Are You A Servant Leader?

Leadership is one of those things that people have a lot of opinions about. There are a lot of books, articles, podcasts and teaching about leadership. Yet this idea of servant leadership is still difficult for many people in our culture to grasp. It does not come naturally to most leaders and cannot be implemented simply by studying the ideas. Most leaders really grasp these concepts of leadership when they have a belief and personal relationship with the ultimate leader of all time Jesus Christ. Serving others as a leader is no simple, easy task; yet this style of leadership builds great organizations, teams and families.

In 1977 Robert Greenleaf coined this term and wrote a lot about it. Since then many others have addressed this radically different style of leadership. Larry C. Spears wrote about ten characteristics of a servant leader and John Barbuto Jr and David Wheeler added one more characteristic in their article entitled Becoming A Servant Leader: Do You Have What It Takes? These characteristics describe servant leadership and are a great lesson for all leaders to look to if we want to improve our influence and effectiveness.

So here they are:

· Having a Calling

· Listening

· Empathy

· Healing

· Awareness

· Persuasion

· Conceptualization

· Foresight

· Stewardship

· Growth

· Building Community

Calling – Do people believe that you are willing to sacrifice self- interest for the good of the group? Servant leaders have a natural desire to serve others. This notion of having a calling to serve is deeply rooted and value-based. Servant leaders have a desire to make a difference for other people and will pursue opportunities to impact others’ lives — never for their own gain. A servant leader is willing to sacrifice self-interests for the sake of others. This characteristic cannot be taught, so unless a person has a natural calling to serve, servant leadership is not a realistic or compatible style.

Listening – Do people believe that you want to hear their ideas and will value them? Servant leaders are excellent listeners. They are receptive and genuinely interested in the views and input of others. People instinctively understand that servant leaders want them to share their ideas and that these ideas will be valued. Listening is a skill that can be learned and is essential for those who desire to be a servant leader. Without good listening skills, many of the other characteristics described in this publication cannot be achieved.

Empathy – Do people believe that you will understand what is happening in their lives and how it affects them? Servant leaders can “walk in others’ shoes.” They understand and empathize with others’ circumstances and problems. Leaders who are empathetic have earned confidence from others by understanding whatever situation is being faced. This characteristic is a skill that comes more naturally to some people than others, but it is pertinent for all who aspire to be a servant leader.

Healing – Do people come to you when the chips are down or when something traumatic has happened in their lives? Servant leaders are people who others want to approach when something traumatic has happened. They have developed a remarkable appreciation for the emotional health and spirit of others. They are good at facilitating the healing process and others gravitate toward them when emotional needs arise. The ability to create an environment that encourages emotional mending is crucial for those who want to become great servant leaders.

Awareness – Do others believe you have a strong awareness for what is going on? Servant leaders have a keen sense for what is happening around them. They are always looking for cues from the environment to inform their opinions and decisions. They know what’s going on and will rarely be fooled by appearances. This skill is crucial to the development of servant leaders.

Persuasion – Do others follow your requests because they want to or because they believe they “have to?” Servant leaders seek to convince others to do things rather than relying on formal authority. They are naturally very persuasive and offer compelling reasons when they make requests. They never force others to do things. This ability is important for servant leaders to develop.

Conceptualization – Do others communicate their ideas and vision for the organization when you are around? Servant leaders nurture the ability to conceptualize the world, events and possibilities. They encourage others to dream great dreams and avoid getting bogged down by day-to-day realities and operations. They foster an environment that encourages thinking big and valuing the creative process. Those who want to be great servant leaders must develop an environment that fosters conceptualization.

Foresight – Do others have confidence in your ability to anticipate the future and its consequences? Servant leaders have an uncanny ability to anticipate future events. This is not to say they are psychic or always right, but they are adept at picking up patterns in the environment and seeing what the future will bring. They usually anticipate consequences of decisions with great accuracy. Those who want to be successful servant leaders need to have and develop this foresight.

