Category: Change

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Road Trip to Atlanta

 

I am on a trip to Atlanta GA to learn from some other leader’s at some well run high level churches.  I have spent the last couple of days hanging out with different leader’s, listening to their stories and asking them questions.  As a leader it is important to keep growing and getting better at what we do.  Taking the time and energy to go and meet with people on their turf is a great investment for yourself and your team.  Many times you can glean some nuggets of information that can lead to fresh ideas that can lead to improvements in your leadership and the organization you run.

Seeking out mentors is a great way to stretch yourself and get outside of your normal routine.  It forces you to think of questions to ask and to be more observant to your surroundings.

Here are some takeaways so far on this trip:

  • We are all struggling with similar issues.  In talking with these leader’s it was clear that they face many of the same problems and challenges that my team and I face.  This includes individually and corporately.  The scale is sometimes different, but the issues are the same.
  • Most people are very willing to share what they know and take the time to meet if you ask.  Many times we think that the people we admire from a distance are too busy to spend time with us.  You never know until you ask.  This trip has taught me to be a bit more bold in seeking out people I can learn from.  It also has challenged me to be more generous with others that are seeking my time.
  • Leadership is the driving force behind successful organizations.  I can see why the churches I have met with are successful, they have great leader’s.  These men and women are humble and real, yet persistent and courageous.  They are all growing and stretching and trying to figure things out as they go.  They know the vision and are working as a team to make it happen.
  • The food in Atlanta is amazing.  Eating is always a highlight on trips like this.  I love to take in local cuisine and have some fun.  Getting away on a trip like this is a great way to relax and allow your creativity to grow.  I pay attention to the service I get at restaurants and try to even learn from them on how to treat customers and give people a good first impression.

I have a couple more days down here and will share some other nuggets later.  So who are you going to seek out this year to learn from and grow in whatever area you are leading?  It could be another mom or dad that you can learn some parenting skills from or someone to help you grow in your marriage.  It may be someone in the same position you have or a position you would like to have.  Maybe it is someone that could help you grow spiritually or emotionally.  Whatever area you want to get better in, seek some people out that you can learn from and then make the call.

 

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Life in the Desert

 

Have you ever asked the question “why is this happening to me?”  Many of us have asked that question when we are going through difficult times in our lives.  We ask God why is this happening?  Why do I need to go through this?  I like to call the tough times in our lives desert experiences.  Both Mathew and Luke record Jesus’ time in the desert at the beginning of His ministry.  Jesus spent 40 days alone, in the desert, abstaining from food, noise and any distractions.  Jesus used this time in the desert to get closer to God.  Often times when we are in a desert in life, we focus so much on our situation that we miss what God has for us.  Maybe the question shouldn’t be why is this happening to me, but what are you trying to teach me or how can I grow as a result of this?

If our perspective is right this is what can happen in our desert experiences:

  1. We can recognize that God will sometimes lead us into seasons of growth.
  2. We can fight battles and overcome temptation to take shortcuts.
  3. We learn discipline and to depend on God.
  4. We are broken of self-sufficiency and self-promotion.
  5. We find our mission or purpose.
  6. We gain a new perspective.
  7. We are prepared for the next phase of our vocation, ministry or calling.

God will often use the difficult times in our lives to chip away at the rough edges and develop our character.  The main thing God wants from us is our love and dependence on Him.  When we work through the difficulties and issues of life with our focus on God and not our problems we can emerge from the desert with new life and energy.  Often times God works through people and when we reach out to the right people in times of difficulty we can learn, grow and change.

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New Year New Thinking

 

Most people start the new year by thinking about things they want to change or do differently in the coming year.  It is a time when we can hope for a better future and many people will make resolutions or set goals for the coming year.  I firmly believe in goal setting and have done that for years.  It helps me think about what I want to accomplish and the kind of person I want to be.

Most people never follow through on the resolutions they set or goals they come up with.  The main reason for that is we don’t change the way we think and therefore our actions never follow.  Only when we change our mindset and what we care about can we change our lives.  We all have things that we believe to be true about ourselves, the world, God and others.  Those core beliefs drive our thinking which in turn drives our behavior.  So, to really make a change in 2012, the way we think and what we believe  needs to change.

