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Four Worldview Questions

What is your take on the world around you? The way in which we see the world around us and the people in it, determine our belief system. It shapes the way we interpret life events, from the simple every day things (No milk for my cereal) to the terrible (a child killed in a car wreck). This take on life shapes our view of ourselves and others and what it means to have a meaningful life. Our take on the world shapes our beliefs, emotions and every day decisions. Each one of us is in a story that we live, moment by moment. We try to find meaning in things and try to find purpose in life.

We sometimes feel helpless and hopeless. We suffer because of the decisions of others. We hurt because of broken relationships. We hurt and suffer because of our own bad decisions. We have moments of happiness and great joy and moments of sadness and despair.

Everything that happens around us and too us goes through a filter or lens that shapes our perspective. The big question then is what lens will we use?

These four questions are a starting point to contemplate our worldview. Brian Walsh and J. Richard Middleton propose four basic worldview questions:

  1. Where are we? That is, what is the nature of the world in which we live?
  2. Who are we? Or, what is the essential nature of human beings?
  3. What’s wrong? That is, why is the world (and my life) in such a mess?
  4. What’s the remedy? Or, how can these problems be solved?

These questions, and how we answer them, form the backbone of how we interpret our personal stories. It determines how we view our relationships, our work, our families, our struggles, our circumstances and God.

I try to live with a Biblical lens. As a Christian this can be difficult at times because we are so influenced by the world around us. Many Christians do not have a Biblical Worldview, but one that takes several worldviews and meshes it into one that fits our lifestyle. That is why so many Christians get divorced, sue each other, act unethically at work, have affairs, have sex outside marriage, live together before marriage, judge others, look out for ourselves, spend more than they make, file bankruptcy, drink too much alcohol, explode in anger and I could go on and on.

Don’t get me wrong, just because you have a Biblical worldview does not mean you will not struggle and go through hardships. What it does mean is that you will respond in a different way when those things happen. It means you will make different decisions when facing tough circumstances. It means you look to what God has to say before you make decisions. It means you stay close to God and dig into Scripture for answers instead of the world around you. It means you see yourself as a saint, set apart as a child of God. A saint that may suffer hardships and illness and must fight against the temptations to sin.

We are in a bigger story, one being written by God and we get to play a part in that story. So what is your worldview or take on life?

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Empathy 101

Are you empathetic? That is a question I have had to ask myself lately. I have been studying this quality called empathy and have been challenged to work on improving this competency in myself.

Here are several definitions of empathy:

“A motivation oriented towards the other” – Daniel Batson

“To empathize means to share, to experience the feelings of another person” – R. R. Greenson

So empathy is to feel what another person feels and to be able to express that emotion yourself. This is a competency that when developed helps you to tune into the other person’s thoughts and feelings. The basic ability to recognize emotions is for most people something you learn as a child. It is almost an unconscious thing you do. Yet it is something that you can improve at and learn to increase accuracy and intensity.

Most people are more able and willing to empathize with people they like or know well. We tend to empathize best with the people closest to us. The more contact we have with someone the more likely we will be in tune with their emotions, unless of course we are not developing this competency.

Empathy is not sympathy. Empathy is more about feelings and sympathy is more about actions. You sympathize when you express how sorry or happy you are for them. If you are a highly empathetic person, you are most likely also sympathetic, but a person that is sympathetic and not empathetic can come across as shallow and will not connect emotionally. Their actions or words comes across as more of a conditioned response than a compassionate understanding.

Empathy has some benefits:

  • Empathy connects people together – you are more drawn to someone empathetic.
  • Empathy heals
  • Empathy builds trust

So how do you improve your empathy quotient? Here are a few things to consider:

  • Pay attention – Are you fully present when you are with people? Do you give people your full attention or are you thinking about your next task or appointment? Do you consciencely look for body language signals when talking with someone? Are you conscience of your own body language when you are interacting with someone?
  • Try to get a sense of actually being in the other persons shoes – What would it be like if this was my situation? What must it feel like to have grown up like they did?
  • Imagine the other person as a child – This can be very helpful for people that are irritating or threatening.
  • Ask questions – What was that like? How did you feel? How did you handle that?
  • Look beneath the surface – What does the other person most deeply want? What is broken in their lives?
  • Slow down – When you are running 100 MPH it is very hard to stop and be empathetic.