Stewardship – Do others believe you are preparing the organization to make a positive difference in the world? Servant leaders often are characterized by a strong sense of stewardship. Stewardship stems from medieval times when a steward would be assigned to hone the skills and development of the young prince to prepare him for his reign. The kingdom relied on the steward to teach and hold the prince in trust so that he would be a successful king. Today the term stewardship involves many of the same things. A steward in an organization is responsible for preparing it for its destiny, usually for the betterment of society. When we describe a leader as having a strong sense of stewardship, we refer to a desire to prepare the organization to contribute to the greater good of society — not unlike preparing the prince to serve the greater good of the kingdom. Making a positive difference in the future is characteristic of the stewardship mentality. Those who desire to be excellent servant leaders need to have a natural sense of stewardship. If you don’t naturally have a stewardship perspective, it is unlikely that the servant leadership style will come naturally to you.

Growth – Do people believe that you are committed to helping them develop and grow? Servant leaders have a strong commitment to the growth of people. They believe that all people have something to offer beyond their tangible contributions. Servant leaders work hard to help people in a number of ways — spiritually, professionally, personally. Those who want to be great servant leaders need to connect to others’ developmental needs and actively find ways to meet these needs.

Building Community – Do people feel a strong sense of community in the organization that you lead? Servant leaders have a strong sense of community spirit and work hard to foster it in an organization. They believe that an organization needs to function as a community. A servant leader instills a sense of community spirit in the workplace. Those who want to be great servant leaders need to work hard to build community in the organization.

Servant Leadership Development

Servant leadership is characterized by a belief that leadership development is an on-going, life-long learning process. For this reason, servant leaders commit to continual development in the 11 characteristics of servant leadership. Some characteristics come more naturally to some people than to others. By their nature, characteristics such as calling, empathy, healing and stewardship are more difficult to learn and develop than other servant leadership characteristics.

These are characteristics that leaders must already have to be successful servant leaders. Characteristics such as listening, awareness, persuasion, conceptualization, foresight, growth and building community all are learnable skills, so servant leaders can continually develop these. I encourage you to reflect and thoughtfully assess the degree to which you have what it takes to be a servant leader. If you are committed to being the best servant leader that you can be, I urge you to continuously work to develop these characteristics.

October 10, 2013

Refocus Your Relationships

Last night I taught a class called Refocus Your Marriage. Really it could be called Refocus Your Relationships. I thought I would share a few of the opening comments I shared with that group.

Here are three important truths to remember:

You are made for relationships – We are made to need relationships. We all have three primary types of relationships: With others, with ourselves and with God. Each of those areas needs our attention and development.
You are made with the capacity to Choose – God gave each of us the power to choose. Choice equals change. Making a choice is often difficult because it requires change, and that change can be threatening. We choose how we react to everything around us. We choose the thoughts we have and those thoughts lead to emotions and behaviors. So in essence we can control our emotions and behaviors by the way in which we think.
You are made to take responsibility for yourself – The only thing you have control over is yourself. You get to choose how you think, what you think, what you say and what you do. When you start to focus on yourself and how you can grow and change you will begin to make progress in your relationships.

I want to introduce you to the emotion that destroys relationships. This has been going on for thousands of years since the beginning with Adam & Eve. It has been destroying relationships and people very effectively. At the core of every person is a button called fear. That fear takes many shapes, things like fear of failure, fear of abandonment, fear of rejection, you name it.

From where does this fear come from? Let’s take a look at the creation story with fresh eyes Genesis 2:17 – After God created Adam & Eve, he informed them about two special trees blossoming in the middle of the garden: The tree of life and the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Regarding the first he gave no commandment. But the second he said “you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die.”

Why did God create a perfect garden and then put these two trees right in the middle? Why not outside the garden? I think it was because he created us to depend on him, not living an autonomous life apart from him. He gave that command to not eat of the tree so that we wouldn’t become self-sustaining and insist on stubborn control of our own lives. He wanted us to daily choose to trust Him for everything we need.