To do that it is important to identify what lies might be a part of our belief system.  Here are a few that many of us struggle with:

    • Believing that acquiring money and things will bring lasting happiness
    • Believing that excessive food and alcohol can relieve my stress and make me happy
    • Believing that an attractive body and personality will get me what I need
    • Believing that gratifying sexual lust will bring lasting satisfaction
    • Believing that I can associate with bad company and not be corrupted
    • Believing that I can read, see or listen to anything and not be corrupted
    • Believing that I  must gain approval of certain people in order to be happy
    • Believing that I must measure up to certain standards in order to feel good about myself

Here are some lines of thinking that lead us into deception:

  • Thinking I am something I am really not
  • Thinking I was just born this way and can’t change
  • Thinking I can be truly religious but not bridle my tongue
  • Thinking that God is the source of my problems
  • Thinking I can live my life without the help of anyone else
  • Thinking that it’s my life and I can live however I want to
  • Thinking that I need to control the people and situations around me
  • Thinking that I can change other people

Before we can identify lies we believe we need to know what is true.  That starts by looking to the ultimate source of truth and that is God and the Bible.  If you only do one thing this year, let it be to read the Bible more than you did last year.  Maybe it’s reading a devotional daily or maybe it’s reading the New Testament or the whole Bible.  If you have never gotten into the Bible, let this year be the year.  Get a translation that is easy to understand like “The Message” or the “Amplified” or the New Living Translation”.

Here is a summary of some of the most important truths from the Bible.  A goal might be to read this daily for 3 weeks and see what happens.

Truth Statements

 I recognize that there is only one true and living God (Ex. 20:2-3) who exists as the Father, Son and Holy Spirit and that He is worthy of all honor, praise and glory as the Creator, Sustainer and Beginning and End of all things (Rev. 4:11; 5:9-10; Is. 43:1, 7, 21).

I recognize Jesus Christ as the Messiah, the Word who became flesh and dwelt among us (John 1:1, 14). I believe that He came to destroy the works of Satan (1 John 3:8), that He disarmed the rulers and authorities and made a public display of them, having triumphed over them (Col. 2:15).

I believe that God has proven His love for me because when I was still a sinner, Christ died for me (Rom. 5:8). I believe that He delivered me from the domain of darkness and transferred me to His kingdom, and in Him I have redemption, the forgiveness of sins (Col. 1:13-14).

I believe that I am now a child of God (1 John 3:1-3) and that I am seated with Christ in the heavenlies (Eph. 2:6). I believe that I was saved by the grace of God through faith, that it was a gift, and not the result of any works on my part (Eph. 2:8-9).

I choose to be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might (Eph. 6:10). I put no confidence in the flesh (Phil. 3:3) for the weapons of warfare are not of the flesh (2 Cor. 10:4). I put on the whole armor of God (Eph. 6:10-20), and I resolve to stand firm in my faith and resist the evil one.

I believe that apart from Christ I can do nothing (John 15:5), so I declare myself dependent on Him. I choose to abide in Christ in order to bear much fruit and glorify the Lord (John 15:8). I announce to Satan that Jesus is my Lord (1 Cor. 12:3), and I reject any counterfeit gifts or works of Satan in my life.

I believe that the truth will set me free (John 8:32) and that walking in the light is the only path of fellowship (1 John 1:7).

Therefore, I stand against Satan’s deception by taking every thought captive in obedience to Christ (2 Cor. 10:5). I declare that the Bible is the only authoritative standard (2 Tim. 3:15-16). I choose to speak the truth in love (Eph. 4:15).

I choose to present my body as an instrument of righteousness, a living and holy sacrifice, and I renew my mind by the living Word of God in order that I may prove that the will of God is good, acceptable and perfect (Rom. 6:13; 12:1-2). I put off the old self with its evil practices and put on the new self (Col. 3:9-10), and I declare myself to be a new creature in Christ (2 Cor. 5:17).

I trust my heavenly Father to fill me with His Holy Spirit (Eph. 5:18), to lead me into all truth (John 16:13) and to empower my life that I may live above sin and not carry out the desires of the flesh (Gal. 5:16). I crucify the flesh (Gal. 5:24) and choose to walk by the Spirit.

I renounce all selfish goals and choose the ultimate goal of love (1 Tim. 1:5). I choose to obey the two greatest commandments; to love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul and mind, and to love my neighbor as myself (Matt. 22:37-39).

