We talk about intimacy with God a lot around here. Having a close personal relationship with God is our desire for every person that comes to NewPointe.

What about intimacy in our marriages? We all desire to have intimacy with our spouse, but how many couples out there are balanced in their marriage intimacy? And what does that look like? Most guys don’t like that word, because it is touchy feely stuff. We are not comfortable with emotions and feelings. Well guys, if you want a great marriage intimacy is important.

To have balanced intimacy in your marriage you need to address body, soul and spirit. When we think of intimacy in marriage we most often think about physical intimacy. Having a strong sexual relationship is important, but it is only one part of intimacy. If you start here you often miss out on the other two areas completely. Are you attentive to your spouses sexual needs? Are you comfortable communicating your sexual desires and preferences to your spouse? Are you good at sharing appreciation and love verbally? How often do you hold hands, hug, kiss?

You may have heard the phrase “soul mates”. That is talking about emotional intimacy. This dimension is about friendship. Is your spouse your best friend? Do you connect with each other on a deeper emotional level? Do you love to just be together, talking or not? Do you listen beyond just words? Do you freely express your feeling with each other? Can you give each other time alone or with others without feeling jealous? Do you trust each other?

The last dimension and the most important one is spiritual. A spiritual closeness comes from your own personal spiritual growth and relationship with Jesus Christ. Are you both in agreement about your values and beliefs? Do you talk about God and your beliefs? Do you pray together or read Scripture together? Are you in a small group with other Christians? Do you go to church together regularly?

So where are you at in your marriage intimacy? If your like me you have some work to do. Closeness doesn’t just happen because you have the same last name or live under the same roof. Becoming one in marriage involves the freedom to share all of yourself with your spouse – spirit, soul and body. Are you nourishing all three areas?

Remember that balance takes work and perseverance. Your marriage is for a life time, which means a life time of growing and changing together as a team. For better or worse, in sickness and in health til death us do part.

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