{"id":1048,"date":"2012-08-31T15:12:38","date_gmt":"2012-08-31T15:12:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/chadstutzman.net\/?p=1048"},"modified":"2012-08-31T15:12:38","modified_gmt":"2012-08-31T15:12:38","slug":"asking-for-forgiveness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chadstutzman.com\/?p=1048","title":{"rendered":"Asking For Forgiveness"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

How we ask for forgiveness is critical.\u00a0 I don’t know of any relationship that has lasted very long that has not had to practice forgiveness.\u00a0 This is the key ingredient that makes all the difference.\u00a0 Unhealthy relationships lack true forgiveness.\u00a0 Old problems and conflict are brought up on a regular basis and used to hurt the other person.\u00a0 I will be writing several posts in the coming weeks on this idea of forgiveness.<\/p>\n

If I accidentally spill a cup of coffee on you, I have not sinned against you, so I do not need to ask for forgiveness.\u00a0 But I should apologize for what I have done.\u00a0 On the other hand, if I throw a cup of coffee in your face, I have sinned against you.\u00a0 I need to ask you to forgive me.<\/p>\n

So, is an apology the same as asking for forgiveness?\u00a0 No.\u00a0 The right way to go about asking for forgiveness is to first name the specific sin, and then explicitly asking the person for forgiveness:\u00a0 “I was wrong for yelling at you and using that language with you.\u00a0 Will you forgive me?”\u00a0 I named the sin and asked for forgiveness.\u00a0 If I would have said, “I am sorry for yelling at you,” and stop there, the typical response from the offended person is, “Oh that’s okay,”\u00a0 or “it’s no big deal.”\u00a0 What has happened there is the offender has not admitted to sinning against the other person.\u00a0 Secondly, the offended person has lied by minimizing the sin.\u00a0 It is not okay for someone to sin against another person.\u00a0 This is not the way to healthy relationships.<\/p>\n

So the key is recognizing and admitting when we sin against another person.\u00a0 When you admit your mistake openly and ask for forgiveness for that offense it now puts it into the other persons court to make a decision.\u00a0 Either I choose to forgive that person or not.\u00a0 I may not be ready in that moment to forgive if it was a deep hurt or has been a long term thing.\u00a0 I should consider if the person is trustworthy and sincere.\u00a0 Even if they are not totally sincere or trustworthy, it is still my decision to hold onto the hurt or release it by forgiving the person.\u00a0 Unforgiveness is the root of most anger issues and will destroy your relationships.\u00a0 Choosing to forgive is the beginning of healing and wholeness.<\/p>\n

Next time I will talk about why we don’t forgive.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

  How we ask for forgiveness is critical.\u00a0 I don’t know of any relationship that has lasted very long that has not had to practice forgiveness.\u00a0 This is the key ingredient that makes all the difference.\u00a0 Unhealthy relationships lack true forgiveness.\u00a0 Old problems and conflict are brought up on a regular basis and used to … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “Asking For Forgiveness”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,8,12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1048","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-emotional-health","category-marriage","category-relationships"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadstutzman.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1048","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadstutzman.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadstutzman.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadstutzman.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadstutzman.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1048"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/chadstutzman.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1048\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadstutzman.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1048"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadstutzman.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1048"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadstutzman.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1048"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}