Category: Spiritual Growth

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Dealing With Your Past

 

As I have interacted with people and worked at understanding them it has become more clear to me that the past is an important part of the actions of today and how people are preparing for the future.  I have heard many people say that you need to forget the past and move on.  That is a dangerous way to approach life.  Whether you like it or not, your past affects your decisions and actions today, and these, in turn, affect the future.  If you do not learn from your past mistakes and hurts, you will most likely repeat them.  There are also lies that you have believed and that have shaped you and what you believe.  Those lies steal your joy and cause you to be afraid.

The junk from your past causes you to react to conflict or difficulties in a certain way.  Everyone has buttons, that when pushed will take them back to those historical moments that feel similar.  When stirred up those lies and fears cause you to react or respond in unhealthy ways.  This behavior is often learned from your parents and other influential people in your life.  Many of the unhealthy responses like withdrawing, defending, attacking, and deflection were ways you could protect yourself when you were little.  Now that you have grown up you are still responding in those ways and it leads to death not life.

So what can you do about the junk from the past, the fears that lurk inside you and pop out when touched?  Major changes begin on the inside where these fears, hurts and hangups live.  Change starts as God works on your attitudes, beliefs, and desires.  When your attitudes, beliefs and desires start to change and line up with what is true, your outward behavior changes and the transformation takes shape.  Philippians 2:13 says “for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.”  This is telling you that God helps you to want to obey him and then gives you the power to do what he wants.  The secret to a changed life is to submit to God and allow him to do the inside work needed to transform the person you are.

So to unload the junk from your past means taking the first step of being reconciled to God.  If you have not taken that step, God will not start the transformation process.  God is at work on every person alive, drawing you to himself, but he never forces the issue, he just keeps it in front of you.  Once you take the step of believing that Jesus Christ was God and man, that he lived a perfect life, that he took all your sin on himself and died for you, that he overcame death and sin by coming back to life in three days and that he is alive today, then you can ask for forgiveness of your sins and be reconciled with God.  Doing that brings the gift of living forever with God in heaven.  It also begins the process of spiritual maturity.

If you have done that and are continuing to live with fears that are controlling your behavior, then start asking God to change you on the inside.  He will continue the process of change on the inside if you ask him. The way in which to do that is to take in God’s word on a regular basis and communicate with God on a regular basis.  Remove the distractions around you and listen to God, then ask for courage to follow through on what he is telling you to do.  One of the best exercises to help get that started is the Steps to Freedom in Christ by Neil Anderson.  Going through those steps is like cleaning up your house.  It brings your focus on God and shines a light on your past and your inside attitudes, beliefs and desires.  Remember that you don’t clean up your house just one time, it is an ongoing discipline.  The good news is that God is doing most of the cleaning when you let him inside and ask for help.

Once you have dealt with the past in the right way you can move on and never have to bring it up again.  These are the words that Moses used to encourage Joshua “Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”  That is your message today.

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Who’s Filling Your Cup?

As human beings we have basic needs. Some are physical like food, oxygen, water, sleep.  We also have needs for our inner being or our soul.  This includes the realm of our emotions.  This is what fills our cup and keeps us going.  There are four basic soul needs that all of us crave.  We are all created with these needs and we all search for ways to meet these needs everyday.  Most of the time we look in the wrong places to meet these needs.  So here they are:

  1. Acceptance – Knowing you are loved and needed by others.
  2. Identity – Knowing you are individually significant and special.
  3. Security – Knowing you are well protected and provided for.
  4. Purpose – Knowing you have a reason for living.

These basic needs are the driving force behind what motivates us in life.  Just like we crave food and develop an appetite, we crave emotionally to have these needs met on a regular basis.  If we go too long with these basic needs unmet, we become depressed, anxious, fearful, angry, lonely, and numb.  These are needs, so we must have them met or we cannot survive.  The problem is that the way we seek to meet these needs is primarily through other people or things.  When we do that three things usually result:

  1. We will be disappointed with the results, no matter how well things go.
  2. We will lack the inner resources we need to love others the way we should and confront life successfully.
  3. We almost always will be hurt or offended eventually by the one we trust.

When we trust in people and things our inner security is dependent on someone or something we cannot predict or control and that is limited.  Often our ability to give is dependent on what we get from from others.  If I am not getting what I want, then I don’t give what I know I should.  This leads to a life of disappointment and frustration.  When our expectations are that others meet these needs it creates a negative atmosphere of tension in our relationships.  It can even push the people around us away and create a gap in our relationships.  We are constantly disappointed with the people around us, because they can never live up to our expectations of meeting these four basic needs.