I believe that Jesus has all authority in heaven and on earth (Matt. 28:18) and that He is the head over all rule and authority (Col. 2:10). I believe that Satan and his demons are subject to me in Christ since I am a member of Christ’s body (Eph. 1:19-23). Therefore, I obey the command to submit to God and to resist the Devil (Jas. 4:7), and I command Satan in the name of Christ to leave my presence.

Happy New Year!

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5 Mistakes Men Make In Marriage

Healthy relationships take work and a willingness to learn and grow.  For men this can be a very challenging thing.  Most men tend to struggle in relationships because we don’t realize some of the mistakes we are making.  Marriage is the closest relationship we have and as men we need to make some big changes in order to have happy, healthy marriages.  Just a quick word to the guys reading this.  Most guys work hard at improving themselves in their work life.  We study, practice, and learn from more experienced people in order to become better at our jobs.  We do the same thing with our hobbies.  Why should it be any different when it comes to the most important relationship in our lives.

So here are 5 mistakes that I have made along with most men.  Now there are probably a lot more mistakes that the ladies reading this can come up with, but that would feel like nagging and most guys would tune that out quickly.  Here are the top 5 things guys can work on to quickly improve their relationship with their wives:

  1. Loving Our Wives Conditionally – This is hard to admit for most guys, because we like to think that we love our wives unconditionally.  The reality is that most men have conditions for their love.  If she performs in the way we like, we express love to her.  When she cleans the house, takes care of the children, cook the food, and run the household then we are happy and love her.  However when things don’t go like we think it should we tend to get angry, frustrated, disappointed and withhold love.  When she does not show us the respect we think we should have we don’t love her the way we should.
  2. Thinking Her Definition Of Intimacy Is The Same As Ours – When men think about intimacy we usually think sex.  This is not the case for our wives.  It’s about an emotional connection, being able to talk about the important stuff going on in her life.  She see’s intimacy as a deep emotional connection, when we take the time to really focus on her and listen without trying to fix things.  For most women the emotional intimacy and the physical intimacy are very much connected.  For men we tend to keep them separate.
  3. Not Encouraging Our Wives Enough – Many wives do a ton of things that go unnoticed.  Running a household, caring for children, preparing food, planning schedules, paying bills working outside the home, volunteering at school or church.  Most of us husbands take all this for granted and don’t thank and encourage our wives nearly enough.  We can’t say it often enough.  When we take the time to notice all the things she does and thank her specifically for them, it sends a message to her that she is valuable, important and treasured.
  4. Not knowing her Love Language – There are five love languages that express love to the people in our lives.  In marriage this is a vital part of developing a close healthy relationship.  Most of us guys don’t even think about how to express love to our wives let alone understanding what her love language is.  We usually speak our own love language to our wives, which may not be her top love language.  So here are the five areas:  Words of Affirmation/Encouragement, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, Acts of Service & Physical Touch.  When we take the time to find out which of those are more meaningful to our wives we send a message that we care and want to love her better.  When we actually do it on a regular basis our marriage will improve dramatically.  Remember actions speak louder than words.  To learn more about the Five Love Languages read the book by that title by author Gary Chapman.
  5. Not Building Spiritual Intimacy With Our Wives – If we want our marriages to go from good to great, then we need to bring the spiritual element into our marriages.  Most of us men don’t ever connect with our wives on a spiritual level.  This adds a whole new dimension of intimacy that is missing in most marriages.  When we as men take the lead on spiritual stuff, it sends a message to our wives that we desire to grow with them.  Being on the same page spiritually brings peace & strength to the relationship.  Couples that are spiritually active together rarely get divorced.  This would include things like church attendance, small group participation, praying together, praying for each other daily, doing devotions together, having spiritual conversations attending seminars or classes together, praying with and for your children.  When we take the initiative to lead our families spiritually amazing transformation starts to happen.  This all starts with us making a commitment to grow spiritually ourselves.  We cannot force this on our wives, but we can start with ourselves.

Well guys, I hope this was a helpful start in making adjustments or changes in your marriage relationship.  My next post will be on 5 Mistakes Women make in marriage.

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7 Things That Must Happen for Growth to Occur

Spiritual growth doesn’t just happen, any more than running a marathon “just happens.”  You don’t wake up one day and go run a marathon.  It takes months of training and preparation.  Growth results from hard work.  The harder you train and prepare the better you will do in the race.

