Category: Character

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How Healthy Are You?

 

When we talk about health most of us think about our physical health.  That is an important thing and I try to take that seriously by eating healthy and exercising.  Emotional and spiritual health is something we don’t think about or talk about as much.  I believe that they are even more important than physical health because they contribute to physical health.  When we are unhealthy emotionally or spiritually it can actually contribute to physical problems because of the unhealthy beliefs and thinking that contribute to the emotional state we are in.  So how do we get a handle on how healthy we are emotionally.

One of the biggest indicators of emotional health is the level of trust a person has.  The dysfunction of mistrust hurts relationships, marriages, work environments, churches, families and even entire countries.  Mistrust and control often go hand in hand.  At its core control comes from not trusting others to make healthy and wise choices.  Mistrust is often present when there is not proper clarity and when boundaries are not defined.  When their is a lack of communication people begin to mistrust.  Here are some things that create a culture of mistrust, either at home or at work:

  1. Approaching people from the beginning with an attitude of mistrust. Many people have a built-in attitude of mistrust.  This attitude says, “I will not trust you until you prove that I can trust you.”  That is the reverse of what a healthy person would think.  This attitude often is the result of being hurt in the past and therefore guarding against that ever happening again.
  2. Believing something to be true when you don’t have all the facts.  In other words assuming things that turn out to be false or untrue.  This happens when you don’t ask questions and dig for the truth.  It also happens when you automatically think the worst instead of believe the best.
  3. Believing what someone says without hearing the other side of the story or knowing all the facts.
    Healthy people don’t draw conclusions without doing due diligence.

So how do you build trust?  How do you change a culture in a home, church or workplace that has mistrust?

  1. Choose to trust unless you are given a reason not to.
  2. Assume that motives are right even when you disagree.
  3. Be proactive in clarifying issues rather than assuming something to be true.

Finally here are some trust building principles that will help transform your relationships at home and at work.

  • Choose to Trust – Choose to trust people unless they give you a reason not to.  When trust is broken make the effort to let that person know how trust can be re-established.
  • Be up-front and candid – Tell people what you are thinking and don’t hope they pick up on your hints.  Tell people what your expectations are and be clear about what you are thinking and why.
  • Keep your Promises – Do what you say you will do and be honest when you know you can’t.
  • Act Consistently – Your life needs to match your words.  You need to be consistent in how you treat people, how you express love to people and how you handle conflict.
  • Listen Carefully – This will transform your relationships because it will help to cut down on misunderstandings.  To listen well you need to ask clarifying questions, repeat back what the person said, honestly consider peoples opinions and suggestions and even change your mind if they have a better idea.  Seek first to understand and then to be understood.
  • Caring for People – Be genuine and treat people the way you would want to be treated.  Care about them as a whole person not just for how they can help you.  No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care.
  • Be Self-Disclosing -Be quick to admit your own weaknesses and when you have made a mistake.  Share your story with people in appropriate ways.  For people you are close with open up and share the good the bad and the ugly.  If you are hiding something, it eventually comes out in your behavior.
  • Empower people don’t control – Give people the freedom to do what they are responsible to do.  Allow them to make mistakes and coach when necessary.  In a marriage relationship this means allowing your spouse to have other friends and activities they enjoy.  Clarify your desires and vision for your marriage.  Speak their love language without expecting them to speak yours.  Don’t give in order to get.
  • Clarify, don’t Assume – Always believe the best instead of assuming the worst.  When he is late again, believe that he had a busy day and something unexpected came up instead of assuming he intentionally worked late to make you mad.

Healthy people trust, unhealthy people mistrust.  It is the same way spiritually.  Healthy people trust God completely and believe He will do what he says He will do.  I encourage you to get healthy, take a risk and start trusting more.

