Love in Action

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I’ve been thinking and studying this idea of love.  I have to say that I need to work on this area of my life.  I think most people would say they can do a better job of loving others.  But for most of us we don’t know what that looks like.  I work at a church so what I look to in order to learn and grow is God’s Word.  I was reading this today and it really struck me and challenged me.  I hope it does the same for you.  This is found in Romans 12:9-21 in the New Century Version of the Bible:

9 Your love must be real. Hate what is evil, and hold on to what is good. 10 Love each other like brothers and sisters. Give each other more honor than you want for yourselves. 11 Do not be lazy but work hard, serving the Lord with all your heart. 12 Be joyful because you have hope. Be patient when trouble comes, and pray at all times. 13 Share with God’s people who need help. Bring strangers in need into your homes.

14 Wish good for those who harm you; wish them well and do not curse them. 15 Be happy with those who are happy, and be sad with those who are sad. 16 Live in peace with each other. Do not be proud, but make friends with those who seem unimportant. Do not think how smart you are.

17 If someone does wrong to you, do not pay him back by doing wrong to him. Try to do what everyone thinks is right. 18 Do your best to live in peace with everyone. 19 My friends, do not try to punish others when they wrong you, but wait for God to punish them with his anger. It is written: “I will punish those who do wrong; I will repay them,”[a] says the Lord. 20 But you should do this:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him a drink.
Doing this will be like pouring burning coals on his head.” Proverbs 25:21–22

21 Do not let evil defeat you, but defeat evil by doing good.

Just that first sentence, your love must be real is enough for me today.  You can’t fake love.

Love is all about doing and taking action.  It’s about how we think about ourselves, others and God.  The best way we can worship God is by loving others well.

 

The Six Core Competencies of an Effective Leader

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There are many competencies that are needed to be effective and just having these 6 does not mean you don’t have or need others.  I have identified 17 that I try to work on and develop in myself.  However, these six are the ones that I have identified as critical for leaders to have for long-lasting, high level leadership success.

The best leaders are people that work on developing themselves.  This takes self-awareness to know what skills they need to work on to go to a new level of leadership.  It’s similar in marriage or parenting, taking responsibility for yourself and working on your own issues and building on your strengths leads to better relationships.

I am a campus pastor for a church that currently has five campuses.  I have been with this church for over thirteen years and previous to that I was a manager in the business of banking and accounting for 15 years.  These competencies are important for mid-level to executive level leaders.  I have tried to define each in practical ways so that you can evaluate yourself on how you are doing with that particular competency.

Here they are:

Accountability

  • Defines objectives and strategies to meet customer/member requirements and organizational goals and objectives.
  • Manages performance to achieve expected results.
  • Keeps informed of performance through face-to-face meetings, written communications, analytical reports, and performance measures.
  • Keeps supervisor informed of progress, issues, and potential problems.
  • Maintains a cost/effective balance of controls and risk-taking to ensure effective and efficient operation within budget.
  • Identifies and addresses areas of weakness that may affect organizational performance.
  • Freely shares information with team members and superiors
  • Takes full responsibility for results.

Building Trust

  • Communicates an understanding of the other person’s interests, needs and concerns.
  • Makes and meets commitments that contribute to addressing the other person’s interests, needs, and concerns.
  • Takes time to get to know people and genuinely cares about them.
  • Identifies and communicates shared interests and goals.
  • Identifies and communicates differences as appropriate.
  • Addresses perceived harm to the other person by fully acknowledging any harm done, clarifying intentions, and finding a suitable remedy that affirms the value of the relationship.
  • Is quick to admit mistakes and errors. 
  • Asks for and gives forgiveness.
  • Uses a win-win approach to resolving conflicts or conducting negotiations.
  • Develops, maintains, and strengthens partnerships with others inside or outside the organization who can provide information, assistance, and support.
  • Demonstrates honesty, keeps commitments and behaves in a consistent manner.
  • Shares thoughts, feelings, and rationale so that others understand personal positions.
  • Remains open to others’ ideas and opinions even when they conflict with their own.

