In this World

I started doing some jogging lately and I really enjoy it. I like the idea of getting healthier and maybe even running a 5k or two, but the other thing I enjoy is getting to listen to some of my favorite music, enjoying the great outdoors and listening to God while I run.

This past week I have experienced several things that led me to this entry in my Blog. I listened to a CD from John C. Maxwell called “Success Classics – Part One”. I went to the Free Methodist annual conference in Dalton Ohio at Living Water Free Methodist church. I did some reading, I met with my men’s group and I bought some music on iTunes.

You might wonder what all those things had to do with each other. Well not much except as I was running today God helped me realize that all these events were speaking to me about being in this world and understanding what that means. Sometimes Christians call it secular or worldly stuff. You know, some things are Christian and some things are secular.

Let me explain. John Maxwell was talking about 9 classic books about success. Most of the books he mentioned were rather old, yet they had many great truths in them. Of the 9 books I have only read 2. None of them were Christian books. The one statement that stuck with me was that John said, he is willing to read anything, if he thinks there might be a nugget or two he can take a way. He mentioned the book “The Secret” which has been very popular in the “secular world”. He said that he read it not because it was a classic, but because so many people were reading it, he wanted to see what the author had to say. He went on to say that there were some good things in the book. He also said there were some things that he didn’t think were true and he clarified that. The point was, he was able to read it and take a away some good stuff and throw out the useless stuff, or at least have the discernment to know what is true and what is not.

At the Free Methodist conference on Friday we heard from our new Bishop. He was interesting and tried to be funny and relaxed. It was a nice change from some of the past conferences, but still pretty boring. However, I was able to take a way some good stuff. I am excited about the vision of reaching out to help the poor in our communities even more over the next several years. They also showed a video about a church that was built in a town about 40 years ago. At the same time a grocery store was built in that same town. About every 8-10 years the grocery store made major changes to reach its customers and get them to come to the store. They would change the type of food they offered and changed the look of the store often. The church did not change over those 40 years and eventually was closed. Evidently the church did not want to reach people and get them to come back or even come at all.

I have been reading a book called “What Got You Here, Won’t Get You There” by Marshall Goldsmith. I don’t think he is a Christian, as a matter of fact he mentions some Buddhist stuff he studied. I am learning some good things that are helping me be more efficient at work. I also am reading “secular” fiction books by John Grisham and David Baldacci, both great story tellers.

I also met with my men’s group this morning. We had breakfast together and had a great time laughing and talking. One of the guys is moving to Florida and we said our goodbyes, but we plan on staying in touch. He is now a friend of mine. Some of the guys in the group have really opened up and are sharing the real stuff going on in their lives. It is messy and dirty and not much fun. We are praying for each other and trying to encourage each other. Those guys all know that we care about each other and will be there for each other no matter what. This is a real group of guys that are building lasting friendships.

Lastly, I love music. I have been building my iPod collection. I listen mostly to “secular” music. Even the radio stations I listen to are mostly “secular” 92.5 WDJQ & 98.1 WKDD if anyone cares. Just today I downloaded “3 Doors Down” newest CD and I also bought a couple of “Cold Plays” new songs. Other groups on my iPod are Plain White T’s, OneRepublic, Nickelback, Matchbox Twenty, Maroon 5, Lifehouse, Linkin Park, Goo Goo Dolls, Evanescence, Daughtry, Justin Timberlake, Usher, The Killers, Augustana and The All-American Rejects. Of course I also have some great Christian groups as well.

My point of all this is that I don’t want to isolate myself from the world. I don’t want to be a typical pastor or typical Christian. I don’t want to miss what is real and relevant in this world. I want to know what people are thinking about and listening to. As Christians it is very easy to get into our own little world and talk our talk and walk our walk. We can put on a smiley face and be content with our safe little world. Most of the time we are only vocal about what we are against.

I don’t think that is how Jesus was. He was in the world. He got his hands dirty and met with and listened to the most undesirable people. He understood what people were struggling with and what they needed. This world can be dirty and ugly sometimes, but that what makes it real. That is why we are here.

It seems to me that most non-Christian people don’t think very highly of church and church people. At our church conference the Bishop shared that non Christians or seekers use words like judgemental, hypocritical, boring, out of touch and irrelevant about church and Christians. Wow, if that is how people are seeing us, I can imagine what they then think about Jesus. Why would they want to know more about Him?

