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Did you know the word prejudice means “prejudging” or “making an estimate of others without knowing the facts?”  I came across an article by Billy Graham about this topic and thought I would share some of his insight into this topic.  I found this challenging and encouraging.

Graham says this about prejudice:

Prejudice stalks many countries. At times it is prejudice against a racial or religious minority within its boundaries. At times it is prejudice against people from other nations. At times it was prejudice or resentment against those who were wealthier or those who were poorer than the average. But prejudice is a universal problem. Why? One reason is because prejudice has its roots in pride-and pride is at the heart of sin. Just as sin is universal, so prejudice is universal as long as our hearts are untouched by God’s retreating power.

Prejudice is a mark of weakness, not strength; it is a tool of the bigot, but never a device of the true Christian. One of our great problems in this complex age continues to grow since modern man has forsaken the pathway of Christian mercy and understanding-and has chosen to walk the road of intolerance and intrigue.

All of us have personal biases and prejudices. Despite our improved educational system, our prejudices have grown in the past few years-so we can conclude that education is not the cure for all prejudice.

There is only one way we can get rid of prejudice: by the process of spiritual rebirth through Jesus Christ. Only then do we discover Gods love for all humanity, and only then will we begin to look at others through the eyes of God and see them as He sees them. Only then does Gods love begin to take root in our hearts, pushing out the hate and indifference and selfishness that have resided there. In myself I do not have the capacity to love others as I should, but “the fruit of the Spirit is love.”  Yes, Christ can give us a love for others we would never have otherwise, “because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us” (Romans 5:5).

Billy Graham has a way of describing this that makes sense.  Left to ourselves we will never love other people as God intended. We are quick to judge or at least make conclusions about someone before we get to know them. When our hearts start to transform as a result of following Jesus, we begin to think and see differently. Our actions follow and we begin to break the old patterns of prejudice, selfishness and resentment.

Jesus has this to say about this topic: ” Don’t judge other people, or you will be judged. You will be judged in the same way that you judge others, and the amount you give to others will be given to you.”  He goes on to say this: “why do you notice the little piece of dust in your friends eye, but you don’t notice the big piece of wood in your own eye? How can you say to your friend, ‘let me take that little piece of dust out of your eye’? Look at yourself! You still have that big piece of wood in your own eye. You hypocrite! First, take the wood out of your own eye. Then you will se clearly to take the dust out of your friends eye.”

So it’s important to take a closer look at ourselves and work on our own issues before trying to work on someone else or prejudge someone else. It really starts with our own heart being set right before we can try to reach others.  When our hearts are right we see others completely different and therefore how we go about helping others is completely different.

I finished reading Dwight Mason’s book Only God – Change your Story, Change the World.  I happen to know Dwight and have worked with him over the last 15 years.  I loved reading about the stories of his early years as a pastor and the many challenges he faced.  I remember some of those difficult times and some of the big break throughs along the way in building NewPointe Community Church.

Dwight is both humble and persistent and that came through in this book.  The leadership principles he shares are vital to any leader that wants to make a difference in this world.

The book is about how important our story is and how it fits into God’s bigger story.  We are all writing a story and have some control over how that story reads moving forward.

I particularly liked the way he talked about embracing change and the enemies of change.  Life is filled with changes and challenges and how we handle those changes determines much of our story.  There is a lot of action steps after each chapter that helps you put into action what you just read.

Every parent should read the chapter on Helping Your Children Write A Great Story.  It is packed with practical wisdom on how to raise children in a healthy way.

This is a leadership book and yet it is much more than that.  It’s a book about life and living it with an eternal perspective.  Invest in your future by reading this book.  To order your copy today click here

I was recently at a meeting with a group of pastors from my community.  To open the meeting the leader asked us to all read John 2:1-11.  This is the story about Jesus at a wedding where he turns water into wine.  It’s the launching pad for his ministry and it’s his first miracle.  He asked us to read through this and then give feedback on what we noticed.  Part of his motivation was because he was preaching on that Scripture and wanted more ideas.  It was also a great way for us to have some discussion to build some community.

As I read through the story something brand new jumped out at me and has stuck with me over the past several days.  So here is the story:

On the third day a wedding took place at Cana in Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there, and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited tot he wedding. When the wine was gone, Jesus’ mother said to him, “they have no more wine.”  “Dear woman, why do you involve me? Jesus replied. “My time has not yet come.” His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.”  Nearby stood six stone water jars, the kind used by the Jews for ceremonial washing, each holding from twenty to thirty gallons. Jesus said to the servants, “Fill the jars with water”; so they filled them to the brim. Then he told them, “Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet.” They did so, and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine. He did not realize where it had come from, though the servants who had drawn the water knew.  Then he called the bridegroom aside and said. “Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now.” This, the first of his miraculous signs, Jesus performed at Cana in Galilee. He thus revealed his glory, and his disciples put their faith in him.

Jesus was on a mission to change the world and this is the moment he used to launch it.

I never noticed this before, but this entire story is about the servants and Jesus’ disciples. His mother must have been helping with the food and drink for her to know they were out of wine.  She may have been helping prepare and serve people or she knew others who were serving.  She knew this could be a disaster and asked her son for help.  She told the servants to do whatever Jesus told them to do.  I can see her approaching Jesus with his followers around him and explaining the problem. He did not want to get involved, but he saw an opportunity.

