Category: Personal Growth

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5 Benefits of Volunteering

With most of us leading super busy lives, the idea of volunteering – giving your time and energy to a cause without financial reward – may seem an impossible task. I mean, how can we fit anything else into our already jam-packed schedules? However, volunteering is important for many reasons and doesn’t have to take up too much time. And, in fact, the benefits of volunteering are vast for the volunteer – not just the church, community, individual or organization receiving their assistance.

It was surprising to me to find out that only about 25% of people in America volunteer on a regular basis. For many people the idea of adding one more thing can be overwhelming, but the value it can add to our world and to your own wellbeing is immense.

Jesus said that he did not come to be served but to serve others. Volunteering is important as it offers essential help to worthwhile causes, people in need, and the wider community. It’s a way that we can follow the example of Jesus, and add value to the world around us.

So, what are the benefits of volunteering?

  1. Volunteering helps to give you a sense of purpose. There are many good causes in this world. I am a Christian so volunteering for organizations that have this same belief is important to me. If you are a believer, your local church is a great place to volunteer, because you can help them make a difference in peoples lives by joining what they are doing. There are many faith based organizations that are doing amazing work. When you serve it brings a sense of meaning and purpose, knowing that you are helping to make a positive impact in the lives of other people.
  2. Volunteering is important for physical and mental health. Interestingly, volunteering has distinct health benefits that can boost your mental and – perhaps more surprisingly – physical health. Indeed, a growing body of evidence suggests that people who give their time to others might benefit from lower blood pressure and a longer lifespan. A research study project from Carnegie Mellon University found that adults over 50 who volunteered regularly were less likely to develop high blood pressure (hypertension) compare to non-volunteers. Hypertension is an important indicator of health as it contributes to stroke, heart disease and premature death. Volunteering keeps you in regular contact with others and helps you develop a solid support system, which in turn combats against feelings of loneliness and depression. Human beings are hard-wired to give to others, and by measuring so-called brain activity and happiness hormones, researchers have found that being helpful to others can deliver great pleasure. 
  3. Volunteering connects you with others. If you’re feeling lonely, isolated, or simply want to widen your social circle, volunteering in your local community is an important – and often fun – way to meet new people. In fact, one of the best ways to make new friends and strengthen existing relationships is to commit to a shared activity together, and volunteering lets you do just that. Furthermore, it connects you to people who have common interests and passions and who could go on to become great friends. 
  4. Volunteering allows you to use your gifts and abilities for others. We all have gifts, abilities and talent that God has given us. Using that to help others is so rewarding. It feeds back into that idea of purpose. We are here for a reason, and a big part of that reason is to love and serve other people.
  5. Volunteering helps you forget your own problems. One other benefit of volunteering is that focusing on others can give us a deeper sense of perspective and help distract us from negative thoughts and help stop rumination (focused negative thinking). Volunteering often involves helping those in need and can be useful in showing us that, in fact, our own lives are not as bad as we thought they were. It also reminds us that we are not alone in this world and that all of us can make a difference by simply choosing to volunteer.

Next week I’m leaving to go love and serve with Eight Days Of Hope in Buffalo NY. This is the fifth year of serving in that city. Every year 8DOH goes to a new district within the city and does home repairs on 100 homes. New roofs, porches, windows and doors, painting the exterior, landscaping or small household repairs. They also will revitalize a park or school that is part of that community. This year I’m going with a team of 7 people from my church. We will serve alongside 1,600 other people from all over the country. We will not only work on homes, but we will pray with the homeowners and neighbors. We will share the good news about Jesus with people we come into contact with. We will bring hope and help to an entire community, and we will make new friends and connect with old friends.

I hope you will consider volunteering somewhere on a regular basis. When you make time for that it’s so rewarding, and it helps you to grow, stretch and even get healthier. Take the step of volunteering today.

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Navigating Life’s Storms

Every human being faces heartache, trouble, difficulty. Life Storms so to speak. All of us have either been in a storm, are in a storm or are headed into a storm.

Look at Job 5:7 “Yet man is born to trouble as surely as sparks fly upward.”

Jesus said it this way In Matthew 5:45 “He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.”

Though everyone experiences trouble, we as believers have a very unique kind of trouble. If you are following Jesus, you have an enemy who passionately hates Jesus, therefore you as well.

Three Biblical Principles about Storms

  1. Storms change our comfort.

Acts 27:13-15 NIV When a gentle south wind began to blow, they saw their opportunity; so they weighed anchor and sailed along the shore of Crete. 14 Before very long, a wind of hurricane force, called the Northeaster, swept down from the island. 15 The ship was caught by the storm and could not head into the wind; so we gave way to it and were driven along.”

Storms change our comfort, that’s why we hate them and fear them. We like things just the way they are. Most people love their comfort zone.

But storms always take us out of our comfort zone. Storms bring difficulty, conflict, danger, headwind, it can slow us down and change our direction.

Even though Paul was in the will of God there was still difficulty, danger and a strong headwind.

This is definitely a dangerous, difficult situation that Paul is in but it was needed. Sometimes you and I need to get our comfort challenged.

A physical example is if you don’t exercise and move much you get flabbier and weaker. You might be comfortable but if you don’t add some resistance to challenge your muscles your body changes for the worse.

Sometimes we call this getting into a rut – It can be Physically, Mentally or Spiritually.

When we move and exercise and eat right we feel better, have more energy and are stronger. When you read books and listen to podcasts and messages you exercise your brain, you learn and stretch your thinking and expand your knowledge.

When you exercise spiritually like Praying, reading and studying God’s Word, using your spiritual gifts, listening to the prompting of the Holy Spirit. You grow and deepen your faith.

A rut is when we are used to the things being a certain way and when a storm or a person comes along and disrupts that, when it changes our comfort we freak out.

But could it be that God has something so much better than what you’re experiencing right now? That may be why the storm is coming.

