Category: Character

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Self-medicating

Are you self-medicating? When we experience physical pain or illness we seek medicines from the doctor to cure the ailment or end the pain. However when we hurt emotionally or spiritually, we usually end up medicating ourselves in ways that numb the pain but rarely cure the hurt.

We self-medicate in many ways, but the goal is always to mask the pain of whatever we have experience or are experiencing. We look for things that make us feel good for a short period of time. It can range from actual drugs like tobacco, alcohol, marijuana, painkillers or sleeping pills to things like caffeine, food in general, chocolate or ice cream. Other times it can be things like pornography, affairs, spending money, gossiping, or over-working.

All of these things ignore the real issues in our life and keep us from experiencing real freedom and relational health. The best way to medicate ourselves is to turn to God. He tells us to cast all our worries and problems on Him, because He can handle it all. God invites us to give our anxiety, depression, anger, frustration, greed, jealousy, fears and worries to Him and let Him deal with it.

That sounds simple, but it can be hard to do. Why? because we like to take those things back after we give them to God. We like to go back to what is familiar and comfortable. So, when you catch yourself self-medicating after you have been hurt, pause and invite God in to help you deal with the real hurt you experienced. When you open your heart and pour it out to God He fills it back up with healing, comfort and peace.

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LifeStyle Change

I am so excited about the new series NewPointe Community Church is starting called “The Me I Want To Be”. Most of us know that the person we are right now is not the best version, the version God designed us to be. At times we get glimpses of that best version, but those times can be few and far between. One of the things that I have discovered is that to achieve true long lasting change I need to change my life style, not just a few behaviors.

About three years ago my wife and I made the decision to get healthy. We got involved in a wellness program that helped us to lose weight. We both dropped weight over the three months we were on the program. What usually happens after we lose weight is that we slowly gain it all back, because we are not on the “program or diet” anymore. This time it was different for Vikki and I. We made the decision to make this a lifestyle change. We decided to keep doing the things that gave us the great results. We continued to eat the right kinds of food in the right portions. We continued to exercise, actually we both increased our exercise over the past three years.

Guess what happened, we started to think differently about food and exercise. We started to think in a healthy way about what we ate and how we exercised. The results have been great for us both. Between the two of us we have lost over 60 pounds and kept it off. We lowered our cholesterol, mine dropped over 100 points, and lowered our body fat.

I am now running in 5k’s and hope to run my first half marathon this spring. I have been in an extreme exercise program for 7 weeks and have improved my conditioning, strength and flexibility dramatically. I guess you could say we have made significant lifestyle changes physically.

I have started making some of the same changes spiritually and emotionally as well. I am working on my spiritual growth the same way I worked on my physical growth. I have developed a growth plan for my spiritual life, my relational life, my financial life and my physical life. I now have a road map that I refer to to keep me on track.

In any area of our lives positive growth doesn’t just happen. When we are not focused on growing and being healthy spiritually, emotionally and physically we get out of shape. To get back into good shape, it takes hard work and long lasting changes.

For me to grow spiritually I need to spend time with God, in ways that work for me. Each of us do that in different ways. What works for me may not work for others.

One of the things NewPointe has done to help people grow spiritually is a new website called The Change Inside. You can go there every day for a Scripture to read and a short devotional to read. I encourage everyone to go there over the next couple months. Start to make changes in how you think about spiritual growth. Look for ways you can connect with God and draw closer to Him. You can also get a NewPointe devotional at our bookstore or at the info desk at the Millersburg & Louisville campuses.

Don’t wait to make a lifestyle change, start today by making the decision that a year from now you will be closer to the person you want to be.

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Commitment

I recently wrote a blog about Decide, Commit, Succeed. I thought I would zero in and drill down a little more on the idea of commitment.

We are all committed to something or someone. In marriage two people make a lifelong commitment to each other. Olympic athletes make a commitment to become world-class athletes in their sport. Many people are committed to their families and to their career’s. Some people are also committed to their faith.

All of us are at different levels and degrees of commitment in each of these areas.

Here are some examples of people that were committed to something:

  • Christopher Columbus – Was told his mission or vision was “Quite Impossible”
  • Orrville & Wilbur Wright – Were told it is impossible to fly.
  • Thomas Edison – Took nearly 1,000 experiments to develop filament for a light bulb.
  • Abraham Lincoln – Failed in 12 out of 15 elections in his life.
  • John Wesley – Average 5,000 miles a year mostly on horseback and 15 sermons a week.