As I have been training for the upcoming Cleveland Marathon in May, I have had to form new habits and be disciplined in working out.  I know that if I don’t train now, I will pay the price later. As I run and do cross training my body is strengthened and able to endure longer distances.  I also am able to recover much quicker from hard workouts.  I can run farther and faster now because of the work I have put in over the last 6 months.

In the Bible Paul compares maturing or growing a person to growing a plant (Col 2:6,7).  When you take seed, soil, sunshine, and water and put them together, you don’t get a plant overnight.  You need time.  Paul knew that our roots would not grow deep overnight.  Our lives are much that way.  Either we are growing slowly by taking steps forward or we are declining by taking steps backward.  Just like a plant can’t grow without the right conditions, we need to right conditions to grow and thrive.  Whether we want to grow spiritually, emotionally, relationally or physically, it takes certain things for that to happen.  Here are some reminders of what must happen for growth to occur:

  1. Labor – Someone has to work.  For growth to happen hard work need to take place.  That means having the right mindset of doing difficult things that may cause some pain initially, but that will lead to growth down the road.  That happens when I workout, my muscles get sore, but they also get stronger.  When I practice honesty, it can cause some initial pain, but it leads to stronger healthier relationships.  When I take time to read or write, it takes effort, but it also pays dividends.
  2. Stretching – We have to stretch for more.  When I get out of my comfort zone and push myself, I see much better results.  I can hit walls, in all areas of my life, but if I can stretch just a little more I grow to higher levels.  Once we stretch to a new place we now have expanded our capacity to grow.  Stretching relationally may be working through conflict instead of yelling or using the silent treatment.
  3. Learning – In order to grow we must learn.  Again, this takes a mindset of understanding that we do not know it all and can benefit from other people.  Having a teachable attitude allows us to grow much faster.  It’s like adding fertilizer to the soil.  People that grow are constantly reading and studying.  Not only books, but people and situations.
  4. Focus – We cannot drift or get distracted, or our growth will diminish.  The more we can focus, the better the results will be.  Distractions keep us from the important things that can bring about the best results.  I must remove distractions that keep me from training, and then while I am training, I need to focus on my form and technique.
  5. Accountability – Growth accelerates when someone watches.  Trying to grow on our own is very difficult.  Having a workout partner can keep me motivated.  Allowing someone to ask hard questions on a regular basis keeps me on track.  We should not try to go it alone, find some trustworthy, reliable people to help on the journey.
  6. Application – Growth really happens when we practice what we know.  If all I do is study about how to run a marathon, I will never run a marathon.  I have to actually go out and do what I have learned.  Growing spiritually, emotionally, and relationally is the same way.  If I want to improve my marriage I have to actually practice speaking my wife’s love language on a regular basis.  If I want to get closer to God I have to actually talk to him and read the Bible in order to connect with Him and understand Him.  If I want healthy relationships I have to practice forgiveness.
  7. Gratitude – This is all about having the right attitude.  Giving joyful thanks for the past blessings and growth.  A grateful heart is a humble heart and that is fertile soil for growth to happen.

So what area do you want to grow in?  If it’s your marriage, then think about what your next step needs to be in order to grow in that area of your life.  Think in next steps, what step do I need to take in order to be a better husband?  What step do I need to take in order to be a better father?  What step do I need to take in order to be a better leader?  It might be reading a book, it might be eliminating some distractions, it might be finding an accountability partner or two, it might be actually putting into practice some things you already know, it might be having a more grateful attitude.  As we take these small steps it leads to growth and change.  Again, this does not happen overnight, but over a lifetime.

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7 Lessons I’ve Learned Leading a Multi-site Church Campus.

Over the last two months I have had the privilege of leading one of our church campuses through a transition from a portable church at a Middle school to a new permanent site in a nearby city.  This has been a fun, exciting time and a real growth time for me personally.  Since taking this new role at NewPointe Community Church I have been learning some things and putting some things into practice that I have learned over the years about leadership.  This is what I have been learning and by no means do I think I know it all.  I love to learn from other leader’s and have followed many over my career.  These lessons are stretching me and shaping me into the leader God is calling me to be.

