with as quickly as possible, with little regard to the outcome. The people who change the world around them-for themselves, their companies, communities, and families – rarely act from a sense of obligation. In fact, the people who act as leaders almost always act from a sense of incredible opportunity. They don’t interact with the world around them because they have to. They do so because they want to.”

So how are you viewing your circumstances, your job, your marriage, your church, your community, your school? Are these obligations or opportunities? When the phone rings do you respond to each call as an opportunity to impact someones life or an obligation to answer a question. The busier you get, the more pressure you are under, the more you tend to view things as an obligation and you miss many opportunities. As you feel the pressure and the stress your motivation goes down and your sense of obligation goes up.

To change your perspective maybe you need to simplify your life. Maybe you need to narrow your focus and re-evaluate your priorities. Viewing life as an opportunity to do your part in God’s bigger story will increase your motivation and drive. You see, God has a plan for your life and my life. Every day God gives us opportunities to make a difference, to be a miracle for someone, to be a light, to be an encouragement. Begin to look for opportunities to make a difference and pray for the courage to dive into God’s story.

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Steps

We kicked off a wellness program this week for our staff at NewPointe. We are on three teams and competing in several areas. The idea of course is for all of us to get healthier. I am excited about this new program because it has already motivated me to get into better shape. I went on walks the last two evenings. I would like to invite all those fellow blog readers to join us in this wellness effort.

This week we are counting our steps for an entire day. On day one I only had 9,300, but I got my step counter after first service Sunday. Todd Colucy was the big winner on day one with over 36,000 steps, wow! Today I am at 13,000 steps.

I know we all want to get in better shape and for me I need a little motivation. This may be the catalyst that I need to get over the hump and lose the weight, body fat etc while lowering my cholesterol.

I want to challenge everyone that reads this to set some goals for the next month. Get out and walk once or twice this week. Go on bike rides, stretch every morning, whatever it is for you. Then get out and start doing it.

It is the same for us spiritually. Set some achievable goals to pray, read the Bible, listen to messages or read a book. Then start doing it. Spiritual and physical health doesn’t just happen, it takes some effort, planning and accountability. Next time you see me ask how my diet & exercise is going. You can also ask me how my prayer and Bible reading are going too. If you ask me, I will ask you.

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Personal Growth

My personal mission statement is “Growing in Faith, Character & Leadership” To me the most important part of that statement is the first word; “Growing”. Growing means that I am learning, changing, adapting, failing, planning, attempting new things, going, doing, thinking and focusing.

If I am not growing then I am declining. I want to grow in my personal faith, becoming more intimate with my Lord. I want to know Him and experience His presence and learn His ways.

I also want to grow in character, which usually happens through adversity. I want to be known for the character qualities others see in me, not the accomplishments. Qualities like dependability, flexibility, patience, responsible, determined, gentle, wisdom, discernment and courageous.

I want to grow in leadership as well. To become a better leader with the people that I have influence with. Leadership is about influence and I want my influence to grow. I want to be the leader that God created me to be. To step out and take chances and live life to the fullest.

So how do I grow? One way is I read a lot of books. I love to learn from other people. The more I read the more I grow in knowledge and understanding. I just finished three books I had been reading over the last couple of months. Each of those books challenged me in a different way. It fed my desire to become a better husband, employee, pastor, friend and Christ-follower.

Reading is very important in growing. Remember as a child how reading played a significant role in your development. In school I had to read, in college I had to read even more. Now I read because I want to. I read books on leadership, Christianity, discipleship, business and management. I also read fiction, usually stories about ordinary and extraordinary people. My favorite fiction writer is John Grisham, my favorite non fiction author is Erwin McManus.

As important as reading is in personal growth, so is going and doing what what I read. I need to put into practice what I am learning or it is wasted. If I read the Bible and don’t do what it says, all that reading is wasted. My challenge to you is to Grow. Don’t stay where you are at spiritually, emotionally or intellectually. Read, listen to Cd’s, watch DVDs whatever works for you, but don’t stop learning and growing. The more you grow the more God can use you.

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Adversity

We all face adversity in our lives, some more than others. Some of it we bring on ourselves by making bad decisions and others just happen to us because he live in an imperfect world. I have been slowly reading through a book called “Beyond the Summit” by Todd Skinner. It is about mountain climbing, but has many great principles for our lives.

Todd talks about adversity while on the side of a mountain. I can’t imagine trying to climb a vertical wall 2,000 feet high and having to watch for falling rocks and storms. That is real adversity! This is what Todd says; “You can’t dodge a rock until it falls… we are more often stopped by the fear that a rock might fall than by a rock actually falling. But we can’t cower under an overhang, seeking shelter from any rock that might fall, and climb the mountain.”

As I read that I had to think about the church, not just NewPointe, but the church in general. Has the church been cowering under a safe overhang hiding from rocks that might fall? Am I as a leader hiding in a safe spot because I am afraid a rock might hit me or I will get caught in a storm? The church cannot reach the summit (all people groups) if it doesn’t keep climbing. It starts with us as leaders, getting out on the mountain and start climbing.

It is through adversity that we are shaped and molded into the men and women that God can use. The storms of life draw us closer to God and build our faith. The adversity helps us to make the changes we need to make in our lives. With no adversity or storms in life, we would never change. God does not want us to remain the same. We cannot change and grow if we don’t face our fears and start climbing. When a rock falls you dodge it. When a storm comes you persevere through it.

We as individuals and a church need to remember that we have the greatest mountain climber in the universe along side us. God is with us through every storm, every step, every circumstance, every rock slide. With Him we can reach the summit and beyond. Adversity can be a blessing, because it helps us to grow our faith, character and leadership.