The answer is to put our trust in God to meet these basic needs.  When we trust in God our inner strength and security are dependent on God who is faithful and has unlimited resources.  Our ability to give to others flows from God living in us.  When others are not giving to us, we can still love generously and unconditionally which strengthens all our relationships over time.  Our lives are filled with an atmosphere of blessing, satisfaction and optimism because our perspective has changed from other people to God.  Our expectations of others changes, which takes pressure off of them and us.

So, who is meeting your basic needs?  If it is other people, let me encourage you to turn to God and ask Him to meet those needs of acceptance, identity, security and purpose.  As your relationship with God grows those basic needs are met in a deeper and more significant way.  The results are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness and self-control.

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Contentment Leads to Happiness

 

What does contentment mean?

“Contentment is realizing that God has already provided everything I need for my present and future happiness.”

In the New Testament, the words content and contentment are translated from arkeo, which means “to be satisfied; to be strong,” and autarkeia, which means “to need no aid or support; sufficiency of the necessities of life.

“Be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee” Hebrews 13:5.

Six Thoughts about Contentment:

  1. Contentment is contrary to human nature and must be learned.

“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstance” Philippians 4:11.
           

  1. Contentment begins by knowing the purpose of Life.

“I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death” Philippians 3:10.

  1. Contentment requires distinguishing between needs and wants.

“But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that” 1 Timothy 6:8

“So do not worry , saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘ What shall we wear?’  For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Matthew 6:31-33.

  1. Contentment is based on a recognition of mutual need.

“Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God” Matthew 4:4

  • Discontentment begins by desiring self-sufficiency.

Genesis 3:1-6

  • Discontentment leads to covetousness (Greed).

“Then He said to them, ‘Watch out!  Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions”  Luke 12:15.

  • Covetousness produces idolatry.

The Tenth Commandment Exodus 20:17

  1. Contentment is achieved by exchanging things for more of Christ.

“What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things, I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ” Philippians 3:8.

“He is no fool, who gives what he cannot keep, to gain what he cannot lose.” Jim Elliot

  1. Contentment allows us to gain things of greater value.

The Parable of the Sower.  Matthew 13:18-23

v  Contentment is valuing God-given relationships more than earthly possessions.

Matthew 26:6-16

Mary of Bethany & Judas

v  Contentment is realizing that I am indestructible until my work is done.

Book of Nehemiah

Nehemiah

v  Contentment is avoiding the bondage of personal expectations.

Joshua 7

Achan

v  Contentment is rejoicing in the way that God designed me.

Luke 19:1-10

Zacchaeus

 

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Life in the Desert

 

Have you ever asked the question “why is this happening to me?”  Many of us have asked that question when we are going through difficult times in our lives.  We ask God why is this happening?  Why do I need to go through this?  I like to call the tough times in our lives desert experiences.  Both Mathew and Luke record Jesus’ time in the desert at the beginning of His ministry.  Jesus spent 40 days alone, in the desert, abstaining from food, noise and any distractions.  Jesus used this time in the desert to get closer to God.  Often times when we are in a desert in life, we focus so much on our situation that we miss what God has for us.  Maybe the question shouldn’t be why is this happening to me, but what are you trying to teach me or how can I grow as a result of this?

If our perspective is right this is what can happen in our desert experiences:

  1. We can recognize that God will sometimes lead us into seasons of growth.
  2. We can fight battles and overcome temptation to take shortcuts.
  3. We learn discipline and to depend on God.
  4. We are broken of self-sufficiency and self-promotion.
  5. We find our mission or purpose.
  6. We gain a new perspective.
  7. We are prepared for the next phase of our vocation, ministry or calling.

God will often use the difficult times in our lives to chip away at the rough edges and develop our character.  The main thing God wants from us is our love and dependence on Him.  When we work through the difficulties and issues of life with our focus on God and not our problems we can emerge from the desert with new life and energy.  Often times God works through people and when we reach out to the right people in times of difficulty we can learn, grow and change.

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Fear Not

 

Why are you so afraid?  Jesus spoke those words to his followers after he calmed a storm.  It’s a question he is still asking all of us.  Why are you so afraid?  Do you still have no faith?

Here is what was happening at that time.  Jesus had been building his ministry and had attracted many people.  He had just spent most of the day teaching the people gathered about the Kingdom of God.  He was teaching in stories, and many of the people had trouble understanding the stories and their full meaning.  He would always take time to fully explain his stories to his closest followers.  The Bible tells us that when he was alone with his own disciples, he explained everything.