Developing/Coaching Others

  • Clarifies responsibilities, authority, and expectations.
  • Provides timely guidance and feedback to help staff accomplish a task or solve a problem.
  • Provides guidance in how to strengthen knowledge and skills to improve personal and organizational performance.
  • Provides new assignments and experiences to develop the employee’s capability.
  • Communicates clearly & effectively and develops subordinates.
  • Conducts performance appraisal and feedback on a regular basis.
  • Provides helpful, behaviorally specific feedback to others.
  • Works with employee behavior problems.
  • Shares information, advice, and suggestions to help others to be more successful.
  • Gives people assignments that will help develop their abilities.
  • Regularly meets with employees/leaders to review their development progress.
  • Recognizes and reinforces people’s developmental efforts and improvements.
  • Expresses confidence in others’ ability to be successful.
  • Helps others learn new systems, processes, or programs.
  • Collaboratively works with direct reports to set meaningful performance objectives and then holds them accountable.

Emotional Intelligence

  • Demonstrates an ability to control and filter emotions in a constructive way.
  • Exhibits consideration of the feelings of others when/before taking action.
  • Demonstrates recognition of the various psychological and emotional needs of people.
  • Expresses feelings clearly and directly.
  • Understands ones own fears and unhealthy emotions
  • Is willing to get help when needed.
  • Exhibits humility and persistence.
  • Balances feelings with reason, logic, and reality.
  • Demonstrates an appreciation of the differences in how others feel about things.

Establishing Focus/Setting Direction

  • Acts to align own campus/department goals with the strategic direction of the organization.
  • Ensures that people in the campus/department understand how their work relates to the organization’s mission.
  • Ensures that everyone understands and identifies with the overall mission and values.
  • Ensures that the campus/department develops goals and a plan to help fulfill the organization’s mission.
  • Uses effective techniques to define outcomes and expectations.
  • Clearly identifies the target and then sets objectives to focus on.
  • Sets goals for self, campus/department and expects the same from all direct reports.
  • Reviews those goals and objectives in regular one-on-one meetings with direct reports.

Interpersonal Skills

  • Considers and responds appropriately to the needs, feelings, and capabilities of different situations.
  • Relates well with others.
  • Maintains confidentiality.
  • Is likeable and approachable.
  • Communicates in a clear way.
  • Demonstrates consistency and fairness.
  • Anticipates and resolves confrontations, disagreements, and complaints in a win-win way.
  • Is tactful, compassionate and sensitive, and treats others with respect
  • Provides timely and honest feedback in a constructive and non-threatening way.
  • Listens with the intent of trying to understand before being understood.

Lead On

 

 

Leadership Lids

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LEADERSHIP LIDS

Every leader has lids on his life.  The issue is never whether you have lids.  The issue is what you are going to do about them.

Lids that limited us:

 

 

  • Fear
  • Impatience
  • Denial
  • Impulsiveness
  • Deceit
  • Jealousy
  • Anger

 

 

Most of these have to do with character.  If you are more concerned about keeping up appearances than cleaning up your character these lids can limit you.

Lids that did not limit us:

 

  • Family
  • Leaders
  • Background
  • Youthfulness
  • Inexperience

 

What lids exist in your life? 

 

What character flaws do you have?

 

What is your attitude toward those lids?

 

Are you taking responsibility for lifting them?

Are you willing to allow someone else help you lift them

Three Things Great Leaders Do

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For the past 15 years I have been focused on growing myself and others in faith, character and leadership.  Those three areas of my life are guiding lights for how I approach life.  I have made a lot of mistakes over those years, yet I keep coming back to those three things.

As I reflect on leadership here are three things I believe we must be committed to in order to lead well.  Whether you are a parent, spouse, employee, employer, student, teacher, athlete, coach, artist, musician, or just a friend, you are a leader.  If you have influence with anyone else then you are a leader.

