Fitness

Physical fitness and spiritual fitness go hand in hand. Both are highly beneficial, but difficult to achieve. Most everyone wants to eat right and exercise to have a healthy, strong body. Most everyone wants a close intimate relationship with God and the inner peace that comes from that. Why don’t we do it?

This is what God has laid on my heart lately. I need to develop some better physical fitness routines and spiritual fitness routines. I have some people that are going to hold me accountable over the next 90 days to work at improving the health of my physical heart and my spiritual heart.

How does this happen? Well for me it was a decision I made. I basically said. “OK God I’m ready”. This is the journey He is taking me on. I know that for me to go to a new level of spiritual leadership I need to develop some new habits and eliminate some old habits. Anytime I feel stuck it is usually because I have gotten comfortable in a routine or rut.

To get unstuck physically, emotionally or spiritually you first need to make a decision to change.

Then you need to find your motivation. Why do you want to lose weight, exercise, read your Bible or pray? Is it because other people want you to do that or because it is something you should do, or is because you desire to change and grow and be a better example to everyone around you. Finding your motivation is critical to the long term success of improved fitness.

Once you find your motivation to make the change then you need to find some people to hold you accountable and to go on the journey with you. Developing new routines and habits is hard work and it really helps to have people asking how you are doing. It also helps to have someone to encourage you when you don’t want to go exercise or read or eat healthy.

Once you have your accountability in place, you need to develop a strategy and some practical goals. That is the stage I am in right now. The next step is to start, don’t wait until everything feels right. You need to start making changes today – Are you ready?

Irrational Beliefs

Do you have any irrational beliefs? Did you know that irrational beliefs, cause us to make irrational decisions, which lead to bad consequences and often much pain. When we come to the choices of life, our beliefs really direct what choice we make. If your beliefs are off or irrational, you will go with what you believe, which often leads to bondage.

If you believe you are worthless, unworthy, dumb or ugly, your decisions will line up with that belief. Many of these irrational beliefs have been planted in us from an early age. As we grow up these lies have been ingrained into us to the point that we really believe them. Things about ourselves, the world, relationships, money, sex, and even God.

Rational emotional behavior is vital to a healthy person. When you are faced with an event that is causing you to make a decision, your beliefs guide that decision. Consequences follow that decision. An emotionally healthy person will dispute irrational beliefs, with truth, which leads to effective beliefs that lead to better decisions.

We need to dispute our irrational negative thinking, by seeking truth. We need to doubt the doubts that we often have. We need to take thoughts captive and let truth set us free from irrational beliefs and behavior. The only way to do that is to fill our mind with truth. The Bible is filled with truth, about how to live life. Truth about money, sex, work, relationships, marriage, serving, loving, giving.

We have been looking at lies that Satan wants us to believe over the past several weeks at NewPointe. Things like, God can’t be trusted, I can’t change who I am, Sure it’s sin, but I can get away with it. Or this one – God can’t use me.

God uses imperfect people, messed up people. Doubt the irrational beliefs that come into your mind. Those thoughts and beliefs are not from God. Start seeking truth with all your heart today.

Cleaning out the Garage

On Thursday my wife and I cleaned out our garage, in preparation for a garage sale next week. The first thing we did was take everything out of the garage. We took everything out into our driveway, we then took everything off the shelves and put it on the floor. Next we began to clean the shelves and then each item that was on the shelf. We then used a vacuum cleaner on the corners of the garage and the walls throughout the garage and then scrubbed the floor.

One of my jobs was to clean every item we took out of the garage. We then had to make the decision about what items we wanted to put back in the garage. We ended up throwing some things out. Things that were broken or of no use to us. Other things we put on a pile to sell.

This was a long and dirty process and it made us tired. However it was needed in order to bring order and organization to our garage. It also gave us a sense of satisfaction that we had completed this task and it made more room for the important stuff.

You may be in need of some intense emotional housecleaning as well. The attic, the basement, a closet and the garage of your heart may be crammed with clutter from the past. You may be overflowing with emotional debris.

Often times we don’t notice our mess for years. We accumulate stuff and put it in a corner. We accumulate emotional garbage during our childhood and have added to it every year as we grow older. When you get married, you tend to combine your junk. This can lead to all kinds of relational problems.

If you don’t have regular times of cleaning house, this stuff gets out of control. We find it hard to move around, because there is so much clutter. This can be a big daunting task to take everything out and either clean it up, throw it out or put it back in it right place. However, if you don’t start to do this, it only gets worse.

Sometimes we need some help getting things cleaned up. Getting wise counsel, meeting with a mentor or a coach, can be a huge help. Asking God to help is vital, He will take all our junk, just like the garbage man took ours.

So what room in your heart needs cleaned out? What junk do you need to throw out? What needs to be cleaned and scrubbed? Start today, you will be glad you did. What a great feeling it is to have a clean garage.

Truth

I was reading today and came across this line, “Don’t hide from the truth you need to hear.”

This guys was talking about feedback at work and even going to the doctor or dentist. It resonated with me because I was that guy. Often times I would hide from the truth I needed to hear. I knew areas I am weak in and struggle with at work and personally. I knew I needed to get a physical, yet avoided making an appointment.