Of course empathy does not happen if you don’t care about people. Selfish people don’t empathize well. Many leaders struggle with this as well, because they are highly motivated and goal oriented. Empathy takes time and you almost need to go in slow motion to really empathize with someone. If you see the other person as a project, you cannot empathize well.

The best way to increase your ability to empathize with someone is to spend time meditating on God’s word. Meditation has been proven to increase your ability to focus and pay attention. So if you lack the ability to focus or pay attention, then extended times of meditation on God’s word could help you break through some big walls in your life.

To check your empathy Quotient click here

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Narrow the Focus

One of the philosophies of leadership that NewPointe Community Church has embraced is to narrow the focus. This has also been a person goal of mine as I try to improve my own leadership ability. So why would this be an important way to grow as a leader?

One of the ways a leader can become ineffective is when they become distracted. That happens when a leader is trying to spin too many plates at one time. When you try to lead multiple priorities you become less effective, because your mind must try to bounce from one priority to the next.

It can be the same way in our personal lives. When we are running it too many directions we feel less effective as parents, spouses and friends. The busier we become the more our important relationships suffer.

Paul talks about this in Philippians chapter 3. Paul openly communicated his priorities. All the achievements and culture of his past he counted as rubbish, in order to gain Christ. He wanted to know Christ, experience His power, share in and complete His sufferings, and ultimately be conformed to His death (Phil. 3:10,11). Here is a man on a mission. He narrowed his focus to the essentials. Leaders who change the world have this kind of sharp focus.

So what does it take to gain the focus required to become a truly effective leader? The keys are priorities and concentration. Author John Maxwell says “A leader who knows his priorities but lacks concentration knows what to do, but never gets it done. A leader with concentration but no priorities has excellence without progress.” When a leader can do both of these well he can achieve some great things.

Paul did three things:

  1. He discerned what was holding him back – In other words he learned to let go of some things he once cherished, because they were distracting him from the most important things. Sometimes we need to say no to some really good things in order to do the best things. We also need to look at any bad habits that are holding us back as well.
  2. He discovered what he wanted – Paul’s burning desire was a close relationship with Christ. That became his solitary pursuit. He accomplished some great things with that as his main focus in life. He became a great leader, writer, and visionary communicating the Good News about Jesus to the world.
  3. He determined how to get it – He put together a strategy of narrowing his focus and concentrating on the main thing as much as he possibly could.

So here are some takeaways for all of us to improve our focus:

  1. Work on Yourself – You are your greatest asset, so you need to spend a good bit of your time working on your own growth. Leaders that stop learning and growing don’t make an impact on the world around them. Great leaders have a personal growth plan.
  2. Work on your Priorities – Can you name your top 3 priorities in your life? Does what you say and what you do line up? When was the last time you wrote down the top three priorities in each of the important areas of your life (Family, God, Work, Community, School, Friendship). Great leader know their top priorities and look at them daily.
  3. Work on your Strengths – It is very hard to improve your areas of weakness. That is why it is so important to know your strength and surround yourself with people that are strong in your areas of weakness. Write down your top three strengths and then list three ways you can work on those areas. Great leaders know and work within their areas of strength.
  4. Work with your colleagues – Team leadership is by far more effective than leading on your own. Build the team around you whether at work, home, church or community. When you invest in other people you build relationships that can help you accomplish the important things. Great leaders develop other people.

How can you narrow the focus in your life? What do you need to stop doing? What do you need to start doing? What do you need to do more of? What are your priorities? What do you need to concentrate on?

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What is Mentoring?

I have been involved in mentoring for a number of years now. I have been mentored by others and I have mentored others. This is a passion of mine because I have benefited from having some key people in my life and pivotal times that have directed me, encouraged me and challenged me.