  1. Storms also change your Values.

 Acts 27:16-20 NIV 

“As we passed to the lee of a small island called Cauda, we were hardly able to make the lifeboat secure, 17 so the men hoisted it aboard. Then they passed ropes under the ship itself to hold it together. Because they were afraid they would run aground on the sandbars of Syrtis, they lowered the sea anchor[b] and let the ship be driven along. 18 We took such a violent battering from the storm that the next day they began to throw the cargo overboard. 19 On the third day, they threw the ship’s tackle overboard with their own hands. 20 When neither sun nor stars appeared for many days and the storm continued raging, we finally gave up all hope of being saved.”

Here we see them preparing the ship for this storm, battening down the hatches so to speak. Because of the storm they didn’t know exactly where they were at, or where they were heading. Storms can disorient us and send us on a wild ride.

Fear began to grip them and fear causes us to not think clearly and make quick or rash decisions.

Here they can’t run and hide from the storm so they try to face it but it’s too powerful, they start throwing everything they can overboard to lighten the load.

Their values and priorities changed. All the things on board were less important than surviving. They threw everything they could overboard.

In a storm we should toss out what won’t help us survive. When a storm hits you hard suddenly that paycheck is not as important as you thought it was. 

In a storm we suddenly realize what’s really most important in our lives, and its not stuff, it’s not money and possession, it’s people and our relationship with God.

Granger Smith Story – Country Music Superstar – in 2019 his son River drowned in the family pool. Plunging them into a deep storm. During this storm Granger and his wife Amber find redemption and purpose, they battle through the tragic loss and turn to God – to Jesus for Faith, Hope and Peace.

Granger left his career in Country music and has dedicated the rest of his life to sharing his story and the good news of Jesus Christ in transforming our lives.

Proverbs 11:4 “Wealth is worthless in the day of wrath, but righteousness delivers from death.”

  1. Storms will bring out the best in you or they will bring out the worst in you.

Acts 27:21-25 NIV

“After they had gone a long time without food, Paul stood up before them and said: “Men, you should have taken my advice not to sail from Crete; then you would have spared yourselves this damage and loss. 22 But now I urge you to keep up your courage, because not one of you will be lost; only the ship will be destroyed. 23 Last night an angel of the God to whom I belong and whom I serve stood beside me 24 and said, ‘Do not be afraid, Paul. You must stand trial before Caesar; and God has graciously given you the lives of all who sail with you.’ 25 So keep up your courage, men, for I have faith in God that it will happen just as he told me. 26 Nevertheless, we must run aground on some island.”

Paul tells them here I told you so, not to rub it in, but to urge them to listen to him this time. Paul was taking charge, going from a prisoner on the ship to in essence the captain of the ship.

A good point to make here is that we should all listen to wise godly counsel.

In times of storms we need strong christian leaders to lead. When there is a difficulty and everyone is burned out, paralyzed by fear or panicking a leader arises.

The storm brought out the best in Paul. He shares that the Lord had appeared to him through a messenger and he shares what was told to him.

The metal of a man or a woman is tested in difficulty. If you want to find out who a person is, listen to them, watch them observe them in a trial or difficult time. That’s when a person’s true character is revealed.

Why was Paul able to stay so calm and lead so confidently in the midst of this devastating storm?

Three Anchors that help us through the storms:

  1. The Anchor of our Identity.

“Last night an angel of the God to whom I belong”

Do you belong to Him? Have you given your life to Jesus Christ? If you do belong to God then you have a new identity, you are a child of God, fully adopted into HIs family with full benefits of being a son or daughter of the most high God.

That identity of being in Christ gives you a completely different perspective in trials, difficulties and danger.

If we belong to the Lord God, then we are His responsibility. 

  1. The Anchor of our Service.  Another word we could put there is Worship.

“and whom I serve stood beside me”

Paul is on a mission from God. He knows who he belongs to and he knows why he is still alive. His life is about serving God, Worshiping God with his whole life. Everything Paul did went through the filter of serving and worshiping God.

Paul believed, and we should as well that if we are on my mission from God that he will protect you until you are done with that mission. Paul knew God was calling him to Rome and that he would get there.

Only God knows when our time is up. So keep serving Him, Keep Worshiping Him until that day comes.

  1. The Anchor of our Faith. Or Trust.

“So keep up your courage, men, for I have faith in God that it will happen just as he told me”

Paul trusted God’s Word – Do you completely trust God’s Word?

Our Faith in God is a strong anchor in a time of trouble. God is a promise keeper and we can hold onto the many promises he gives us in His Word.

Abraham Lincoln – President during the most terrible time in our country the Civil War. Bible on his Desk. After he died they looked through and they noticed under one of the Psalms a smudge mark that looked like a place he would have put his finger to read the Psalm.

Psalm 34:4 “I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.”

That’s a great Word from God for a leader during a difficult, painful, dangerous time.

The enemy also has some anchors he wants to use to weigh us down: Lies, Doubt, Fear. So understand and embrace your true identity, Serve and worship the Lord daily and Trust God completely.

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Four Things God Does to Encourage us

If you are like me it’s so easy to become discouraged and disappointed when things don’t go as you had planned. Life can be difficult and painful at times and most people become weary and tired as well.

In the book of Acts Paul faced many challenges, disappointments, rejections and dangerous situations on his missionary journey’s that started the early church and Christian movement. I’m sure he was weary, tired and discouraged. There are some consistent things that God did to encourage and help Paul for his mission and journey.

God does these same things in our lives. The key is being aware and acknowledging these things when they happen. I don’t believe things just happen by chance, God is always at work in our lives if we pay attention.

  1. God sends helpers and encouragers. God always works through people. People that are obedient to His ways and looking for ways to love and serve those around them. When you are discouraged, feeling alone or struggling with issues of life. Pray and ask God to bring the right people into your life. It’s in times like this that God sends people to encourage us and help us. 

Remember, we also have an enemy that does not want that to happen and will try to get you to isolate yourself even more and to avoid people. Battle against that. As you connect with God he will give you the discernment to know who is from Him and who is not from Him. That’s important because some people are not good for our faith and walk with God. Some people will give counsel that does not line up with Scripture and can deceive us. That is why we must be in God’s Word ourselves and work on the most important relationship in your life and that is the relationship with Jesus Christ.

