Today I spent time talking with four different men about marriage and relationship problems. All of these guys are struggling with their marriages. One just finalized his divorce, another has a divorce pending and the other two are trying to make it work.
Why is marriage so hard? I know there are many more out there that are having significant problems in their marriage. The statistics show that nearly half of all marriages end in divorce. It really doesn’t make much difference if you are a Christian or not. The rate of divorce is just as high.
So what is going on and how can you divorce proof your marriage?
Here are a few free thoughts:
* Start with a good foundation. Couples that go through a pre-marital mentoring program reduce their risk of divorce by nearly 75%. A good mentoring program will help to bring to the surface issues that you have not talked about or that you are in disagreement over. It allows you to think about and talk about these differences before you get married. It helps you to understand what it takes to make a marriage work by spending time with a healthy married couple. It is life buying insurance for your marriage.
* If you’re already married and having some difficulties, invest in your marriage. We spend a lot of money on our homes, cars, clothes and other stuff. Why not spend some money on your marriage. Some ways to do that are going to a marriage retreat or seminar, you can buy a book on marriage and read it together, you can go see a Christian counselor, you can buy Cd’s or DVDs about marriage. My point is that you need to invest time and money, if you want your marriage to improve.
* Get involved in a small group. Life change happens best in a small group environment. Find a group of other couples that you can connect with, pray with and learn from. You could also do a women’s group or men’s group to build friendships and have some accountability. When we are struggling we often think we are the only ones and we tend to isolate ourselves. In a small group you soon find out that no one has it all together. You can encourage each other and care for each other.
* The most significant thing you can do to divorce proof your marriage is to pray together. The statics show that couples that pray together on a regular basis reduce their risk of divorce by over 90%. Wow, I learned that from a DVD training I have been studying and it really blew me away. Most Christian couples do not pray together. When you pray with each other it builds spiritual intimacy and helps you become one flesh.
How do you start praying together? One simple thing you can do is to hold hands and pray silently for each other or for whatever is going on in your lives and then squeeze each others hand when you are done. Simple, safe and a great way to strengthen your marriage.
* Another simple and effective way to improve your marriage is to read the book of Proverbs together. Read one chapter a day for 31 days and meet to talk about what you are reading either every day or at least every three days. If you do that diligently you will see a drastic improvement in your marriage.
If you work as hard on your marriage relationship as you do your work or hobbies you will see significant improvement in a short period of time.