Category: Change

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How’s the Weather?

We talk about the weather a lot don’t we? When it’s nice out we feel compelled to comment on it and when it’s bad weather outside we often complain about it. In Ohio this is an everyday occurrence. We watch the weather forecasters and watch the weather channel to find out all we can about the weather. Weather does affect our lives in small ways. Sometimes it causes us to change plans or change our moods.

How is your weather? As I was outside today, I started thinking about the weather and how each person has their own weather everyday. Are you party sunny, partly cloudy, mostly sunny, chance of rain, chance of severe thunderstorms? Each day we have a forecast for our weather. The thing about this weather is that we have some control over the weather in our lives.

Our personal weather is affected by what and how we think. Our weather follows our thoughts, so if you are thinking negative, bad thoughts your weather will most likely be mostly cloudy. Now I understand that we can’t always be sunny or happy. There will be those days that are darker than the others. There will be some storms in our life, but how long we stay there depends a lot on our thoughts.

When we dwell on thoughts that are negative, we tend to spiral downward and stay in the storm. We actually increase the strength of the storm the more we stay with those negative thoughts.

So how do you train yourself to think in the right way? Philippians 4:4-8 describes this process well in the Message version.

“Celebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in Him! Make it as clear as you can to all you meet that you’re on their side, working with them and not against them. Help them see that the Master is about to arrive. He could show up any minute! Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious – the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.”

So if your weather has been mostly cloudy or if you’ve been experiencing severe weather in your life examine what you have been thinking about. We become what we think about. Our hearts are fed by our thoughts. The Bible says to guard our hearts, and the best way to do that is to be careful what we think about and where we focus our minds. You have the ability to drastically improve your weather, starting today.

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Hot Pursuit

We all are pursuing something. We were created to be and do. What we pursue is what we think most about. Our energy goes in that direction, our thoughts lead to actions to help us pursue that something.

I remember when I was pursuing my wife. We were in High School, she was two years older, a cheerleader, popular and somewhat interested in me. I found myself pursuing her, thinking about her all the time. I wanted to spend all my time with her. Whenever I had a chance to be with her, I chose that path. I pursued her even when she was not interested in me. That persistence paid off and we started going steady. I gave things up for her, I spent less time with my friends to be with her. I wanted her and so I pursued her.

I continued to pursue her through High School and through my first two years of college. I pursued her for 5 years. We got married on May 27th 1989. I have continued to pursue her over the past 20 years. I continue to think about her, spend time with her, have conflict with her, resolve conflict with her, serve her, learn about her and be with her.

When we pursue something with persistence we can achieve some amazing things. For me it has been 20 years of marriage. When you pursue your career and that is your main focus you can make lots of money. If you pursue physical fitness you can achieve amazing results like running marathons. If you pursue close friendships you can have amazing community, accountability and unconditional love. When you pursue knowledge/education you can become a expert on nearly anything you study.

What if you would pursue God like that? What if you pursued truth like that? What if you pursued wisdom like that? The results could be amazing as well. What would happen if you actually read through the entire Bible over the next three months? What would happen if you spent time daily praying, meditating on truth and thinking about God? What if you pursued God like you pursue your job or your marriage or your girlfriend or your education? What if He was the main thing you thought about no matter what was going on in your life?

We all pursue something, when we are not in pursuit of something we are stagnate, bored and often depressed. Pursuing something with passion has great power. What are you pursuing? A year from now how much closer will you be to what you are pursuing?

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What’s Most Important?

What is distracting you from doing what is most important? What have you said no to lately? Here is a simple exercise I would highly recommend you trying.

Take a piece of paper and write goals at the top. Then list your top 10 goals for the next 12 months. It could be work related, health related, money related, spiritual or relational.

Once you have at least 10 goals listed ask yourself this question: If I could only accomplish one goal, but it would happen within the next 24 hours, which one goal would have the greatest positive impact on my life.

Circle that one goal that would have the biggest impact on you if it happened. Then flip the page over and start brainstorming how you can make that one goal a reality. List out several things that you could do immediately to start getting closer to that goal. Start saying no to other things that would distract you from achieving that goal, within reason. I don’t think it is wise to say no to your family, your marriage, your faith.

