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Courage

I came across this today in 2 Chronicles 19:11, the end of the verse – “Act with courage, and the Lord will be with the good.”

The English word for courage comes from the French word coeur, which means “heart”. That is where the saying “Don’t lose heart” comes from. Here are some thoughts about how to act with courage:

  1. It takes courage to face the truth about myself – Often the truth about ourselves is not something we like hearing.
  2. It takes courage to change when staying the same is more comfortable – When we step out of our comfort zone, we often get tested, but we also get stretched and can reach new heights we didn’t think we could reach.
  3. It takes courage to stand for our convictions when we know we will be challenged – Whenever we stand for something or try something that stretches us someone usually takes a shot at us. Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote: “Whatever you do, you need courage. Whatever course you decide upon there’s always someone to tell you you’re wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to the end, requires the same courage a soldier needs. Peace has its victories, but it takes brave men to win them.”
  4. Courage usually means getting it wrong before you get it right – It takes real courage and humility to learn from our mistakes and make changes to correct those mistakes. It takes courage to face reality and work at making things right.
  5. Courage means taking the “high road” – The high road may mean forgiving someone that hurt you and not holding a grudge. It may mean treating someone with kindness that does not deserve it. It may mean keeping your mouth shut when you would love to criticize or attack. When we practice true forgiveness we show incredible courage.
  6. Adversity is our friend – Each obstacle we face in life teaches us about our strengths and weaknesses. It shapes us, sharpens us and helps us to depend on God more. If there where no adversity in our lives we would not grow or make needed changes in our lives. Adversity brings opportunity to display courage and character.

In what areas of your life do you need more courage? What might God be trying to teach you in your current adversity? How can you take the high road with whatever you are facing? What lessons have you learned from the mistakes you just made?

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Determination

Determination is a character quality that I admire and strive for in my own life. All of us need encouragement to endure rather than escape hardship. Determination is essential for seeing a project through to completion and it stirs hope and keeps us positive during the long haul of life’s problems.

Here are two things I know about life:

  • Opposition and hardship is inevitable.

Paul talks about this in 2 Corinthians 4:8-10 – “We’ve been surrounded and battered by troubles, but we’re not demoralized; we’re not sure what to do, but we know that God knows what to do; we’ve been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn’t left our side; we’ve been thrown down, but we haven’t broken. What they did to Jesus they did to us – trial & torture, mockery and murder; what Jesus did among them, he does to us – he lives! … While we’re going through the worst, you’re getting in on the best.”

The opposition we face today is not much different than what Paul faced. There are relational struggles, marital disharmony’s, difficulties connected with parenting and financial strains. There are also work challenges, sickness, job loss, accidents and injuries. There is no escaping the downside of human life. Just recently I was in a car accident that reminded me that life can be difficult and change in a split second.

Opposition and difficulties, pain, disappointments, and heartache are reality. Expect them. That way you won’t be caught off guard when they happen.

The second thing I know is:

  • Motivation is Essential:

Paul goes on to say this in verses 16-18 – “So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There’s far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now will last forever.”

Usually everything in us cries out “just quit” when we encounter life’s irritations, one after another. But Paul’s counsel is to not lose heart. He is telling us that an attitude of fortitude is needed in life…the motivation of determination. A positive never-say-die attitude is needed to make it through life’s hardships.

One of the best examples of determination I know of is Nehemiah. The book of Nehemiah describes the story of Nehemiah returning to the destroyed city of Jerusalem to rebuild the walls that protected the city, so that the city could be rebuilt and repopulated.

He had three oppressive obstacles:

  • Verbal criticism – people openly critical of what he was trying to do
  • Secret conspiracy – people working behind his back to stop what he was doing
  • Deception – people using intimidation, fear, lies and rumors to stop progress

Despite all of that he completed his project in 52 days. That took leadership and determination. It’s the same way in our lives. When we understand and embrace what Jesus did for us, we can face any opposition or hardship with a positive attitude and determination to make it through no matter what. Here are four helpful hints for living a life of determination:

  1. Never let life’s difficulties surprise you. Monitor your expectations, be realistic instead of idealistic
  2. Keep a positive perspective. Remind yourself that God is awesome and in control. Focus on your goals or your most important priorities and don’t get distracted by criticism or circumstances.
  3. Fight your battles on your knees. Nehemiah spent a lot of time praying. He prayed for help, for protection, for wisdom, for strength, for God’s intervention. Mix brief moments of prayer into your everyday encounters, and spend extended time with God pouring out your heart.
  4. Stay close to others. God never meant for us to be lone rangers. None of us are totally self-sufficient. Having community or relationships with other people is vital in making it through hardships and opposition. Surround yourself with good people.

