What did you say?

Most people that I talk to would say they are above average as a driver, above average on sense of humor and above average on listening. I must say that I would say that about myself as well.

The fact is that most of people are not good listeners. I won’t get into the driving and sense of humor thing.

As a leader, listening is a vital characteristic for success. Unfortunately many leader’s are terrible listeners. They are often thinking about what to say next themselves, or how to respond back. I see this often in marriage relationships and in parenting as well. By the way, if you are married or a parent, you are definitely a leader. Spouses and parents that do a poor job of listening usually leads to conflict and damage to the relationships.

If you want to improve your leadership at home and at work, focus on improving your listening skills this week. Here are some conclusions about good listening:

  1. Understanding people comes before leading them
  2. You learn the most by listening
  3. Listening can keep problems from escalating
  4. Listening establishes trust
  5. Listening can improve all your relationships
  6. Listening to understand helps avoid misunderstandings
  7. Listening shows you care.

Try to be a focused listener the next time you are in a meeting or talking with someone you love.

  • Repeat back to the person speaking what you heard them say.
  • Maintain good eye contact.
  • Ask questions to help you understand and clarify what was said.
  • Take some notes of what is being said.
  • Pay attention to the non-verbals like tone of voice and facial expressions.
  • Seek out the thoughts, opinions, and feelings of others.
  • Listen 80% of the time and talk 20% of the time.

If you can do that on a consistent basis, you will see drastic improvements in your relationships and in your leadership.

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