  1. Relationships are more important than Systems – Effective, well thought out systems are vital to an organizations health, but people are more important.  Every person that attends the campus I lead is important.  Each person matters to God and so they must matter to me.  When going through explosive growth it’s easy to miss the relational part of ministry.  That is when you must work hard to meet with people and listen to them.  I have learned so much by simple meeting with people and listening to them.  I know that I have not done as good of job as I could have in this area, so I plan on working harder to connect with more people over the next month.
  2. Communicate with your team often – Even when there is nothing new to report, it’s important to communicate with your team on a regular basis.  As a leader, I wake up every day thinking about what needs to happen to get where we are headed.  The volunteers I am leading have many other things to think about, like their own jobs and families.  The more I can communicate about what is going on, the better my relationship with the people I lead.  Open honest communication builds trust, it also motivates and encourages and allows people to ask clarifying questions.
  3. Trust that God is working in ways you do not see – In ministry, things don’t always line up like you would like them to be.  As a leader, I am responsible for my own actions and to make plans and develop strategy.  It is also my responsibility to be flexible and to include God in everything.  The deeper my trust in God the stronger my faith grows.  If we figure everything out on our own, we don’t need God to show up.  When you take on a big vision, only God can make it happen, we need to trust and obey.
  4. Trust the leaders around you – I must choose to trust and not to be suspicious of the leaders above me.  The more I choose to trust the more my heart remains in the right place.  When I start to fill in the blanks with my own ideas, I begin to head into a downward spiral.  When I believe the best about the people leading me, I can then lead with integrity and passion.  Trust builds a culture of emotional health and stability.
  5. Do more than rally the troops – You must do more than talk the talk, you need to walk the walk and make things happen.  That means doing what you say and equipping your volunteers to do what they are asked to do.  It means taking the time to develop people rather than just direct people.  When you build meaningful relationships with people they will follow you through the most difficult of times.  When you pay attention to the details and delegate to people that can get things done your influence goes up.  Don’t just try to pump people up, pour into them and love them.  The only way to do that is by allowing God to pour into you and to keep growing as a leader.
  6. You have to be real – People are looking for real leaders that admit their mistakes and take responsibility.  Be quick to admit mistakes and ask for forgiveness and extend the same to others.  Don’t put on the religious mask, where you try to make people think that everything is just perfect.  That is only possible if you are sure of your identity and comfortable with who you are.  I have learned that I need to be me and not someone I think people want.  The more I am the person God created me to be to more influence God give me.
  7. Be as clear as possible – Clarity is one of the most difficult things to do as a leader.  It is easy to dance around the issues and not give direct answers.  Sometimes there are things that I just cannot share with people, so I need to be honest about that and let them know that I will share details when I can.  To be clear as a leader means taking time to think about what you are going to say.  It means you can’t just shoot from the hip, but take time to aim before delivering the message.  Being clear is a way of honoring people and letting them know you care.

When things are changing all around me and the pace seems to be higher than what I can stand, it helps to step back and trust God and obey what he tells me.  When things are busy and hectic I need to make sure that I am praying and communicating with God.  I also need to be reading the Bible to build my intimacy with God and get wisdom and direction.  One thing that has helped me in this area and many others is having two guys I meet with weekly to ask me how I am doing in some of these areas.  Having accountability in my life has brought growth and freedom into my life.

Lead On!

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My Top Ten Business and Spiritual Books

I love to read. Reading is one way that I grow and change every year. Maybe you have heard the saying “You will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read.” Every year I am very intentional about planning out some of the books I want to read in the coming year. I don’t always get them all read, but it really helps to have a list. I have started using a website called Goodreads to keep track of the books I am currently reading, the ones I want to read and the ones that I have finished.

I have been meeting with a group of guys that have committed to read one book per month for 10 months. Some of these guys were not readers and this has been a struggle, but they have hung in there and made a solid effort to get through the books. I know it is stretching and changing these guys. They will not be the same after these 10 months.

I hope you will consider increasing your reading. It may be reading one book this year or maybe its reading one per month. Set a realistic goal and then start reading. If you spend a little time each day reading, you can finish nearly any book in a month.