I had to ask myself this question. Do I love this world or do I hate this world? I have decided that I love this world, because Jesus loves this world. God loves every person in this world, even if they have tattoos or piercings. He loves the alcoholics and the house wives. He loves the homeless person and the farmers. He loves the CEO and the factory worker. He loves the poor and the rich.

Because that is how Jesus is, I want to be like that. I want to understand what people are dealing with and connecting with. I want to be able to listen to someone and not judge them or think that I am so much better than that person. I am glad I am in this world, because that is right where God wants me. He wants us to get dirty, to get real and to be with people. He wants to use us to reach a lost, dirty, broken world. To do that we need to understand the culture in which we live. We can’t isolate ourselves and hope the people come to us.

That is how the church should be. It should be irresistible and real, the coolest most happening place in the community. It should be a place where everyone feels welcome and not judged. A safe place, a place to heal, to grow, to ask questions, to have fun and celebrate, a place to make lasting friendships, a place to be inspired and to be equipped for whatever God brings their way. In short the church should be the hope of the world.

Relationships Matter

I just finished reading a great book by a pastor friend of mine, Bruce Hamsher. It is called “Bouquets – Intentional Relationships in Making Disciples”. The idea of the book is that we are an aroma to the people around us. We can either be like a bouquet of flowers or something else that does not smell good.

It was a great read for me because it reminded me how important relationships are. First and foremost our relationship with Jesus needs to keep growing. Bruce talked about baby Christians needing to get fed, but as we grow, we are able to feed ourselves. And as we mature, we can feed others. To mature in our relationship with Jesus Christ, we need to do what He taught. We need to put into action the things we have learned. When you do something it shows that you have learned it and taken it to heart.

Being intentional about investing in people is what God has called us to do. Being aware of those around us that we can be an encouragement to or that we can comfort or that we can pray for.

I hope that I can be a giver of Bouquets to the people around me, how about you?

Customer Service

Last week I had a great customer service experience at a local retailer. I recently have lost some weight, actually my wife and I have lost over 50 pounds together. As a result many of our clothes do not fit. We have been slowly buying clothes to replace the bigger ones.

On Thursday I realized that I had a wedding to officiate on Saturday and the three suits I own were all much to large for me. On Friday my wife and I went looking for a suit. We checked several big retailers and didn’t like what we found and didn’t get much help.

We ended up at Robert’s men store in New Philadelphia. When we walked in we were immediately greeted by the owner. I told him my situation and he said no problem, we can have a suit tailored for you by the morning. He asked me what I liked and then showed me several suits. I needed one that I could wear to both weddings and funerals. I decided on a great looking black suit and he measured me up.

He did not pressure me to buy a shirt and tie like some places do. I got the suit the next morning and had a great wedding on Saturday afternoon. Congratulations to Phillip Coletti and Heather Yoder.

The reason I call that a great customer service experience is that it was a pleasant experience and made me want to go back when I need other clothes. The salesman asked me questions, found out what I liked and then delivered quick service. I have also dealt with them in the past and have had many such experiences. That keeps me coming back.

It should be the same way at church. Churches should make sure that they are giving a great first impression and great “customer service”. The win for a Sunday morning service at my church (NewPointe Community Church) is for people to want to come back. We believe that if they keep coming back they will be changed and impacted by God.

That is why it is so important that everything is done with excellence and we pay attention to all the details. Things like clean bathrooms, friendly helpful people, quick check in of children, the smell of fresh coffee and help finding a seat for your family are all critical. Churches should be the best at customer service, because we have the best product in the world. We need to remove all the distractions so that people will come back. The more they come back the more they will grow in their intimacy with God, the more opportunity they will have to experience community and the more they can influence the world around them.

Leaders Edge

On Wednesday I had the privilege of speaking at Leader’s Edge. Leader’s Edge is an environment for business and non-profit leaders. It is hosted at two locations on the first Wednesday of every month. One is at Der Dutchman Restaurant in Walnut Creek Ohio at 7:00 am; the other is at the McDonald/Marlite Conference Center in New Philadelphia, OH at 12:00 pm. NewPointe Community Church has been offering this for nearly 10 years.

The first 20-30 minutes is a time of networking and eating breakfast or lunch. The last 30-40 minutes is a talk about leadership or management issues.

I thought I would share a few nuggets from the talk I gave to the leaders that came on Wednesday.

The title of the talk was “Getting Beyond I know it All”.