The big question is who are those people that God has brought into your life to be an encourager, helper or mentor. But even more than that, who are you doing that for. Who are you encouraging, helping or mentoring?

2. God does the unexpected. So many times in Scripture and in our own lives God does something unexpected or miraculous. It’s usually at the most unexpected times as well. It’s those only God moments, where you can’t explain it other than only God.

For Paul there are so many times that God does the miraculous. Whether it’s a person believing that he does not think will, or God healing someone or delivering someone from evil. When we are down and discouraged look for God to do the unexpected to bring us encouragement.

3. God spoke to him directly.

In Acts 18:9-10 it says this: 9 “One night the Lord spoke to Paul in a vision: “Do not be afraid; keep on speaking, do not be silent. 10 For I am with you, and no one is going to attack and harm you, because I have many people in this city.”

This is what God said to Paul and I believe this applies to us today as well. God uses these words to encourage and help us. Today we have all of the Bible to hear from God. That is the primary way God speaks to us today.

  • God’s Courage – “Do not be afraid; keep on speaking, do not be silent.” 

Embrace perseverance: Courage often requires perseverance through trials and difficulties. Endure with faith, knowing that God is refining your character and strengthening your courage. James 1:12 encourages us, “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.”

Pray for courage daily: Bring your fears, anxieties, and concerns to God in prayer. Ask Him to grant you courage to face challenges and to trust in His power. Psalm 31:24 says, “Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the LORD!”

Trust that God will equip and empower you for the task. Isaiah 41:10 assures us, “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

  • God’s Presence – “For I am with you”

How do we stay aware of God’s presence?

Become more aware of God’s presence by creating space.You cannot become more aware of His presence without quieting your soul. Dallas Willard said, “Hurry is the great enemy of the spiritual life.”  You need time and space to hear God clearly. When we are always on the go, moving from task to task with the earbuds in, email open, television blasting, and social media buzzing, God is left in the background.  Listen to what Jesus did according to Mark 1:35, “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.” Why was it solitary? Simply, he was removing the distractions so that He could focus on God. You and I should do the same at least once a day if not more. And then we need to do it for extended times. It is during these times when we can hear and sense God more clearly.

Become more aware of God’s presence by obeying His Word. A key spiritual principle is that God makes Himself known and reveals His presence to those who choose to obey His word. Jesus explained it this way, “Those who accept my commandments and obey them are the ones who love me. And because they love me, my Father will love them. And I will love them and reveal myself to each of them.” (John 14:21)  The word “reveal” means to appear in person! How cool is that? God shows Himself to those who are willing to obey because their obedience reveals their love for Him. In this sense, God is just like you and me. He is drawn to those who love Him.

Become more aware of God’s presence by talking to Him. Paul encouraged all believers in 1 Thessalonians 5:17, “…pray without ceasing.” When we turn our inner conversation into a conversation with God, it brings Him into our lives like nothing else can.  You can literally talk to Him about everything that is going on all the time. As you get better and better at this, you begin to hear Him speak back to you. And this, my friends, is what you were created for.

  • God’s Protection – “and no one is going to attack and harm you”

God’s protection is not the absence of trials but the confidence that He is with His people, providing strength, guidance, and shelter in every circumstance.

When it comes to God’s protection:

Pray for Protection: It’s appropriate to pray for God’s protection in specific situations or for loved ones. Philippians 4:6 encourages believers to “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”

Put on the Armor of God: Ephesians 6:11-13 encourages believers to “put on the whole armor of God” to stand against spiritual forces of evil. This spiritual armor includes truth, righteousness, faith, salvation, and the Word of God.

Stay Connected to the Church: Being part of a Christian community is a way God protects us. We all need the strength of companionship and support in times of adversity. Brothers and sisters in Christ, praying for each other, listening to each other, caring for each other, guiding each other, and even challenging each other.

  • God’s reveals part of His Plan – “because I have many people in this city.”

Why is God reminding him to not be afraid, keep on speaking, reminding him that God is with him and that he will protect him. It’s because God knows there are a lot of people in this city that will believe in Jesus and be saved. He wants Paul to stay there and deeply invest in the people of this city. 

God is all knowing and His plan needs to be our plan. Our obedience is key in this. That means sometimes doing things that don’t make complete sense to us.

God’s ultimate plan is always for people to believe in Jesus and have eternal life – Salvation. Our part is planting the seeds, watering those seeds that have been planted and being a Christ like example to the people around us.

God reveals His plan to us in small doses. Here He is telling Paul to stay, to invest deeply into these people and develop disciples. 

However, if we are not spending time with God, not praying much, not opening our Bibles, not going to church or in community with other believers it’s very difficult to hear from God and his plan for us.

4. God Guides us to what was next.

That vision from God gave Paul a peace about continuing to stay there and preach the Word. Paul was able to teach, coach and disciple many people because of the people around him, the courage he got from knowing that God was with Him always and that He would be protected on this journey. He also knew that many would come to faith which spurred him on to share about Jesus.

Because Paul was regularly practicing the presence of God and deepening that relationship with God he was guided by God through the Holy Spirit. He could sense when he was released to pursue something else or go to a new place.

Throughout the book of Acts on this journey that Paul is on we see him walking with the Spirit. God’s Spirit guiding Paul to stay or go, speak or be silent, even who to talk to and what to say.

Today we too are guided by the Holy Spirit. When we walk in tune with the Spirit we get the guidance to what is next. We get the courage to take that step and we are often protected along the way.

Ask God to guide you to what is next in your life. It starts with prayer and asking God for help and direction. Then look for the people God will send your way and dig into God’s word to hear directly from him, and of course expect the unexpected.

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Do You Enjoy Waiting?

I meet with and talk with a lot of people and one thing I don’t think I have ever heard is someone say they are really good at being patient.  Not many people list that as a strength, most often it’s listed as a weakness.  The meaning of the word patience is quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence.  It’s an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay.  Calmness, stability, and persistent courage in trying circumstances.  Does that describe me?  How about you?