I believe that command created a healthy fear in Adam & Eve, the fear of being separated from God. It also created a fear of losing each other as well. Well along comes Satan, or the Serpent and he plays on this fear. “Did God really say, You must not eat from any tree in the garden?” Eve replies exactly what God told them, we can eat from any tree in the garden except the tree in the middle of the garden, you must not touch it or you will die.

“You will not surely die, serpent said to the woman. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened and you will be like God, knowing good and evil. My guess is that Eve thought that her fear of being separated from God was not true and therefore took the fruit. This caused a whole new fear to take root. This fear was unhealthy and destructive. When Adam & Eve heard God walking in the garden they hid, because they were afraid. There fear caused them to respond in a certain way. After eating the fruit their response became unhealthy, defensiveness, blaming others.

Our relationships are much the same way. We all have hurts from our past or guilt from us hurting someone else. Those hurts and guilt drive the fear that drives our unhealthy behaviors. That causes us to struggle to have healthy, happy relationships. To learn more about this idea of fear and relationships read the book by Gary Smalley called “The DNA of Relationships”.

September 7, 2013May 11, 2022

A Word to Husbands

Relationships are hard and messy and most men are not good at developing healthy relationships. Once we get married it is easy to sit back and focus on our work and providing financially or focusing on our own needs. Most guys, myself included are selfish and we are not always thinking about how to love our wives or lead our household.

Peter talks about this in one of his letters that is part of the Bible. Peter talks a lot about submission, respect, blessing and honor. This is not only in marriage relationships but in all relationships. He writes this after having spent a significant amount of time with Jesus. After observing how Jesus treated other people he was able to write about how we should treat our bosses, our political leaders and our spouses.

I want to zero in on his comments to husbands. in 1 Peter 3:7 he is talking to husbands, I like the Message version of the Bible which says “Be good husbands to your wives. Honor them, delight in them. As women they lack some of your advantages. But in the new life of God’s grace, you’re equals. Treat your wives, then, as equals so your prayers don’t run aground.”

He is calling husbands to live with their wives in an understanding way. We are to honor our wives and model submission and service. We are to initiate blessing, rather than retaliate when things go wrong. Men are called to be spiritual leaders and that means we take responsibility for the health of our relationships. This means we set the tone and we initiate what we want others to do. Don’t wait for her to start treating you with respect before you make an effort to love and respect her.

The way we treat our wives will affect our spiritual health. It starts with us and how we respond to our wives. The words we use, the things that we do, the time that we take, and the way that we listen.

Peter sums this up by saying this “Be agreeable, be sympathetic, be loving, be compassionate, be humble. That goes for all of you, no exceptions. No retaliation. No sharp-tongued sarcasm. Instead, bless-that’s your job, to bless. you’ll be a blessing and also get a blessing.”

Now I realize that we won’t always get it right and we will mess up. We will do selfish things and say stupid things, but in order to love our wives we must keep pushing forward, trying to understand our wives and treat them as a precious gift. Being humble means asking for and giving forgiveness on a regular basis. The key is to not give up, keep trying to learn how to love your wife better, learn from your mistakes and above all else keep growing closer to God. Only God can help you to love your wife the way you should.

August 22, 2013

Prejudice

Did you know the word prejudice means “prejudging” or “making an estimate of others without knowing the facts?” I came across an article by Billy Graham about this topic and thought I would share some of his insight into this topic. I found this challenging and encouraging.

Graham says this about prejudice:

Prejudice stalks many countries. At times it is prejudice against a racial or religious minority within its boundaries. At times it is prejudice against people from other nations. At times it was prejudice or resentment against those who were wealthier or those who were poorer than the average. But prejudice is a universal problem. Why? One reason is because prejudice has its roots in pride-and pride is at the heart of sin. Just as sin is universal, so prejudice is universal as long as our hearts are untouched by God’s retreating power.