So after a day of teaching and then explaining the teaching in simple terms to his disciples, he said to his disciples “Let’s go over the other side.”  So off they go to cross the Sea of Galilee.  This sea is known for having violent and unexpected storms.  When the storm hit, these seasoned fishermen panicked, thinking the storm was going to sink the boats and they would drown.  This was no ordinary storm it was bigger than any of them had experienced before.  As this storm began, Jesus was sleeping.  He was tired from a long day of teaching.

Jesus knew this storm was coming, yet he chose to go to sleep.  That really bothered his followers.  How could he sleep at a time like this!

They finally woke him up and said; don’t you care if we drown?

Does any of this sound familiar?  Our lives are full of unexpected violent storms.  It often feels like Jesus is sleeping and does not care that we are in this sorm.  We feel like we need to cry out and wake him up.  We want him to keep us safe and take the storm away.

The disciples knew who Jesus was, they believed what he was teaching them, yet they underestimated his power.  They did not fully trust that he would not let them drown.  We often get spiritual amnesia and don’t remember all the things God has done for us and how He has helped us in the past.

 We are the same way, we believe in God and may even have read and studied what he has to teach us; yet we don’t fully trust him with the storms that come up in our lives.  We often equate our lives being out of control as God not being able to control.

Think about the storms in your life-the situations that cause you great anxiety.  Whatever your difficulty or challenge, you have two options:

  • You can worry and assume that Jesus no longer cares like the disciples did.
  • Or, you can resist that fear, and trust that God is in control and He will guide you through the storm.

The difference is where we keep our focus – on the problem or on God.

We too often try to take control of the ship and fix things on our own.  When we do that and exclude God, he patiently waits for us to come to him and trust him, to put our faith in him.

Here are two lessons we learn in life’s storms:

  • We need to fight fear with fear.  Fear of the Lord is the beginning of freedom.  When we have the right fear and reverence for God, we obey Him and our focus is in the right place.
  • You and I must remind ourselves who’s in the boat with us.  When God permits us to go through a life storm, it’s usually to show us that there is no problem he can’t solve.  There is no storm that is too big for him.

Traveling through these storms with Jesus in our boat strengthens our faith, develops our character and deepens our relationship with him.  That only happens when we completely trust him no matter what comes our way.  Even when we don’t understand why something is happening, God wants us to trust him and not be afraid.  When we try to lean on our own understanding we will fall down and miss what God has for us.

Proverbs 3:5-6 say “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”

Leaning means putting our full weight on him, resting on him without fear of falling.  God knows what is best for us, because he has a much bigger perspective than we do.

If you are in the middle of a life storm, know that Jesus is in the boat with you, or you can invite him into your boat.  Once there, he will never leave you, he will stick with you through the most violent storms imaginable.  Lean on him when you don’t know what your next move should be.  Trust God completely, he might not make the storm go away, but he will not let you drown.

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Emotions & Spiritual Growth.

I am currently reading a book call “I Quit” by Geri Scazzero.  I am about half way through it and am being challenged in many ways.  I highly recommend the book.  This quote really jumped out to me and I wanted to share it.

“It doesn’t matter how much you read your Bible, do good works, go to church, serve others, or know about God.  If you are not honest about your true feelings, you will be stunted in your spiritual growth with God and limited in your relationships.”

The three emotions she drills down on are anger, sadness and fear.  Many Christians try to hide these emotions because we have been taught that they are bad.  In reality these emotions are very important for us to understand and acknowledge.  If we don’,t all of our relationships are impacted in a negative way and we can slip into putting on our everything is OK face when everything is not OK.  When we face reality and the reasons we are angry, sad or fearful we can begin to chip away at the hurts, hangups and habits that cause these emotions.  We can start to see what is missing in our lives that has contributed to these emotions popping up.  We can begin to grieve the losses we have experienced.

So what feelings are you having that you are embarrassed about or that you think you should not be having?  If you are courageous enough to face your inner self head on and open up to a trusted friend, mentor or counselor, real freedom and growth will result.