When we narrow the focus it helps us work on things that are really most important. Those important things that will impact our work. Those important things that would transform our marriage. Those important things that would impact our faith. Those important things that would impact our finances.

I know for me I need to start setting aside more time for the important stuff and limit the distractions. That takes some self-discipline and maybe learning some new habits. To make that happen you may need someone to coach you or mentor you or maybe even hold you accountable. That may sound like hard work, but that’s the only way to have lasting change happen in your life.

Don’t wait for the new year to start making changes in your life, start today.

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Patterns & Routines

The older I get the more I find myself liking familiar routines and patterns. It becomes a little more difficult to change or to be motivated enough to want to change. The longer you have done a certain routine like what you typically do when you get home from work, or how you go about buying groceries, the harder it is to change it up. We have patterns like the TV shows we watch, the Internet sites we visit, the friends we talk to, the words we use, the food we eat and even the way we talk to our spouse or children.

We all have certain patterns and routines that make us feel comfortable and safe. Some call this our comfort zone. Some of that is good, but it can also keep us from experiencing the best things in life. You see I don’t think God wants us to be comfortable and safe. Comfortable and safe means we are not going to make much of a difference. We do have an enemy that wants us to be comfortable and safe; to get stuck in certain routines and patterns that keep us ineffective.

What have you risked lately? Do you always play it safe in your relationships? Do you have some patterns or routines that are unhealthy? Do you usually take the easier road? For me selfishness usually keeps me in the comfort mode. I think it’s the same for most people. We want to be happy and do things that benefit us or improve our situations.

God tells us repeatedly in the Bible to be courageous, to be strong and courageous. We don’t need to be courageous if we are living comfortable, safe lives. What is one thing you can do starting this week that will make you a little more dangerous. What can you do to make our enemy a little nervous. What pattern or routine do you need to change that will get you out of your comfort zone? What can you start doing today that would surprise your spouse or your friends in a good way?

Go ahead, take a risk, do something different, do something that would make God smile and say that was courageous.

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Where Do You Live?

On my run today(5 miles) this thought came to my mind: Where do you live?

Usually when we are asked that question we tell people what city we live in, that’s not what I am asking. Do you live in the past or in the present? Many of us get stuck in the past. It may have been a traumatic experience, a painful experience or even a fantastic experience. Those moments in our lives that impacted us in a positive or negative way. If we are reliving those moments in our minds, we are living in the past.

We all have had those defining moments in our lives, which is very important, it’s part of your story. The problem is that if we focus too much on those old defining moments we may miss some new defining moments. A negative experience from your past can be keeping you in fear of taking a risk in the present. A positive experience from your past can make you feel overconfident and keep you from continuing to grow.

So what should we do? I think we need to remember the past and learn from it, but we need to focus on the present and the future. When we glance at the past that’s OK. The problem is when the past becomes our focus we can no longer move forward.

That is why it is so important to have goals in all areas of our lives. It is important to be thinking about how you can make progress today. What changes you can make to improve the person that you are today. Yes you acknowledge your past, you learn from your past, you use your past experience to make better decisions today, but you don’t live there.

So where do you live?

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Leadership Development

I’ve been thinking a lot about leadership development lately. As a leader, I think about how I can grow, learn and improve myself as a leader often. This desire to grow is something that God has put on my heart for quite a few years. Leadership is something that must be constantly growing and changing. The best leaders are never content to stay where they are at, they know that there is much more to learn, there are other people that are doing things better that they can learn from and there is more that can be done to impact the world.

Leadership development is really about the desire to improve. The drive to serve the people around you better, to make a difference and change lives, to improve your organization or your family is what defines a leader. Without the realization that you need to constantly be growing as a leader you won’t change much as a leader, and your influence will not go up. You will soon be passed by and be ineffective. You will hit a lid and not be able to take your organization or your family to the next level.

If you want your business, organization, church, department, workplace, family, marriage or really any important relationship to improve, you need to work on yourself. When you make changes in yourself you can have more influence on the people around you. You must be careful about your motives in all of this as well. If you are wanting to grow as a leader to gain power, position, money, or recognition, then your influence will be short lived. People can see through that quickly and you can lose influence.

