{"id":756,"date":"2011-09-26T00:05:59","date_gmt":"2011-09-26T00:05:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/chadstutzman.net\/?p=756"},"modified":"2022-05-11T19:51:33","modified_gmt":"2022-05-11T19:51:33","slug":"5-mistakes-women-make-in-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chadstutzman.com\/?p=756","title":{"rendered":"5 Mistakes Women Make in Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"

My last post was about the mistakes a lot of the guys make in their marriage.\u00a0 That was easy for me to write about as I am one of those guys.\u00a0 Writing about mistakes women make in marriage is a little more challenging.\u00a0 This comes from years of counseling couples and listening to their frustrations and problems.\u00a0 Just like my post about the guys, I am sure there are other things that could be mentioned, but let’s start with these five for now.\u00a0 These are similar to the mistakes that men make.<\/p>\n

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  1. Loving your husband conditionally<\/strong> – This is what I call performance based love.\u00a0 When the man performs a certain way or does what is expected, the wife tends to show love and respect.\u00a0 The real test of love is when that is not happening.\u00a0 When expectations are not met and his behavior is not what you want, do you love him less?\u00a0 Maybe you wouldn’t say you love him less, but does your response and behavior communicate that to him or does it communicate that when he straightens up then you will show him some love?<\/li>\n
  2. Not making sex a priority – <\/strong>Just like the men, women can make the mistake of thinking that men should approach intimacy the same as them.\u00a0 Men are not as emotional as women and therefore most guys don’t connect emotionally very well.\u00a0 For most men the thought of intimacy means sex.\u00a0 Physical intimacy is how most men feel close to their wives.\u00a0 Without that type of intimacy they can feel unloved.\u00a0 It may be enough for you to talk, hug and kiss, but for most guys that just gets the engine running.\u00a0 Talk with your husband about sex and see what happens.\u00a0 Life can be very busy and hectic, and it can be hard to have time for the two of you to be intimate, but if you don’t it’s a big mistake.<\/li>\n
  3. Forgetting how to be your husbands friend – <\/strong>One of the things I have observed in many marriages is that they are no longer best friends.\u00a0 Most guys desire their wives to be their best friends.\u00a0 That means doing fun stuff together, hanging out, going out to eat and being able to talk about what is going on in their lives.\u00a0 Find something you can do together to have fun and relieve stress.\u00a0 Go back to the days when you were dating.\u00a0 When you acted like you were interested in sports or cars or his work.\u00a0 When you did that it made him feel important and that he was sharing his life with you.\u00a0 He needs you to be his friend, not his mother.<\/li>\n
  4. \u00a0Not encouraging your husband – <\/strong>Most men crave encouragement.\u00a0 The way you speak to your husband will say a lot about your relationship.\u00a0 When you encourage your man, he feels respected, which is even more important to him than love.\u00a0 Encouragement can come through words either spoken or in writing.\u00a0 It can also just be simple body language that communicates to him that you are proud of him and think that he is doing a great job.\u00a0 Being there for him in the important moments of his life whether that is at work or with one of his hobbies.\u00a0 So when was the last time you encouraged your husband in a positive way?<\/li>\n
  5. Not being clear in your communication – <\/strong>Men and women think differently, see things differently, hear things differently and communicate differently.\u00a0 One of the mistakes some women make is to expect their man to pick up on what is going on in your life.\u00a0 Most guys are not that observant.\u00a0 It really helps when you clearly state why you are upset or what you would like us to do.\u00a0 Hinting about it is very frustrating for most men.\u00a0 Most men are pretty simple and when communication becomes complicated they tend to shut down.\u00a0 The more clear you communicate, the fewer misunderstandings tend to happen.\u00a0 You also need to be aware of your nonverbal communication.\u00a0 You might be saying something but communicating another because of your tone of voice and facial expressions.\u00a0 So understand your own communication style and his and make any adjustments necessary.\u00a0 If communication is a big problem in your marriage, I recommend you get some help.\u00a0 Go get help from a mentor or counselor.\u00a0 I recommend you don’t demand he go with you, but let him know you would like him to go if he wants to, but that you want to go to try to improve yourself so you can be a better wife.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    I hope some of those thoughts were helpful.\u00a0 My last thought is this.\u00a0 Don’t make the mistake of not building spiritual intimacy with your husband.\u00a0 It may only be you praying for him in the beginning, but that can be very powerful.\u00a0 Remember you can’t change him, you can only change yourself.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    My last post was about the mistakes a lot of the guys make in their marriage.\u00a0 That was easy for me to write about as I am one of those guys.\u00a0 Writing about mistakes women make in marriage is a little more challenging.\u00a0 This comes from years of counseling couples and listening to their frustrations … <\/p>\n

    Continue reading “5 Mistakes Women Make in Marriage”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-756","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-marriage","category-relationships"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadstutzman.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/756","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadstutzman.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadstutzman.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadstutzman.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadstutzman.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=756"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chadstutzman.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/756\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1923,"href":"https:\/\/chadstutzman.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/756\/revisions\/1923"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadstutzman.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=756"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadstutzman.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=756"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadstutzman.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=756"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}