Leading is not easy, because in order to lead you need to have influence.  In order to have influence you need to have a vision of where you want to go or the way you want things to be.  If you want to increase your influence and leadership in this next year then these are some things you will need to do:

  1. Leadership means you are willing to get uncomfortable – In order to grow you have to get out of your comfortable surroundings and stretch yourself.  When was the last time you did something that made you sweat?  Where you felt you were out of your element and in new air.  It is in those moments that we grow, stretch and discover new ground in our leadership.  It’s where we can learn from mistakes and expand our perspective.
  2. Leadership also means you should be dissatisfied with where things are at – As a leader you need to be pushing for improvement, a better way, greater things.  You should be dissatisfied about how the world is, how people are treated.  Don’t get me wrong you also need to be content with what you have and be thankful for the many blessings you have in your life.  But you also need a passion to see things better than they are today.
  3. Leadership is also about disruption – A leader should never be satisfied with the status quo.  You don’t change things just to change them you change things to improve and get to a higher, better place.  It starts with leading yourself and disrupting your habits and negative patterns.  It’s saying no some good things in order to get the best things.  It pushing for what is right and best for the world around you.

The best leaders do all of this with humility and persistence.

So what are you doing to get uncomfortable?  What are you dissatisfied about?  What do you need to disrupt in your life or the lives of those you lead?  That is how Jesus leads us.  When he wants us to grow he brings discomfort, dissatisfaction and disruption.  Jesus is the greatest leader ever, so let’s follow his example.  If you don’t believe me just read about him in the Bible.  Lead On.

Keys to Excellence

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My first job was pumping gas, servicing cars and repairing tires at a local gas station.  That’s were I learned how to make change without a cash register and how to fix a flat tire.  My second job was at a local meat packing company.  I was the clean up guy and had to dismantle and clean all the machines they used to process meat.  That is where I learned how to have a system and follow a process in cleaning the plant.  I also learned how to work alone and to not cut corners.  I learned that people were counting on me to do my job so that they can do their job when they showed up in the morning.

My next job was at a local cheese manufacturing and retail business.  I learned a lot working there, things like retail sales strategies, inventory control and customer service.  I learned how to cut cheese samples and set up displays.  I even got into some construction by helping to remodel an apartment for one of the children of the owner.  During that time I got to interact with subcontractors and did work like drywall, floor tile, and general construction.  I learned about working hard and doing it right the first time.

Soon after that I went to college and then started my career in banking.  I started as an internal auditor for a Savings & Loan in Wooster Ohio.  That was my first exposure to corporate America.  I learned to pay attention to detail as I had to audit every area of the company and make sure everything added up.  I also learned how to set goals and work on projects and be a team player.  I learned how to manage my time and finish what I started.  I also learned how to cut costs and work within a budget.  I learned how to show respect to my boss and follow direction.

My next job was at a local community bank as a loan officer.  I was in my early 20’s and this was my first job where I got to directly interact with customers.  I learned a lot about finances, balance sheets, financial statements and tax returns.  I learned about risk and how to manage that.  I learned how to read people and their character.  I learned about customer service and how to win over potential new customers.  I learned how to serve customers and make them want to continue to do business with us.  I was promoted quickly to a branch manager and did all kinds of lending.  I continued to learn about management, customer service, lending, community service and economic development.  I developed a passion for developing leadership skills in myself and others.

After 12 years in the banking industry I transitioned into the accounting world with a regional accounting firm.  They created a new department for me to run which focused on enhancing profits and adding value to their clients.  I did a lot of training in customer service, leadership, management and strategic planning.  I learned how to interact with business owners and CEO’s.  I learned how to win friends and influence people.  I learned how to lead groups of business people and do public speaking and presentations.  I got even more involved in community organizations and public relations.  I learned about marketing and sales and what it takes to run a business.

Then I took all that I had had learned in all of those jobs and went to work at a local church.  Those experiences have helped to shape me into the leader I am today.  The things I learned in the workplace have helped me to lead the local church and continue to influence people and impact our community.  Here are some of the things I believe are vital to leading with excellence no matter where you are:

  • Value excellence and don’t settle for average
  • Pay attention to details and finish what you start
  • Remain committed to what really matters, keep first things first.
  • Display integrity and sound ethics because people are always watching
  • Show genuine respect for the people around you
  • Go the second mile, take the initiative if something needs to be done, don’t wait to be told.
  • Be clear when you communicate
  • Listen and then listen some more
  • Be consistent, show up and do your job well
  • Never stop improving or growing
  • Be flexible and open to new ideas and other ways to get things done.
  • Empower the people around you and mentor and coach them
  • Always give 100%

Leadership is all about influence and we are either gaining or declining in our influence.  There are a lot of things that are out of our control, but the way in which you work and lead is within your control.  So no matter where you are working, what are you learning and how are you growing.