Many leaders have a little bit of a know it all mentality that can hold them back from being as successful as they could be. I started with a great quote from Peter Drucker “We spend a lot of time teaching leaders what to do. We don’t spend enough time teaching leaders what to stop. Half the leaders I have met don’t need to learn what to do. They need to learn what to stop.”

I believe that the higher you go in leadership, the more your problems are behavioral. It becomes less about doing the work yourself and more about getting other people to do the work. This usually brings out some of our interpersonal behavioral bad habits. Your people skills become more important the higher you go in leadership.

I talked about the TV show “House”. House is a brilliant doctor that is obnoxious, rude, crude and not very likable. His team of doctors get all the tough cases and they always solve the problem at the last minute. This weeks episode dealt with a doctor that left his team. She is still working at the hospital though. She kept giving her thoughts on the current case and Dr. House offered her job back. She told him that she really missed the job, the challenges and many things about the work. She went on to tell him that she did not miss him.

You see, people do not typically leave an organization or a department, they leave a person.

I went on to talk about five bad interpersoanl behaviors that keep us from being great leaders or managers.

Here they are:

1. Adding too much value – feeling like you need to add to and improve every idea that comes your way.

2. Starting a sentence with “No”, “But”, or “However” – When you do that you send the other person the message that they are wrong, even though I agree with some of what you said. I challenged the group to go back to work and start counting how often people use those three words.

3. Telling the world how smart you are – We can do this with non-verbal messages or verbal messages. Being smart turns people on, announcing how smart you are turns them off.

4. Withholding Information – whether intentional or unintentional this is very damaging to an organizations culture. When you leave someone outside the loop by not giving them information you devalue them. Not returning a voicemail, email or only giving partial answers, sets people up to fail and be frustrated.

5. Refusing to express regret – Refusing to apologize or admit you were wrong is a big behavioral problem. Not only in your personal life, but at work. People who can’t apologize at work might as well be wearing a t-shirt that says “I don’t care about you”. Admitting you were wrong and saying you are sorry builds respect and loyalty like nothing else.

I closed with these nuggets on leading better:

* Push decisions down
* Involve others as much as possible in key decisions
* Be a developer, not an answer man
* See your people as your greatest resource for ideas
* Give your people space to make decisions
* Let those who are responsible decide how the jobs will get done.

If you want to read more about some of these topics, you can check out two books:

“What got you Here, Won’t get you There” by Marshall Goldsmith
“Top Ten Mistakes Leader’s make” by Hans Finzel

LEAD ON!

The next Leader’s Edge will be on Wednesday September 3rd, 2008.

Habitat For Humanity

Today I participated in my first Blitz Build for Habitat. I am currently serving on the board of director for Tuscarawas Valley Habitat for Humanity. We are currently building a house in Midvale, OH. The house got started about three weeks ago and today we wanted to get the walls up and get it under roof (Blitz Build). It was a nasty, rainy day, but we got most of the work done. We had around 20 great volunteers from the local community that came out and helped get the house up. We worked for about 7 hours. We got the black paper on the roof, all the windows and doors are in and it is ready to hook up the electric (We still need a plumber).

This was a good experience for me. I helped out with several parts, but the most interesting was helping up on the roof. I learned that if you show me how to do something I can do it, but if you try to tell me I struggle to catch on.

Isn’t life like that sometimes? When we have a good example and can observe the right way to do life it really helps us, especially growing up. We learn about how to have healthy or unhealthy relationships, how to handle money, how to work, how to give, how to set priorities, how to show love, how to eat right. It goes on and on and it can be helpful or destructive depending on the example you have.

When someone tries to tell us how to do it correctly or differently later in life, it becomes much more difficult, because we have this filter we hear and see everything through. That filter may not be accurate, but it is what we have learned from observing others. Changing the behavior we have always known can be difficult, but not impossible. You can find a new example, read and study that area and then make the changes you need to make.

At the end of the day I was tired, muddy and truly blessed.

Leadership Development

My personal life mission statement is “Growing in Faith, Character and Leadership”. I have been using that for almost eight years now. It helps me to stay focused.

This past Friday I was part of a day of leadership development at NewPointe Community Church. It was a live Simulcast from Atlanta GA called ADVANCE. The day was filled with great speakers on various leadership related topics. Since I was helping run the event I did not get to hear all the speakers. The ones I did get to listen to gave me some great insights and nuggets to think about.

I believe we must be constantly growing, if we stop growing we become stagnate and comfortable. To grow takes initiative, effort, focus and time. We need to grow in our personal lives, professional lives and relational lives. My passion is growth. I love to see people growing and changing. It really saddens me when I see someone after a long time and they have not changed. It makes me wonder what opportunities they have missed.