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Amazing Lessons From Peter

As a leader, I must constantly be working on myself.  Leader’s that stop growing, quickly start declining and losing influence.  A great example of someone growing as a leader is Peter, one of the 12 disciples that followed Jesus.  Focus and self-discipline provide the foundation for solid leadership.  Peter learned this lesson the hard way.  Over a three and a half year period, God transformed Peter from a cocky, loud influence to a thoughtful, humble leader.  As I read in 1 Peter, one of his letter to the Christian Jews, he gives three directives in this area of focus and self-discipline:

  1. Guard Your Mind – Peter reminds us to put boundaries around what we allow into our minds.  What we allow in will influence us and deceive us.  Filling our minds with truth helps us to guard it from the lies that are all around us.  Peter tells us to remain focused and sober.
  2. Guard Your Hearts – He also reminds us that we need to prevent old patterns from penetrating our hearts.  He warns us about the former lusts, which can not only distract us, but can destroy us.
  3. Guard Your Lifestyle – Peter tells us to pursue holiness.  The only way to do that is to follow and embrace the model Christ gave.  Since God is holy, we should copy what we see Him doing.

Peter also talks a good bit about sacrifice and submission.  He tells us to respect and submit to authorities, regardless of how the authorities might treat those they are over.  He reminds us that God places all people in authority for His plans and His purpose.  Peter reminds us in chapter two about the sacrifice that Jesus made for all of us.  He suffered greatly and died for us.  Here is how Jesus responded to the insults, mockery, physical beatings, false accusations and carrying all our sin:

  1. Did not retaliate, but kept silent
  2. Made no threats
  3. No deceit came from his mouth
  4. Fully entrusted himself to the Father (God)

Peter also does a nice job of addressing husbands and wives.  No home can thrive without functioning according to sound spiritual leadership principles:

  • First he challenged wives to submit to their husbands, even those who do not submit to Christ.
  • When the wife submits even though she opposes her husbands decision, she gives a powerful witness to Christ and brings a special honor to Him.
  • Husbands are called to live with their wives in an understanding way.
  • Husbands are to honor their wives and model submission and service.
  • Husbands are to initiate blessing, rather than retaliate when things go wrong.
  • Husbands and wives need to assume responsibility for the health of their relationships, which means setting the tone.  To set the tone, they should initiate what they want others to do.
    • Get respect by showing respect
    • Get understanding by being understanding
    • Listen well, trying to understand instead of being understood.
    • Get quality time by giving quality time
    • Hears words of affirmation by giving words of affirmation
    • Get served by first serving
    • Receive unconditional love by first giving unconditional loving

He then talks about spiritual gifts.  Peter encourages us to make five observations about our spiritual gifts:

  1. Every believer has at least one spiritual gift. (1 Peter 4:10)
  2. Spiritual gifts are intended to serve people, not bolster our reputations. (v.10)
  3. We use our gifts as stewards or managers, not owners.  (v.10)
  4. God is the source and the sustainer of every gift. (v. 11)
  5. We are to employ our gifts as though we were serving the Lord. (v. 11)

When we fail to use our gifts properly, we are disobedient, the body of Christ (Church) suffers and God is not glorified.

Peter closes his letter by addressing church leaders and encouraging  them to lead well.  He calls church leaders to:

  1. Be a minister to the people by serving them before being served.
  2. Be a mentor of the people by eagerly investing in people and being a good example.
  3. Be a manager of the people by exercising oversight over those entrusted to your care.
  4. Be a model for the people by demonstrating how to live and love.

Peter encourages us to humble ourselves by casting all our cares on God.  Only then does God promise to exalt us.

I hope these thoughts from Peters letter are helpful in your spiritual growth.  I encourage you to go and read 1 Peter for yourself.  I am sure there are other nuggets of gold that may be just what you need.

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Nuggets from James

This morning I spent about a half hour reading through the book of James. What amazing truth and incredible wisdom. It was such a refreshing and challenging time that I thought I would share a few nuggets that really brought some renewed focus to my faith.

