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Getting Results

results

If your in any kind of leadership position, whether leading your family or a major corporation, you want to be productive and get results.  You want to see your family communicate and grow closer together and for your children and spouse to develop and grow.  You want your company to be profitable and your employees to succeed.  You want to deliver on what you promise.

There is always resistance to getting results or productivity. Every day we wake up and that resistance is there to greet us.  Here are some of things we must face everyday and overcome in order to be productive and get results.

  • Procrastination – we can over-analyzing things, and talking ourselves out of doing something. We convince ourselves that we will do it later.
  • Interruptions – every day we have distractions.  Things that are urgent, things that pop up, people that pop in and bunny trails we pursue.
  • Stress – The higher the level of stress the harder it is to function, make decisions and get results.  Stress limits our thinking and allows emotions to overcome us.
  • Multitasking – No one can actually multitask.  Some people are better at jumping from one thing to another, but when you do that, you are distracted and end up not doing either thing well.  You also don’t tend to finish things.
  • Blaming Others – When you start blaming other people it shifts the focus onto things you cannot control.  It also distracts you from seeing how you contributed to the problem or allowed it to happen.
  • Fear – fear can stop us in our tracks and feeds all of the things I mentioned above. Fear of failure, rejection, being misunderstood, not being good enough – those are just a few of the fears that greet us daily.

So what can we do to overcome these forms of resistance and be productive on a consistence basis?

  1. Commit to Excellence – whatever you do, do it the best you can.  This is not perfection but doing it right and not cutting corners. When you do it right the first time, you don’t have to go back and do it over later.
  2. Plan – This is probably the most important step.  Putting a plan together with clear, specific goals and timelines will help get results.
  3. Focus – People that have the ability to block out all the resistance and distractions and focus for an hour at a time on a project get great results.  To keep that focus, take frequent breaks and refresh your mind, then come back to the project.
  4. Do the Hard thing first – If your facing a difficult conversation, complicated problem or hard task, tackle it right away.  The faster you accomplish that hard thing, the more productive you will be the rest of the day.
  5. Stick with it – people that get results have the ability to hang in there and keep at it until it’s finished.  It’s having the tenacity to work through all the obstacles and keep focused on the bigger picture.  It’s showing up every day and doing what needs to be done.

Everyone can improve in this area of productivity and getting results.  Think about one thing that if you finished it would bring great results or move you further along as an individual, family or organization.  Now go do it.

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Above the Line

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Being healthy emotionally is hard work.  It’s easy to fall into a victim mentality and feel like everyone is against you.  In their book The Oz Principle, Roger Connors, Tom Smith and Craig Hickman give some clues on when we are stuck in the victim cycle or living below the line.

  • You feel “held captive” by your circumstances
  • You feel you have no control over your present circumstances
  • You find yourself blaming others and pointing fingers
  • Your discussions of problems focus more on what you cannot do, rather than what you can
  • You fail to confront the toughest issues you face
  • You find yourself being “sought out” by others so they can tell you what someone else did to them this time
  • You find yourself unwilling to ask probing questions about your own accountability
  • You repeatedly find yourself in a defensive posture
  • You site your confusion as a reason for not taking action
  • You avoid people, the meetings, and the situations that require you to report on your responsibilities
  • You find yourself spending valuable time crafting a compelling story detailing why you were not at fault
  • You repeatedly tell the same old story about how someone took advantage of you
  • You view the world with a pessimistic attitude

So how do we avoid this victim mentality?  How do we get unstuck from these destructive patterns and habits.  The keys are taking responsibility for your own actions and bringing accountability into your life.

According to the authors you can improve your own ability to remain “above-the-line” by watching for the following clues that indicate accountable attitudes and behavior.

  • You invite candid feedback from everyone about your own performance
  • You never want anyone, including yourself, to hide the truth from you
  • You readily acknowledge reality, including all its problems and challenges
  • You don’t waste time or energy on things you cannot control or influence
  • You always commit yourself 100 percent to what you are doing, and if your commitment begins to wane, you strive to rekindle it
  • You “own” your circumstances and your results, even when they seem less than desirable
  • You recognize when you are dropping “below the line” and act quickly to avoid the traps of the victim cycle
  • You delight in the daily opportunity to make things happen
  • You constantly ask yourself the question, “What else can I do to rise above my circumstances and get the results I want?”

Whether at work or at home staying above the the line of accountability is vital to emotional and relational health.  When we are below the line we ignore or deny reality, we say it’s not my fault or my job, we point fingers, we say we are confused, we cover our tails and we wait & see.  When we are above the line we see the issue, we own our part, we work on a solution and we take action on what we can control.