Unexpected Words From God

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Last week I attended a Night of Worship at the Dover campus of NewPointe Community Church.  I am a pastor at one of the other campuses, so it was nice for me to just be a regular guy attending and worshiping.  I have to admit I went to see if I could get some ideas on how to make our worship event better the following week.  As I got there and walked in I connected with a few people I know, but was pretty anonymous and slipped into a seat about a third of the way up.  As the music started I sang, prayed and even raised my hands throughout the evening.  I was also critiquing some of what was happening, making note of things I would do differently and things that I liked.

Then God did something unexpected.  I don’t remember the exact time during the service or what song we were singing, but I heard God say “Don’t Eat!”  I have to admit I was a little startled and confused.  I asked God if that was from Him and if I heard him right.  I heard it again “Don’t Eat!”  That same morning in the church service I sat in on at my campus our senior pastor had mentioned the idea of Fasting as a spiritual discipline.  I have fasted before with other people and by myself.  I have given up TV, sports, coffee, food, meat and movies.  Yet this time was different because God was telling me not to eat.

So I didn’t eat any food for the next three days.  Each day I talked to God and when I asked if I could eat I heard “not yet”.  During those three days, I was hungry and even felt some hunger pains.  Yet each time I thought about being hungry I immediately connected with God and talked to Him.  I felt such an inner peace and strength that seemed to get stronger each day.  This three day fast reminded me how much I take food for granted.  I don’t have to wonder where or when my next meal will come from.  I can eat anytime I want and eat anything I want.  Yet I am not all that grateful for what I have.

It’s the same way spiritually.  God is with us all the time, we can talk to him anytime and ask for anything.  Yet too often we take that for granted and only turn to him when things go wrong or we need something.  Those three days of eating reminded me that I need God 24/7.  That when I am connected to him the temptations are less powerful, the way I respond to things is much better and I make better decisions.

Psalm 63:1 says “God you are my God.  I search for you.  I thirst for you like someone in a dry, empty land where there is no water.”  When I read that I had to admit that I do not pursue God like I would pursue water if I had none.  Am I really hungry for God, desperate to know him more and more?

Jesus said this in Mathew 5:6 “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.”

When push comes to shove, what is most important to me?  What takes priority?

God doesn’t need people to evangelize the earth, do missions projects or give away millions of dollars.  He looks for people who will worship him in spirit and truth.  Not just on Sunday mornings or whenever our day of rest is.  God wants people who will worship him in the way they live.  God made us to worship and every day we worship something.

When I hunger and thirst for God and seek him with all my heart, I get a glimpse of how much he loves me.  As I grow, I understand a little bit better the depth of that love.  God’s love for me never changes, yet as I change and grow, I get a clearer perspective of God, the world around me and the people in it.

That all came as a result of hearing two words from God and then obeying him.  What would happen if we would listen to God all the time and really trust him with everything?  What would happen if we did what he told us to do?  What if we would follow his commands and live our lives fully surrendered to him?

On Thursday morning I woke up and knew I could eat again.  The granola with Almond milk tasted better than ever before.  I was grateful for the food I had in the house and once again my mind turned to God and his provision and care for me.   I had a good day with my wife and got some time to rest and relax.

Then on Saturday something happened that I almost missed.  It’s easy to just write things off as weird or a coincidence. I was bored and was flipping through the television, looking to escape into a movie or something entertaining before the Buckeyes came on that evening.  We all know that there are lots of unwholesome things on television and I can get drawn into movies or shows that have too much sex, violence and bad language in them them.  As I was searching, the smoke detector in the room beside be would beep from time to time.  I thought that was odd, but dismissed it because I figured it just needed new batteries.  I ended up watching a movie that was not the best choice.