About three years ago I got a heath screening and was shocked at the results. At the age of 36 they told me to go see my doctor right away. I had high cholesterol, high blood sugar, very low good cholesterol, was overweight and my blood pressure was not good. Needless to say, that truth got my attention. I began the long process of change in my physical health. You could say that the truth I was hiding from found me and shook me up. Well, three years later my cholesterol is down almost 100 points, my good cholesterol has more than doubled, my sugar is way down and my blood pressure is right on. I have lost weight and am exercising regularly. I have changed the way I eat and exercise and my perspective on health and food has changed.

All that made me think about other truth that we hide from. The Bible says that the truth will set you free. To be set free we need to face the truth and not hide. Adam & Eve hid from God after they sinned in the garden of Eden. We too, often try to hide from God when we sin or fall short. We look at some of our behavior and think, I can’t change, that is just how I am. We keep doing the same things over and over again and feel worse and worse after we do it. We usually only change after the truth shakes us up. To find out the truth maybe you need to ask for some feedback from those closest to you.

When was the last time you asked your spouse how you could be a better husband or wife? When was the last time you asked a friend the truth about yourself? When was the last time you felt God telling you to surrender that certain thing to Him? When was the last time you heard a message at church that hit you between the eyes? When truth hits us, it can sometimes bounce off of us. We can feel conviction, but not change. We know we should follow through, yet we don’t put into action what we know will be good for us. To really change you must make a decision that you want to change and that you will get the help you need to change.

You see I did not lose weight and get healthy by myself. I had my wife helping me, I had a coach I met with and a program I followed. If you want to change spiritually or emotionally, you must do the same thing. You need people around you to support and encourage you; to challenge and motivate you; to hold you accountable and push you. The Bible is full of truth for us to follow. When we apply those truths to our lives we grow, change, influence and impact people. When we take truth and put into into action we begin to change. Our perspective about God and other people begins to change. We start seeing things differently.

What truth are you hiding from? Is it the truth about money, possessions and work? How about relationships and marriage, or being single? What about the truth about our hearts or what we put into our minds? It may be the truth about eternal life or even physical health. Most people say they are searching for truth and want truth, yet most of us hide from the truth we need to hear.

Have you heard the phrase to speak the truth in love. When we know something is true, we are to speak it, not to hurt or destroy, but to lovingly help. Don’t think about speaking truth to someone unless you have built a bridge with that person. Otherwise they are not going to want to hear it from you. First build the relationship and trust, then wait for God to open the door to share whatever truth will help that person. If you want to be healthy spiritually, emotionally and physically you need to apply the truth from God’s Word to your everyday life. It starts with the little things that we know we should do. Build on that day by day and don’t procrastinate about things you know you need to face. Ask others for feedback on how they think you need to change, and don’t get offended when they are honest. Remember that only when the truth shakes you up do you begin to really change.

Resolving Conflict

Everyone has conflict at one time or another. If you are married, you probably have a good bit of conflict. If you don’t, then there might be something wrong with your relationship. Maybe you are still in the “in-love” stage of your relationship. Maybe you just ignore it and pretend everything is just fine.

It does not matter if you are single or married, conflict happens at work, with friends, at school, at church and with neighbors. So if we all experience this from time to time, how do you resolve it?

Resolving conflict is something you learn as you grow up. Unfortunately many of us did not have good role models to learn from. All parents make mistakes and we tend to pick up some of the same bad habits our parents had. Some people ignore conflict and deny it is happening, others get loud and yell, others simply shut down or leave. Maybe you had a great role model and have mastered conflict resolution. If so, you can stop reading.

In my experience most conflict comes from either a misunderstanding, a lack of information/unclear expectation or hurtful language. So if you would like to reduce your conflict, start using words of encouragement more, share information openly and frequently and make sure you are clearly communicating your message (Think before you speak).

One of the best things you can do to resolve conflict is to listen. Often in a conflict situation we get defensive and don’t really listen to the other person. If you stop and try to fully understand what the other person is trying to say it often helps to diffuse the situation. A simple exercise that can help in this area is called “having the floor”. Only the person with the “floor” may speak. The speaker must be brief, so the listener can paraphrase. The speaker must not be accusatory or mind read. The speaker needs to avoid beginning sentences with “you”. The listener paraphrases only what they thought they heard the speaker say (without comment, even if they disagree, responding with statements such as “I hear you saying…”). The listener may ask questions or seek clarification while the speaker still has the floor, but may not respond until the floor is passed to them. The floor then changes hands and the listener becomes the speaker. You might want to use an object like a pen to represent the floor.

This simple exercise causes you to slow down and listen, which often helps to communicate much better. If people feel like you are at least listening to them and trying to understand, it helps to resolve the conflict. You can focus in on what the issue really is. Was it a misunderstanding, maybe an unclear expectation or a lack of information. In those cases you can talk it out and get it resolved. You can even agree to disagree at this point, but you are talking and moving forward.