Whatever you are facing today, know that God is with you and for you. He has promised to never leave us and to walk through every valley with us. Like Nehemiah and Paul we can have extraordinary determination only when we plug into God. It’s our choice, I suggest plugging into him and following his lead. Be determined to finish the journey you have started on the path God put you on.

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The Decision

I don’t know if you have been following the whole LeBron James decision thing or not. I am a big basketball fan and my favorite team is the Cleveland Cavaliers. I must say that I am disappointed that he is leaving to go play in Miami. This had to be a tough decision for a young man to make, he is only 25. I remember when I was 25, looking back I now realize how little I really knew then.

I must say that I do respect LeBron’s passion for winning. He was willing to take less money and not be the top dog on the team in order to win. He could have made more money in Cleveland and he could have been more famous in New York, yet he chose winning and personal happiness.

LeBron James is very good at what he does and I wish him and his family the best.

So how should we approach the big decisions in our life? Should I take that new job? Should we buy that house or that new car? Should I get married or stay single? Should I go back to school and get a degree? Should we get a divorce or keep working on it? Should we move to a new city? Should I eliminate some things from my life? Should I say yes or no to this new big project?

Here are several things I try to do when facing a big decision:

  1. Start Praying – I know that sounds religious, but God has promised to give us wisdom if we ask for it and follow his principles in life. When I begin to consistently pray for wisdom to make the right decision, God has always given me direction, through other people, bringing thoughts to my mind, helping me to focus and giving me peace.
  2. Ask Questions and seek advice – I try to find someone that in knowledgeable about the area I am facing. Maybe someone that has gone through what I am going through. Maybe a financial advisor, maybe a Christian Counselor, maybe a trusted friend.
  3. Write down the pros and cons – For me it helps to put it on paper. What are the positives and negatives of making this decision. I write down everything I can think of on both sides. Sometimes I even ask others to give me their pros and cons.
  4. Don’t rush – I try never to make an emotional decision. Going slow is usually the best approach. We don’t always have that luxury, but often taking our time is the best approach. Do your homework and research and pray.
  5. Do what is right, not what is convenient – Try to think about what would be best in the long term for you and your family. Evaluate all the options. Saying no to a big opportunity because it would put to much stress on you or your family can be hard, but could be best in the long term. Ask God what the right thing to do is.
  6. Ask your self lots of questions – I try to ask myself things like why do I want to do this? What am I afraid of? If I do this how would it affect my wife & family? Will this make me a better person? Will this decision hurt other people? Will this improve my current situation or put me into more stress? What would Jesus tell me to do?

If you are facing “The Decision”, walk through these steps and then make the best decision you can. You won’t always get it right, but if you follow these guidelines it will help you make better decisions most of the time. When you get it wrong, admit it and try to not dig a deeper hole.

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Meekness

I have been thinking about the word meek today. Just the sound of that world brings to mind a weak, quiet, kind of backward type person. As a leader we want to be known for being strong, courageous and bold. In our relationships we don’t want to be taken advantage of, so meekness is typically not on our radar. So being meek, doesn’t sound all that appealing to me.

Yet it is listed as a positive character quality by Character First and Jesus used this word in his first sermon. As I was reading through Mathew chapter 5 this morning I noticed this word. The other thing I noticed is that I highlighted verses 3, 4, 6, 7, 8 in the past while reading this Scripture. I did not highlight verse 5. It says “Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.” In the past I just skimmed over that because I did not like the word meek. So what does this word mean?

The dictionary defines the word meek as humble, patient or docile, overly submissive or compliant; spiritless; tame; gentle, kind. I don’t know about you, but I do not like some of those words. Another definition from Character First is “Yielding my personal rights and expectations with a desire to serve.” That is a little better.

If you study the life of Jesus, you will discover that Jesus was meek, but in a very good way. Matthew 11:29 describes Jesus as gentle and humble in heart. Meekness is not weakness as many people think. Jesus was meek, yet He drove the money changers from the temple. Moses was meek (Numbers 12:3), yet he judged sinners and even faced Aaron with his sin. Meekness means not asserting my own rights, but living for the glory of God. Christians are to show meekness, because we are prone to be self-willed and selfish. When we have the attitude of meekness it stands out in a selfish world.

Being meek is really about our attitude toward others. Are we teachable, or do we think we know it all? Do we always get defensive and have to prove ourselves as right, or can we simply allow others to be right. There are times that we must defend ourselves, yet most of the time it is not helpful. There is a reason Jesus described meekness as an attitude that should be in our lives. There is a great inheritance for those that are meek. I love the Message version of Mathew 5:5 “You’re blessed when you are content with just who you are, no more no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought.”