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7 Ways Leaders Should Handle Criticism

If you have been in leadership for any length of time you know that you will always get criticized and that criticism always changes you as a leader, whether in a good way or a bad way.  Unhappy people tend to attack the point person.  We see this throughout the Bible, when Moses was leading his people through the desert they were constantly complaining and criticizing.  His own family criticized him, yet he persevered through it and grew as a leader.  Here are some guidelines we can learn from Moses and other leaders in the Bible on how to handle criticism:

  1. Maintain Your Humility – Humility is one of the most powerful traits of a great leader.  Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking about yourself less.  Humility allows you to look past the criticism and look for the nuggets of truth that can help you grow or make changes that truly help move you forward in your vision.  Humility helps a leader be less defensive.
  2. Face the Criticism Squarely – Great leader’s go directly to the person criticizing and listens to them.  This allows the leader to correct misunderstandings, redirect people that are off-base and cast vision for why we do what we do.  This is hard work, but necessary if you want to lead well.
  3. Be Specific About The Issues – Great leader’s are very clear.  Don’t dance around the topic of criticism, be specific.  Push the person criticizing to be specific and give examples.  Ask them what they think would be a better way or what other options might be available.  Also be willing to apologize if you were not clear in something you communicated.
  4. Understand the Difference Between Constructive and Destructive Criticism – Who benefits? Challenge the person if the criticism is destructive and meant to hurt instead of help.  If you are asking for feedback on a regular basis and seeking criticism it will often turn destructive criticism into constructive.  This takes intentional vision casting and expressing an openness to listen.  If people feel safe to tell you something they don’t like, they are more likely to come to you.  If you bite their head off when they criticize they won’t come to you, but will tell everyone else.
  5. Guard Your Own Attitude Toward the Critic – Don’t get defensive, but stay objective.  Your attitude will go a long way in determining the outcome.  If you go in with both guns blazing, attacking the critic, they will fire right back or shut down and then go tell everyone they know how you handled the situation.  Every encounter with a critic is an opportunity.
  6. Don’t See Only the Critic; See the Crowd – Is this an isolated piece of criticism or is it widespread.  If a lot of people have the same criticism the approach must be different than if only one person is complaining.  This takes work to know your followers and to get the feedback to know if this is a bigger issue.  As a leader it is vital that you are in touch with your followers.  They need to have clear open ways of communicating with you.  You need to be intentional about meeting with people one-on-one in order to hear their heart.
  7. Make Sure You Are Emotionally Healthy – This is huge for leaders.  If you are not healthy emotionally, criticism will eat you up.  All the hurts you have inside will leak out in unhealthy ways.  Your perspective will be off and your focus will be on yourself, not the bigger picture.  Emotional health will determine the level of your leadership.

I lead at a Multi-site church and I must say that criticism has helped me to grow as a leader.  I work hard at being open to push back and criticism.  I pay attention to comments that come in.  It takes courage for someone to make a critical comment and it deserves to be followed up with.  I recently had a new person to our church share something that was critical of something we did.  I sent her an email explaining our motive behind what we did.  I cast vision for who we are trying to reach as a church.  It helped her to better understand the why behind what we are doing.  I had opportunity later to talk with her and her husband on the phone and even pray with them.  I also have around 10 people that I often ask for criticism and feedback on what is not working, what is working, what is missing and what is confused.  These conversations help me to get a better understanding of what the perception of the people really is.  It also helps me to communicate more clearly and cast vision more effectively.

Lead On

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Six Guidelines for Forgiveness

Practicing forgiveness is one of the most powerful ways a person can stay emotionally healthy.  This is the most effective way to release negative emotions like anger, resentment, hurt and unloved.  Because this is such an important part of healthy relationships I want to give some guidelines on forgiveness:

  1. Forgiveness is a choice – We seldom feel like forgiving someone that offended us or hurt us.  It is an act of our will to let go of the the offense.
  2. Forgiveness is a matter of stewardship – Colossians 3:13 says “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”  Because we have been forgiven, we should forgive others.  We often choose not to forgive because the person that hurt us does not deserve to be forgiven.  The truth is that no one deserves to be forgiven.  When we remember the grace that God gave us it can help us to extend that kind of grace and forgivenees to others.
  3. We should forgive whether or not our offender asks for forgiveness – Jesus forgave the people that abused him and nailed him to a cross.  Forgiveness is not based on whether our offender deserves our forgiveness or whether or not they ask for it.  We are to forgive because we have been forgiven.  Forgiveness releases negative emotions and when we wait for someone to ask for forgiveness those negative emotions can cause much damage to our emotional state and relationships.
  4. We should not make our forgiveness conditional – God forgave us with no strings attached, we should do the same.  We should not say:
    • I’ll forgive you if you promise to never do it again
    • I’ll forgive you if you clean the house.
    • I’ll forgive you but I’m going to sulk for days
    • I’ll forgive you but only after I tell you everyone what you did
    • I’ll forgive you this time but not if you do it again.

Genuine forgiveness never involves an if or but.

5.  It is OK to share with our offender how deeply we were hurt by what happened – We shouldn’t put conditions on forgiveness, but it is healthy to share with the offender how much you were hurt.  It is also healthy to set boundaries with people that have hurt us, so that it does not happen again. If someone has been beating you physically there needs to be clear boundaries so that does not happen again, and if it does there are clear consequences.

6.  Forgiving does not mean forgetting – Just because you forgive, does not mean you forget.  It is the first step toward forgetting.  Usually there needs to be a time of rebuilding trust with the person that hurt us.  This can take time and require clear boundaries.  Forgiving means I am choosing to release the offense or cancel the debt.  The person does not owe me anything anymore.  There is great freedom when you practice genuine forgiveness.

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Asking For Forgiveness

 

How we ask for forgiveness is critical.  I don’t know of any relationship that has lasted very long that has not had to practice forgiveness.  This is the key ingredient that makes all the difference.  Unhealthy relationships lack true forgiveness.  Old problems and conflict are brought up on a regular basis and used to hurt the other person.  I will be writing several posts in the coming weeks on this idea of forgiveness.

If I accidentally spill a cup of coffee on you, I have not sinned against you, so I do not need to ask for forgiveness.  But I should apologize for what I have done.  On the other hand, if I throw a cup of coffee in your face, I have sinned against you.  I need to ask you to forgive me.

So, is an apology the same as asking for forgiveness?  No.  The right way to go about asking for forgiveness is to first name the specific sin, and then explicitly asking the person for forgiveness:  “I was wrong for yelling at you and using that language with you.  Will you forgive me?”  I named the sin and asked for forgiveness.  If I would have said, “I am sorry for yelling at you,” and stop there, the typical response from the offended person is, “Oh that’s okay,”  or “it’s no big deal.”  What has happened there is the offender has not admitted to sinning against the other person.  Secondly, the offended person has lied by minimizing the sin.  It is not okay for someone to sin against another person.  This is not the way to healthy relationships.

So the key is recognizing and admitting when we sin against another person.  When you admit your mistake openly and ask for forgiveness for that offense it now puts it into the other persons court to make a decision.  Either I choose to forgive that person or not.  I may not be ready in that moment to forgive if it was a deep hurt or has been a long term thing.  I should consider if the person is trustworthy and sincere.  Even if they are not totally sincere or trustworthy, it is still my decision to hold onto the hurt or release it by forgiving the person.  Unforgiveness is the root of most anger issues and will destroy your relationships.  Choosing to forgive is the beginning of healing and wholeness.

Next time I will talk about why we don’t forgive.

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Lessons From The Life Of King Asa

I was reading the story of Asa king of Judah in 2 Chronicles 14-16 today.  Asa started strong but did not finish well.  This story demonstrates that God is perfect and all-powerful and people are imperfect and make mistakes.  As king, Asa came very close to being a great leader.  He traveled a long way with God before he got off track and went his own way.