So what is mentoring? Here are a couple of good definitions that I think describe mentoring well:

  • Mentoring is a relational experience through which one person empowers another by sharing God-given resources. – Paul Stanley & Robert Clinton
  • Mentoring is a relationship in which a mentor helps a protege reach his/her God-given potential. – Bob Biehl

A mentor helps a mentee in some specific ways by having the:

  • Ability to readily see potential in a person
  • Tolerance with mistakes, brashness, abrasiveness and the like in order to see that potential developed
  • Flexibility in responding to people and circumstances
  • Patience, knowing that time and experience are needed for development
  • Perspective, having vision and ability to see down the road and suggest the next steps that a mentee needs
  • Gifts and abilities that build up and encourage others
  • Timely words of counsel and insight
  • Resources such as letters, articles, books, websites, etc.

Tim Elmore shares this simple word picture in describing what mentoring is all about. A little boy and his dad were walking down a rocky road one evening. After stumbling and falling to the ground, the boy looked up at his father and said, “Dad, why don’t you watch where I am going?”

Mentoring is about watching where others are going, and I would go a little further and say that it is helping the other person develop to the point that they can watch where they are going on their own and eventually watch where others are going themselves.

A successful mentor is going to be a:

  • Guide
  • Encourager
  • Resource
  • Evaluator
  • Provider
  • Coach

If you have an interest in becoming a mentor, I would encourage you to start praying about it. I believe that many of the experiences you have gone through happen so that you can in turn mentor others through similar experiences. NewPointe Community Church has an active mentoring ministry. Every Monday night at NewPointe mentors are meeting with mentees.

If you would like to join our mentoring team at NewPointe, please send an email me at cstutzman@newpointe.org

If you are interested in being mentored, you can email mentor@newpointe.org or call 330.602.2699 to make an appointment.

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How to Grow your Faith, Character & Leadership

My personal mission statement I have tried to follow the last 10 years is “Growing in Faith, Character and Leadership. Most people would probably say they also want to grow in these areas of their lives. What I have learned is that I cannot grow in these areas on my own. I can learn about these areas, but to grow and actually live it out, I can only do that with the help of Christ.

In John Chapter 15 Jesus talks about the vine and the branches. He is the Vine and we are the branches that produce fruit. Jesus talks about remaining or abiding in Him in order to bear fruit. In other words if we stay joined to or close to Christ, He produces fruit in our lives. The key is to stay close to Him, to stay connected to Him.

Abiding or remaining in Christ is just another name for intimacy with Christ. He wants to express His life through us, which comes through your attachment to Him. If our prayer life is just a matter of shooting up an occasional SOS as emergencies come up, we are missing that intimacy or closeness. If we just have our devotions in the morning in order to get it done and check it off our list, we don’t understand abiding.

In order to stay connected or close to Christ we must first understand how much He loves us. That should be our focus, love. Later in this same chapter Jesus says, “Love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friends. You are my friends when you do the things I command you.”

Our faith, our character and our leadership can only grow if we stay close to Christ. When we submit to Him and talk to Him on a regular basis. When we regularly read, listen or speak His words from the Bible. When we spend time worshiping Him and soaking up His love, we grow. When we meditate or focus on Jesus some amazing things start to happen in our lives. We have more wisdom, strength, courage, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, righteousness and self-control.

So if you are looking to grow in your faith, character, leadership or other areas of your life, the best thing you can do is focus on Christ and discover how much He loves you. We cannot manufacture Character, Christ produces it when we stay close to Him. We cannot love our spouse unconditionally, but Christ can through us. We cannot lead people as we should, but Christ can direct us and lead through us. We cannot have great faith on our own, but Christ can grow our faith when we stay close to Him. When we are close to Him, we see things more like He sees them and He can do things in us we could never do on our own.

I can’t but He can, should be our prayer every day.

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Next Generation Mentoring Group

I will be starting a new mentor group on Saturday September 4th. Here is some info on what it is all about. The deadline to apply is this Wednesday August 18th. I only have a few openings left.

>Our church is embracing a Married Men’s group model called Next Generation Mentoring that pairs high-potential men with a more senior, more mature mentor for 10 months with the goal of pointing them toward a fully integrated Christian Life. The result is the life-on-life application of biblical and scriptural principles as the Mentor shares his experiences, successes, failures, and insights to the group.