People that make a difference are committed for the long haul. Even when obstacles get in the way they persevere and keep putting in the work needed to reach their goal.

So, what are you committed to? Here are some closing thoughts on commitment:

  1. Lasting commitment is making a decision before the solution is found, knowing the principle is right.
  2. Commitment is the motivator that keeps me moving toward my goal.
  3. Commitment lets other people know where I stand.
  4. Commitment gets me started while others stand, and keeps me going while others quit.
  5. Commitment helps me break through barriers and reach new heights.
  6. Commitment strengthens relationships.
  7. Commitment helps me grow.

If you are committed to the right things, it leads to health in all areas of your life.

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Finishing Well

I was talking with a friend and mentor of mine the other day after a funeral that we were both involved in. I asked Jim what he wanted people to say at his funeral. He is 88 years old. He paused and thought for a moment and then said “I want them to say that I was a decent man, that’s it.” Then he thought some more and said, “Chad, I want to finish well, not many people in the Bible finished well so I want to be one of the few that does.”

That made me really think about my own life and the legacy that I want to leave behind. It also made me think about what it means to finish well. I think for my friend Jim, he wants to finish with his focus on God and family. He doesn’t want to let his family down by making bad decisions or saying things to hurt people. He wants to remain humble, helpful and serve the people around him as best he can. I think he wants to pass on what God has given him to his family and friends.

I am 40 years old and want to finish well. None of us know how long we have to finish well. I may get another 48 years and get to the age Jim is at. I may only get a few more years. What I need to remember is that every day matters and every decision matters.

Finishing well doesn’t mean you have to live a perfect life, just a surrendered life. Finishing well is all about having the right perspective about your life, your purpose for being here and your relationship with God. Finishing well for me means building strong healthy relationships, growing in character, learning from mistakes and pouring what you have into the people around you.

My prayer for you today is to finish well, no matter what you did in the past you can make the choice to finish well from this point on.

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Decide, Commit, Succeed

On January 4th I started an exercise program that is pretty intense called P90X (Power 90days Extreme). The tag line for this program is Decide, Commit, Succeed. I like that a lot. If you want to transform your body, you need to first decide you want to do it. Then you need to commit to making it happen. If you make the decision and the commitment you set yourself up to succeed. Your decision needs to be more than just a desire to get in shape. You need a vision for your health and a goal to get there.

I just finished week 5 and have another 7 weeks to go. I already am seeing some great results. I am stronger, and more flexible. I can almost keep up with most of the exercises and I am less sore after workouts. I can do more reps and use higher weights. The hard work and dedication are paying off with more energy, strength, focus, and just feeling better.

So what do you want to change in your life? Maybe it’s your marriage or your workplace. It could be your physical health or maybe your financial health. Maybe you want to deepen your relationship with God. Whatever it is that you want to change or transform, it starts with a decision.

My decision to change physically came several years ago when I got a bad check up. My wife and I decided to change how we eat and how we exercise. We committed to eat healthier and get more exercise. We have been successful so far because of that decision and commitment. We both have lowered our cholesterol, our weight, our blood pressure and many other measurable things.

When you make the decision and make the commitment you then need to take action and actually do it. You need a plan or a guide to help get you there. For us we started with a program called Thin & Healthy, which taught us to eat the right portions and the right types of foods. It taught us to be more knowledgeable about what we are eating.

Next we started to exercise and be more active. I now am following another program that is helping me stay on track and get more fit. If I can stay committed to the program I will get results.

Spiritually it is the same way. When you decide you want to grow spiritually and make a commitment to God that you will do it, you need a plan on how to get there. One such program is Monvee. It is a spiritual formation tool that can help guide you on your spiritual journey. NewPointe Church is a test church for Monvee. You often need multiple ways to help you grow and change. For me physically it has been Thin & Healthy, Our Wellness program at work, my wife’s knowledge & skill at cooking, playing basketball, running 5k’s and now P90X.

Monvee could be one of your tools to keep you on track spiritually. The main thing is to decide, commit and succeed. Check it out and let me know if you are interested in joining Monvee NewPointe and discover your road map to a more intimate relationship with God.

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Anxiety

Did you know that about nineteen million Americans struggle with anxiety? Anxiety is the most common mental illness in the United States today. I work at NewPointe Community Church and have talked with many people that struggle with anxiety. Many struggle to the point that they can’t have healthy relationships, can’t keep steady employment and have multiple health problems.

