{"id":1319,"date":"2013-11-27T16:12:20","date_gmt":"2013-11-27T16:12:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/chadstutzman.net\/?p=1319"},"modified":"2023-03-30T13:42:33","modified_gmt":"2023-03-30T13:42:33","slug":"the-one-thing-that-will-improve-all-your-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chadstutzman.com\/?p=1319","title":{"rendered":"The One Thing That Will Improve All Your Relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\">Relationships can be messy, difficult and yet incredibly rewarding.<br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;\"><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\">There are many things that go into a healthy, vibrant relationship like marriage.\u00a0 But I believe there is one vital ingredient to a long-lasting, healthy relationship: <strong>Patience.<\/strong><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\">In Galatians 5:22 &#8211; as part of the fruit of the Spirit we find patience: <em>&#8220;love, joy, peace, <strong>patience<\/strong>, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law&#8221;.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\">Then in 1 Corinthians 13:4 &#8211; &#8220;<em>Love is patient&#8230;&#8221;<\/em>\u00a0 The author Paul is talking about the true meaning of loving someone well and he starts with patience.\u00a0 In Galatians he is talking about evidence in our lives that we are growing spiritually, and right in the middle is patience.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;\"><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\">So let&#8217;s take a closer look at patience:<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 30px;\"><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\"><em>Patience is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble or suffering, without getting angry or upset.\u00a0<\/em> <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"text-align: left;\"><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\">Wow, that is impossible, but incredibly powerful.\u00a0 Imagine if you could do that on a consistent basis.\u00a0 Your life would be less stressful, you would be healthier and your influence with other people would go up.\u00a0 So how do you do that?<br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<ul type=\"disc\">\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l6 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;\"><b><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\">Remind yourself that things take time.<\/span><\/b><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\"> People who are impatient are people who insist on getting things done <i>now<\/i> and don&#8217;t like to waste time. However, some things just can&#8217;t be rushed. You have very little control over much in life.\u00a0 You can choose to be patient though.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul type=\"disc\">\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l4 level1 lfo2; tab-stops: list .5in;\"><b><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\">Think about your happiest memories.<\/span><\/b><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\"> Chances are, they were instances when your patience paid off, like when you worked steadily toward a goal that wasn&#8217;t immediately gratifying, or took a little extra time to spend leisurely with a loved one. Would you have those memories if you had been impatient? Probably not.<\/span><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\">\u00a0 <\/span><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\">Good things may not always come to those who wait, but most good things that do come don&#8217;t happen right away.<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l4 level1 lfo2; tab-stops: list .5in;\"><b><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\">Remember what matters.<\/span><\/b><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\"> Not focusing on what matters most in this life fuels impatience. Being kind, generous in forgiveness of others, being grateful for what is, and taking full advantage of what matters most helps you to be more patient. In other words don&#8217;t sweat the small stuff.<br \/>\n<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul type=\"disc\">\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo3; tab-stops: list .5in;\"><b><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\">Work on having a positive outlook in life &#8211;<\/span><\/b><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\"> Being positive is imperative to possessing a sense of patience. Believing the best about a person helps you be more patient and loving.\u00a0 Remember that relationships are not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.\u00a0 If your naturally negative it will take more work to be patient, but it can change your life.<br \/>\n<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul type=\"disc\">\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo4; tab-stops: list .5in;\"><b><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\">Expect the unexpected.<\/span><\/b><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\"> Yes, you have plans, but things don&#8217;t always work out as planned. Accept the twist and turns in life gracefully. Keep your expectations realistic. This applies not only to circumstances, but also the behavior of those around you. <\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul type=\"disc\">\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l8 level1 lfo5; tab-stops: list .5in;\"><b><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\">Stop holding yourself and the world around you to unattainable standards.<\/span><\/b><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\"> Sure, we&#8217;d all be more patient if he would always listen, she would stop complaining, traffic flowed smoothly, and people didn&#8217;t make stupid decisions &#8211; but that&#8217;s never going to happen. Expecting the world to run smoothly is like beating your head against the wall. Give yourself and others a break!<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; text-align: center;\" align=\"center\"><b><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\">The Benefits of Developing Patience<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n<ol start=\"1\" type=\"1\">\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l5 level1 lfo6; tab-stops: list .5in;\"><b><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\">Reduces stress levels and makes you a happier, healthier person.<\/span><\/b><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\">\u00a0 When you learn and practice patience you don&#8217;t get as stressed or overwhelmed. You are more in control of your emotions and in a better position to deal with difficult situations with ease and poise.