Jesus knew that his disciples did not really know him and what he could do.  He saw this as an opportunity to develop the men that would be critical in leading this movement.  He also saw an opportunity to launch his ministry with the servants that where.  No one at the wedding knew that Jesus did this miracle except the servants and his disciples.  How powerful that moment had to be when they drew out the water and saw that it was wine.  Can you imagine the sense of awe and wonder that they had when they realized what Jesus did?

Here are some lessons I took away from reading this amazing story:

• Jesus is always interested in building our faith.  How many of those servants that day became faithful followers of Jesus?

• Jesus is focused on the individuals, the servants and his disciples, not the master of the banquet or the bridegroom.

• Jesus wants to use ordinary people to do extraordinary things.

• When we are obedient, Jesus works in unexpected ways.  The servants could have questioned Jesus or tried to solved this problem by themselves.  Instead they took a risk and followed his instructions without questioning why.

• Jesus can take any situation and do something miraculous.

• Jesus will ask us to do something before a miracle happens.

Can you imagine the conversations that happened after this wedding? The servants, telling their friends and families about this amazing thing that happened.  In a close community like that the word had the spread fast and I am sure it raised a lot of questions.

When the servants and his disciples saw Jesus’ miracle, they believed. The miracle showed his power over nature and revealed the way he would go about his ministry.  He came to serve and help people, He spoke with authority, and He was in personal touch with people. Jesus continues to do this today, using ordinary people to do the extraordinary and changing lives one person at a time.

The Geek Squad is a team of people or geeks that have a high tech IQ.  They work for Best Buy and can fix nearly any electronic device.  I have not had the pleasure of working with one of the geeks, but I have heard good things.  They wear uniforms and drive VW Bugs to the clients homes or businesses.  I came across their Geek Squad Promises and just had to share it.

• I will never violate the trust of my clients or disrespect their property.
• I will never say, ‘I don’t know’. Instead, say ‘I’ll find out’.
• I will always understand that my clients’ time is more valuable than my own.
• I will assume every problem is my fault, unless proven otherwise.
• I will consider my job done only when my client is completely overwhelmed with joy.  And instead of assuming they are happy, I’ll ask them.
• I will keep every promise I make, including this one.

Those are some incredible promises and if followed lead to great customer service and lasting good impressions.  No matter where you work, this kind of a mindset will make you a more valuable team player.  You can even apply this one to your marriage.  So go out and be a Geek!

Anger is a powerful emotion that left unchecked can destroy all your relationships.  It can come on like a flood and wash away any happiness you may have.  Anger leads to unhealthy conflict, it drives other people away and it eats you up inside.  It’s no surprise that anger can be so destructive, because most people have felt the pain associated with anger.  Either on the receiving end or giving it to people we love.

According to Dr. Gary Smalley, anger is not a primary emotion.  It’s a secondary emotion caused by unresolved hurt, frustration, fear, or a combination of these.  When these things stay inside a person the result is anger.  It gets expressed in a variety of ways.  Sometimes there is an explosion of words or even physical violence.  Sometimes it’s the silent treatment and you shut people out.  To deal with anger, you need to get to the root causes.  Dr. Smalley suggests the single root cause is unfulfilled expectations.  When our expectations are blocked or not met it causes hurt, frustration, fear and then anger.

Pent up anger can lead to emotional damage and even physical sickness.  That is why it is so important to deal with it instead of ignoring it.  It won’t go away until the root issues are taken care of.  Dr. Smalley reveals seven steps that you can follow to empty stored up anger:

1. Define the offense in writing – Write down the persons name and what they did and what it took away from you.  Write down the feelings you had when it happened.  Getting it out on paper helps you to see it and to feel it again.  Bringing those emotions to the surface allows healing to begin.
2. Allow yourself to grieve the loss – If you don’t properly grieve the losses in your life, anger is a natural byproduct.  The five stages of grief are: Denial, “This can’t be happening to me” – Anger, “Why me?” – Bargaining – Depression – Acceptance.
3. Try to gain a better understanding of the offender – Did they even know they hurt you? Do they treat everyone that way?  Are they just immature and selfish?  When asking these questions it helps you deal with old hurts.  It helps you have a new perspective on what actually happened and why the other person may have done what they did.  It may just confirm what you already knew as well.
4. Treasure Hunt the offense – In other words look for the good that has come out of the situation.  Maybe it has helped you to be more compassionate to others or motivated you to treat others differently.  When we experience conflict, adversity, frustrations, or offenses they can create hidden treasures.
5. Write a letter (but don’t mail it) – Let it all out in this letter, this is a powerful way to pour out the anger without hurting anyone.  Writing in a journal is also a great way to deal with hurts, frustrations, fears and hangups.  When you’re finished destroy the letter, I like burning it.
6. Release the other person from the hurts they have inflicted and from future expectations – The Hebrew word forgiveness means “to release”.  To truly forgive someone, you must release them from their responsibility for the hurt they have caused you.  Forgiveness is a choice not a feeling.  This releasing of the other person is also a way to release the anger in your life.
7. Reach out – If it is possible reach out to the offender with kindness.  Only do this if there is no threat of physical danger.  This act of reaching out will take great courage, but could be the beginning of a new healthy relationship or simply a washing away of the offense for good.

Don’t let anger take over your insides.  Start to drill down as to why anger keeps popping up in your life.  Go get some help to navigate through the hurts, frustrations and fears from your past.  Look for the good and make the necessary changes in your life, so that anger does not control you.  This is not a once and done kind of exercise, this is a lifelong battle, because life is filled with hurts, frustrations, fear and unmet expectations.  If you want to be healthy on the inside, work hard at forgiveness and having unrealistic expectations.