Personal Growth – Page 14

February 14, 2010

Commitment

I recently wrote a blog about Decide, Commit, Succeed. I thought I would zero in and drill down a little more on the idea of commitment.

We are all committed to something or someone. In marriage two people make a lifelong commitment to each other. Olympic athletes make a commitment to become world-class athletes in their sport. Many people are committed to their families and to their career’s. Some people are also committed to their faith.

All of us are at different levels and degrees of commitment in each of these areas.

Here are some examples of people that were committed to something:

Christopher Columbus – Was told his mission or vision was “Quite Impossible”
Orrville & Wilbur Wright – Were told it is impossible to fly.
Thomas Edison – Took nearly 1,000 experiments to develop filament for a light bulb.
Abraham Lincoln – Failed in 12 out of 15 elections in his life.
John Wesley – Average 5,000 miles a year mostly on horseback and 15 sermons a week.

People that make a difference are committed for the long haul. Even when obstacles get in the way they persevere and keep putting in the work needed to reach their goal.

So, what are you committed to? Here are some closing thoughts on commitment:

Lasting commitment is making a decision before the solution is found, knowing the principle is right.
Commitment is the motivator that keeps me moving toward my goal.
Commitment lets other people know where I stand.
Commitment gets me started while others stand, and keeps me going while others quit.
Commitment helps me break through barriers and reach new heights.
Commitment strengthens relationships.
Commitment helps me grow.

If you are committed to the right things, it leads to health in all areas of your life.

February 6, 2010

Decide, Commit, Succeed

On January 4th I started an exercise program that is pretty intense called P90X (Power 90days Extreme). The tag line for this program is Decide, Commit, Succeed. I like that a lot. If you want to transform your body, you need to first decide you want to do it. Then you need to commit to making it happen. If you make the decision and the commitment you set yourself up to succeed. Your decision needs to be more than just a desire to get in shape. You need a vision for your health and a goal to get there.

I just finished week 5 and have another 7 weeks to go. I already am seeing some great results. I am stronger, and more flexible. I can almost keep up with most of the exercises and I am less sore after workouts. I can do more reps and use higher weights. The hard work and dedication are paying off with more energy, strength, focus, and just feeling better.

So what do you want to change in your life? Maybe it’s your marriage or your workplace. It could be your physical health or maybe your financial health. Maybe you want to deepen your relationship with God. Whatever it is that you want to change or transform, it starts with a decision.

My decision to change physically came several years ago when I got a bad check up. My wife and I decided to change how we eat and how we exercise. We committed to eat healthier and get more exercise. We have been successful so far because of that decision and commitment. We both have lowered our cholesterol, our weight, our blood pressure and many other measurable things.

When you make the decision and make the commitment you then need to take action and actually do it. You need a plan or a guide to help get you there. For us we started with a program called Thin & Healthy, which taught us to eat the right portions and the right types of foods. It taught us to be more knowledgeable about what we are eating.

Next we started to exercise and be more active. I now am following another program that is helping me stay on track and get more fit. If I can stay committed to the program I will get results.

Spiritually it is the same way. When you decide you want to grow spiritually and make a commitment to God that you will do it, you need a plan on how to get there. One such program is Monvee. It is a spiritual formation tool that can help guide you on your spiritual journey. NewPointe Church is a test church for Monvee. You often need multiple ways to help you grow and change. For me physically it has been Thin & Healthy, Our Wellness program at work, my wife’s knowledge & skill at cooking, playing basketball, running 5k’s and now P90X.

Monvee could be one of your tools to keep you on track spiritually. The main thing is to decide, commit and succeed. Check it out and let me know if you are interested in joining Monvee NewPointe and discover your road map to a more intimate relationship with God.

January 18, 2010

True Contentment

One of the Scriptures that I memorized years ago is Philippians 4:11-13 “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.”

True contentment is usually learned in the hard times of life, when our financial security is shaken a bit. It’s amazing to me how little we can live on when things get tight. Paul is saying that true contentment, or lack of it, does not come from the circumstances we find ourselves in; true contentment comes from Jesus who gives us strength. Because Paul put his trust and faith in Jesus, he was able to experience a deep peace no matter what life threw at him.

His identity did not come from what he owned or what goals he was able to achieve. Instead it came from his relationship with God, who loves him (And Us), so much he sent His son Jesus.

Here are a few questions to ponder about your level of contentment:

Do you really want a God-centered contentment?
What are you afraid of losing, or what do you need to be happy?
When you are feeling discontent, do you turn to God for strength?
Do you see yourself as wealthy because of your relationship with God, or is wealth dependent on how much money you have?