Make a commitment today to be more accountable and responsible in all your relationships.  Work at staying above the line and don’t focus on things that are out of your control.  Focus on your own thoughts and behaviors and own your part of the problem.  Get help and counsel from others to help keep you above the line.  If you do that you will grow in character and leadership and be much healthier all the way around.

 

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Lessons From Sheep Shearing

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I was watching some video’s on how to shear sheep.  It’s pretty interesting, but I’m not ready to give it a try.  If you want to watch click here. The reason I was watching the video’s is that I had heard that sheep have to be sheared before summer or they could actually die from the heat.  So I started researching this to find out more.

The first time a sheep is sheared it puts up quite a fight and I am sure feels like its in danger.  However once they experience what its like after being sheared they are much more cooperative the next time.  They soon discover that without all that wool it’s much cooler and they don’t get sick as easily.  So the next time they sit quietly while the shearing happens, because they know they are not going to be hurt, but helped.

As I was thinking about that I realized that many of us need to be sheared as well.  We have weaknesses that cause us to fail and struggle and overheat/stress out.  We need to have the layers of sin, bad attitudes, hurts and hang-ups cut away.  But when someone tries to do that we fight and kick and are scared or angry.  You see we can’t shear ourselves, we need the help of other people.  Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”  That is the point of accountability, caring enough about another person to respectfully shear away the layers of life.

If you want to be sheared here are three things that must happen:

  1. Take responsibility and admit your weakness – You are the only one that can decide to change or allow someone to shear you.  It takes humility and self-awareness to take this first step, but without doing this nothing will change.  I believe this is only possible with Gods help, by asking him to reveal the things we need to own and shear, and then asking for the courage to take responsibility.
  2. Raise your expectations for yourself – We talk ourselves into and out of a lot of things.  Over the years we tend to lower our standards and accept things we would not have before.  In 1 Peter 1:13-16 it says this “So roll up your sleeves, put your mind in gear, be totally ready to receive the gift that’s coming when Jesus arrives. Don’t lazily slip back into those old grooves of evil, doing just what you feel like doing. You didn’t know any better then; you do now. As obedient children, let yourselves be pulled into a way of life shaped by God’s life, a life energetic and blazing with holiness. God said, ‘I am holy; you be holy.'”  So don’t settle for mediocre, God has a greater purpose and plan for your life.
  3. Find a trusted partner – If you really want to change and be sheared, you will need some trusted friends to help along the way.  Shearing is not a one time thing, it needs to be done over and over again.  It’s the same with us, we need to be held accountable over and over again.  That’s why we all need some people that we can confess too, that we can listen too, that we can talk too.  If you don’t have someone like this in your life start praying and ask God to bring the right people into your life that can be on your shearing team.  Remember after the shearing you will feel so much better, after the confession is great freedom.

The cool thing about this whole process is that when you allow someone else to sharpen you or shear you, you can in turn sharpen and shear them.  That only happens when you you are open and honest.  If you hide your stuff it can’t get sheared.  Happy shearing!

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Easter

This time of the year is an exciting time as new life springs up with the warmer weather, at least in Ohio.  Easter is also an exciting time for Christians as we celebrate Jesus Christ.  As we prepare for Easter 2014 I thought I would share some thoughts on the significance of what Jesus did that causes us to be celebrating over 2,000 years later.