When hurtful language starts flying or maybe a sarcastic tone is used, there is usually an underlying problem. Usually a core fear has been triggered. What I mean by a core fear, is that we all have these inner fears, things like a fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of being inadequate, or a fear of being judged or humiliated. When these inner fears are touched by a situation or words, our emotions flare up. We often get defensive and try to make it stop, usually by trying to change the other person. We will say or do something to try to get the other person to stop hurting you, often by hurting them. You see that person as both your problem and your solution. This is the “fear dance” and it doesn’t get you anywhere, it only causes more damage and more conflict.

To stop the fear dance you have to stop hurting back when you get hurt. You have to take personal responsibility for your actions and words. Someone has to stop and listen and try to understand. Start asking questions and explore why the other person got so defensive or why you got so defensive. What inner fear has been tapped? You can’t control what the other person says or does, but you can control what you do and say. By not letting a conflict situation get out of control or escalate you have a much better chance of resolving it.

Resolving conflict starts with each one of us. It means having the courage to admit when we are wrong and ask for forgiveness. It means extending forgiveness to others. It means having some difficult conversations and being clear about your feelings and thoughts. It means taking the time to try to understand the other persons point of view. Resolving conflict helps us to grow emotionally. It is also a time of spiritual growth because we can look to God for the strength, wisdom and courage we need to work on the relationships in our lives.

Sometimes you need a cooling off period before you have the talk. You simply need to let the other person know that you need 30 minutes to cool off and then you will talk. During that 30 minutes ask yourself why you got so mad? What made you go off or feel so hurt. Spend a few minutes in prayer and ask God to reveal what needs to change in you. If you focus on the behavior of the other person and how that behavior made you feel, it will help the other person understand better. When you use words that accuse and attack the other person will not want to try to understand. When you are ready to talk don’t wait, make the call or call the meeting. The longer you procrastinate the worse it will eat at you and the more damage it will do to the relationship.

Resolve away.

The Refrigerator

This weekend my wife cleaned out the refrigerator. I don’t know about you but sometimes we leave stuff in there longer than we should. She found a dish that she knew had been in there a while. When we opened the container we were amazed at what we saw. Here is a picture for your enjoyment.

I have seen many kinds of mold, but not hair. I thought about putting some on my head, but quickly changed my mind.

As I thought about this amazing hairy growth, it made me think about how many of us don’t regularly take the time to clean out our personal “refrigerators”. Many of us have hurts, habits and hangups that get stuck away in a corner of our heart and we try to forget about it. Unfortunately, they don’t just stay there, they begin to grow and become pretty ugly if they are not thrown out or dealt with.

If we neglect the deep emotional and spiritual issues locked away in those corners of our hearts they can grow into something that stinks up the entire place. It can cause us to do things we normally would not do, and say things we normally would not say. These neglected “containers” can cause relational damage, emotional damage and keep you from growing in your relationship with Jesus Christ.

Are there things in your “refrigerator” that are causing you to be angry, unforgiving, sarcastic, greedy, jealous, depressed, anxious, or maybe full of pride?

So my question today is what stuff do you have growing in your heart that you don’t want in there? Do you need to start 2008 by cleaning our your refrigerator?

Loving Well

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about about what it means to be healthy emotionally, spiritually and physically. We talk and hear a lot about getting healthy physically, but how healthy are we emotionally or spiritually? We diet, exercise and think about our health, but often do nothing to grow more healthy in our emotions or to grow in our spiritual journey. I think that a lot of our physical problems come from being unhealthy emotionally and spiritually.

As a follower of Christ I want to be healthy in all three areas.

Some people have not grown into adulthood in their emotions or their relationship with God. What does that mean? It means that they do not love very well. They haven’t been growing deeper and wider in their love for God and other people. They are stuck emotionally. Many times it is because they have been hurt and have not worked through that hurt. The deeper the hurt the deeper the emotional damage.

Many of us tend to focus on ourselves and our own needs and wants. As a result many of our relationships suffer and get damaged. We tend to not handle conflict very well and we often try to bury the hurts we have experienced only to find those hurts coming out in our relationships.

Here are some questions I have been asking myself, as I try to become more healthy emotionally and spiritually:

How can I be quick to hear and slow to speak?
How can I be angry and not sin?
How can I watch my heart above all else?
How can I speak the truth in love?
How can I be a true peacemaker?
How can I mourn?
How can I not bear false witness against my neighbor?
How can I get rid of all bitterness, rage, and envy?
How can I forgive?

Those questions reveal Biblical truths that should be evident in our lives. I happen to believe that God loves me unconditionally, and He wants me to love Him and other people like He loves me. If you want to review what love is, read 1Corinthians 13.

Loving well requires us to grow more intimate with God which leads to being able to love people better. God made us for relationships, both with Him and other people. We cannot live fulfilling lives in isolation. That means taking risks with God and people and allowing them into your heart.

If we do not love well, we cannot use our gifts and abilities to further God’s kingdom. All that we have to give is worthless unless we love well. Jesus said that everything goes back to loving God with all your heart, soul and mind and loving other people as much as yourself.

I think we all have some stuff to work on.