Early in his leadership he turned to God when he was in an impossible situation with army of the Cushites, which outnumbered his army by 400,000.  God helped him crush the Cush army, that sounds funny.  After that great victory, God brought peace to the nation for many years.  But there was a bigger challenge on its way.  Over the years Asa and Israel’s new king Baasha had conflict and Baasha actually became the aggressor and was building a fort city that threatened Judah.  Instead of turning to God and asking for wisdom on what to do Asa turned to his own wisdom and bribed King Ben-Hadad of Aram to attack Baasha.  It worked and Baasha was defeated and driven back.  However this was not God’s plan and God sent a man named Hanani to rebuke Asa and warn him of his mistake.

Asa flew into a rage and jailed Hanani.  He also took out his anger out on more of his followers.  His greatest failure was missing what God could have done with his life if he had been willing to humble himself.  His pride caused him to not finish well as a leader.  He stubbornly held onto his failure until his death.  We too can do this by not admitting our failures to God and asking for forgiveness.  The ends do not justify the means.  That thinking usually leads to sin and failure.  Here are some lessons from Asa’s life for each of us:

  • God not only reinforces good, he confronts evil
  • Efforts to follow God’s plans and rules yield positive results
  • How well a plan works is no measure of its rightness or approval by God
  • When confronted about sin in our lives humility leads to success, anger leads to destruction
  • When facing a challenge or hardship we should turn to God first and not rely on our own wisdom – seek wise counsel
  • Our attitude when criticized shows our true character
  • No matter how long we have been following God we must always be on guard, because we have an enemy that is always looking to take us out or cause us to rely on our own wisdom instead of God’s way.

No matter where you are in your spiritual journey, obeying God is always the best way.  To obey him you need to know his will for your life and that is to become more like Jesus Christ in how you live, think and behave.  Doing things God’s way can be very hard and may not seem to make sense at times, but it always leads to great freedom.

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Why I Love My Church

 

This past weekend we opened a brand new facility in Millersburg Ohio after meeting in a High School for three years.  I am grateful for all the sacrifice and work that went into making that happen.  It took a lot of people working together to accomplish what happened on Sunday.  This marks the beginning of another phase in the life of NewPointe Community Church, as we reach out to the Holmes County community through the Millersburg Campus.

I have been a part of NewPointe for 10 years and have enjoyed the journey.  It has been challenging, fun, hard, fulfilling and significant for me.  As I think about the church, it is way more than building a new building.  There is so much that goes into a healthy growing church.  So here are some reasons why I love my church:

I Love that NewPointe Community Church:

  • Is a safe place to hear a life changing message
  • Believes that people matter more than projects or events
  • Is willing to talk about the important and difficult issues of life like (sex, money, marriage, parenting)
  • Helps me apply the Bible to my everyday life
  • Is outward focused rather than inward focused – meaning we are more concerned with reaching people than keeping people
  • Is willing to take risks and make mistakes
  • Embraces and expects change
  • Pursues Excellence, but not perfection
  • Values being healthy emotionally
  • Is big on relationships and helping people connect
  • Is a place that I can serve and make a difference
  • Wants to partner with parents to impact children for eternity
  • Equips people to become better leader’s at home, at work and at church
  • Is a creative fun place
  • Is a warm, welcoming place where people feel accepted and loved
  • Is willing to take anyone
  • Mentors individuals and couples that are struggling with life
  • Empowers people to lead and serve
  • Embraces technology as a way to connect with people
  • Keeps things simple
  • Partners with local organizations to impact & improve our communities
  • Has a vision to Change the World!

Our vision is to lead people into a growing relationship with Jesus Christ.  That is why we exist and that is why we open the doors every day.

 

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Why Church?

 

Most people have had a negative experience at a church at some point in their lives.  Maybe it was frustration, confusion, rejection, boredom or just irrelevant.  The word church can bring up some bad memories for many people.  For others the church is a mystery because they did not grow up going to church.  It can actually be intimidating and confusing.  Yet the church exists and has for thousands of years.