Every year I work on a personal growth plan for myself. I think about what areas I struggle in and how I can make improvements there. I look at my areas of strength and how I can get even better in those areas. I think about people I can learn from, books I can read, conferences I can go to or classes I can take.

Currently I am working with a team of people at NewPointe Community Church on a Leadership Experience, this experience will focus on competency based development, working to improve peoples competencies in 7 areas. We came up with these 7 after some extensive surveys and interviews. Our initial target group is people that are leading or have led small groups. These competencies are transferable in helping people improve at work and at home as a leader.

Our goal in this project is to equip men and women to lead better in all areas of their lives. People that go through his experience can increase their influence and help make a difference in their homes and communities. We will be launching a test group in early 2010 and hope to offer this to several groups of 12-15 people later next year. If you want to know more about this leadership development project please contact me at NewPointe Community Church.

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Jump Start

Jump Start Your Life

Recognize the power of quitting:

Jim Allen said “to be a real winner, you have to stop doing the stuff that’s not good for you.”

This principle is very powerful, because it can free up a lot of time. We need to quit things for the right reasons.

  • You quit something you don’t do well to start something you do well.
  • You quit something you’re not passionate about, to do something that fills you with passion.
  • You quit something that doesn’t make a difference to do something that does.
  • You quit something that’s not your dream to do something that is.

So what do you need to quit doing tomorrow?

Learn to say No:

This has been very difficult for me over the years, because I am a people person. Think about great Olympic athletes and all they had to say no to in order to train to become world class.

  • Stop being a people pleaser.
  • If you always say yes when you’d rather say no, you’ll find yourself unhappy, and going through the motions.
  • Saying no allows you to direct where you put your energy and spirit.
  • Saying no brings more freedom to your life
  • Saying no allows you more time for the important relationships in your life.

Track what you are doing:

  • If you want to change your financial situation, you need to know how you are currently spending your money.
  • If you want to lose weight you need to start keeping track of everything you eat and how often you exercise.
  • If you want to change your workplace habits, you must find out how you are spending your time at work.

Once you know where your money is going, where your time is going and what your putting into your mouth, you can begin to make changes. Look at your life as a series of choices instead of obligations.


Nourish Yourself:

We all get tired, we all have stress, we all have problems. We need to find ways to fill our tanks and recharge our batteries on a regular basis.

Here are ten nourishment center that I have found to be helpful in my life:

  1. Music – What songs lift me?
  2. Thoughts – What thoughts or quotes inspire me?
  3. Experiences – What experiences rejuvenate me?
  4. Friends – What people encourage me?
  5. Recreation – What activities re-charge me?
  6. Spiritual – What spiritual disciplines strengthen me?
  7. Hopes – What dreams inspire me?
  8. Home – What family members care for me?
  9. Giftedness – Which of my gifts activate me?
  10. Memories – What memories make me smile?

So what do you need to quit doing? What or who do you need to say no to? What do you need to start tracking? What do you need to do to nourish yourself?

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Stretch & Grow

Change creates fear of the unknown, fear of failure and feelings of insecurity. If you want to create positive change in your world you will need to be aware of the fears that will come your way. If you are not doing something that makes you uncomfortable or afraid, then you are not stretching yourself. If you do not stretch yourself you will not grow.

Think back over the past year. What have you done that has really stretched you and taken you out of your comfort zone? What challenge did you take on that gave you a knot in your stomach? If you can’t think of anything, you probably didn’t grow much last year.

Leadership guru John Maxwell said “People change when they hurt enough that they have to change, learn enough that they want to change, or receive enough that they are able to change.”

Things are changing around us every day, that’s a given. How you respond to those changes determines your success in life. Whether it is your marriage, your job, your financial situation, your church, your social network, your children, your friends, your health. Everything changes.

Change represents possible opportunity and potential loss. Change can mean growth or grief. It all comes down to your attitude toward change, do you view it as an opportunity to learn and grow or do you view it as an intrusion into your world?

Oliver Wendell Holmes said, “Man’s mind, stretched to a new idea, never goes back to it’s original dimensions.” How are you stretching your mind?