I told my wife afterward about the smoke detector and as I was telling her I realized the smoke detector is hard wired and does not use batteries.  It has not beeped since then.  Then it hit me, was God warning me, trying to get my attention and help me avoid temptations.  Then this verse came to my mind in 1 Corinthians 10:13: “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man.  And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” 

I wish I had that power I felt when I was fasting all the time.  If only I had paid closer attention to that warning, I could have fed my mind with something much better.  I don’t always turn to God even when he is right in front of me.  I guess that is the human side of us, yet God’s love never changes and he sees me as his beloved son even when I miss the way he gives me to escape temptations.

I am excited about what God is doing in me and who he wants me to become.  The more I seek him and hunger after him the more he can use me to impact and influence other people.  The more I listen and pay attention and then obey what he is telling me the more fruitful my life will become.  We are all in process and when we allow God to drive and we trust him amazing things can happen.

Four Ways to Devlop Your Character & Succeed in Life

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Here are four ways develop your character:

  1. Never let life’s difficulties surprise you – hardship, disappointments and struggles are inevitable.  Bad things happen because this is not heaven.  However, they are the rule, not the exceptions of life.  So the important thing is to make sure your expectations are realistic and not idealistic.  When hardships come you will be better prepared to respond in a way that helps instead of hurts.
  2. Keep a positive perspective – Your perspective depends on what your focus is on.  When you focus on problems and your current situation you will tend to be more negative, fearful and hurt.  When you focus on your faith, character, integrity, loving God and other people, you will tend to be much more positive and joyful no matter what is happening around you.
  3. When you face challenges, pray first – Pray for help, pray for protection, pray for wisdom, pray for strength, pray for God to intervene.  Keep your prayers short, specific and spontaneous.  Pray throughout the day, before you have the conversation, before you walk in the door and before you let your emotions take over.
  4. Be humble enough to allow accountability in your life – None of us is totally self-sufficient.  You will grow more when you allow some people to get close enough to you to really know you, not just on the surface.  Pride will keep you from admitting your weaknesses, asking for help and making changes in your life.  A humble person is a strong person, a self-aware person, and a person others want to be around.  If you don’t have anyone you can open up to start asking God to help make that happen.

Developing your character takes courage to face your strongholds, habits and hang-ups.  It’s hard to do but the rewards are huge.  Lead on.

Feeling Stuck in Your Faith?

 

 

man-stuck-in-box-no-controlOne of the promises in the Bible is found in Joshua 1:5 “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”  Author Graham Cooke talks about this promise in his booklet called Drawing Close: See God’s Face and be Changed Forever.  He says this:

“God likes to hide-in fact He invented the game Hide & Seek.  In certain seasons, He will reveal Himself to us; in others, He will hide from us.  God only hides because He wants to teach us to look for Him.  We all want Him to be manifest in our lives, all the time, but God sometimes wants to hide and draw us deeper into his presence.  If God is hiding from us-but He also promised never to leave nor forsake us-we can extrapolate one thing: God is hiding in plain sight, teaching us to look for Him in a different way.  God is unpredictable but completely consistent.  We always know where we are with God because He never changes, but we seldom know what He’s going to do next.  Go will push us into places where we are not equipped to be.  To survive and flourish there, we have but one choice: Seek God in a place of rest.  Let Him carry us forward.  God hasn’t called us to do the reasonable, the possible or the attainable.  He has called us to do the outrageously impossible.”

That challenged me in a fresh way today as I read it.  When God feels distant and we feel alone, we aren’t.  He is right there in plain site patiently waiting for us to discover Him in a different way.  He is constantly active in our lives, whether He is pushing us into a place we are not equipped to be or patiently waiting for us to open our eyes.

I love the thought that God hides so that we can seek Him and find Him in a fresh way.  To me this speaks of being active in my faith.  Not staying comfortably inside my box but pushing forward through barriers and obstacles.  I love that last line about God not calling us to the reasonable, the possible or the attainable but the outrageously impossible.  It’s only then that we can say Only God could have made that happen.  Those are the times that we grow the most and our faith is increased.

If you are feeling stuck in your faith maybe it’s time to look for God in a different way.  Start praying and asking God to show you that new way and then pay attention and be ready to get out of your box.

Are You A Servant Leader?