What it’s not

NGM isn’t for everyone. This is NOT a Bible study. It’s NOT an accountability group. It’s NOT a community group. This is a Mentor-led small group that involves reading (a book per month), memorization (two scriptures per month), transparency, and a willingness to change.

Vision

The vision is to help younger Christian men live God-centric lives, fulfill their God-given potential, and to become mentors to the next generation.

Topics of Study

Understanding who we are in God’s eyes

Deciphering how we can excel in our work, at home, and in our communities

Establishing priorities, work/ life balance

Dealing with sexual temptation

Making good decisions

Leadership and Godly character

Relating to our wives

Raising children

Knowing what it means to have a vibrant, living relationship with Jesus Christ

Are you interested?

Requirements

  • Married career men ages late 20s- early 40s
  • Hopes of children; or Parent to kids under 12
  • Self-objective people: folks who are willing to take direct, pervasive feedback without being defensive; a willingness to look themselves in the mirror and make changes to improve
  • Broken people: hungry for personal growth
  • Passionate commitment to the Lord Jesus Christ
  • Willingness to replicate the process at least once and be a mentor to others in the future
  • Cost: $200.00 fee up front for all books, materials, scripture memory cards, and all other content

Disclaimer: This is not for the overly-committed. We also have some limited scholarships available if money is an issue.

At-A-Glance

Who: 8 guys, 1 Mentor

What: read 1 book/ month, memorize 2 Scripture/ month, fully participate in all meetings and discussions

When: 8 three-hour sessions and 2 retreats over 10 months

Where: NewPointe Community Church Dover campus

Why: growth and maturity

How: apply online here

Cut-off date for applications is August 18th, 2010.

Attendance at Launch day Saturday September 4th at 8am is mandatory. No exceptions.

It will take about 15 minutes to complete the application. You will be asked to indicate your acceptance of the NGM Covenant as part of the on-line application, as will your wife. So it’s important that you talk through the commitment with her before you begin the application. A copy of the covenant is attached for you and your wife to review.

Link to Apply: http://www.nextgenmentoring.com/mentoree_signup.php?cid=30

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Questions to Ask Yourself

While I was on my run today some questions kept coming to my mind. Maybe these questions will get you thinking as well.

  • What motivates me the most?
  • What are the three most important people in my life?
  • If I could change one thing about myself, I would change…
  • Have I been totally honest with the people closest to me?
  • Do I have something I feel like I cannot share with anyone?
  • What do I need to do to improve my leadership ability by 5%?
  • Who do I need to spend more time with?
  • Who do I need to spend less time with?
  • In what areas of my life do I feel like I am struggling?
  • Who do I need to confront? Who do I need to apologize to?

When we ask ourselves questions like this it forces us to do an evaluation of where we are and where we want to be. The key to a successful life is that you are growing, learning and changing in a positive way. When you are humble enough to realize you can always improve and get better no matter where you are, then you can achieve amazing things.

I try to do this several times a year. Take a moment and think about these questions and write down some of your thoughts. Put in some action steps and then go and do it.

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Are You Stagnate?

I have been thinking about some of the things that have influenced my spiritual growth over the years. I must say that there have been many people, events and experiences that have influenced me on my journey. One that was significant for me was a small group Bible Study that I did called Crown Financial Ministries.

There mission statement is “Teaching people God’s financial principles in order to know Christ more intimately and to be free to serve Him.”

I was a banker at the time and interested in money and what God’s perspective was on money and possessions. I went to some training and came back to NewPointe and started my first Crown small group. I ended up leading many groups through this material and I found that I grew a lot during those years. The principles I learned are still with me today.

The group study forced me to lead by example and one of the requirements was to memorize a Scripture every week for 12 weeks. You also had to have your homework done or you could not participate.

To this day I still have many close friends as a result of this small group experience. Building community with other people and learning about what God has to say about our finances helped me to grow in my faith. Those 12 verses I memorized still jump out at me every time I read them, see them or hear them used in a message. I thought I would share them with you today.