The purpose of the church is an extension of the purpose of Jesus Christ.  So what is the church?  In order to accurately look at the church, we need to discover what it is not.

  1. The church is not a physical building – The building is simply a place for the church to meet.  It is a place to gather, but the building does not make the church.
  2. The church is not an institution or organization – The church is not a denomination or an affiliation.  Often times people say they go to a Baptist church or a Methodist church.  That may help to describe the over arching beliefs of the people that make up the church, but it is not the church.
  3. The church is not a set of services or activities – The activities we do are simply the vehicle that takes us to a prescribed result.
  4. The church is not just a congregation – A congregation is simply a group of people who gather together.

In the New Testament the word church refers to the universal church, which is all believers on earth.  It also refers to a particular location and the actual gathering of believers in any place for worship.  The word church also refers to the body of Christ, which is an analogy for how the church should function.  So why does the church exist?

  1. Evangelism – That’s a church word that means to tell people about Jesus.  Through the church is how people hear the good news of what Jesus did.
  2. Discipleship – This is simply the process of becoming more like Christ.  It is growing or maturing in faith and spiritual matters.  It is exploring God’s ways and following him as best you can.
  3. Worship – Worship brings the church to life and life to the church.  It is exalting God’s worth and acknowledging him as Lord.  Worship is expressed through singing, music, praying, reading Scripture, baptism, preaching, having healthy relationships, and the way in which you live your life.  It is keeping God first in all you do.
  4. Fellowship – The church must be a place that embraces a culture of encouragement.  People need healthy human relationships.  This is often accomplished through environments like small groups, mentoring, mission trips, social events, and healthy friendships.
  5. Ministry – Everywhere Jesus went, he extended grace and mercy to those who needed it most.  When people serve unselfishly, they become extensions of Jesus.  Ministering to a messed up, broken and bruised world should characterize the life of every followers of Jesus Christ.

The church is made up of people that all are working together to do those 5 things.  When a church creates environments where people can experience those things it allows them to mature as a Christian.  These environments should be designed to help people connect with God and give the Holy Spirit the opportunity to transform the person.  Environments are worship services, youth events, children’s classrooms, adult classrooms and training, mission trips locally and internationally, small group or home group, accountability groups, one-on-one mentoring, and many more.

The local church is the hope of the world.

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Problem Solving Do’s & Don’ts

Problem solving is a key skill to develop if you want to be a good leader.  Solving problems will get you noticed and give you influence.  Of course solving problems can be both positive and negative.

In the book of Genesis the story of Abraham and Sarah gives us a good example of trying to solve a problem on your own.  Sarah could not have children and was getting older.  God had promised them they would have many offspring and a nation would grow from them.  Sarah was impatient, and who can blame her as she waited for over a decade and no child.  Sarah decided to solve the problem on her own and convinced her husband to sleep with her servant Hagar in order to have a child.  It worked and Hagar got pregnant and had a son.  However this caused a lot of conflict in the household between Sarah and Hagar and Sarah ended up kicking Hagar and her son out.

This story illustrates what happens when you try to work independently of God.  Here are some mistakes that Sarah and many others make in solving problems:

    • Believing that God is inattentive, absent or even against you.
    • Allowing your circumstance to determine your understanding of God’s character
    • Having a scarcity mindset instead of an abundance mindset
    • Becoming self-seeking or self-focused which leads to manipulation to get your way
    • Feeling inadequate and insecure, fears that cause you to react in unhealthy ways
    • Resent the success of others and angrily turn on them
    • Blame others for the situation or problem
    • Conclude that you need to control the situation or fix the situation instead of waiting on God

So what are some characteristics of a good problem solver?

