Thoughts on Character

Character cannot be developed through good resolutions and checklists.  It usually requires a lot of hard work, a little pain and years of faithfulness before any virtues are consistently noticeable in us.  Some people want to develop character quickly, but that does not work. When we move fast we often stumble and fall and only learn and change when the pain is too much for us.  That is why you cannot teach someone to be ethical. You can give them guidelines and ideas, but people tend to do what they know, and if you don’t know Jesus Christ and His teaching it is difficult to always be ethical.

What is character?

Character is the inward motivation to do what is right according to the highest standards of behavior in every situation.

Character consists of the stable and distinctive qualities built into an individual’s life which determine his or her responses, regardless of the circumstances.

Character is the wise response to the pressure of a difficult situation and what we do when we think that no one is watching.  It is the predictor of good behavior.

Character is translated in Scripture as “the express image”.  Originally it denoted an engraver or engraving tool. Later it meant the impression itself, usually something engraved, cut in or stamped.  In Hebrews 1:3 Christ is referred to as the “express image” of God.

WHY is character important?

  1. Character reveals the Lord Jesus Christ, since He is the full personification of all good character qualities.
  2. Understanding character explains why things happen to us, because all things work together for good to conform us to the character of Christ.
  3. Knowing precise character qualities gives us the basis for praising the character of God and others.

Character gives you the strength to practice a purposeful life.  It is a choice we make each day. We all have a purpose in life and certain abilities, passion and relationships.  Character gives us strength to make the tough choices in life. 

Basic Needs we all have…

God made us with needs, and God promised to meet those needs.

“And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19

Paul is telling us that God is willing and able to meet all of our needs. It also acknowledges that we all have needs as human beings

Neediness is a characteristic of our God-given identities.

Physical needs:

  • Food
  • Water
  • Sleep
  • Oxygen

Spiritual needs:

  • To experience God’s love
  • To experience God’s forgiveness
  • To experience God’s peace
  • Only God Moments

Here are the Top Ten Relational Needs:

  • Acceptance
  • Affection
  • Appreciation
  • Approval
  • Attention
  • Comfort
  • Encouragement
  • Respect
  • Security
  • Support

These needs are the same for anyone, no matter where your from, no matter how young or old you are.

It’s OK to have needs, it doesn’t mean your weak.  When we understand our needs, it humbles us and builds our character.

Only God and other people can meet our needs.  Why did God create us this way?

  1. Our neediness Encourages us to depend on God and look to him to meet our needs
  2. Our neediness encourages interdependence – We are not robots, we have feelings and emotions and our neediness requires us to have healthy human relationships. We are here to serve one another.
  3. Accepting the reality of our needs helps us to develop a heart filled with compassion for others
  4. Admitting our needs frees us to receive and give care.
  5. Meeting the needs of others expresses care and produces unity in the body of Christ

My question for you is this.  Of the top ten relational needs listed above, which three are most important to you and which three are most important to your spouse or significant person in your life?  If you can figure that out and then communicate clearly to each other about it, your relationship will begin to improve.  You can control whether or not you are meeting these needs with others, you cannot control whether others will meet your needs.  However, if you are loving and serving the other person the likelihood of them meeting your needs goes way up.  If you’re too needy, that pushes everyone away from you.  You have to first meet the needs of others and show that you can do it in a healthy way.

One of the ways we can love and serve other people is by being aware of these basic needs in the people we are loving and serving. When we are able to meet some of these needs in others they feel loved and served.