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Leadership is one of those things that people have a lot of opinions about.  There are a lot of books, articles, podcasts and teaching about leadership.  Yet this idea of servant leadership is still difficult for many people in our culture to grasp.  It does not come naturally to most leaders and cannot be implemented simply by studying the ideas.  Most leaders really grasp these concepts of leadership when they have a belief and personal relationship with the ultimate leader of all time Jesus Christ.  Serving others as a leader is no simple, easy task; yet this style of leadership builds great organizations, teams and families.

In 1977 Robert Greenleaf coined this term and wrote a lot about it.  Since then many others have addressed this radically different style of leadership.  Larry C. Spears wrote about ten characteristics of a servant leader and John Barbuto Jr and David Wheeler added one more characteristic in their article entitled Becoming A Servant Leader: Do You Have What It Takes?  These characteristics describe servant leadership and are a great lesson for all leaders to look to if we want to improve our influence and effectiveness.

So here they are:

  • ·      Having a Calling
  • ·      Listening
  • ·      Empathy
  • ·      Healing
  • ·      Awareness
  • ·      Persuasion
  • ·      Conceptualization
  • ·      Foresight
  • ·      Stewardship
  • ·      Growth
  • ·      Building Community

Calling – Do people believe that you are willing to sacrifice self- interest for the good of the group? Servant leaders have a natural desire to serve others. This notion of having a calling to serve is deeply rooted and value-based. Servant leaders have a desire to make a difference for other people and will pursue opportunities to impact others’ lives — never for their own gain. A servant leader is willing to sacrifice self-interests for the sake of others. This characteristic cannot be taught, so unless a person has a natural calling to serve, servant leadership is not a realistic or compatible style.

Listening – Do people believe that you want to hear their ideas and will value them? Servant leaders are excellent listeners. They are receptive and genuinely interested in the views and input of others. People instinctively understand that servant leaders want them to share their ideas and that these ideas will be valued. Listening is a skill that can be learned and is essential for those who desire to be a servant leader. Without good listening skills, many of the other characteristics described in this publication cannot be achieved.

Empathy – Do people believe that you will understand what is happening in their lives and how it affects them? Servant leaders can “walk in others’ shoes.” They understand and empathize with others’ circumstances and problems. Leaders who are empathetic have earned confidence from others by understanding whatever situation is being faced. This characteristic is a skill that comes more naturally to some people than others, but it is pertinent for all who aspire to be a servant leader.

Healing – Do people come to you when the chips are down or when something traumatic has happened in their lives? Servant leaders are people who others want to approach when something traumatic has happened. They have developed a remarkable appreciation for the emotional health and spirit of others. They are good at facilitating the healing process and others gravitate toward them when emotional needs arise. The ability to create an environment that encourages emotional mending is crucial for those who want to become great servant leaders.

Awareness – Do others believe you have a strong awareness for what is going on? Servant leaders have a keen sense for what is happening around them. They are always looking for cues from the environment to inform their opinions and decisions. They know what’s going on and will rarely be fooled by appearances. This skill is crucial to the development of servant leaders.

Persuasion – Do others follow your requests because they want to or because they believe they “have to?” Servant leaders seek to convince others to do things rather than relying on formal authority. They are naturally very persuasive and offer compelling reasons when they make requests. They never force others to do things. This ability is important for servant leaders to develop.

Conceptualization – Do others communicate their ideas and vision for the organization when you are around? Servant leaders nurture the ability to conceptualize the world, events and possibilities. They encourage others to dream great dreams and avoid getting bogged down by day-to-day realities and operations. They foster an environment that encourages thinking big and valuing the creative process. Those who want to be great servant leaders must develop an environment that fosters conceptualization.

Foresight – Do others have confidence in your ability to anticipate the future and its consequences? Servant leaders have an uncanny ability to anticipate future events. This is not to say they are psychic or always right, but they are adept at picking up patterns in the environment and seeing what the future will bring. They usually anticipate consequences of decisions with great accuracy. Those who want to be successful servant leaders need to have and develop this foresight.