Have you heard or made this comment: “Be careful when you pray for patience, because you might be tested.”  It’s almost like we are afraid to ask God for patience, because then we may be put into a position to have to actually be patient.  So why is it so hard for most people to be patient?  Why is this this virtue such a challenge to the majority of people.

Some of it stems from living in an instant gratification culture.  We have access to almost anything through our computers and phones, from emails to movie tickets.  I have seen people nearly go ballistic if they have to wait in line for more than a few minutes.  When looking to check-out at Walmart we work hard at finding the quickest line and when the line beside us goes faster, we get angry.  This mindset of getting things instantly has a dark side to it.  It affects our emotional intelligence and spiritual maturity.  The capacity to wait – trading a temporary delight for a more substantial success later- is a core component of emotional intelligence and spiritual maturity.

Wait for the Lord;
    be strong and take heart
    and wait for the Lord. Psalms 27:14

If we have a hard time waiting, we tend to act like children and throw a temper tantrum to get what we want.  Studies at Columbia University measured 4 year old’s ability to resist candy, then followed up more than a decade later.  Kids who could wait only a few seconds for the candy, had SAT scores as teens that averaged 60 points lower than those of the kids who’d had the self-control to resist for 5 minutes or longer.  Good things come to those who wait.  This is often hard to see in the moment when we really want something.  However, going with those first impulses can get us into trouble and into debt.

The good news is that we can all change and everyone can improve in this area of patience.  Our brains can be rewired and transformed, so that we actually respond and behave in a different way.  This of course takes time and patience with lots of endurance.  Here are a few suggestions on how to practice and improve our patience:

  1. Create more space between impulse and action – When hit with that impulse that I must have this or I must buy that, wait for a few hours and see if you still feel that way.  Delaying that impulse often leads to better more sound decisions, health and relationships.  Maybe the impulse is to say something to your spouse to defend yourself or attack his behavior, hold those words in and wait.  Think through how those words could be received and how they could do more damage.  Maybe it’s a purchase of something beyond the budget.  The power to walk away will begin to rewire the brain and help change the finances.
  2. Plan on Waiting – If we plan ahead for when we have to wait, it can be a huge shift in perspective.  When waiting in traffic, use that time to breath deeply and pray.  The deep belly breathing is a proven stress reliever and prayer has a way of shifting our focus to the right things.  Also, listening to a podcast or worship music can be a great way to use the time while you wait.  When you plan on waiting, those long waits can become little retreats.
  3. Plan Ahead – Allow more time, not less, to get to places; don’t leave important tasks to the last minute; resist doing one more thing before leaving the office or home, which causes us to be anxious, and often late, even before starting out.  The more we can plan ahead, the less impatient we will be when delayed.
  4. Practice saying No – Our lives are too busy because we take on too much.  Simplifying our lives can dramatically improve our patience.  Most of the things we are doing or involved in are good things, but too much is too much.  Start by listing out the most important things in your life.  What other things are distracting you from the most important?  When we are able to say no to some things we are able excel in others.
  5. Don’t try to change other people – The harder we try to change the other person the worse the relationship becomes.  Being patient with other people takes a shift from trying to figure out how to change them, to trying to figure out how to love and serve them.  Our patience level goes way up when we approach other people with a mindset to serve them and love them instead of change them.  That way when they don’t behave like we think they should it’s much easier to just keep serving and loving.  It’s not our job to fix other people or the world, it’s our job to work on ourselves.
  6. Understand why some things push your buttons – We all have hot buttons, those things that set us off and lead us into impatience and other emotions.  When we fully understand why certain things set us off, then we can learn new ways of responding when those buttons get pushed.  Our response after that button is pushed is what leads to conflict, anger, impatience and immaturity.  Our buttons are based on core fears we all have.  Things like fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of being misunderstood or unheard, fear of being inadequate, judged or cheated.  Fears like that cause us to respond is some whacked out ways. Some self discovery here can help you in all your relationships and be more patient with others and yourself.
  7. Be Flexible – We get most impatient when our plans are messed up.  When our schedule does not work out or something or someone blocks our goal.  When those unexpected things come up, take it as a learning experience and an opportunity to grow.  Maybe that person was brought into your life in that moment to help you grow more mature.  When we are so rigid in our goals and schedule it causes us to be very impatient with anyone that gets in the way.  We live in a fallen broken world with fallen broken people.  Expect roadblocks and distractions, and be prepared to adjust the best laid plans as necessary.
  8. Include God – On our own we will fail miserably in becoming more patient.  Asking God to help us in this area is the best thing any of us can do.  The more we talk to God about patience and other areas we need help in, the more He shapes and molds us.  When we plug into God, anything is possible.
  9. Finally, keep being persistent in your prayers even if God doesn’t seem to be answering. God does hear your prayers and is working in many ways that you do not see. Trust Him and His timing and keep doing your part of working on yourself and praying for others and the circumstances around you.
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Seven Things I’ve Learned about Great Leadership

As I reflect on being a leader over the last 30 years, it’s been a process of building, learning and growing. I still believe that everything rises and falls on leadership. The times that I have not lead well, things began to slip whether at work or at home. When I’ve led well progress was made and change happened, in me and others. I’ve learned so much and still have a lot to learn and improve on, but I would like to share some of what I believe about leadership.

I’d like to share seven thoughts about leadership, and what great leaders do.