Here is my top ten business book list followed by my top ten spiritual book list:

  1. Tribes: We need you to lead us – by Seth Godin
  2. 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership by John Maxwell
  3. Good to Great by Jim Collins
  4. Becoming a Coaching Leader by Daniel Harkavy
  5. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey
  6. Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking by Malcolm Gladwell
  7. First Break all the Rules: by Marcus Buckingham
  8. The Leadership Challenge by James Kouzes and Barry Posner
  9. The 360 Degree Leader by John Maxwell
  10. The Fred Factor by Mark Sanborn

Spiritual Growth Top Ten:

  1. The Life You’ve Always Wanted by John Ortberg
  2. Crazy Love by Fancis Chan
  3. The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
  4. Victory Over Darkness and Bondage Breaker by Neil Anderson
  5. Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis
  6. When Helping Hurts by Steve Corbett
  7. TrueFaced by Bill Thrall
  8. Deadly Emotions by Don Colbert
  9. Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero
  10. Pursuit of Holiness by Jerry Bridges

There are many more I could add to each list, but these are some of the ones that have influenced me the most over the years. If you want to change in 2011, then make a commitment to read. Schedule it on your calendar if you have to. One last thing, I also read the Bible every year, usually in a different versions. Some of my favorite versions of the Bible are:

  • The Message by Eugene Peterson
  • New International Version
  • Amplified Bible
  • New Living Translation
  • The Leadership Bible New King James Version

Leaders are readers!

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How Can You Know God’s Will?

I received some questions that our mentors hear from time to time and thought I would address them here. The first one was “How Can I Know God’s Will?”

Other similar questions might be: Can I really know God’s will for my life? Do you think God really has a plan for me? How do I know that what I’m doing is God’s will? Does his will change?

Without reservation, I believe God has a plan for our lives! However, living day to day can feel like visiting a major city for the first time without a GPS or map. Sometimes we just feel unsure of what direction to go or what to do. We would like God to write us a message in the sky telling us what to do.

What do we normally do when we get lost or disoriented? Asking directions is usually what gets us back on track. I just gave a truck driver directions this morning, he had received confusing instructions about where he was going. After talking with him for a while I discovered where he needed to go and was able to give him clear directions on how to get there.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could meet with Jesus like that and ask for directions. As Christians we have a personal guide and map as we try to navigate through life. The Holy Spirit is our guide and the Bible is our map. That is what we need to look to, to know God’s will for our lives.

God tells us this in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plan I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

If we want to know God’s will for our lives, we need to look to God’s Word. Much of God’s will has already been revealed through the Bible. For example in 1 Thessalonians 4:3 it says, “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified (holy): that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like those who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him.”

  • God’s Word reveals His will for our attitude in certain situations: “Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thess. 5:18
  • God’s Word reveals His will for how we should handle critics: “For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men.” 1 Peter 2:15

The purpose of the Bible is to reveal God’s character, and express His deep love for us. We can be certain that God’s purpose and vision for our lives will never be contrary to His revealed character. For instance, it is not God’s will to sin in anger, to disregard human life, to neglect children or your spouse or to be rudely impatient.

Revealing God’s will in our lives is a process. We wish He would just tell us who to marry, where to work, how to raise our children and how to have healthy relationships. The problem is, even if He would do that, we often would not listen and still do things our own way. The Old Testament is full of stories demonstrating that.

That is the journey we are all on, learning from mistakes and painful experiences in life. Without those difficult, hard times, we would not be growing to be more like Jesus. Here are some stages along the way to knowing God’s will for our lives:

  1. Obey God’s Word – We should not ask God to reveal His will and then decide after He reveals it whether or not we will obey it. If we take that approach, we will miss out on God’s best for us. In order to obey God’s Word, we need to know God’s Word.
  2. Ask God what His will is for us – Prayer is vitally important is this process. Psalms 143:10 says “Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God; may Your spirit lead me on level ground.” God will not always reveal His will immediately even after you pray about it. However He will reveal as much as we need to know at that time. Prayer often changes us not the circumstances. A mark of a mature believer is praying for God’s will to be done and really meaning it. Maybe His will is for you to change!
  3. Recognize that His Spirit bears witness – The Holy Spirit lives in us to help us with the decisions of life. He interacts with our spirit so we can know that we are in the center of God’s will. One benefit of the Holy Spirit living in us is peace. When we are doing God’s will, we can experience peace, even when a storm is raging around us.
  4. Pay attention to circumstances – God opens and closes doors. Because we are His children He promised to direct our steps. Life is not a series of accidents, based on chance or happenstance. We are not some insignificant blob. The Bible says “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28 He did not say some things, He said all things – God speaks and directs through life’s circumstances. So ask yourself, What does God want me to learn in this circumstance.
  5. Have a relationship with the body of Christ – A key element of our process or spiritual growth is our relationship with a local church. Having close relationships with other believers is vital in following God’s will for our life. God often speaks through other people.