Prejudice is a mark of weakness, not strength; it is a tool of the bigot, but never a device of the true Christian. One of our great problems in this complex age continues to grow since modern man has forsaken the pathway of Christian mercy and understanding-and has chosen to walk the road of intolerance and intrigue.

All of us have personal biases and prejudices. Despite our improved educational system, our prejudices have grown in the past few years-so we can conclude that education is not the cure for all prejudice.

There is only one way we can get rid of prejudice: by the process of spiritual rebirth through Jesus Christ. Only then do we discover Gods love for all humanity, and only then will we begin to look at others through the eyes of God and see them as He sees them. Only then does Gods love begin to take root in our hearts, pushing out the hate and indifference and selfishness that have resided there. In myself I do not have the capacity to love others as I should, but “the fruit of the Spirit is love.” Yes, Christ can give us a love for others we would never have otherwise, “because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us” (Romans 5:5).

Billy Graham has a way of describing this that makes sense. Left to ourselves we will never love other people as God intended. We are quick to judge or at least make conclusions about someone before we get to know them. When our hearts start to transform as a result of following Jesus, we begin to think and see differently. Our actions follow and we begin to break the old patterns of prejudice, selfishness and resentment.

Jesus has this to say about this topic: ” Don’t judge other people, or you will be judged. You will be judged in the same way that you judge others, and the amount you give to others will be given to you.” He goes on to say this: “why do you notice the little piece of dust in your friends eye, but you don’t notice the big piece of wood in your own eye? How can you say to your friend, ‘let me take that little piece of dust out of your eye’? Look at yourself! You still have that big piece of wood in your own eye. You hypocrite! First, take the wood out of your own eye. Then you will se clearly to take the dust out of your friends eye.”

So it’s important to take a closer look at ourselves and work on our own issues before trying to work on someone else or prejudge someone else. It really starts with our own heart being set right before we can try to reach others. When our hearts are right we see others completely different and therefore how we go about helping others is completely different.

August 17, 2013

It’s About Time To Go!

Last Sunday my wife and I went on a bike ride on the local Rails to Trails in Millersburg. It’s a great place to ride, walk or run because its mostly flat. We were with several friends enjoying the beautiful day. The local Amish also use this trail with their buggies because it’s nice to avoid the traffic on the main roads.

On our way back we came up behind a buggy that was going very slow. I was in front of the group and had to slow down, because some other people were coming the other way on bikes. We all slowed down as we got behind this buggy and then a young Amish man turned to me and asked what time it was. I didn’t have a watch on, so I couldn’t help him out, but this is what I said in Pennsylvania Dutch, “I’s bout site for gaya” which means it’s about time to go. With that I quickly passed him and headed on up the path. (I know just enough dutch to be a little dangerous.)

That was a brief encounter, but I haven’t been able to get that phrase out of my head. I don’t know why that came to my mind in that moment, but here is what I’ve been thinking about.

It’s about time to go. Most of us go through life living safely, trying to be as comfortable and happy as we can be. Our motivation is often for what is best for us or our kids. We can live selfish, private lives and never really have much impact or influence in the world around us. It’s so easy to get into our comfortable buggy and ride along the familiar trail and occasionally ask someone what time is it? Yet That’s not how God intended it. God never promised that life would be safe and comfortable. He did promise that he is good and faithful to be with us no matter where we are at. That should give us courage to go wherever he directs us.

God is telling us that it’s time to go. It’s time to step out of our comfort zone and push ourselves beyond our perceived limits. Now I realize that means something different to everyone reading this. For some it might mean having a difficult conversation with their spouse, teenager or adult child. Maybe it’s confronting someone at work and speaking the truth in love to them. It might be to give up some things you enjoy doing so that you can serve at church or spend more time with your family. It might mean not taking that job because it would hurt your relationship with your family. It could be to downsize in order to get a grip on your finances. It might mean taking your relationship with God more seriously and start reading through the Bible. It could be asking someone for forgiveness and admitting how you got it wrong. Whatever it means to Go for you, don’t hesitate, start today, find a new trail or speed up on the one your on. God loves us but he also doesn’t want us to stay where we are at, he wants us to grow in every area of our lives: Spiritually, emotionally, relationally and even physically. Where do you need to go?