  1. Great leaders develop people – People development should be a daily event, integrated into every interaction and conversation. As a leader you are constantly evaluating things and people around you. Are the right people in the right position, who needs more attention, what resources are needed to help them grow, are our systems encouraging growth, learning and improvement. Encouragement is a big part of developing people, building up their self-confidence, encouraging risk taking and constant improvement. Leaders need to mentor, coach and counsel the people they lead. The only way to do that is by getting to know them, their personalities, what motivates them, what their strengths and weaknesses are, and what they are passionate about.
  2. Great leaders cast vision – Vision leaks and it’s the leaders responsibility to keep filling people up with the vision. If there is no vision the organization, the family, the relationship will decline. To cast vision you must be clear about what the vision really is. The vision can’t be constantly changing. Dripping the vision consistently, rewarding people that get it and living it out as an example.
  3. Great leaders build trust – Trust is built over time by being consistent, doing what you say, listening, and being humble. Leaders take responsibility for when things go wrong and they generously pass around praise when things go right. Trust building also comes from good decisions, asking for peoples input, and doing what is best for your company, your family or the relationship. It also makes a huge difference to admit when you were wrong and to ask for forgiveness when you make a mistake. Trust takes a long time to build, but can be lost very quickly with one bad decision or mistake. What helps me is to have some other leaders around me that know me and hold me accountable, pray for me and encourage me.
  4. Great leaders make the tough calls – Tough calls can bring on criticism, resistance and complaints. Leaders that are willing to make difficult decisions do that because of the vision, the values, and the culture they are passionate about. Anything that derails that or distracts from that, needs to be changed or eliminated. The ability to make the tough calls comes from years of experience, failure and victories. It’s also vital to have some trusted advisors or mentors that can help you when you are facing a tough decision.
  5. Great leaders serve – Serving the people around you is one of the primary functions of a leader. What I mean by that is good leaders look for ways to make things better for their people. What resources are needed? What information is needed? What questions need to be asked? Who needs to rest or slow down? Who needs to be challenged more? The best way to do this is by meeting with your people, asking questions, getting to know them better, and really caring about them. Great leaders serve!
  6. Great leaders inspire – Inspiration comes from a compelling vision, but it also comes from being a good example. Leaders that live out what they say and lead by example inspire others to do the same. Leaders that take risks, learn through failure, and lead with integrity inspire people and give people the courage to do the same. Inspiration comes from the words leaders use and the actions they take.
  7. Great leaders are humble – Humility is the key to great leadership. Thinking about what is best for others and not yourself. Being open to new ideas or other people’s opinions. Admitting when you make a mistake, and owning bad decisions. Being humble does not mean you are weak, it really means you are strong and confident. It means you are not afraid to surround yourself with people more talented than you are. Leaders that have the combination of humility and persistence are the leaders people want to follow.

There is so much more to leadership, but if you work on just a few of these things you can grow as a leader. If you are struggling as a leader, keep going, it’s in the struggling that you become the leader God created you to be.

The last thing I will say about great leadership is that faith in Jesus Christ has been a game changer for me. Jesus is the best leader this world has ever seen. Simply studying and following the life of Jesus will make you a better leader. Putting your faith and trust in him changes your eternal destiny. He is all seven of those things in perfection, and so much more.

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Obey Like Jesus

If ever there was a word that makes us cringe, it would be obedience. For a lot of folks, obedience has a negative connotation. Maybe it reminds you of your failures, your inability to measure up to some standard. Maybe it reminds you of someone in your past (a parent, or a pastor) who used religion to manipulate you.

As Parents you want your children to “obey” you. Not because they are afraid of you, but because they trust you. Lots of kids rebel against authority, especially their parents. They experiment on how far they can push it. They want to go their own way, even if you as the parent know better. Honestly many adults are also rebelling, doing their own thing and not obeying authority figures, especially God.

When it comes to obeying someone, it’s a lot easier to obey someone you trust and feel loved by. However, not everyone who insists on obedience does so out of love for us. Some people throw this word around like a hand grenade, and do a lot of damage in the name of God. Obedience is a power word. Usually when someone insists on our obedience it’s a “red flag.” Some people use this word to conceal their ambitions, hidden agenda, and selfishness. Emotionally abusive people love to use this word as they tread all over us like a doormat.

From a Biblical perspective, we’re always living in obedience to someone, or something. And so our obedience can be directed toward God, or it can be dislocated away from God.

“Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness?” Romans 6:16

We can be mastered by sin just as readily as anything. So we obey our addictions. We obey our lusts. We obey our appetite for caffeine, alcohol, sugars, carbs.  We obey our materialistic impulses–the idol of bigger, better, faster, newer, shinier. We obey our tech impulses, new and better devices. Few masters are more ruthless than our desires.

At first our lusts isolate us from others. We withdrawal to do our thing. Then they demand greater commitment. Time, energy, resources, relationships, life. At first we try to manage them, until they finally consume us, destroying us in the end.

In Mark 7:8 Jesus observes how we “lay aside the commands of God to obey the traditions of men.”

We can identify as a certain denomination instead of a follower of Jesus. We obey the traditions we learned instead of the person we love, Jesus. Instead of serving God, sometimes we can become servants of our religious/political ideologies.

The masses didn’t crucify Jesus because he was the Son of God, or was obeying God. They killed him because he didn’t obey their traditions. In John 12:43 he describes how people “love human praise more than praise from God.” How many times have you felt conviction about some great thing God put on your heart, only to realize that your spouse, a boyfriend/ girlfriend, your kids, a friend was not on board, or disagreed with you? So instead of pressing forward, you relented, and gave in to the pressure. Our need for affirmation, and approval is so strong, we will cave rather than risk the disapproval of others. It’s like a law has been passed: “I have to be liked.” I need a Facebook thumbs up, a Twitter retweet, to have the validation I need in life. Do we obey men, or do we obey God?

Galatians 2:16 says, “…we have believed in Christ Jesus, so that we might be made right with God because of our faith in Christ, not because we have obeyed the law. For no one will ever be made right with God by obeying the law” (NLT).

The Bible describes how people believe they are accepted by God by obeying all the laws God has given. So like the Rich Young Ruler, people try to establish their own righteousness before God. Our checklists become a source of pride for us, and they become a sort of litmus test by which we gauge other’s sincerity, spirituality, or faith. “I don’t ever miss church. I read my Bible. I’ve been baptized. I tithe. I volunteer. I go to Bible study. I go on missions trips. I care about orphans, widows, prisoners, the hungry, the sick. . . I, I, I…” Our selective, cherry-picked lists can give us a false sense of confidence before God.