  • “If therefore you have not been faithful in the use of worldly wealth, who will entrust the true riches to you?” Luke 16:11
  • “Everything in the heavens and earth is yours O Lord, and this is your kingdom. We adore you as being in control of everything. Riches and honor come from you alone, and you are the Ruler of all mankind; your hand controls power and might and it is at your discretion that men are made great and given strength.” 1 Chronicles 29:11-12
  • “Moreover, it is required in stewards that a man be found faithful.” 1 Corinthians 4:2
  • “Just as the rich rule over the poor, so the borrower is servant to the lender.” Proverbs 22:7
  • “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but the wise man is he who listens to counsel.” Proverbs 12:15
  • “You shall not steal, nor deal falsely, nor lie to one another.” Leviticus 19:11
  • “Remember the words of the Lord Jesus, that He Himself said. ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.” Acts 20:35
  • “Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men; knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve.”
  • “The wise man saves for the future, but the foolish man spends whatever he gets.” Proverbs 21:20 and “Steady plodding brings prosperity; hasty speculation brings poverty.” Proverbs 21:5
  • “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6
  • “For I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:11-13
  • “For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and forfeit his soul?” Mark 8:36

I will soon be starting a new journey with 8 guys in a new Mentoring group I am starting in September. We will be reading a book a month and memorizing 2 Scriptures together for 10 months. Just like the Crown group was an important growth time for me, this mentoring group will also be a growth time for me as I pour into these 8 guys.

Growth doesn’t usually happen by accident. You need to be intentional about it. You also need to step out of your comfort zone by doing some difficult things. Start thinking, praying and planning how you will grow spiritually over the next 12 months.

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The Happiness Sucker

“Worry is to joy, what a vacuum cleaner is to dirt; you might as well attach your heart to a happiness sucker and flip the switch.” Max Lucado said that, and it makes sense. Worry is focused negative thinking and it can get the best of us. Before we know it we are consumed with a certain problem or issue. It’s all we can think about and it sucks up our time, our thoughts, our energy and our joy.

Jesus tells us “give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.”

We don’t know what the future holds, but we do know the One who holds the future.

Have you discovered the difference between problems and facts? Problems are things we can do something about; we can solve problems. Facts are things we can do nothing about; therefore we do well not to worry about them. We should apply energy only to those things we can change. We can feel peace and act with poise, because we no longer beat our heads against an unbreakable wall, when we stop worrying and start trusting. When we stop worrying and focus on how we can change through this hardship.

Whatever you are facing today, know that God has promised to walk with you, to give you strength when you need it, courage and wisdom at just the right time. But that can only happen if we are giving our entire attention to what God is doing. So don’t allow worry to suck all the joy out of your life. Try some focused positive thinking for a change and see what happens.

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Falling in Love

If you fell in love with someone, you most likely will fall out of love with them at some point. If you choose to love someone you most likely will stay in love with them. Falling in love is an emotional thing, and you are blinded when you are emotional.

Usually when you fall it is because you tripped over something or didn’t see something. Falling also can be painful, but it reminds you to pay attention to the things around you.

In relationships it is vital to not let your emotions blind you into making wrong decisions. That is one reason you should never rush into a relationship. Take the time to build the relationship and develop more than an emotional or physical connection with the person.

Listen to what Jesus said about marriage – “Not everyone is mature enough to live a married life. It requires a certain aptitude and grace. Marriage isn’t for everyone…if your capable of growing into the largeness of marriage, do it.” Matthew 19:11-13

Not everyone is mature enough to have healthy relationships in their lives. Maturity has nothing to do with age in this case. It has to do with your attitude and willingness to grow.

I’ve been married for 21 years and both my wife and I have had to change and grow a lot over the years. We have had to re-invent ourselves and our marriage several times. There are constant adjustments to make in communication, conflict resolution and problem solving.

If you are married or thinking about getting married, there needs to be a moment where you choose to love the other person. Then it is a daily decision to keep loving that person no matter what. It can’t be an emotional kind of love that is superficial, it needs to be a deeper heart level commitment. If your falling for someone, you better be careful about the decisions you are making.

Loving people is not easy, especially when you are living together in marriage. There are times when you do not feel like loving because you are hurting and broken. That is why it is so vital to have a healthy active relationship with God. He is the only one that can help you love your spouse and other people like you should. The more you look to God for your ability to love the more loving you will become.