There is something good about a person that is content with who they are. They are not trying to pretend to be someone they are not, or to impress other people. They are real. They think about how they can help and serve the people around them to make them better. They have compassion for people that are hurting and in need of help. They are generous with their time and listen intently to try to understand. They seem more interested in your life than their own when you talk with them. They are not judgmental in their attitude, but truly are interested in you as a person.

That is the kind of person we like to be around. That is how Jesus was, and people loved hanging out with him. This week I am going to work on this character quality of meekness. I am praying that I can have a greater desire to serve the people around me and make them feel important. I want to be humble in heart like Jesus was. How about you?

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Taking Inventory

I was having breakfast with a couple of guys this week and one of the guys started sharing about how he turned his business around and started making progress and profits. This is what he told me:

I decided one day that I would take inventory of everything we are doing and stop doing anything that did not make money. If I can’t can’t make it doing only those things, then I planned on closing my shop and doing something else.

This was risky, because he would be turning customers away if it did not fall into one of the remaining services he wanted to do. He actually started referring the jobs that where labor intensive, but not profitable to his competitors. Over the years this strategy worked well for him. It allowed him to become very good at the work they did. The quality of the work improved and the level of customer service improved as well. By narrowing the focus he was able to become much more profitable.

I happen to work at a church and we have the same sort of strategy. We use phrases like less is more and narrow the focus in our strategy conversations. As a church we are not trying to make a profit, but we are trying to be really effective at leading people into a growing relationship with Jesus Christ. If we get too distracted with all kinds of ministry (labor intensive) activity we become less effective at reaching people and helping them grow.

It also is the same in our relationships. What would happen if you would take an inventory of all your current behaviors and actions? What if today you decided to narrow the focus in your marriage or important relationships and throw out all the stuff that doesn’t help, like unforgiveness, anger, sarcasm, the silent treatment, defensiveness, hurtful words, neglect, fear. jealousy, procrastination and selfishness. What is you only allowed things like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, righteousness and self-control to be evident in your life.

You might think that is impossible, but with God it is possible. Invite God into your relationships and into your heart and ask him for those things to become your new inventory. When you do that your profits will start to increase and everyone around you will benefit. So what are you going to stop doing today, so that you can be more profitable later?

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A Hike In The Woods

The other day my wife and I were out hiking in the woods with her two nieces and nephew. They are visiting from Florida. As we were walking the trails they kept talking about who is leading. One would take the lead, but then the others would go a different direction or jump in front. At one point Emily told her sister Allison “if you want to lead you have to keep moving”. Allison was getting distracted with all the stuff around her and not leading us.

As I thought about that statement, I keep thinking how true it is. As a leader you have to keep moving. You are a leader if you have influence with anyone. It is vital that you can make decisions and keep your organization or your family moving forward. If you stop moving, people will pass you by. Others in your organization will start leading, your kids will start leading. As a leader you can’t get distracted by all the stuff around you. You have to keep thinking about where you are going and how to get there. Focus is vital and the more you narrow that focus the more effective you will be.

Where I work and lead, I am working hard at narrowing my focus. I can so easily get distracted with good causes and peoples emergencies and soon I am lost and treading water. What I will do to get back on the path is to get away for a few hours to think, plan and dream. If you don’t take time to think, plan and dream you will tend to stop moving and you simple manage what you have. It is the same in my marriage. If I want to lead well in my marriage I need to think, plan and dream about the kind of marriage I desire.

When I think about moving I also think about growing as a person. If you are not learning and stretching you are not moving. If you are trying to lead at work better, try finding someone that does something similar to you and interview them. Go find the top people in your business and learn from them. If you want to lead better in your marriage or with your kids, find someone that has been successful in that area and talk to them. Ask lots of questions and then try to implement some of the things you learn.

Are you moving or blocking the path? How can you make sure you are moving as a leader?

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Lesson Learned

I learned a lesson again the other day. I was feeling tired and down, my wife calls it being in a funk. Whatever it was I did not have my normal energy and drive. I was working out consistently and doing a lot of projects around the house, so I was physically worn down a little. But I was also low emotionally. I did not want to be around people and just wanted to be by myself. The part that I learned was on the spiritual side.

You see I had allowed myself to drift spiritually. I had not been praying as much and had not spent time alone with God getting recharged and refocused. I was trying to do everything on my own and I was worn out.