God’s standard is Galatians 3:10, “For all who rely on the works of the law are under a curse, as it is written: “Cursed is everyone who does not continue to do everything written in the Book of the Law.”

Who or what do you most obey? Jesus’ obedience wasn’t oriented around things… it was oriented to Father. Look at how Jesus obeyed. In John 8:28-30 Jesus says, “… I do nothing on My own initiative, but I speak these things as the Father taught Me. “ And He who sent Me is with Me; He has not left Me alone, for I always do the things that are pleasing to Him.”  

Philippians 2:8, “… being found in the appearance as a man, Jesus humbled himself by becoming obedient to death–even death on a cross!” 

To Obey Like Jesus: First, obedience is all about relationship. “Obedience or trusting obedience is God’s love language.” The “heart” of obedience is pleasing the Father in everything–i.e. in all we say and do. He is pleased when we obey because he knows that means we trust him. When we trust God we want to obey God, When we have a relationship with Jesus and are intimate with our Father God we don’t obey out of fear, it’s out of love. 2 John 1:6 says, “And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love.” 1 John 5:3, “For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments; and His commandments are not burdensome.”

Second, grace is the basis for our relationship with God. We are saved through faith in Christ alone, by virtue of Christ’s sacrifice, His perfect righteousness, His blood. The best we can do is respond to God’s offer of mercy. We can confess Jesus as Lord. We can repent and turn to God. We can pledge our lives to him in baptism. Ephesians 2:8-9 says, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith–and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God– not by works, so that no one can boast.” Faith in Jesus Christ leads to being born again spiritually. You are a new person and that new person begins to grow in love for Jesus. As that love grows, trust increases and obedience increases.

Third, obedience is God’s prescription for blessing. God’s commands carry a blessing, a promise, a reward. God’s promise to the children of Abraham is that if they obeyed God, it would go well for them, they would live a long life, and receive inheritance. If we sow obedience, we reap God’s very best in our lives. In Luke 11:28 Jesus says, “Blessed are those who hear the word of God and obey it.”  I even noticed in 1 John 3:22 that obedience makes our prayers more powerful. John says, “If our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive from him anything we ask, because we keep his commands and do what pleases him.”

Last, obedience is evidence our faith is alive, not dead. James says faith without works is DOA (James 2:17).  1 John 2:5-6 says, “But if anyone obeys his word, love for God is truly made complete in them. This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus lived.”  If our faith is alive, real, vibrant, sincere, it will show itself in how we live. Obedience is the inevitable fruit of saving faith.  In the end, God judges our faith by every word spoken, and every deed done, whether in public or private.

Who will you obey?

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Forgive Like Jesus

How many of you have scars on your body? How many of you have ever felt judged? Maybe for the way you look or something you did in your past, or a decision you made. How many of you like being judged? Nobody raised their hand on that one.

How many of you have been hurt by someone? Maybe you were abused, rejected, made fun of or lied about you. Bullied? Maybe you were betrayed by a friend, or taken advantage of.

Being judged and being hurt can leave emotional scars in our lives. Those wounds stay with us and many times don’t heal right, they get infected and can spread and cause many other issues. Even when they heal properly they can still leave scars that remind us of what happened to us.

When Jesus was cornered and put in a bad situation, He didn’t lash out. Instead, Jesus bent down and wrote with His finger on the ground. He didn’t blurt out an answer. He didn’t get sarcastic. He didn’t get angry, He didn’t run or hide. He basically ignored them. One translation adds, “he acted as though he heard them not.” 

But they keep pressuring Jesus for an answer about the woman caught in adultery. Again look at how Jesus responds. He doesn’t make a long speech, or teach a deep lesson. He made a very simple statement. Jesus said, “Whoever is without sin, cast the first stone.” When every left, she forgave the woman and encouraged her to sin no more.

In Romans 2:1 Paul tells us “Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things.”

To be like Jesus, we must learn to be quick to forgive, not quick to judge, or condemn. Paul tells us that “There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1

When you acknowledge that Jesus is Lord, he is quick to forgive and brings no condemnation or judgment. He wipes the slate clean.

Jesus also teaches us to pray for those who abuse us, in Luke 6:28 — “Bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.” Praying for people we care about is easy. Praying for people we don’t know well is also fairly easy. Praying for someone who hurt us or someone we loved is hard.

The reason Jesus tells us to do this is because He knows that our enemies, those who have hurt us in any way, can only be forgiven with the help of God. Praying for them helps us to break through the pain and see a person. When we pray for those that hurt us it begins that process of spiritual strengthening that is needed to truly forgive a person.

You might start by simply saying be with them, or maybe help them, or do something in their lives. Then you can get to the point where you actually ask God to bless them, make something good happen in their lives. Then maybe even deeper where you start to pray for their salvation, or their healing from whatever hurts they have.

Your prayers for others may or may not change them, but it will always change you. Forgiveness is more about you than the other person. Unforgiveness does a lot of damage in our hearts. It stays inside us right on top to the hurt and that often leads to negative emotions like anger, bitterness, frustration, and even things like depression and anxiety. 

Forgive as you have been forgiven. Jesus quickly forgave you! The moment you put your faith in him, the moment you asked. He is saying we should forgive that way. Forgiveness does not mean you will forget. You can’t just erase those memories and the hurt. But once you are free and healing you don’t think about it as much and eventually it’s not something you think about at all.

Forgiveness is not a feeling it is a choice, on our own we will never feel like forgiving, but with God’s help we can choose to forgive. Choose to give grace, and forgive, and speak the truth in love while not judging people as part of living like Jesus.

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Choose a life of Self Giving

I believe life is about growing in our relationship with Jesus Christ. When we do that the rest of our lives find direction, meaning and purpose.

And one of the ways of God that leads us deeper into this kind of relationship is the pathway of self-giving. 

I’m not talking about giving your money, though the happiest and healthiest saints are always the most generous. I’m talking about giving yourself. 