  1. They anticipate problems – When you can see a problem coming and prevent it before it happens that is great leadership
  2. They accept the truth – You face reality and are honest with yourself and others
  3. They see the bigger picture – You must understand where you are trying to go and what the vision is before solving problems.  This is about perspective
  4. They handle one thing at a time – This is all about focus and not getting distracted from dealing with the issue at hand
  5. They don’t give up when they are down – Things will not always go according to plans and that is when persistence and patience come into play.

So when you face a problem, how do you react?  Do you ignore it and hope it goes away?  Do you feel paralyzed or powerless?  Solving problems well comes from evaluated experience, learning from failures and overcoming mistakes.  It also comes from wise counsel with other people and staying connected with God who gives wisdom when we ask.  Here are a few things you can do to improve your problem-solving skills:

  • Look for trouble – Don’t avoid problems, but pursue them.  This takes both persistence and patience and a willingness to face messy things and speak the truth in love.  It means talking openly about the issues no one else wants to face.  This takes courage and confidence, but must be done with humility.
  • Develop a method – Systems are the best way to solve problems.  Take time to discover the real issues.  Usually the things we notice are just surface issues or emotions.  You need to dig in order to find the root issues.  Find out what other people have done in similar situations.  Study the options that come out of your research and then prioritize solutions and try one.
  • Surround yourself with problem solvers – This means finding people that are good at areas you are weak.  Diverse thinking usually leads to more creative solutions.  Seeking wise counsel is always a good idea when trying to solve problems.  You should have people in your life that you can go to when you need help solving certain types of problems.  For example when you are having problems in your marriage you need to find someone that can mentor you in that area.  When you are having problem financially you find someone that can give you wise counsel in that area.

Take the initiative to solve problems.  Ask God to give you wisdom, patience, discernment and the right people to help you solve the problems you face.

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The Secret to Great Leadership

 

What do the greatest leaders, husbands, wives, parents, friends, bosses, politicians or pastors have in common?  I believe they get the idea of serving people.  Servant leadership has been around for a very long time, it was the way Jesus led and many of our best leaders throughout history got it as well.  Robert Greenleaf said it well: “The true test of a servant leader is this: Do those around the servant leader become wiser, freer, more autonomous, healthier, and better able themselves to become servant leaders?”  Would the people you lead say that about you?  Would your spouse say that about you?

The main thing that keeps us from serving the people around us is our ego.   Selfishness is the destroyer of relationships and leaders.  One of the keys to becoming a better leader, husband, wife etc is to be humble.  Here are two great definitions for humility: Ken Blanchard – “People with humility don’t think less of themselves; they just think about themselves less.”  Fred Smith – “People with humility don’t deny their power; they just recognize that it passes through them, not from them.”

The other thing that keeps us from serving others is fear.  We fear losing control, being taken advantage of, not being heard, being rejected, failing, looking stupid and on and on.  To battle against these fears we need to practice unconditional love.  Think about the way you love your child.  You don’t only love them when they perform well, you love them no matter what.  That is called unconditional love, and that is what makes a leader great. In a business setting this means telling people the truth, being direct and yet gentle.  It means having the courage to challenge someone and do it it a gentle way.  It means you actually care about the people you lead and know them as a person.  It means you listen well and admit when you are wrong.

I came across this great acronym SERVE from the well known Chick-fil-A organization.  This is the guide they use in all their management and leadership training.  I think it is a great tool to use for our personal mission statements and for any business.  Here it is:

  • S stands for See the Future – Having a clear vision of where you want to go is crucial.  Whether that is for your business, your family, your marriage or your church.  Once a clear vision is established, goals and strategies can be developed to help get you there.
  • E stands for Engage and Develop People – In order to engage and develop the people you have influence with you need to know them.  This means understanding what their goals are and helping them get there.  It also means understanding what speaks to them, what they care about.  To engage someone you need to pay attention to them and listen.  This is where the idea of mentoring comes in, walking along side someone to help them get better.  It can also be coaching someone on how to improve in certain areas.
  • R stands for Reinvent Continuously – This means on a personal level are you learning, growing and getting better?  The greatest leaders I know are constantly reading, listening to someone speak, spending time with mentors and coaches to sharpen their wisdom and skills.  Everyone should have a personal development goal every year. This also applies to your organization or relationships.  Helping the people you lead grow and reinvent themselves helps your organization grow, the same can be said for a marriage.  It is also important to remain flexible through this process and understand that if something is not working, stop doing it and try something else.
  • V stands for Value Results and Relationships – Both are critical for long term success.  You can have it both ways if you are a servant leader.  When you have high expectations for results and relationships your influence goes up, because the people around you know that you care about them and yet expect the best from them.
  • E stands for Embody the Values – This is all about building trust.  Do your actions line up with the talk?  Do you live consistently with the values you profess?  Where there is trust there is strength and health.

Serving the people you influence is hard work, but the rewards are well worth it.  Be strong and courageous and lead by serving well.

 

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Seven Qualities That Attract People To A Leader

I’ve been involved in leading people over the last 20 years.  In business, in a local Chamber of Commerce and other community organizations and in the church as a volunteer leader and as a staff member.  No matter where I was serving, the people I was trying to lead were asking, “why should I follow you?”  Most people buy into the leader before the cause or vision.  Even if they are bought into the vision, they will be either more or less committed because of the leader.  I know that many times in my leadership I did not understand that and blindly charged forward without understanding the importance of building the confidence and trust of those following.

Here are seven qualities that I believe are vital for leaders to build a tribe and make a difference:

  1. Calling or Passion – A leader that is passionate about what he is doing and feels called to it will attract people.  Being passionate about something means you are willing to sacrifice for something.  My leader Dwight Mason has said that “if you want people to bleed for something, you need to hemorrhage.”  People can tell very quickly if you feel called to what you are doing or if it’s just a job.
  2. Insight & Wisdom – Leaders that can see the real issues and know the real problems are respected.  Insight is developed over time and through evaluated experience.  Leaders that understand people and why they do what they do can make better decisions and motivate people more effectively.  It takes insight to know how to connect with different types of people.  Knowing when to listen and when to talk, when to push and when to back off comes from insight and wisdom and from failing and learning from it.
  3. Character – It takes character to win and maintain trust.  Doing the right thing even when it hurts and is difficult builds respect.  Character is often exposed in difficult times and character is developed in those quiet moments when no one will know and you still do it right and make it right.  Without character leaders eventually fall.  No one is perfect, yet the best leaders know that people are watching them and approach their leadership as a way to positively influence the people around them.
  4. Charisma – People like leaders that make them feel good about themselves.  People will follow you if they like you.  Having an approachable demeanor and friendly personality are important.  When you walk in the room do you bring energy to that room and do people want to be around you?  Sometimes leaders have to work at this if it does not come naturally.
  5. Competence – You need to know what you are doing and talking about.  People can tell quickly if you are just talking and dancing around the issues.  Leaders that know what they are doing and that surround themselves with people even smarter than they are excel in leadership.  The best leaders are constantly growing and learning and getting better at what they do.
  6. Communication Skills – You don’t need to be a highly polished speaker, but you do need to be able to effectively communicate the vision and values that you are passionate about.  It is also important to be able to communicate in a variety of ways.  Both verbal and non-verbal communication is important.  The way in which you communicate is important, knowing when to call someone and when to email or when to go see them in person.  Also the ability to communicate to a large group, small group or one-on-one is vital for great leaders.
  7. Courage – Courage is making the tough calls despite the fear.  When people know that you are willing to take risks and lead in a bold courageous way they will follow you.  It takes courage to lead and move ahead even when not many are choosing to follow.  Knowing when to take a stand and fight a battle is an important attribute of a leader.  It also takes great courage to humble yourself and serve other people and to be transparent with the people you lead.

Lead On!