When our treasure is in our relationship with Christ, we are free from the bondage of pursuing things and allowing circumstance to dictate our level of contentment.

Here is a final word from God on contentment:

“But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we will take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of faith.” 1Timothy 6:6-12.

God-centered contentment guards us from becoming prisoners of what we own or the kind of lifestyle we desire. It also protects us from the temptations and mistakes that can cause all kinds of grief in our lives.

January 13, 2010

Hoarders

Over the past several weeks my wife has been cleaning stuff out of our house. We have accumulated a bunch of stuff that really we don’t need. It is so easy to allow things to build up in our closets and spare bedrooms. If you have every watched the show “Hoarders” on A&E you have seen how extreme some people can get with hoarding and accumulating stuff. When you watch a show like that it makes you sad for those people, but it is a reminder that we too can allow things around us to get out of control.

It can be the same way in all parts of our lives. If don’t pay attention to our finances we can soon find ourselves deep in debt and struggling to make ends meet. We can find ourselves in a crisis and have no savings to get us through.

How about with our health? It is so easy to allow ourselves to slowly gain pound after pound, inch after inch and soon find ourselves overweight and out of shape. This can bring on other health problems and really complicate our lives.

What about your spiritual life? It is easy to get complacent or off center with our relationship with God. That is why we need to clean house spiritually every once in a while. It is healthy for us to unload all the junk we have accumulated and leave it with God. Allow Him to take the stuff that is holding us back from going deeper with Him. When we clean out the closets and the spare bedrooms, where we tend to hide our stuff, it frees us up to fill it with the good stuff that God wants us to have. Things like peace, joy, kindness, gentleness, patience, love, self-control, compassion, gratefulness and friendship.

So, maybe you need to start by cleaning up your house and throwing out the stuff you don’t need or maybe selling it or giving it away. Maybe you need to bring some order and control to your finances. It could be you need to start working on your health. All of us can work on getting our spiritual houses in order. A great place to start is getting into the Bible on a regular basis. Develop a plan to grow spiritually and try to stay on track. NewPointe has a great resource coming to help people develop a spiritual growth plan. It’s called Monvee, an online spiritual formation tool that we are a part of. Check it out and ask me about it sometime.

January 10, 2010

Anger

Anger is an emotion that all of us have had to deal with. It may have been growing up in your home with an angry parent. Maybe you have had an angry boss or co-worker. Maybe it was a friend or a relative. It may have been you ex-wife or ex-husband. It also was you and me. Everyone experiences some degree of anger in our lives.

The more I talk to people the more I am seeing this as an emotion that is in most people just under the surface waiting for an opportunity to come out. Nothing is wrong with the emotion of anger per se. What is damaging is how we express anger – for example, in violent actions against another person that causes injury to property or the person.

The Bible has a number of passages that directly deal with anger. In Ephesians 4:26, 27 it says “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” What Paul is saying there is that we need to deal with our anger immediately in a way that builds relationships rather than destroys them. If we nurse our anger, we will give Satan an opportunity to divide us and destroy the relationship.

When we bottle up any emotion it does not die. Emotions that become trapped inside us seek a way to express themselves. That is because emotions like anger were created to be expressed and felt. When we refuse to feel those emotions and express them in healthy ways we risk physical illness, pain, emotional damage, relational damage and psychological problems.

When we bury emotions we are burying a living thing. It would be like pouring water into a bucket. The water is our negative emotions and at some point the water will overflow the bucket and get everything around it wet.

One way to temporarily control anger is to take a time out. When you become angry and are ready to respond in a way that may damage another person emotionally or physically, take a time out. Refocus and collect your thoughts, pray and ask God to help you in that moment not to sin. You can also take several slow deep breaths, which will diffuse your anger. Deep breathing promotes relaxation and reduces stress.

Are you angry with someone right now? What can you do to resolve your issue with that person? Don’t let the day end without starting the process of mending and working on that relationship. The best way to work on your anger is to practice forgiveness. Not just verbally, but through prayer with God involved. Most of the time God also wants us to go to that person and resolve the real issue. The emotional root of anger can be pulled up when you forgive from your heart and share your true feelings in a loving way. You also need to make sure you are dealing with the real issues and not just the stuff on the surface. You may need some help to dig down and figure that out, but it’s worth the digging and the dirt.