Whatever it is for you “I’s bout site for gaya.”

August 6, 2013August 6, 2013

Community Impact Day 2013

For the past six years NewPointe Community Church has shut down regular church services on a Sunday morning and went out into the community to be the church by serving others. One of the core values at NewPointe is Serving Others, so it’s important to put into practice what we value.

Once a year all of the campuses of NewPointe find projects in their local communities and people volunteer to give of their time, talent and energy to serve our schools, villages, nursing homes, non-profit organizations and individuals that are in need.

This year we had nearly 1,900 people serving in four different counties in Northeast Ohio. I serve as Campus Pastor at our Millersburg location and we had over 250 people serving on 29 projects throughout Holmes County.

One of the projects this year was with the Humane Society in the Glenmont area. Their property was run down and in need of repair and over 20 volunteers spent 4-5 hours working on cleaning, painting, weeding and fixing things. There is still some work to do, but that team made a huge dent in what needed to be done.

Another project was for a lady that had a kidney transplant that rejected, so she is back to doing dialysis. She has not been able to take care of her property, so a team of volunteers stained her deck, landscaped her property and did multiple other projects to improve her home. It was a total transformation of her property.

We also had three team go to local nursing homes to visit with residents and to provide two church services to residents. I was able to visit with two elderly gentlemen and the one man talked with me for several minutes and then I asked him if I could pray for him. He said yes and I prayed for him and his health and his family. When I finished I noticed he had tears in his eyes. He said that he doesn’t normally cry but that had been happening more lately. I asked him if he and his wife have a church home. He said they do not go to church. I told him he is welcome anytime when he is feeling better. I left information about the church and my name so he could talk to his wife. Who knows what God is going to do with that.

There are so many more stories that happened on Sunday. We don’t want this to be just a onetime event, so we are planning to have local serving opportunities throughout the year. As we find people and organizations that we can help, we will spread the word and organize work days to help out our community. We are calling it the Helping Hands Team. If you want to be on the email list to be notified of projects, you can email me at cstutzman@newpointe.org

There is no better feeling than when you serve someone else. Let’s be known as the church that serves.

August 2, 2013August 6, 2013

The One Skill That Will Transform Your Leadership

When it comes to leadership development there are so many resources out there that it can be hard to know what to focus on. I love reading about leadership and how to develop solid healthy relationships. Developing as a leader is vital for you to survive in your work environment, your home environment and in your own personal internal world.

There is no magic pill to take to become a great leader. It takes hard work, patience, failure and learning from experience to become a great leader. The same can be said of a great marriage or relationship.

The one skill that I have kept coming back to, that makes the most difference is listening. If I had to name one skill that could make the biggest difference in any organization, family, marriage or individual it would be listening.

When the people around you truly believe you are listening to them they feel that you care and value them. That creates a place where people feel safe, trusted and valuable. When people don’t believe you are listening to them, it creates many negative emotions like fear, anger, frustration, helplessness and indifference.

Entire books have be written about listening, but I want to give you a few simple things you can do at work and home to improve your listening quickly.

Stop trying to multitask – When you are in a meeting or someone is talking to you, stop what you are doing, turn your body to face them, look them in the eye and focus on what they are saying. When you have your computer open or are watching TV or are looking at your phone or glancing past their shoulder, you are sending a message that this is not important to you and that you aren’t interested. That immediately generates negative emotions in the other person.
Ask Questions – When you ask questions to clarify or find out more, it communicates that you really are interested and want to understand. This helps to avoid misunderstandings and keeps you from trying to redirect, avoid or be defensive. When you are seeking to first understand before being understood you will automatically start thinking of questions to ask before you start giving your answer or your defense.
Follow-up – When you follow up with someone or follow through on something it sends the message that you listened. Even if you cannot do what they asked, it is vital to get back with them and explain why. Simply sending a follow-up email, writing a note or sending a text are great ways to let that person know you heard them and value them. When someone tells you something or asks you for something and you never get back with them it sends the message that you don’t care and they are not important.
Respond quickly – When someone sends you a message, whether its a text, email, phone message or direct message, respond as soon as possible. Even if you can’t give them a full answer, at least acknowledge that you got it and will be getting back to them. People communicate through messaging and so as a leader it is important to respond as quickly as you can. It sends a message that you value them. Find a good system that works for you to respond to all the messages you get everyday – No excuses just do it.