Well Friday came along and I had a couple of hospital visits to make. Part of my job as a pastor is to call on people that are in the hospital. I have others that help with this, but they were not available, so I had to go do it. So after I lunch I headed up to Canton. I did not know either of these folks, but they came to our church and had family that attended as well. So I start to pray as I drove up to Canton. As I prayed I felt myself getting stronger emotionally and spiritually and I actually got some new energy. I was not all the way back and was hoping this would be a quick trip though.

The first stop was to a lady that was waiting for heart surgery. She was by herself in the room and I was able to talk with her, pray with her and serve her communion. I could tell that she was so glad that I came. She could not hear very good, but her eyes told me how much it meant to her. She thanked me several times.

Next stop was another hospital and a guy that just had five bypasses on his heart. When I finally found his room he was sitting in a chair with his wife across the room. I spoke with him and heard how things had gone and how he was doing. I prayed for him and told him the best gift he can give his family is to know for sure where he will spend eternity. I encouraged them to come to Church when he was feeling better and they said they would. I could tell they both were so appreciative of the time I spent with them.

Then as I was leaving something strange happened. A lady was walking down the same hallway as I was and started talking to me. She was not sure how to get out of the hospital, so I told I was leaving and she could walk with me. As we got to the elevator she started telling me about her husband and how he had just had emergency surgery and it was worse than the thought. She was obviously under a lot of stress and as I listened to her I knew I was supposed to pray for her.

When we got outside she said I hope your situation is better than mine. I said I was just visiting someone from my church. She looked at me and asked if I would pray for her. I told her I would love to and we stood outside the hospital and prayed. I tried to encourage her as we walked to our cars and when I got in my car, I realized that is why I was supposed to do those visitations. God needed someone to encourage and pray for that woman and I was available.

So here is the lesson that I learned. Usually when we start to feel down and out and lose energy we assume it’s just a physical or emotional issue. I think it is only partly that. I think it is a spiritual issue. I believe we have an enemy that is trying to kill and destroy people. That funk I was in was partly a spiritual battle and I could have easily lost an opportunity to minister to some people in need. The next time you are feeling down, start praying and asking God for direction on how you can minister to someone in need. When you do that, it will bring great energy and fulfillment. Going and serving and helping people in need can help bring you back up.

When we start to fade away from God we can quickly lose focus and purpose. We start to do things in our own strength and get into all kinds of stress. When we plug into His power and strength we can do much more. Be encouraged, God loves us and wants to use us as His instruments in loving other people.

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Humility

Proverbs 18:12 says – Before his downfall a man’s heart is proud, but humility comes before honor.

Humility is something most people know is important yet few people really live it out. It is even more rare when you start looking at leaders. A while back I read the business book Good to Great by Jim Collins. The book was about good companies that became great companies according to certain criteria and sustained it for many years. It was a classic book that I have gone back to over and over again. Collins talks about leadership in that book and how the leaders of these great companies had some similarities. He called them level 5 leaders. The common theme in most of them was an unusual blend of Professional will (persistence) and personal humility.

That is a strange combination, yet it is vital to establish long, lasting, trustworthy leadership. The same could be said in relationships. A level 5 person in marriage for instance needs to be persistence yet humble. Persistent in working on themselves and the marriage and yet humble enough to love and serve the other person.

The Bible is filled with these type of leaders. People like Moses, David, Solomon, Nehemiah, Paul and the best example, Jesus.

One of the greatest coaches and leaders over the past 50 years was John Wooden, who just passed away at age 99. He was known for his humility, honesty and persistence. If you think about some of the most successful, respected leaders you know, many of them will have these two characteristics. I happen to work for one, Dwight Mason.

Here are some nuggets about humility:

  • A leader is no more important than his people, but his actions are.
  • No matter how much you achieve or how much acclaim you are given, you are still human and not a god.
  • Express sincere (not phony) appreciation for your followers. Where and who would you be without them?
  • Recognize the interdependence of yourself and all your followers; the head is useless without the arms and feet.
  • Honor the unique gifts of each member of your team.
  • As you rise higher, your mistakes have more impact and your need for a humble perspective actually increases.
  • Don’t hold people to standards you are not meeting yourself.
  • To humble oneself is risky, but it usually pays off in increased credibility.
  • A leader is “greater” than others insofar as she serves them.

Ken Blanchard said this at a conference I was at several years ago. “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking about yourself less.”

When you start to think more about the people around you and how you can serve them and make things better for them, you begin to be more humble. When you do the right thing because its right and not to get attention, you begin to be more humble. When you realize you are not in control and focus on developing your character and developing other people instead of trying to control them, you begin to be more humble. When you quickly admit your mistakes , ask for forgiveness and change your behavior, you are becoming more humble.

Therefore anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven – Jesus, Matthew 18:4

Lead and Serve!

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How Safe Are You?