Anxiety and worry go hand in hand. Worry is focused negative thinking, which can lead to anxiety which is the unpleasant sense of apprehension that comes with physical symptoms like sweaty palms, shallow breathing, rapid heart rate and general nervousness. Often worry and anxiety come from stress, it could be relational stress, financial stress, work stress, family stress. When a person is in constant stress their body produces way to much adrenaline and other chemicals that cause those physical symptoms. Over time anxiety gets worse and worse and our thinking begins to drive the anxiety.

For many people worry has simply become a mental habit. They automatically see events in their lives in terms of worse-case scenarios. Anxiety is often triggered by lies we believe and focus on in a negative way. The worrier will lie awake at night going through all kinds of what-if scenarios.

To overcome anxiety a person needs to deal with the root cause of the worry and anxiety. What lies are you believing about yourself, God and the world around you? The best way to identify lies we are believing is by reading truth. That is why I keep eleven truth statements in my desk drawer. I read through these on a regular basis and hand them out to people that are struggling with worry. These eleven statements come from the Bible. I often prescribe this to people by asking them to read these eleven truth statements out loud once a day for two weeks. What that does, is it brings your focus to something good and positive and true, even if it’s only a short period of time. If you can do that for 3-4 weeks it becomes a habit and can start to change the way we think.

To overcome anxiety you must develop new healthy habits for dealing with stress. Meditation is also focused thinking, but is focused on what is good. Meditating on Scripture is a great way to deal with stress. Prayer has also been proven to actually lower your blood pressure and reduce stress.

Philippians 4:6-7 says “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

In Mathew 6 Jesus teaches about freedom from anxiety. In verse 25 Jesus says, “Therefore I say unto you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on.” Again in verse 34 Jesus says, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things.” In other words, live in the present and don’t worry about the future which you can’t control or the past that you can’t change. Jesus is encouraging us to pray and give thanks instead of worrying. An attitude of gratitude and thanksgiving relaxes the body and calms the mind.

1 Peter 5:7 says “Give all your worries to him, because he cares about you.”

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True Compassion

Compassion has a way of turning peoples heads. The level of compassion to help the people of Haiti has been amazing. In times of crisis most people are willing to step up and try to help make a difference. The efforts in Haiti have been amazing as we continue to hear stories of people giving their time, talents and treasure to help. I am sure we will hear some truly amazing stories in the months ahead.

Jesus said this about the church, “You are the light of the world, a city on a hill cannot be hidden.” Jesus was saying that there is one force in this world that can shed life giving light on a dark and hurting world. Who was in Haiti before this tragedy? Many churches and Christian organizations were there trying to make a difference in peoples lives. The church is made up of people that are called by Jesus to love other people. That love for people is the motivator for churches to reach out and help people. That is why there were people on the ground with the people of Haiti trying to encourage and equip them.

So here is the question, how bright is your light shining. Is your bulb wattage at 25? 40? 60? or 150?

Showing compassion to the world is what we were called to do. We are not called to judge this world, but to love those in this world just like Jesus did. When we show unconditional love to a broken world it gets people’s attention. True compassion is unusual. Acts of compassion are not just giving money, although money is often needed. Compassion is helping people in need through relief, rehabilitation and development. If we never get to developing people, we are not showing true compassion. Relief is often the first step, but the real compassion comes in rehabilitation and development. That takes time and energy to help people become what God intended them to be.

Here are three reasons we should get involved personally in acts of compassion.

  1. When you let your light shine it will change you. True compassion changes you from the inside out.
  2. You change the world one person at a time. Every person matters to God.
  3. It does something to the heart of God, It blesses God when we show true compassion.

Being compassionate requires action. If you just think about helping, cry about a tragedy or talk about how awful something is, you are not compassionate. Compassion happens when something is done to help another person in need. When you do that little extra to show love and respect for a less fortunate person. I hope that everyone that reads this Blog post will pray for God to give them an opportunity to show compassion in a real way this week.

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True Contentment

One of the Scriptures that I memorized years ago is Philippians 4:11-13 “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.”

True contentment is usually learned in the hard times of life, when our financial security is shaken a bit. It’s amazing to me how little we can live on when things get tight. Paul is saying that true contentment, or lack of it, does not come from the circumstances we find ourselves in; true contentment comes from Jesus who gives us strength. Because Paul put his trust and faith in Jesus, he was able to experience a deep peace no matter what life threw at him.

His identity did not come from what he owned or what goals he was able to achieve. Instead it came from his relationship with God, who loves him (And Us), so much he sent His son Jesus.