January 6, 2010

Potholes

Don’t you just hate it when you hit a pothole? If your like me you know exactly where they are on your commute to work everyday. This morning I hit everyone of them on my way into work. Then I hit a big one on the way home tonight. Why does that happen? I know where they are, yet on some days I hit them and other days I am well prepared and avoid them. I think what happens for me is I am often distracted. This morning it was the ice and snow. Other mornings, I am thinking about my day and what I need to do when I get to work. Other days I notice a cat in a field or a hawk on a tree limb. When I get distracted I forget about those stupid potholes. When I hit the pothole, it brings me back to reality and I beat myself up for not paying attention.

We all have potholes in our life as well. We know they are there and some days we do a good job of avoiding them and not hitting them. Other days we get distracted and all of a sudden we hit a pothole and then another. That can start a downward spiral that leads to further distraction and all of a sudden we are way off tract.

Our enemy knows what our potholes are and how to distract us so that we run over them. Sometimes we even hit that really big one that you think will make your car fall apart. That big Pothole is the one that gets us in trouble if we are not on guard. When we stay focused on God and our relationship with Him we can avoid those nasty potholes of life. God gives us many clear instructions on how to stay away from those potholes and stay on the right path. When we get onto the wrong roads is when we start hitting the potholes that can take us out.

Guard your heart, stay on the right path and look to God for your direction. God can even fill in those potholes that we seem to hit everyday if we allow him to. If you have some regular potholes that you hit all the time, ask God to fill them for you. Ask Him to pave over them and bring smooth roads to your life.

January 1, 2010

My Fab Five

Here are five disciplines I plan on working on in 2010. These five disciplines were practiced by Jesus while He was here on earth. As I start a new year I am working on both physical and spiritual disciplines. So here are my Fab Five Spiritual Disciplines:

Solitude & Silence – This is spending time alone with God, escaping from all sounds and noises that distract us from connecting with God. I plan on scheduling time on my calendar to get away from people, electronic devices, TV, Internet etc. at least once a month.
Prayer – Talking with God, conversing with him on a regular basis. I love using the ACTS method of praying: Adoration – Telling Him how much I love Him, Confession – Making sure I have a clean slate with God, Thanksgiving – Thanking Him specifically for all He has done for me, Supplication – This is praying for other people.
Memorizing Scripture – Early in my walk with God I memorized some Scripture that is still with me as favorite verses. I did this through the Crown Ministries Bible Study I was a part of about 8-10 years ago. I memorized 12 Scriptures. My hope is to do that again in 2010. When you are under pressure you find out what is in you. If you have Scripture in you it will come out.
Unconditional Love – This involves understanding how much God loves me. There is nothing I can do or say that will make God love me more or less. I then need to unconditionally love the people around me. Everyone deserves to be heard, encouraged, forgiven, accepted, guided, coached and praised. Loving my wife that way, loving my co-workers that way, loving my family that way, loving my small group that way, loving people in the community that way, loving the needy that way.
Accountability Relationships – This means finding some people that I can share my vulnerabilities with. Giving some people in my life permission to ask me tough questions. Asking them to look for blind spots in my life. Finding people that will speak truth to me and not sugarcoat things. Getting feedback on a regular basis on how I am doing in all areas of my life.

If I can implement these five things into my life, My relationship with Jesus Christ will take a big step forward. It will also improve all the relationships in my life and make me a much better leader. Join me in this growth journey. Maybe its just one of these, maybe its all five. Maybe its your own five. The important thing is that you have a plan of action, because without action all this is meaningless.

December 19, 2009

Picking up Sticks

Yesterday I was outside doing some last minute yard work before the first snow storm. We have a fairly large backyard, and I noticed there were a lot of branches and sticks in the yard from our numerous trees. This is something I do often throughout the year. Usually after a windy day or a rainy day some branches are down.

As I began to pick up branches a thought came to mind – Picking up sticks in my backyard is a lot like life. Let me explain.

To pick up sticks I have to bend down and get close to the ground. After a while I have to go dump the sticks in my hands, so I can collect more sticks. Every so often I need to stop and look over the entire yard to see where I have missed some sticks.

In life we bend down to do things like items on our to-do lists. We get into the tasks of life, work and family. When we are down in it, close to the ground, we can’t see the entire yard. That is why it is so important to stand up, step back and look at the big picture as often as you can.

If you are always doing tasks and have your eyes focused on the little piece of ground you are working on, you can miss some pretty big stuff. You may not see a train wreck coming or maybe you miss some great opportunities. You can mess up your relationships and lose influence with the people around you.