Are your important relationships healthy? Here is a test you can take to see how healthy your marriage or other important relationships are doing. Be very honest in answering these and then score yourself.

How do you know if your key relationships feel safe with you?

Pick your most important relationship(s) and complete the follow sentence (fill in the blank with my spouse, my best friend, my children, my coworkers, my classmates, my teammates etc.)

___________________ probably feel(s)

Use this scale

5 Often, 3 Sometimes, 1 Never

  1. _____ I judge or criticize them.
  2. _____ I neglect to find them fascinating and I’m not curious to understand them when they are different from me.
  3. _____ I blame them for how I feel when they offend me or hurt my feelings.
  4. _____ I expect them to be my main source of joy and fulfillment.
  5. _____ I’m nervous when we are together because they seem to be afraid to open up and share their deepest feelings, suggestions and needs with me.
  6. _____ When I think out loud with them, I criticize them.
  7. _____ I neglect to be concerned about every area of their life.
  8. _____ I underestimate their value and where their priority is in my life.
  9. _____ They seem to be tense spending time with me.
  10. _____ I neglect to value their opinions, ideas, concerns, expectations, feelings and needs.
  11. _____ I neglect to value their physical, mental, emotional or spiritual uniqueness (gender, body type, personality).
  12. _____ I hesitate to trust their words and actions daily.
  13. _____ I like to dominate how they feel about themselves.
  14. _____ I neglect to praise them for what they do and say.
  15. _____ I neglect to repair relational damage quickly.
  16. _____ My anger is out of control with them.
  17. _____ I neglect to partner with them in finding win-win solutions to mutual problems or disagreements.
  18. _____ I resist the idea that we are on the same relational team.
  19. _____ I slack at working hard to have a loving and fulfilling relationship.
  20. _____ I have a hard time forgiving them when they offend me.

Scoring:
20-40 – Others feel safe with you. (The goal is to hit 20)
41-70 – You need improvement for others to feel safe with you.
71-100 – Others feel very unsafe with you.

Deep, satisfying and fulfilling friendships are more naturally developed when the relationship becomes safer each day. What can you do today to make your important relationships safe?

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Are You Creative?

Do you consider yourself to be creative? Some people do while others do not. I think it’s because we all have a different idea of what it means to be creative. I used to think being creative meant that you were artistic and could paint or draw or play music. As I have grown as a leader I am more convinced that some of the most creative people are the ones that do none of that.

People that are highly creative all have a bias toward action. They are constantly trying to come up with a better way of doing something. Improving systems, improving lives, improving communication, improving results. Creative people are like propellers, they keep things moving forward. Change is not the enemy, but something that is expected. Creative people are willing to take risks and they learn from failure.

Another thing that creative people do well, is they listen. If you don’t listen to other people and other ideas, you won’t get very far. By listening you can learn how to be relevant and how to connect with people. I happen to work at a church and we work hard at listening to what people are going through in their lives. The things we talk about are relevant because we are listening and willing to take risks by talking about things most churches avoid. We just finished a series on marriage called the Marriage Experts. We talked about things like sex, understanding men, understanding women, how to affair proof your marriage. We sold more Cd’s from this series than any series ever in our history.

I work with a team of very creative people at NewPointe Community Church. Our team is always looking for better ways to do the things we are doing. Creativity can only happen in an environment with a big vision. Ours is to change the world by helping people grow in their relationship with Jesus Christ.

Here is an example of something creative we are doing at NewPointe. It’s called Second Saturday Serve. The idea is that on the second Saturday of every month we mobilize a group of volunteers that go out into our communities and do projects. It can be simple things like cleaning up a park or trimming bushes for an elderly couple. It could be painting, weeding, cleaning out gutters, washing windows etc. The idea is to get people out in the community to serve. We focus on helping non-profit organizations and schools, but we also help individuals as we can. Our church has become known as the church that can help you.

That did not happen without some effort and creativity. We have closed the church on a Sunday in the past and sent everyone out to serve. We have sent teams to disaster areas to help clean up and rebuild. We have a program to help people with financial needs. We have a team of people that mentor others going through tough times. We have a team called Helping Hands that mobilizes skilled men and women to do home improvement projects. We have done over 50 projects over the past few years.

If NewPointe would cease to exist our community would notice. Can you say that about your organization or business. We have a long way to go and can get even better in a lot of ways. I am confident that we will do just that because we have a lot of creative thinkers on our team. If you want a challenge and want to grow then I encourage you to start getting creative and take some risks. Get involved with an organization that is making a difference and see how you can make a difference. If you want to get involved at NewPointe please contact me. You can connect with me on Facebook or Twitter.