If your focus is on listening to the people around you, you will also start noticing things. You will pick up on when someone is struggling or hurting. You can even get some great new ideas. Listening will also help you be more patient, less emotional and more respected.

If you think about the people you like to be around, it’s people that listen well, they ask you questions and seem to be genuinely interested in you. Listening is something that’s ultimately done by an individual. Yet an organization or family can also have a culture that endorses and supports listening in all directions and ways.

One of the best ways you can develop yourself is to become a better listener. The cool thing is that you can start today, right now, with the next conversation you have.

July 25, 2013May 11, 2022

How to Resolve Relational Crisis

I spend a good bit of time with people that are in the midst of personal catastrophes. Most are relational struggles, whether in a marriage, a family or at work. The health of our relationships are an indicator of the health of ourselves.

Whenever I am meeting with someone that is going through a relational struggle, I always try to bring it back to the person I am talking with. There is not much in life that we can control, but when it comes to ourselves, we do have a choice in what we do, think, say and believe.

For someone that has a broken relationship, it always starts with yourself. It is easy to look at those around you and blame their behavior, attitude or hurtful actions for why things are so bad. Yet that will never resolve the issue or change the circumstances. It always starts in your own heart. It starts with your own character. Your character is who you really are. It will reflect how much you accomplish in life and how well you love yourself and others.

Your character is the internal script that you follow in response to conflict, mistreatment, pain and even success. When that script is focused on yourself and preserving or getting what you want, the actions that follow will usually dig the hole even deeper or add fuel to the fire. Part of our character is the defense mechanism’s we have developed over the years in dealing with conflict and pain. It might be sarcasm, humor, withdrawing/silent treatment, yelling/escalating or even going into fix it mode.

Changing that internal script is hard work, yet it is the only way to work through a relational crisis. It starts by taking personal responsibility for what you contributed and how you have reacted. Then it involves the hard work of self-actualization, seeing yourself, your reactions, your character and your beliefs and where you are off course. This is hard work and will take the help of God and other people. It means being humble enough to ask for help and to admit your mistakes. When you get on your knees and ask God to change your heart and character, that is when the rough edges start to get smoothed out. It will take time, perseverance, patience and practice, but you can change.

Working on yourself is one of the most productive things you can do in order to be successful in life. Take the time and energy to get healthy emotionally, to work through the hurts and hang-ups from your past. Take time to grow in your faith and connect more with God and involve him in every area of your life. Take time to build trust with yourself and others and work on relational skills like listening, asking questions, asking for and extending forgiveness.

The best thing you can do for any relationship in your life is to be healthy emotionally, spiritually, relationally and physically. In a relational crisis the way in which you respond will either add fuel to the fire or add water to the fire. How you respond is a reflection of your character. The choice is always yours.

July 19, 2013

4 Ways To Growing Your Faith

This week I met with my older brother Brian for lunch. We don’t get to spend much time together anymore so it was nice to meet with him and talk about what is going on in his life. He is facing some big life-changing things like starting his own business, being an empty nester and getting involved in ministry at his church.

As we talked, I could see and hear how much God has been working in his life. He has grown more in the last two months than he had for the last several years. God really has gotten a hold of him and he is following God with all his heart. As I heard him talk about how close he felt to God I got to thinking about how many people aren’t experiencing that kind of relationship with God. Brian includes God in every decision and won’t make a move without hearing from God. He works hard at what he knows he should be doing and waits on God for things he is unsure of.

