Anger

Anger is an emotion that all of us have had to deal with. It may have been growing up in your home with an angry parent. Maybe you have had an angry boss or co-worker. Maybe it was a friend or a relative. It may have been you ex-wife or ex-husband. It also was you and me. Everyone experiences some degree of anger in our lives.

The more I talk to people the more I am seeing this as an emotion that is in most people just under the surface waiting for an opportunity to come out. Nothing is wrong with the emotion of anger per se. What is damaging is how we express anger – for example, in violent actions against another person that causes injury to property or the person.

The Bible has a number of passages that directly deal with anger. In Ephesians 4:26, 27 it says “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” What Paul is saying there is that we need to deal with our anger immediately in a way that builds relationships rather than destroys them. If we nurse our anger, we will give Satan an opportunity to divide us and destroy the relationship.

When we bottle up any emotion it does not die. Emotions that become trapped inside us seek a way to express themselves. That is because emotions like anger were created to be expressed and felt. When we refuse to feel those emotions and express them in healthy ways we risk physical illness, pain, emotional damage, relational damage and psychological problems.

When we bury emotions we are burying a living thing. It would be like pouring water into a bucket. The water is our negative emotions and at some point the water will overflow the bucket and get everything around it wet.

One way to temporarily control anger is to take a time out. When you become angry and are ready to respond in a way that may damage another person emotionally or physically, take a time out. Refocus and collect your thoughts, pray and ask God to help you in that moment not to sin. You can also take several slow deep breaths, which will diffuse your anger. Deep breathing promotes relaxation and reduces stress.

Are you angry with someone right now? What can you do to resolve your issue with that person? Don’t let the day end without starting the process of mending and working on that relationship. The best way to work on your anger is to practice forgiveness. Not just verbally, but through prayer with God involved. Most of the time God also wants us to go to that person and resolve the real issue. The emotional root of anger can be pulled up when you forgive from your heart and share your true feelings in a loving way. You also need to make sure you are dealing with the real issues and not just the stuff on the surface. You may need some help to dig down and figure that out, but it’s worth the digging and the dirt.

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