  1. Jesus died in our place – This is known as substitution, Jesus subbed in for us.  He took our punishment for us.  The Bible tells us in 2 Corinthians 5:21 “He was made sin for me.” and in 1 Peter 2:24 “He bore my sin in his body on the cross.”  What happened on the cross was personal.  Jesus the perfect, sinless Son of God had your sin put on him.  All the garbage, all the junk and ugliness he assumed it all.
  2. Jesus made us right with God – This is known as justification or in legal terms we were acquitted and found not guilty by God the Judge.  Acts 13:39 says “Through him (Jesus) everyone who believes is justified from everything you could not be justified from by the law of Moses.”
  3. Jesus made peace with God possible – This is known as reconciliation, which means bringing together two people who have suffered a breakdown in their relationship.  Jesus, by his death on the cross, gave us the opportunity to have our relationship with God healed and renewed.  2 Corinthians 5:19 says “God was in Christ, making peace between our world and himself…God did not hold the world guilty of its sins.  And he gave us this message of peace.”  So Jesus created a new bridge between us and God that had been broken.
  4. Jesus made us a part of God’s family – This is known as adoption, meaning God went through a lot in order to bring us into his family.  He considers us as his own children.  In Romans 8:17 it says “And since we are his children, we will share his treasures-for all God gives to his Son Jesus is now ours too.”
  5. Jesus purchased our salvation with his blood – This is known as redemption, which means being set free.  In 1 Peter 1:18-19 it says this “God paid a ransom to save you from the impossible road to heaven which your fathers tried to take, and the ransom he paid was not mere gold or silver, as you very well know. But he paid for you with the precious lifeblood of Christ, the sinless, spotless Lamb of God.”
  6. Jesus satisfied God’s justice – This is known as propitiation which means that Jesus completely satisfied or fulfilled all of God’s righteous demands.  God demands holiness and perfection and Jesus satisfied that demand.  in 1 John 2:2 it says “He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for our sins but also for the sins of the whole world.”
  7. Jesus sent our sins away from us – This means forgiveness.  In Colossians 2:13 it says “When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins.”  God put all of our sins on Jesus, even though he was innocent and pure.  When our sins are put on him, we never see the guilt of them again.  God’s forgiveness is final and complete.

So there you have it, that is what Jesus Christ did for us.  That is why we celebrate so big during Easter, because all of this is amazing, unbelievable, undeserved and completely free.  Salvation is not by works but by grace, it’s not initiated by us but by God and its not an afterthought with God, it is his eternal plan.

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Healing

wholeness

In 2 Chronicles chapter 7 God appears to Solomon.  Solomon has just finished building this magnificent temple of the Lord.  He has had tremendous success all along the way.  His father David had prepared the way for this to happen and now Solomon has accomplished this huge project for God.  They have been celebrating for 7 days and people are coming form all over the world to see this amazing temple and to worship God.  Solomon and others have been praying and preparing and then Solomon hears from God.

In verse 12 it says “The Lord appeared to him at night and said: I have heard your prayer and have chosen this place for myself as a temple for sacrifices.”  God goes on to say “When I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain, or command locusts to devour the land or send a plague among my people.”  This is interesting because God is saying that hardship has and will come our way.  He says when things go badly, when sickness strikes, when hard times come, I am going to tell you what to do.  This is verse 14: “if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.”

So no matter what happens to us, if we are in God’s family, whether success, failure, sickness, heart break, tragedy or loss.  If we humble ourselves, pray and seek God and turn from our wicked ways, God will hear us and forgive us and heal us.

So how does that translate for today.  Jesus came and was the final sacrifice for our sins, so we don’t need a temple to make sacrifices anymore.  Jesus paid for all our sins and gave us a clear path to heaven.  If we believe in Jesus Christ and follow him, we are now the temple that God can live in.  This verse in 2 Chronicles still applies today though for God’s people.  I believe this is about God being more concerned about our spiritual & emotional health than our happiness or even our physical well being.

So here is the principle:  If our daily focus is to remain humble and not be filled with pride and ego.  Thinking less about ourselves and more about God and others.  If our tendency or habit is to pray and seek God in any and every situation.  If we routinely repent or turn away from our sins, bad attitudes, negative thinking and the things that pollute our minds and hearts.  God promises to forgive us continually and immediately and take our burdens and worries from us.  And this leads to healing and wholeness.

The bottom line is that God wants us to trust him and depend on him for everything.  He wants us to turn away from the things that pull us down and turn to him who lifts us up.  It’s about becoming more like Jesus Christ who trusted God fully and completely and turned to him throughout his life here on earth.

So God is still in the healing business.  He wants us to be healthy and whole in every way and he wants to be the main focus in our lives, he wants us to worship him alone.  No matter what comes our way he is with us, for us and in us and he wants to forgive us and heal us.  God wants to free us from the hurts and damaging emotions that fill us up and tear us down.  He wants to free us from the lies and deception and fears that keep us locked up and in bondage.  He wants to heal our land, which is every part of us, not just our bodies.

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The Power of Forgiveness

One of the most powerful and helpful things we can do to be healthy emotionally, physically and spiritually, is to practice forgiveness.  Forgiveness enables a person to release buried anger, resentment, bitterness, shame, grief, regret, hate and other damaging emotions that live inside of us.  Forgiveness releases layers and years of hurt and begins the healing process.  Forgiveness leads to an ability to love well.

It is important to know what forgiveness is and what it is not.