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<ol start=\"2\" type=\"1\">\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l3 level1 lfo7; tab-stops: list .5in;\"><b><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\">Results in better decision-making\u00a0 <\/span><\/b><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\">When you&#8217;re patient you take the time to assess the situation, see the big picture, and weigh any pros and cons. The chances of making a big mistake lessen because you avoid making it in haste. Taking the time to problem solve and work out our conflicts requires patience and deliberation. <\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<ol start=\"3\" type=\"1\">\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo8; tab-stops: list .5in;\"><b><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\">Helps develop understanding, empathy and compassion.\u00a0 <\/span><\/b><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\">You are automatically more understanding and compassionate with others when you yourself are patient. Patient people take the time to process what they go through and are able to determine what it takes to overcome obstacles so they are more understanding of others. This results in better, more fulfilling relationships with spouses, friends, children and bosses. <\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<ol start=\"4\" type=\"1\">\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l9 level1 lfo9; tab-stops: list .5in;\"><b><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\">Helps you understand and appreciate the process of growth.\u00a0 <\/span><\/b><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\">As mentioned earlier anything worthwhile takes time and effort to achieve.\u00a0 Planning, growth, evaluation and measurement all take time, and taking time takes patience. Just like a gardener has to be patient for things in the garden to grow, so we need to be patient with the people around us.<br \/>\n<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; margin-left: .5in; text-align: center;\" align=\"center\"><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\">\u00a0<\/span><b><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-font-kerning: 18.0pt;\">Tips on How to Develop Patience<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n<ol start=\"1\" type=\"1\">\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l7 level1 lfo10; tab-stops: list .5in;\"><b><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\">Take a day where you make patience your goal for the entire day.\u00a0 <\/span><\/b><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\">Make a concerted effort to take your time and think about everything you do, be mindful and live in the moment<\/span><span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\">. <\/span><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\"><span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">\u00a0<\/span>At the end of the day, observe all the ways in which you&#8217;ve made smarter decisions, got along better with others and actually understood what took place. Learn to do it on a daily basis. Developing patience is much like physical exercise because it requires persistence and effort. <\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l7 level1 lfo10; tab-stops: list .5in;\"><b><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\">Slow down.\u00a0 <\/span><\/b><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\">If you have the tendency to rush around and try to hurry things up, want things done immediately and can&#8217;t wait for things to take their natural course, STOP. Take several deep breaths before you act or make a move. For example, if you&#8217;re in a long lineup at the grocery store or in heavy traffic, make the decision to pause and not get worked up. Talk to God, listen to the radio, or just enjoy the view. Getting impatient won&#8217;t make things move along any faster, so why get worked up for nothing? <br style=\"mso-special-character: line-break;\" \/><\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l7 level1 lfo10; tab-stops: list .5in;\"><b><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\">Practice delaying gratification.\u00a0 <\/span><\/b><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\">Instead of escaping to your familiar thing like watching TV, working out, reading, shopping, drinking or eating, work on the real issues and resolve conflict first.<br \/>\n<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l7 level1 lfo10; tab-stops: list .5in;\"><b><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\">Practice thinking before you speak.\u00a0 <\/span><\/b><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';\">At times we blurt out the first thought that comes into our heads without considering the consequences. If we&#8217;re patient, pause and go over what we want to say, we can avoid hurting or offending others. <\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>None of this is possible on a consistent basis without including God.\u00a0 On our own we will fall short every time, yet we can plug into the power of God.\u00a0 So in those moments when you do not want to be patient, a quick prayer asking for help can change everything.<\/p>\n<p>One last thing, when someone is mistreating you or abusing you, patience should only apply with how you respond.\u00a0 Not responding in a way that fuels the fire.\u00a0 You should never simply take abuse.\u00a0 Setting boundaries and consequences is important in those situations.\u00a0 If your in an abusive relationship go get help and set clear boundaries.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Relationships can be messy, difficult and yet incredibly rewarding. There are many things that go into a healthy, vibrant relationship like marriage.\u00a0 But I believe there is one vital ingredient to a long-lasting, healthy relationship: Patience. In Galatians 5:22 &#8211; as part of the fruit of the Spirit we find patience: &#8220;love, joy, peace, patience, &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/chadstutzman.com\/?p=1319\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;The One Thing That Will Improve All Your Relationships&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,3,8,10,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1319","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-character","category-emotional-health","category-marriage","category-personal-growth","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadstutzman.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1319","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadstutzman.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadstutzman.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadstutzman.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadstutzman.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1319"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/chadstutzman.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1319\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1963,"href":"https:\/\/chadstutzman.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1319\/revisions\/1963"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadstutzman.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1319"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadstutzman.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1319"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadstutzman.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1319"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}