Stewardship – Do others believe you are preparing the organization to make a positive difference in the world? Servant leaders often are characterized by a strong sense of stewardship. Stewardship stems from medieval times when a steward would be assigned to hone the skills and development of the young prince to prepare him for his reign. The kingdom relied on the steward to teach and hold the prince in trust so that he would be a successful king. Today the term stewardship involves many of the same things. A steward in an organization is responsible for preparing it for its destiny, usually for the betterment of society. When we describe a leader as having a strong sense of stewardship, we refer to a desire to prepare the organization to contribute to the greater good of society — not unlike preparing the prince to serve the greater good of the kingdom. Making a positive difference in the future is characteristic of the stewardship mentality. Those who desire to be excellent servant leaders need to have a natural sense of stewardship. If you don’t naturally have a stewardship perspective, it is unlikely that the servant leadership style will come naturally to you.

Growth – Do people believe that you are committed to helping them develop and grow? Servant leaders have a strong commitment to the growth of people. They believe that all people have something to offer beyond their tangible contributions. Servant leaders work hard to help people in a number of ways — spiritually, professionally, personally. Those who want to be great servant leaders need to connect to others’ developmental needs and actively find ways to meet these needs.

Building Community – Do people feel a strong sense of community in the organization that you lead? Servant leaders have a strong sense of community spirit and work hard to foster it in an organization. They believe that an organization needs to function as a community. A servant leader instills a sense of community spirit in the workplace. Those who want to be great servant leaders need to work hard to build community in the organization.

Servant Leadership Development

Servant leadership is characterized by a belief that leadership development is an on-going, life-long learning process. For this reason, servant leaders commit to continual development in the 11 characteristics of servant leadership. Some characteristics come more naturally to some people than to others. By their nature, characteristics such as calling, empathy, healing and stewardship are more difficult to learn and develop than other servant leadership characteristics.

These are characteristics that leaders must already have to be successful servant leaders. Characteristics such as listening, awareness, persuasion, conceptualization, foresight, growth and building community all are learnable skills, so servant leaders can continually develop these. I encourage you to reflect and thoughtfully assess the degree to which you have what it takes to be a servant leader. If you are committed to being the best servant leader that you can be, I urge you to continuously work to develop these characteristics.

 

 

 

 

A Word to Husbands

Relationships are hard and messy and most men are not good at developing healthy relationships.  Once we get married it is easy to sit back and focus on our work and providing financially or focusing on our own needs.  Most guys, myself included are selfish and we are not always thinking about how to love our wives or lead our household.

Peter talks about this in one of his letters that is part of the Bible.  Peter talks a lot about submission, respect, blessing and honor.  This is not only in marriage relationships but in all relationships.  He writes this after having spent a significant amount of time with Jesus.  After observing how Jesus treated other people he was able to write about how we should treat our bosses, our political leaders and our spouses.

I want to zero in on his comments to husbands.  in 1 Peter 3:7 he is talking to husbands, I like the Message version of the Bible which says “Be good husbands to your wives. Honor them, delight in them. As women they lack some of your advantages. But in the new life of God’s grace, you’re equals. Treat your wives, then, as equals so your prayers don’t run aground.”

He is calling husbands to live with their wives in an understanding way. We are to honor our wives and model submission and service. We are to initiate blessing, rather than retaliate when things go wrong.  Men are called to be spiritual leaders and that means we take responsibility for the health of our relationships.  This means we set the tone and we initiate what we want others to do.  Don’t wait for her to start treating you with respect before you make an effort to love and respect her.

The way we treat our wives will affect our spiritual health. It starts with us and how we respond to our wives.  The words we use, the things that we do, the time that we take, and the way that we listen.

Peter sums this up by saying this “Be agreeable, be sympathetic, be loving, be compassionate, be humble. That goes for all of you, no exceptions. No retaliation. No sharp-tongued sarcasm. Instead, bless-that’s your job, to bless. you’ll be a blessing and also get a blessing.”

Now I realize that we won’t always get it right and we will mess up.  We will do selfish things and say stupid things, but in order to love our wives we must keep pushing forward, trying to understand our wives and treat them as a precious gift.  Being humble means asking for and giving forgiveness on a regular basis.  The key is to not give up, keep trying to learn how to love your wife better, learn from your mistakes and above all else keep growing closer to God.  Only God can help you to love your wife the way you should.