  • Forgiveness is not forgetting – Forgetting is a long-term by-product of forgiveness.  Once you choose to forgive someone, then healing and forgetting the hurt can start to happen.
  • Forgiveness is a choice – Everyone can choose to forgive, but typically we don’t feel like forgiving, because we like to hold onto our anger or resentment in order to protect ourselves.  When we don’t forgive we stay chained to our past.  Nobody can fix your past, but you can be free from it, it is your choice.
  • Forgiveness is agreeing to live with the consequences of another person’s sin – We all have had someone hurt us and we can either live in the bondage of bitterness or the freedom of forgiveness.  No one gets off God’s hook, we all have to give an account for our actions and there are always consequences for our actions.
  • Forgive from the heart – Just saying the words I forgive you is not enough.  It’s important to bring back up the painful emotions and memories of the person that hurt you so that those emotions can be healed and not buried.
  • Forgiveness is choosing not to hold someone’s sin against him or her anymore – This does not mean that you put up with abuse, we all need healthy boundaries and there are consequences for sin.  This means that we won’t bring up old offenses after forgiving someone.  Remember that God freely forgives us and does not hold our sins against us.
  • Don’t wait until you feel like forgiving – Most people will never get there.  Make the hard choice to forgive, even if you don’t feel like it.  Once you choose to forgive, the hold on you is broken and God can start healing your damaged emotions.

We should never base our decision to forgive on a person’s good behavior compensating for previous hurtful behavior.  Forgiveness is something that happens inside of you, it comes from your desire to forgive for the sake of forgiving.  Waiting until a person is worthy of forgiveness will feed your damaged emotions and cause further hurt.

Always remember that it takes only one person to forgive, but it takes two people to reconcile.  You can forgive a person even if they don’t forgive you, but reconciliation always requires the wills of both parties involved.

There is so much more to forgiveness than what is covered here.  Some of the principles I covered come from Neil Anderson and his booklet called Steps to Freedom in Christ.  If your having a hard time making the choice to forgive, ask God to help you.  He can give you the strength to do it.

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Encouragement is Incredible

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Being positive and encouraging people is more important than you might think.  If you want to turn around your workplace, your company, your marriage or your relationship with your children this is the way to do it.  Here are some interesting quotes from a great book called How Full Is Your Bucket by Tom Rath:

  • The number #1 reason people leave their jobs (relationships) is they don’t feel appreciated
  • Bad bosses (spouses) could increase the risk of stroke by 33%
  • A study found that negative employees can scare off every customer they speak with-for good
  • 65% of Americans received no recognition in the workplace (home) last year
  • 9 out of 10 people say they are more productive when they’re around positive people
  • The magic ratio: 5 positive interactions for every 1 negative interaction
  • Extending longevity: Increasing positive emotions could lengthen life span by 10 years

So it’s clear that the majority of people don’t get the positive reinforcement they need.  I believe this is true at work and at home.  Some people are just naturally more positive than negative, but all of us can get better at this.  Here are a few simple things you can do this week to be more positive or encouraging:

  1. Say Thank-you – this simple gesture goes a long way.  Be sincere and specific.
  2. Write a note – hand-written notes take time and are more meaningful than emails or texts
  3. Smile – your face matters
  4. Listen – when you actively listen people feel valued
  5. Slow down – Take some time to actually get to know someone or have a meaningful conversation
  6. Touch – a high-five, knuckle-bump, touch on a shoulder etc sends positive signals.  With your spouse this could be a hug, kiss, holding hands etc.

One thing to be aware of as you work on being positive is to be careful what you are taking in.  What you watch on TV, what you read, what you listen to, all affect how positive or negative you are.  Feed your mind positive good things and you tend to be more positive to other people.

Lead On

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Surprised & Inspired

 

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God has a way of surprising and inspiring us in the most unexpected ways.  I am on a weekend retreat for men that run Radical Mentoring Groups.  I’ve done three of these groups and love it each time I do a group.  I’m meeting up with over 100 other men that are doing these types of groups across the country.  We are gathering in Cleveland GA, which is north of Atlanta near the mountains.

When I arrived I discovered that I had some extra time before the retreat started, so I decided to drive up into the mountains and do some sight seeing.  I found a park area and decided to do a little hiking.  The weather was sunny and near 50 degree’s.  For people in GA that’s really cold but for me it was perfect.  I was the only one at the park and had the trails to myself.