We know from experience and from the Bible that the path of self-giving is the path of greatest joy and growth. It’s not free from risk and pain. But it is the path of greatest joy. 

Paul said in Acts 20:35, “Remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’” More happy. More deeply satisfying. More rich and solid. Especially giving yourself.

This is who you are as a Christian. The moment you become a Christian, you are a giver by nature. self-giving is part of your nature, your essence, your identity.

Listen to Jesus: “Whoever drinks of the water that I will give him [that’s what it means to be a Christian] will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life” (John 4:14). 

That is who you are. You are a spring. You don’t do a spring. You are a spring. Whoever believes in me, Jesus said, “Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water” (John 7:38). That’s who you are. You are a spring. You are a fountain.

And what makes springs and fountains happy and healthy is when they make streams. If you stop them up, they stagnate. If you let them give — if you let them become what they are — they stay clear and healthy and life-giving and happy. 

Let’s turn to 1 Thessalonians 2:1–12.

Seven Ways Paul Gave Himself

Now listen to Paul as he tells us seven ways that he gave them himself. Please, don’t think of this as for someone else. Be encouraged to become what you are in Christ, a fountain, a spring, a giver of yourself.

1. First, Paul took a risk.

Verse 2: “But though we had already suffered and been shamefully treated at Philippi, as you know, we had boldness in our God to declare to you the gospel of God in the midst of much conflict.”

Going to church or going back to church is risky. Many of you have had bad church experiences, you’ve been hurt or disappointed or neglected or even rejected.
Taking the step of going is big. Walking into a new church with all the unknowns, is taking a risk

It’s the same thing getting into a small group or volunteering to serve. It’s risky, you could get hurt again, you could be disappointed again, you might not click or it might not be the right fit.

But that’s what the Gospel is all about – taking a risk, living and giving our lives to others. Loving and serving and growing. You can’t do that if you live an isolated, careful life. 

Sometimes we need to step out of our comfort zones and take a risk

2. Paul lived with integrity.

Verse 3: “For our appeal does not spring from error or impurity or any attempt to deceive.”

He gave them the truth and kept himself pure (that word for “impurity” is regularly used by Paul for sexual sin). He wasn’t doing this to find an inappropriate relationship.

He’s saying look guys our motives for helping you, for sharing the Gospel with you was from a heart of integrity. Integrity is not living perfect, but it’s being quick to admit your failures, your mistakes, asking for forgiveness – It’s being open, honest and of good character.

Our desire should be to live lives of integrity so that we can be a positive helpful influence on others.

We are not perfect, but we do have Christ, we do have the Holy Spirit.

3. Paul was not a People Pleaser.

Verse 4: “We speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts.” Verse 6: “Nor did we seek glory from people, whether from you or from others.”

People-pleasing makes people into phonies or pretenders. It usually means they are deeply insecure. 

What they want most is your approval. And so they are not real. They will do or say anything to make you happy, to avoid conflict or get you to like them

We all have some of these tendencies of wanting people to like us or to get their approval. That’s not wrong, it’s just should not be our primary motivator for doing things..

That is not giving yourselves. You never really know the real person. Paul will have nothing to do with that. He was all about pleasing God – His focus was on listening to God, obeying God, Sharing the good news about Jesus.

Relax in Jesus, and be who you are — warts, wrinkles, scars, and all.

4. Paul was Honest & Humble.

Verse 5: “For we never came with words of flattery, as you know, nor with a pretext for greed — God is witness.”

Flattery is using language not for the sake of truth, but for the sake of manipulation. You want something. 

In this case, Paul was being accused of buttering them up as a way to get money. They say he wanted their money, not their souls. And he says, “you and God know that is not true.”

We should live our lives the same way, not trying to manipulate people to get what we want, to get our way, to make more money.

We should not go to church or get into a small group to better our financial position or our status or to take advantage of someone else’s generosity, but to give ourselves.

Listen to verse 9: “For you remember, brothers, our labor and toil: we worked night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you.” He was not after their money. He was after their hearts for their good, he wanted them to have a relationship with Jesus. 

He was there to give them himself. When you give yourself, you don’t flatter, and you don’t position yourself for money, and you don’t expect to be served. You are there to give. That’s who you are in Christ — a giver.

That should be our attitude when you go to church, when we join a small group, when we volunteer to serve. Not what can I get, but what can I give.

5. Paul Cared Deeply for others.

Verse 6–8: We could have made demands as apostles of Christ. But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children. So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us.

He exchanged a relationship of power for a relationship of affection. This is a very vulnerable thing for a leader to do, or anyone really. 

Caring about people and caring for people is part of our calling to give ourselves to each other. 

Don’t ever think you are above this. Don’t ever think you are too sophisticated or too self-sufficient, or too cool to give yourself like this — showing tender affection like a mother with her children.

Who can you show kindness to? Where can you build meaningful relationships that lead to care and friendship.

For some of you it starts in your homes, with your spouse or with your family. But don’t stop there. You can be a part of a group, serve on a team, be a mentor or pray for people and encourage people that are hurting or struggling.

Ask God to change your heart, to help you care deeply about other people and how you can love and serve others.

6. Paul treated people right.

Verse 10: “You are witnesses, and God also, how holy and righteous and blameless was our conduct toward you believers.”

He is not saying he was sinless. What this means is: We honored God, we treated people right, and we gave no one a legitimate reason to blame us for our behavior. 

He was above reproach. What a beautiful thing — what a compelling thing — when we can be real and be good. He walked in integrity.

Paul was open, vulnerable and real. There was nothing fake about him. He was genuine, he treated people with respect, love and care. He was full of truth and grace, which made it hard for people to find fault in him or accuse him of anything shady.

7. Paul was an Encourager

Verses 11–12: “For you know how, like a father with his children, we exhorted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to walk in a manner worthy of God, who calls you into his own kingdom and glory.”

And the legacy was not the memory of himself, but the kingdom and the glory of God.

Paul was a great encourager, just like a father encourages his children, so we can be known as an encourager, instead of a complainer.