If you are facing some difficult decisions in life or are trying to find God’s will for your life, here are five simple things you can do:

  1. Read the Bible – God will never ask you to do anything contrary to His Word
  2. Pray – Ask Him for direction, peace, wisdom, discernment, courage.
  3. Ask your self and those close to you if there is peace in going this direction. Peace not relief from pain or difficulty.
  4. Is a door clearly open, do you have an opportunity to do something good. Or are you trying to force the door open on your own?
  5. Seek other Christ followers to affirm whether this situation is God’s will. Ask for honesty not for agreement or sympathy.

If you have done all five of these you should have a pretty clear indication of whether this is God’s will or not. If one of these is not in agreement, you should consider that a yellow warning light from God. Maybe it’s not against God’s will, but it may be the wrong timing.

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Questions to Ask Yourself

While I was on my run today some questions kept coming to my mind. Maybe these questions will get you thinking as well.

  • What motivates me the most?
  • What are the three most important people in my life?
  • If I could change one thing about myself, I would change…
  • Have I been totally honest with the people closest to me?
  • Do I have something I feel like I cannot share with anyone?
  • What do I need to do to improve my leadership ability by 5%?
  • Who do I need to spend more time with?
  • Who do I need to spend less time with?
  • In what areas of my life do I feel like I am struggling?
  • Who do I need to confront? Who do I need to apologize to?

When we ask ourselves questions like this it forces us to do an evaluation of where we are and where we want to be. The key to a successful life is that you are growing, learning and changing in a positive way. When you are humble enough to realize you can always improve and get better no matter where you are, then you can achieve amazing things.

I try to do this several times a year. Take a moment and think about these questions and write down some of your thoughts. Put in some action steps and then go and do it.

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The Decision

I don’t know if you have been following the whole LeBron James decision thing or not. I am a big basketball fan and my favorite team is the Cleveland Cavaliers. I must say that I am disappointed that he is leaving to go play in Miami. This had to be a tough decision for a young man to make, he is only 25. I remember when I was 25, looking back I now realize how little I really knew then.

I must say that I do respect LeBron’s passion for winning. He was willing to take less money and not be the top dog on the team in order to win. He could have made more money in Cleveland and he could have been more famous in New York, yet he chose winning and personal happiness.

LeBron James is very good at what he does and I wish him and his family the best.

So how should we approach the big decisions in our life? Should I take that new job? Should we buy that house or that new car? Should I get married or stay single? Should I go back to school and get a degree? Should we get a divorce or keep working on it? Should we move to a new city? Should I eliminate some things from my life? Should I say yes or no to this new big project?

Here are several things I try to do when facing a big decision:

  1. Start Praying – I know that sounds religious, but God has promised to give us wisdom if we ask for it and follow his principles in life. When I begin to consistently pray for wisdom to make the right decision, God has always given me direction, through other people, bringing thoughts to my mind, helping me to focus and giving me peace.
  2. Ask Questions and seek advice – I try to find someone that in knowledgeable about the area I am facing. Maybe someone that has gone through what I am going through. Maybe a financial advisor, maybe a Christian Counselor, maybe a trusted friend.
  3. Write down the pros and cons – For me it helps to put it on paper. What are the positives and negatives of making this decision. I write down everything I can think of on both sides. Sometimes I even ask others to give me their pros and cons.
  4. Don’t rush – I try never to make an emotional decision. Going slow is usually the best approach. We don’t always have that luxury, but often taking our time is the best approach. Do your homework and research and pray.
  5. Do what is right, not what is convenient – Try to think about what would be best in the long term for you and your family. Evaluate all the options. Saying no to a big opportunity because it would put to much stress on you or your family can be hard, but could be best in the long term. Ask God what the right thing to do is.
  6. Ask your self lots of questions – I try to ask myself things like why do I want to do this? What am I afraid of? If I do this how would it affect my wife & family? Will this make me a better person? Will this decision hurt other people? Will this improve my current situation or put me into more stress? What would Jesus tell me to do?

If you are facing “The Decision”, walk through these steps and then make the best decision you can. You won’t always get it right, but if you follow these guidelines it will help you make better decisions most of the time. When you get it wrong, admit it and try to not dig a deeper hole.