I decided to do some running and got my heart rate up as I climbed up to an amazing waterfall.  I then turned around and headed back another way and found a second waterfall.  As I was there I started talking to God and asked him why I was here and had this extra time.  Then it hit me hard – God was telling me he loved me!  As I stood in the middle of this amazing wooded area I was struck by God’s goodness and was humbled at the gift he gave me of free time to just enjoy his creation and talk with him.  The sense of how much he loved me stopped me in my tracks.

I asked him what else he wanted to tell me and I heard some simple things, here they are:

  • Love your wife and treat her well – You can do better
  • Mentor and invest more time in the young men you have influence with
  • Talk to me more often and find time to listen

So that’s the start of this retreat, I can’t wait for the rest of the weekend.  I am anticipating that God has something more for me this weekend.

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How to Build Trust and Influence People

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Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about trust.  Building trust with the people around you is one of the most important things you can do.  Building trust raises your level of influence and leads to more productivity and closer relationships.  When trust is broken, relationships shatter and it takes time to mend and rebuild that trust.

One of the greatest assets a person can have is the trust of the people around them.  That only happens if you work at it and develop it and don’t do things to lose it.  This is where character comes into play in leadership.  It may sound simple, but to build trust you must be trustworthy.

 

Building Trust takes intentional work and skill, here are some things you can do to build trust at work, at home, or anywhere you have influence:

 

• Listen and ask questions in order to understand the other person’s interests, needs and concerns.  Even repeating back what they just said.

 

• Make and meet commitments consistently.  Do what you say you will do.

 

• Identify and communicate shared interests and goals.  Find out what dreams and goals the other person has.

 

• Identify and clearly communicate differences as appropriate.  Explain the why behind your decisions.

 

• Honestly acknowledge when you have made a mistake or hurt someone, clarify intentions, and find a suitable remedy that affirms the value of the relationship. Basically you work to resolve conflict and seek and give forgiveness.

 

• Use a win-win approach to resolving conflicts or conducting negotiations.

 

• Develop, maintain, and strengthen relationships by spending adequate time with people getting to know them better and allowing them to get to know you better.  Taking a risk and being transparent with the other person opens the door to trust.

 

• Demonstrate honesty, keep commitments and behave in a consistent manner.

 

• Think about how to clearly communicate thoughts, feelings and rationale so that others understand your personal positions.

 

• Remain open to others’ ideas and opinions even when they conflict with your own.

Openness and honesty always lend substance and credibility to our character, which leads to greater trust.  When trust is present, the relationship is closer and healthier.

It’s important to note that building trust also means telling people the truth even if it hurts.  It takes courage to speak the truth to people you care about.  That initial hurt often leads to healing and a healthier relationship.  Telling someone the truth can also help them grow and avoid making mistakes.

If you need to work at building trust, you must first lay all the cards on the table and admit your past mistakes.  Then you need to start the hard work or rebuilding by doing the things mentioned above.  Building trust takes time and energy while losing trust can happen instantly.  Everything we say and do is either building trust or losing trust.

Lead On

 

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Love in Action

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I’ve been thinking and studying this idea of love.  I have to say that I need to work on this area of my life.  I think most people would say they can do a better job of loving others.  But for most of us we don’t know what that looks like.  I work at a church so what I look to in order to learn and grow is God’s Word.  I was reading this today and it really struck me and challenged me.  I hope it does the same for you.  This is found in Romans 12:9-21 in the New Century Version of the Bible:

9 Your love must be real. Hate what is evil, and hold on to what is good. 10 Love each other like brothers and sisters. Give each other more honor than you want for yourselves. 11 Do not be lazy but work hard, serving the Lord with all your heart. 12 Be joyful because you have hope. Be patient when trouble comes, and pray at all times. 13 Share with God’s people who need help. Bring strangers in need into your homes.

14 Wish good for those who harm you; wish them well and do not curse them. 15 Be happy with those who are happy, and be sad with those who are sad. 16 Live in peace with each other. Do not be proud, but make friends with those who seem unimportant. Do not think how smart you are.

17 If someone does wrong to you, do not pay him back by doing wrong to him. Try to do what everyone thinks is right. 18 Do your best to live in peace with everyone. 19 My friends, do not try to punish others when they wrong you, but wait for God to punish them with his anger. It is written: “I will punish those who do wrong; I will repay them,”[a] says the Lord. 20 But you should do this:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him a drink.
Doing this will be like pouring burning coals on his head.” Proverbs 25:21–22

21 Do not let evil defeat you, but defeat evil by doing good.

Just that first sentence, your love must be real is enough for me today.  You can’t fake love.

Love is all about doing and taking action.  It’s about how we think about ourselves, others and God.  The best way we can worship God is by loving others well.