Sometimes you also need to go and empty your arms of the sticks you have been picking up. This frees you to pick up even more sticks or bigger sticks.

So how do you step back and look at this big picture and unload your sticks in life?

First you need to take time to ask your self some important questions – I often do this in a day long retreat.

What are the top three things I need to focus on in my job, my family, my relationships, my faith, my financesm my personal development?
Who am I trying to please and why?
What am I trying to change and why?
What is my personal mission or vision in life?
How much money am I trying to make and why?
How much freedom am I willing to trade for opportunity?
What can only I do?
What can others around me do nearly as good I can? – What can I give away?
What do I need to stop doing?
What one thing would change my life the most if I made that happen in the next month?

After asking yourself questions like that, you need to develop a plan and develop action steps. This is best done for me through setting goals. This time of year I am thinking big picture for 2010. I am reflecting on these and other questions. I am thinking about the next 90 days, 6 months and 18 months. I am setting some goals for my work, my faith, my health, my marriage, my relationships, my education and personal development and my finances.

I will compare this to the one I did last year and then put my strategic plan or life plan on paper, so that I can come back to it often to unload sticks and look at the entire yard. If you don’t have a plan, you can’t spend time working on it. Instead you will constantly be working in it, close to the ground getting tasks done, but possibly missing some things that God has for you.

Tasks are important and you need to get down there some to get things done, but make sure you stop, stand up, look around and develop a plan to cover the entire yard and not just a small part of it. If you need help in this area, I hope to post my system soon to give you an example to work from.

Now get out there and pick up some sticks.

December 18, 2009

Books I read in 2009

One of the things that I enjoy is reading. After High School and College I took a short break from reading, but picked it back up soon. I find the more I read the more I learn and grow. Leaders read, and if I want to influence people I need to be learning, growing and changing. For me the most effective way I can do that is by reading. I thought I would share my list of books I finished this past year.

unChristian: What a New Generation Really Thinks about Christianity and Why It Matters by David Kinnaman

My rating: 5 of 5 stars
This book knocked my socks off. The research was well done and very informative. If you want to learn about what the younger generation thinks about the church in general this is a must read. The chapter on homosexuality was very eye-opening and helpful. Not only did you get stats, but you got ideas on how to start changing those stats.

View all my reviews >>

I will be listing some of the books on my to-read list soon. Right now I am reading Christian Reflections on The Leadership Challenge by Kouzes & Posner. I also am reading The Partner by John Grisham.

December 11, 2009

Listen to Me!

We all know that listening is important but how well do we actually do at listening? The word listen means to make an effort to hear or pay attention, to give heed, or to take advice. The key is making an effort. How much of an effort do you make in your listening to your husband, wife, mom, dad, friends, children, employees, co-workers, customers?

A good listener will usually have these four character traits:

Disciplined when they listen & when they talk – Focus on who they are communicating with.
Seek the truth. They want to know what is right, not who is right.
Love quiet time – no radio, no TV, no reading, no Internet, no interruptions. They review their internal thoughts. They are thinkers
Full of questions. They don’t want to misunderstand or be misunderstood.

Sometimes we think that the people around us hear what we say, only to find out later they thought we meant something else. Listening is not enough, we must hear. Listening is not hearing until we fully understand what the other person is trying to communicate.

Most people hear the words that are being spoken and it goes through their filter and perceptions. Then they interpret what is being said, taking into account, all the non-verbals and the context of the communication. Everything we hear goes through a process of our past hurts, hang-ups and disappointments. We draw our conclusions accordingly. That is why people will take what we are saying and take it personally, or take it as an attack when it was not meant that way.

Proverbs 1:5 says “A wise man will hear and increase learning.” If we are going to be successful in our relationships, we must listen, hear and understand what people are saying. When we do that we are expressing that we value the person communicating.

A good way to make sure we understand someone is to simply ask this type of a question: “Is this what you are trying to tell me?” or “Is this what you mean?” This will help to bring clarity to your discussion and avoid a lot of unnecessary disagreements and conflict.

So here are some questions for you to ponder:

Who do you have difficulty hearing?
How does it make you feel when someone listens and hears you?
Are you misunderstood a lot
Do you have conflict because of misunderstanding others?
How well are you doing in this area of Listening?

Proverbs says if you are wise, you will make every effort to hear and pay attention when people are communicating with you, so that you can increase your understanding, which leads to better relationships, (at least that is my translation).