  • Compassionate Service – What a Christian does really matters – A good bit of James has to do with our actions.  How we treat other people, the way in which we listen and speak to other people, the way in which we serve other people.  The idea of compassionate service can only happen with a transformed heart.  On our own we tend to do the selfish thing, but when we are plugged into God and filled with His Spirit, we can love people unconditionally.  James reminds us that we are called to serve others.  The measuring stick of our commitment is not our lip service, but our life.  Here are a few principles James teaches us:
  • Selfish motives prevent a servant’s ministry
  • Following rules cannot save us, but following Jesus can
  • A lifestyle that costs nothing is worth nothing
  • A faith that is only in my head is dead
  • A worthless past is resolved by a present that works
  • Careful Speech – What a Christian says matters.  The way in which we speak and the words we use reflect what is inside of us.  The words we use have great power.  James calls it the tongue, and it can dispense both blessing and cursing.  Here are some things James shares with us on this idea of taming the tongue:
  • The tongue is a spiritual meter.  If we can bridle it, we can bridle the whole body.  It becomes the gauge for our maturity.  Our faith will never register higher than our words.
  • The tongue is like a horse’s bit, a ship’s rudder, or kindling wood.  It starts things in motion.  If we control it, we can guide our lives, just as a bit directs a horse and a rudder steers a ship.
  • The tongue is powerful.  Like a huge fire, it can ruin or bless our entire lives.  This power was meant to send us down the rigfht path, not to kill us.
  • The tongue can reveal what sort of wisdom we harbor inside.  A good tongue protects our integrity.  James asks:  Is yours a good guard or a bad one?  Does it create peace or reveal hypocrisy
  • Consistent Growth – How a Christian changes matters.  James calls us to be patient, just like a farmer who patiently waits for his harvest.  The farmer knows that if he picks the corn too early, he will miss out on some of the grain.  It’s the same way with us.  Spiritual growth is a process, not an event.  We grow daily, not in one day.  We are either growing or declining.  Our goal as followers of Christ should be to grow in our faith, in our character development and in our influence with others.  Here are some thoughts about growth:
  • Growth takes work and effort
  • Growth means you have to stretch out of your comfort zone
  • Growth means learning something new or developing a deeper understanding.
  • Growth takes focus, you can’t drift or get distracted.
  • Growth takes accountability, it accelerates when someone is watching.
  • Growth means learning from the past.
  • Growth takes action, practicing what you now know.
  • Growths means gratitude for past blessings from God.
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The God Factor

As I was reading in the book of Zechariah, I came across this passage that really jumped out at me.  It is in Chapter 4 verse 6:  “So he said to me. ‘This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty.

Zerubbabel had a huge job as a leader.  He was in charge of the group that was returning to Jerusalem to rebuild the city after it was destroyed by the Babylonians.  The task ahead of him was huge and looked nearly impossible.  The prophet Zechariah shared these words from God to him and they still apply to us today.  God’s word to him is everlasting and universally true:  Work hard and smart.  But if God doesn’t look favorably on your work, it will result in nothing significant.

God is reminding us that our success is not because of our own power and might, but because of His Spirit.  He will be the source of our victory.  We are partners with God in everything that we do. Great works are done by God’s divine hand.  The Lord works through people, so it is our responsibility to work hard and smart and seek God’s guidance and blessing.  We are responsible to manage our resources well and lead the people around us as best we can.  But prayer to God and dependance on Him is essential.  Great works are done by God’s Spirit, through us, to glorify Him.

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What’s You’re Vineyard?

I was speaking to a group of about 30 men Saturday night.  My talk was about Christian men and being a Real Servant.  One of the points I made was from Mathew 21:28-31.  This is the story of the two sons Jesus shared with some of the religious people of his day.  Here is the Message version of that story:

“Tell me what you think of this story:  A man had two sons.  He went up to the first and said, ‘Son, go out for the day and work in the vineyard.’  “The son answered, ‘I don’t want to.’  Later on he thought better of it and went.  “The father gave the same command to the second son.  He answered, ‘Sure, glad to.’  But he never went.  “Which of the two sons did what the father asked?”  They said, “The first.”

This is a simple story about talking and doing.  It’s about listening and being obedient.  The first son was honest and said he did not want to go work, but later felt conviction and changed his mind.  The second son was probably not being honest.  Maybe he just wanted to look better than his brother.  However he never followed through on his promise to go and do the work.

Our vineyard is whatever God is calling us to do.  No matter how good your intentions, if you don’t do it or go, it’s all wasted.  Just because I feel good when I hear or see a story of someone making a difference doesn’t make me a servant with compassion.  Just because my heart breaks for the starving homeless children and families in this world doesn’t make me a person with compassion.  I can think about giving more, going on a mission trip, leading a small group, praying more for the people in my life, shining brighter in my workplace, helping a friend that is hurting, but just thinking about it or even saying I want to do something is not enough.  I need to actually do it.  I need to make that step and go to the vineyard to do the work God is calling me to do.

We don’t have to go and do some huge, great thing for God.  We just need to go do our work in the vineyard.  There will always be more people willing to do great things for God than there are people willing to do little things.  But those little things can help God accomplish great things.  Instead of waiting to do something big, be faithful in the little everyday things He is calling you to do.  The small meaningless things you are doing everyday is preparing you for the plan God has for you.  Loving God means obeying God by doing what He says.

Which son are you?