So here are a few keys I learned from Brian to growing our faith:

Listen – Most people are busy and we run from one thing to the other. We can fill our lives with all kinds of activities that distract us from listening to God. Brian’s new journey started while on vacation away from the distractions of life. Say no to some things so you can slow down and listen more and run less. Maybe its time for a short retreat to listen to God.
Read – Even if your not much of a reader, this is a key to growing spiritually. Most people don’t use much of the brain God gave them. I know I don’t. Reading the Bible and books about God, christian living, relationships and even leadership will stretch your mind and help you to grow. Brian told me he has read more in the last two months than he had in the last 10 years. He said his mind has been opened up and he is able to learn and grow like never before. Make a goal of reading a book of the Bible and another book on faith within the next two months. Reading feeds your mind and is one way to hear from God.
Pray – That may sound simple, yet many of us don’t take the time to pray. When we do its a quick thought or running through a list of items we need help with. What I am talking about is having a real conversation with God. Pouring out your heart and opening yourself up to what God wants to do in you. Start to pray out loud even when you are alone. Brian has gone on prayer walks and spends time throughout the day in conversation with God. Make it a practice to praise and thank God every day, confess anything that needs confessed, pray for people that God brings to your mind. Also pray for God to fill you with the Holy Spirit and for wisdom, courage and strength to do His will. You might even consider fasting and praying. Maybe you should get on your knees or even bow down on your face and pray & listen.
Do – It is great to read, study, learn and pray, yet if you don’t do something you will not change. Brian got involved in his church. He volunteered for the prayer ministry and quickly began leading that ministry. This helped him put into practice what God started in private. He started praying for people and God started using him to impact peoples lives. He did some things that made him uncomfortable and stretched him, and God used it to change him and the people around him. When you listen, read and pray God directs you in what to do. God will give you opportunities to influence other people, serve other people, encourage other people and even heal other people.

Lead On

July 4, 2013

Seven Communication Ideas

Communication is one of the most important skills a leader has. The ability to clearly communicate with the people around you is vital to the success of any business, marriage or relationship.

When it comes to any kind of leadership, it’s all about how you handle the relationships around you. Whether you are at home, work, school or out with friends, communication sets the tone. People want to be heard, understood and appreciated. If you can do that we’ll, you will be a great leader, spouse or friend.

Here are a few ideas on how to improve as a communicator. Do these these things consistently and your relationships will improve.

– understand your listeners frame of reference – this is important because everyone has a different filter. They have different experiences, personalities, hurts and hang-ups. So you need to think about how they might view what you are saying, not from your perspective but theirs.

– know the facts and the truth about the topic – focusing on the facts and truth can help take the emotion out of it. It also will help your listener understand the why behind your message.

– shed light on the issue – you need to clearly explain why this issue is important to your listener.

– get their full attention – you must know the best time to have the talk. Only address important issues when you have someone’s full attention. You might need to make a statement or ask a question that will get their attention. Never use negative tactics like sarcasm or yelling or swearing.

– use word pictures or stories – people remember pictures and stories much better than words. Try to use a story to bring clarity to what you are communicating and why you are feeling a certain way.

– focus on the real issues – it takes work to figure out the real issues that are driving someone’s behavior. Asking questions to try to understand the real issue is important, but you must listen without reacting or challenging them as they answer. Patiently ask clarify questions and even repeat back what they said.

– finally, be interactive – what I mean by that is don’t lecture someone, make it more of a conversation. When you listen before you speak, you send the message to the other person that you care about them. If things begin to escalate stop, take a deep breath and ask a clarifying question. If you cant do that, then you need a break until you or the other person are in a better place to talk.

Communication is something we do every day. If we don’t work at it and improve the way we communicate all of our relationships will suffer. If this is an area of struggle find someone to coach you, it will be well worth the effort.

Chad Stutzman

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