Today I want to talk about growing as a leader. You may not think you are much of a leader, but we are all leaders in some way because we all have influence with someone. If you don’t grow as a leader, your influence with people will not grow and you will not get much accomplished. Leading people is a challenging thing, especially if they are volunteers.

Over the past six years I have been leading in the church environment and have learned a ton. I have learned more what my strengths are and how to maximize those strengths. I have learned that leadership is relationship driven and that it takes a great deal of time to build meaningful relationships. I have learned that I have a lot to learn and a long way to go. I have learned that I need help from others that are further along than I am. I have learned that I need to be held accountable or I get off track. I have learned that when you make a mistake you admit it and apologize and ask for forgiveness. I have learned that I need to say no more often. I have learned to speak up and push back when I do not agree or feel that we are making a mistake. I have learned to keep my mouth shut when I am angry or emotional. I have learned that people will follow a passionate person with a big vision. I have learned that God is in control and I am not.

I could go on but I will stop there. I want to end with some nuggets that I took away from Friday’s ADVANCE Leadership Conference.

“Vision is a mental picture of what could be, fueled by a passion that it should be”. Andy Stanley

“What would go undone if you ceased to exist.” Andy Stanley

“Stop thinking of yourself as a problem solver; think of yourself as a solution finder.” Bill Taylor

“People don’t have to work for you to work with you.” Bill Taylor

“Speak up, never accept the boundaries other people have given you.” Kevin Carroll

“Maximize the day, you have 86,400 seconds in a day, be present.” Kevin Carroll

“Bring your authentic self to people.” Kevin Carroll

“People change for three reasons: Pain, Fear of conscience, Vision.” Dan Cathy

“Going the first mile is what is expected; going the second mile builds a relationship and an emotional connection.” Dan Cathy

“There are things we work for and there are things we wait for. It is a big mistake to wait for something you haven’t worked for.” John Maxwell

“For everything you gain, you give up something.” John Maxwell

“You can easily determine the caliber of people by the amount of opposition it takes to discourage them.” John Maxwell

“People cannot be fulfilled in their work if they are not known. All human beings need to be understood and appreciated for their unique qualities by someone in a position of authority. People who see themselves as invisible, generic, or anonymous cannot love their jobs, no matter what they are doing.” Patrick Lencioni

“Everyone need to know that their job matters to someone. Anyone.” Patrick Lencioni

Singleness

My last post about loneliness led me to the thought of being single. Many people equate being single to being lonely. Our society is filled with many people that are single. Some have never married, others are divorced, others have lost their spouse. For whatever reason we have a large population of single people. I have noticed that many singles are attracted to the local church. It may be because they are looking for healing of the hurts of divorce or loss. It may be they are searching for community and friendships. It may be to look for a spouse.

I am not single, so I don’t know what a single person is going through. I do however know what the Apostle Paul and Jesus said about being single. Paul said is 1 Corinthians 7: 1, 8, 25-26 “It is good for a man not to marry…Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am…Now about virgins:…I think that it is good for you to remain as you are.”

In these four verses Paul is addressing questions that the Corithian church had about marriage. They were asking if it was good or better to be married. That culture was filled with sexual tempatation, much like our culture today. Whether you are married or single those temptations are just as big. In that type of an environment Paul was saying that is is good to be single and to be content in the situation where God has placed you, wether married or single. He made it clear that both marriage and singleness are gifts from God. One is not morally better than the other, and both are valuable to accomplishing God’s purposes.

Paul talked about the benefits of serving God in a deeper way by being single and being able to give God more of your time. Paul was in fact single himself. People that are married must also meet the needs of their spouse and family, which makes it difficult to serve God or go into mission work.

Jesus also talked about this subject. In Matthew 19:12 he said “For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”

I believe He is implying here that there are some who are so disciplined and motivated that they choose singleness so that they may better give undistracted service to the Lord and other people. Jesus did not make this mandatory, but optional. Not everyone can live such a disciplined life. It is important to note that the church and the world owe much to those who have deliberately chosen this course. Many single men and women have given their lives to serving and reaching the lost. As a result the Good News about Jesus has been spread across the world. I have met some of these folks and am amazed at their heart and passion to reach the lost.