Who can you encourage? Write a note, send  a text, say a prayer, visit, call.

Bottom Line: You Have Something to Give, Choose a life of giving Yourself.

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Three Relationship Tips

We were created for relationships. God made us to be in relationship with other people, and with him. When we are not in healthy relationships our lives are more difficult, dark, and lonely. In order to improve our relationships with people and God, here are three simple things we can do to grow, and become more healthy.

  1. Spend Time Together – If you don’t intentionally spend time together, you don’t get to know the other person. It’s in those times together, that the relationship has a chance to grow, both deeper and closer. Regular touches face to face, eye to eye, where you talk, catch up, ask questions, encourage and resolve conflict. When it comes to spending time with God, it also takes being intentional. The ways I do that is mainly through prayer, simply talking and listening to God. Reading Scripture is another way I connect with him. Musical worship, meditation and being out in creation are other ways I connect with God. Whether it’s another person or God, make time for each other. Plan times together where you are not interrupted or distracted.
  2. Listen and Pay Attention – This is a huge thing in relationships. Most conflict happens because of misunderstandings. When you are with a person you care about, practice active listening, by asking clarifying questions. Pay attention to their non verbal language. Be fully present by not being distracted by your phone, the TV, or other people. This is a great way to let someone know you care about them, by listening and paying attention. How are you doing in listening and paying attention to God and what he is saying to you?
  3. Practice Forgiveness – No relationship can last without giving and receiving forgiveness. We all are imperfect and make mistakes. We can and do hurt each other, maybe unintentionally or maybe intentionally. Forgiveness is the secret sauce to a healthy relationship. It helps us to keep short accounts and not let things build up. Forgiveness is the beginning of healing and helps us to not keep score or bring up old hurts from the past. Forgiving is not forgetting, but it can lead to forgetting, or to not holding an offense against someone.

I could give many more tips on healthy relationships. The big thing to me is that any relationship that is important will take work. The more work you put into the relationship the healthier it becomes. Anything that is neglected tends to deteriorate. Don’t let that happen to your relationships. Make time and find ways to build up and improve your relationships. You will never regret that effort.

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Six Ways to Handle Stress

We all experience stress every day. Some days are much worse than others. I’ve recently experienced some stress related to travel that made me think about how to handle and manage the stress we face every day. First our flight got cancelled, then our new flight was delayed 3 hours, which caused us to miss our connecting flight. You probably got stressed out just reading that.

When stress builds up over time it can wear us down, and take a toll on us physically, emotionally and spiritually. When we are worn down we often will do and say things that we can regret later.

Stress is often relatively short-term, and is often caused by feeling that work or home life is out of control. When both of those are out of control the stress feels extra heavy.

Maybe you have a heavy work week with several big projects, causing you to work extra hours, and maybe pushing to meet a tight deadline. You may also be experiencing tension at home with a close relationship, or have some financial pressure that has been building.

Most of the time we have high stress days or weeks, and then days or weeks of lower stress. It’s when those stress days move into months and years that it can take a toll on us to the breaking point.

Prolonged stress can lead to burnout. When you start reaching the point of burnout, your work starts to not seem as meaningful, and there is often a disconnect between what you are doing and what you want to do. You start to feel like you’re just going through the motions, and you can become cynical, critical and adversarial. You are probably experiencing regular mental and physical exhaustion, and you’re finding it hard to rest.

So what can we do to manage stress. First it’s important to recognize the unhealthy ways that we are dealing with stress. Many people will self medicate by drinking, smoking, eating, shopping, binging on something. I’ve been binging on Law & Order SVU, Criminal Minds and Chicago PD.

Next you can start working on healthy ways to deal with stress. Here are just a few that help me:

  1. Exercise/Eat Healthy/Sleep – I put those together because those are all physical things we can do to help with our stress. Those three things, when done in a healthy way, can reduce stress and make you stronger physically and emotionally. You become more resilient and can bounce back faster.
  2. Prayer/Meditation/Worship – I put those three together because those are spiritual things you can do to reduce stress in a big way. I believe in and follow Jesus, and when I spend more time with Him, I feel so much better and less stressed. I also include reading my Bible and doing daily devotions to help prepare me everyday for the stress that is coming. Block off extra time when stress is high for Quiet time with God. Listen to worship music, and sing along. Write in a journal and list everything you’re grateful for. Caring for yourself spiritually builds internal strength, and allows God to make changes in you and through you.
  3. Plan for and take breaks during the day, during the week, and during the month. – Every day take short refreshment breaks. It could be a 10 minute walk around the office, going and getting a drink of water, standing in the sunshine for a few minutes or taking 5 minutes to pray. Each week you should have a day of rest, where you are not working, but resting, reading, exercising, sleeping, spending time with loved ones. Every month you should plan a little extra time for self care, spiritual care or relational care. Plan those and put them on your calendar.
  4. Have honest conversations – Talk to your leader if you’re able to, about the stress you are feeling. Ask for clear expectations, and help in prioritizing your work. Also ask your leader if you have the right goals, and if they should be adjusted. If you don’t have any goals for work or home, work on setting a few and then talk with your boss or spouse. If you’re in a toxic environment have the courage to talk about that, and offer ways that you can help make it better.
  5. Learn the art of saying no, and asking for help – This can be hard, but is a great way to reduce stress. You can say no and still be kind and helpful. It’s also wise to ask for help. If you are unsure about something, or don’t know how to do it, ask for help or clarity. Good leaders appreciate when you ask questions, and you can avoid a lot of stress and miscommunication when you ask good questions. This works at home as well.
  6. Finally talk to a counselor, mentor or pastor – This can help to dig a little deeper and find out if there are things that are causing stress that are under the surface, or buried inside you. This doesn’t mean you are weak, it actually takes courage and strength to go get help, and it will reduce your stress in the long run.

Philippians 4:6-7 is very helpful when it comes to stress. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Psalm 55:22 says “Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you”

Jesus also told his disciples to “come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” When they had been overworked and overwhelmed Jesus encouraged them to get away and rest. That’s great advice for us today.