Here are a few questions to ponder about your level of contentment:

  1. Do you really want a God-centered contentment?
  2. What are you afraid of losing, or what do you need to be happy?
  3. When you are feeling discontent, do you turn to God for strength?
  4. Do you see yourself as wealthy because of your relationship with God, or is wealth dependent on how much money you have?

When our treasure is in our relationship with Christ, we are free from the bondage of pursuing things and allowing circumstance to dictate our level of contentment.

Here is a final word from God on contentment:

“But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we will take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of faith.” 1Timothy 6:6-12.

God-centered contentment guards us from becoming prisoners of what we own or the kind of lifestyle we desire. It also protects us from the temptations and mistakes that can cause all kinds of grief in our lives.

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Hoarders

Over the past several weeks my wife has been cleaning stuff out of our house. We have accumulated a bunch of stuff that really we don’t need. It is so easy to allow things to build up in our closets and spare bedrooms. If you have every watched the show “Hoarders” on A&E you have seen how extreme some people can get with hoarding and accumulating stuff. When you watch a show like that it makes you sad for those people, but it is a reminder that we too can allow things around us to get out of control.

It can be the same way in all parts of our lives. If don’t pay attention to our finances we can soon find ourselves deep in debt and struggling to make ends meet. We can find ourselves in a crisis and have no savings to get us through.

How about with our health? It is so easy to allow ourselves to slowly gain pound after pound, inch after inch and soon find ourselves overweight and out of shape. This can bring on other health problems and really complicate our lives.

What about your spiritual life? It is easy to get complacent or off center with our relationship with God. That is why we need to clean house spiritually every once in a while. It is healthy for us to unload all the junk we have accumulated and leave it with God. Allow Him to take the stuff that is holding us back from going deeper with Him. When we clean out the closets and the spare bedrooms, where we tend to hide our stuff, it frees us up to fill it with the good stuff that God wants us to have. Things like peace, joy, kindness, gentleness, patience, love, self-control, compassion, gratefulness and friendship.

So, maybe you need to start by cleaning up your house and throwing out the stuff you don’t need or maybe selling it or giving it away. Maybe you need to bring some order and control to your finances. It could be you need to start working on your health. All of us can work on getting our spiritual houses in order. A great place to start is getting into the Bible on a regular basis. Develop a plan to grow spiritually and try to stay on track. NewPointe has a great resource coming to help people develop a spiritual growth plan. It’s called Monvee, an online spiritual formation tool that we are a part of. Check it out and ask me about it sometime.

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Anger

Anger is an emotion that all of us have had to deal with. It may have been growing up in your home with an angry parent. Maybe you have had an angry boss or co-worker. Maybe it was a friend or a relative. It may have been you ex-wife or ex-husband. It also was you and me. Everyone experiences some degree of anger in our lives.

The more I talk to people the more I am seeing this as an emotion that is in most people just under the surface waiting for an opportunity to come out. Nothing is wrong with the emotion of anger per se. What is damaging is how we express anger – for example, in violent actions against another person that causes injury to property or the person.

The Bible has a number of passages that directly deal with anger. In Ephesians 4:26, 27 it says “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” What Paul is saying there is that we need to deal with our anger immediately in a way that builds relationships rather than destroys them. If we nurse our anger, we will give Satan an opportunity to divide us and destroy the relationship.

When we bottle up any emotion it does not die. Emotions that become trapped inside us seek a way to express themselves. That is because emotions like anger were created to be expressed and felt. When we refuse to feel those emotions and express them in healthy ways we risk physical illness, pain, emotional damage, relational damage and psychological problems.

When we bury emotions we are burying a living thing. It would be like pouring water into a bucket. The water is our negative emotions and at some point the water will overflow the bucket and get everything around it wet.

One way to temporarily control anger is to take a time out. When you become angry and are ready to respond in a way that may damage another person emotionally or physically, take a time out. Refocus and collect your thoughts, pray and ask God to help you in that moment not to sin. You can also take several slow deep breaths, which will diffuse your anger. Deep breathing promotes relaxation and reduces stress.

Are you angry with someone right now? What can you do to resolve your issue with that person? Don’t let the day end without starting the process of mending and working on that relationship. The best way to work on your anger is to practice forgiveness. Not just verbally, but through prayer with God involved. Most of the time God also wants us to go to that person and resolve the real issue. The emotional root of anger can be pulled up when you forgive from your heart and share your true feelings in a loving way. You also need to make sure you are dealing with the real issues and not just the stuff on the surface. You may need some help to dig down and figure that out, but it’s worth the digging and the dirt.