Others have done this for a portion of their lives and were able to be content in that situation and that stage of life. If you find yourself single, that does not mean you must be lonely. God can use your singleness to build His kingdom. You can use your gifts and abilities to serve God and people. You can get involved in a small group and build friendships. You can volunteer and serve in new and exciting ways. You can look to God to meet your needs of acceptance, significance and security. God may be calling you to something bigger, something that can last for eternity.

The end of Romans 12:2 says that “God’s will is good, pleasing and perfect.” Because His will is good and perfect, it should be accepted, adapted to, and embraced. Whatever your situation is, God can use you.

Story Update

Here is an addition to the story about the family we helped move last Friday. They mentioned they would like some cats for the kids and to help with mice outside. Jennifer Troyer is in my small group and she is a volunteer leader at the Cat’s N Us group in Dover.

John & Jennifer and their children met with this family and helped them adopt 3 cats from the shelter. Our group is also looking at other ways we can be a blessing to this family.

Here are some pictures:




A Moving Experience

On Friday night a group of guys from NewPointe Community Church helped a family move. I was part of a group of 7 guys. Three of them are in my small group (John Troyer, Casey Miller and Darryl Kurtz), one was in my old small group (Todd Kandel and his son Nick) and one I went to Mississippi with in the Fall (Mike Young). Thanks a bunch guys!

I had gotten a call from a lady that needed to move from New Philadelphia to Newcomerstown. She told me she had 5 kids and needed a bigger place. I was also able to give her a little food and introduce her to some other people at church. After calling around this group of guys agreed to help. We had 5 pickups a trailer and a large box truck.

I have helped quite a few people move over the last few years and it is always an interesting experience.

People are often surprised that a group would want to help without expecting anything in return. You also get to know these families, because you are in their homes and get to talk with them as you move.

I came to find out that two families had been living in this small apartment in New Phila. The lady I talked to with her husband and five kids and another woman with two small children. All between the ages of 15 months and 9 years old. All packed in a two bedroom apartment. Both of these families had lived at the homeless shelter for a while before getting into this apartment.

I got to spend some time talking with the second woman with the two children. She shared some of her background and challenges she has faced. As we talked my heart went out to these two families. They are trying, yet have made some bad decisions over the years and are paying the consequences. I try very hard not to be judgemental or critical. I simply listened to her story and tried to encourage her to return to God and build that relationship up again. She is facing a surgery next week to remove a kidney and is already concerned more about her children than herself. I think it helped her just to have someone to talk to about the many things she was facing. I was able to pray with her and we also prayed as a group in their new home in Newcomerstown.

These are real people facing real challenges and I hope our group was able to bless them and turn them toward God. When a church comes together and takes the time to help those less fortunate it send a message to the community. Word has gotten around that we are a generous church. I hope more people that call NewPointe Community Church their home church get involved with service projects.

We plan on following up with them and sending them notes of encouragement and stuff for the children. I don’t know what God is up to, but I want to be available to impact and influence people by serving them and praying with them.

How about you and your small group. When was the last time you helped someone as a group? I know many of our small groups have adopted needy families and are serving them throughout the year. That is real ministry, getting your hands dirty and getting involved in peoples lives. I think that is the kind of stuff Jesus would have been involved in.

Influence

I met with a friend of mine on Friday afternoon. He wanted to share with me that he was having a conflict in a relationship because of differing beliefs. His friend has a different worldview of who God is and how we can relate to Him. She believes that everyone will eventually make it to heaven and that other religions pray to and worship the same God he does.

My friend was struggling with this and had tried to point her to Jesus and the Bible. He felt like he wasn’t getting anywhere though. I told him to not force it. God does the work of drawing people to Him. I told him to pray for her and give her some resources like a Bible that is easy to read and understand, a series from NewPointe Community Church called “Reality Check” and maybe a book like “A Case for Christ” by Lee Strobel.

The exciting thing to me is that his friend is listening and searching for truth. I believe when someone sincerely want to find truth, God draws them to Jesus, because Jesus is truth. I told my friend that he has influence with her and can be an encouragement or a stumbling block for her.

Sometimes we can come on too strong and try too hard to convince someone we are right. Instead we need to share truth in a loving way. Not judgemental or holier than thou. My friend really cares about this person and that is why he is so concerned about her understanding. If he can be patient and pray diligently for her, God will draw her in and open her eyes to the real truth.

So, who do you have influence with? Who are you praying for and reaching out to? If you don’t have anyone, start asking God to bring a person into your life that you can invest in. Make yourself available to be used by God. He may use you to draw someone closer to Him. Pray for open doors in your life and see what happens.