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Your Most Valuable Asset

Last week in a meeting on leadership development, one of the guys in our group made this statement – “Your attention is your most valuable asset, whatever has your attention is where your resources will flow.” I wrote that down right away.

Reflect on that for a moment.

What has your attention these days? Where are your resources flowing? Your resources are things like your time, money, energy, thinking, listening, wisdom, influence.

When your attention is on the wrong things, its very easy to get on the wrong path in life. Very quickly you can find yourself very far from where you want to be. Whether you are running a business, leading a department, leading your family, serving in a ministry, serving on a board, or just leading yourself – attention matters.

Most children crave their parents attention. They will act out, cry and beg for your attention. I once saw a young girl grab her daddy’s face and told him to look at me. She wanted his undivided attention. One of the best gifts you can give to the people around you is your attention. When you are talking to someone and you give them your full attention it sends a message that you care.

Maybe you simply need to give people more of your attention. Maybe your attention has been on the wrong things in your life. Maybe you need to pay more attention to the important relationships in your life. Maybe you need to pay more attention to God.

Your attention is your greatest asset, use it wisely.

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Masks

I read this quote from William Shakespeare today and it got me thinking – “God hath given you one face, and you make yourselves another.”

In ancient Greece they loved the theater, they wore giant masks to portray good or evil. It was always a caricature to emphasize the character. They would sometimes switch masks during performances to let you know they had changed. These performers were not known as actors. They called them hypocrites, which literally means “one who wears a mask”.

Today we too wear masks, we are all performers because we don’t often show our real faces. Here are some of the masks we wear:

  • The “happy” mask
  • The “I’m better than most” mask
  • The “I’m very together” mask
  • The “I’m a victim of others” mask
  • The “I don’t care” mask
  • The “I’m self-sufficient” mask
  • The “I’m very important” mask
  • The “I’m competent enough to not need love” mask
  • The “I’m the expert” mask
  • The “I’m not hurt” mask
  • The “I have the answers” mask
  • The “I am independent” mask
  • The “I am cool” mask

Those came from a book called “True Faced” by Bill Thrall, Bruce McNicol, and John Lynch. Here are some I thought of:

  • The “I don’t have an addiction” mask
  • The “My marriage is doing great” mask
  • The “My children are doing great” mask
  • The “I don’t have an anger problem” mask
  • The “I don’t need accountability” mask
  • The “I don’t need to be in a small group” mask
  • The “I don’t need a church home” mask
  • The “I don’t want to get involved” mask
  • The “My finances are fine” mask
  • The “I’m a Christian” mask

The reason most of us wear these masks, is we have a fear of people really knowing who we are. We are afraid they won’t accept us or will think we are unworthy. These fears keep us behind our mask, trying to convince ourselves we are not being a hypocrite.

Here is a pattern that I see often in people I talk to. There is some issue or hurt that causes pain in their hearts. They feel alone, hurt, desperate, filled with anguish and many other emotions. Others around them are not struggling as much and so they feel alienated and alone. They push the pain down deep inside their heart and hope it will eventually go away. Unfortunately it keeps popping its head up again and again. Slowly they lose hope that they can change or be “fixed”. They decide that they must live with this pain and therefore they start wearing masks to cover up their dysfunction.

I think that Christians wear more masks than those still seeking Christ. We think we have to have it all together and are afraid we will be discovered. We can be like Jekyll and Hyde. Acting one way in public and another in private. That kind of behavior has turned a lot of people off to Christianity.

To overcome this problem of mask-wearing, it starts with Trusting God. Trusting that He is who He says He is. That He will do what He said He would do. Understanding the grace that He has given us, that we are forgiven and made white as snow.

The more intimate we get with God the more He can heal those hurts, help us overcome those hangups and habits that are unhealthy. Only Jesus can heal you. To smash those masks, you need to get real with some people. You have to let some people into your world, admit you have struggles and issues. Community and accountability are required for the masks to come down. That is the beginning of being the real you and not a mask wearing hypocrite.

So make the effort to first of all admit what masks you wear and determine to be true to who you are. It means taking a risk and letting down your guard, but the freedom on the other side of that is amazing. Smash your masks today. Be real.