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Your Most Valuable Asset

Last week in a meeting on leadership development, one of the guys in our group made this statement – “Your attention is your most valuable asset, whatever has your attention is where your resources will flow.” I wrote that down right away.

Reflect on that for a moment.

What has your attention these days? Where are your resources flowing? Your resources are things like your time, money, energy, thinking, listening, wisdom, influence.

When your attention is on the wrong things, its very easy to get on the wrong path in life. Very quickly you can find yourself very far from where you want to be. Whether you are running a business, leading a department, leading your family, serving in a ministry, serving on a board, or just leading yourself – attention matters.

Most children crave their parents attention. They will act out, cry and beg for your attention. I once saw a young girl grab her daddy’s face and told him to look at me. She wanted his undivided attention. One of the best gifts you can give to the people around you is your attention. When you are talking to someone and you give them your full attention it sends a message that you care.

Maybe you simply need to give people more of your attention. Maybe your attention has been on the wrong things in your life. Maybe you need to pay more attention to the important relationships in your life. Maybe you need to pay more attention to God.

Your attention is your greatest asset, use it wisely.

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Making a Statement

I’ve been reading the story of the death of Lazarus in the book of John chapter 11. It really is an amazing story. Lazarus was a close friend of Jesus. He spent a good bit of time with him, enough that the message Jesus got said “Lord, the one you love is sick”. If you got that message today, who would you think of? That tells me that Jesus was very close to Lazarus.

When Jesus gets this message he makes a statement that this sickness will not end in death, but will glorify God. The weird thing is this, Jesus did not go to visit him. He stayed where he was for two more days. Can you imagine hearing that someone you love is sick and you ignore them for two full days? Of course his followers were glad they were not going, because the last time they were there, the people tried to kill Jesus. They thought Jesus was not going, so that he would not be attacked and killed.

Then out of the blue Jesus says, OK lets go back and see Lazarus. His followers here all confused and frightened and tried to convince him to not go. Jesus said his friend has fallen asleep and he is going to wake him up. They told Jesus that is is good if Lazarus sleeps, so he can get better.

Then Jesus says it, the most offensive, insensitive thing imaginable – “Lazarus is dead, and for your sake I am glad I was not there” What? Glad he was not there to heal his close friend, glad he was not there to comfort the family?

He finishes the sentence “so that you may believe”. Jesus knew that he was going to raise Lazarus from the dead, he was doing it to show his great power and to reach many Jews that did not believe. You see, Jesus is always more interested in you putting your faith and trust in him than your comfort, your health or your circumstances. He is always using bad things to bring about opportunities for people to believe in Him. He can use sickness, death, relationship problems, divorce, abuse and many other bad things to draw people closer to Him.

So Jesus finally goes and Lazarus has been dead for four days. He didn’t even go to the funeral. Again, he was setting this up to make a big impression on all the people that had come to mourn the loss of this popular man. He knew that many would be there to mourn and to see if Jesus would show up.

Jesus has a conversation with Martha Lazarus’ sister. She told Jesus that she knows that God will grant him whatever he asks. Jesus then says that her brother will rise again. Martha thinks Jesus is talking about the resurrection on the last day, but Jesus says this “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?” That question is for us today as well. He is talking about our spirit living forever, even after our physical death.

She says Yes Lord. So Jesus goes and talks to Mary the other sister and again sees her pain as she weeps. This is where Jesus wept, even though he knew he was about to raise Lazarus from the dead. He felt their pain and had compassion on them. Some of the people watching this commented that why did Jesus not heal Lazarus, he healed many others and even caused the blind to see. Why not heal his close friend. Jesus knew there were skeptics in the crowd and so he moved ahead and asked Lazarus to come out of the tomb.

When Lazarus came out many believed and put their faith in Jesus. Then Jesus said “Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?”

I believe that our spirit will live forever somewhere, either in the presence of God or separated from him forever. Jesus told us the only way to make that happen is by believing in Him. Very simple, easy and available to anyone. It does not matter where you grew up, what your background is, what your ethnicity is or what you have done in the past.

Jesus made a powerful statement in this story, He said that He is the key that each of us can have to experience the glory of God forever. The key is free and anyone can have it.

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Whispers

I read this Cherokee Proverb that I really like. “Listen to the whispers and you won’t have to hear the screams.”

If you are attentive to the small issues, you can avoid a lot of big issues. Listening can keep problems from escalating. When you hear the the whispers of those around you it helps you connect with them; understand them; serve them; lead them and love them.

Many of the problems you face at work, at home and anywhere else is a result of not listening. When you are focused on your own needs, your own problems and your own best interests, you tend to not listen to those around you. That usually leads to mistakes and bad decisions. It also puts up a wall to those around you.

If you will take the step today to be a better listener, all of your relationships will improve. People will want to spend time with you, because when you listen, you communicate that you care.

To be a great listener, you need to be humble and be willing to slow down enough to hear those whispers. Whose whispers are you missing? Are you getting only screams? Start by listening for those whispers, those small things that you can act on and respond to that will communicate that you care.

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Running into the Wind

On Sunday I went on a run in the afternoon. It was nice out, but very windy. The first half of my run was into the wind. It was hard going, I couldn’t hear the music from my iPod and I felt like I was working twice as hard. As I was running I felt like God wanted me to turn off the music. As I continued it hit me that running into the wind is hard and it is difficult to hear anything, even when I turned off the music.

That is a lot like our lives isn’t it? We are running into the wind, working extra hard and not making good progress. The wind can be the struggles of life, sin, bad habits, past hurts, bad relationships and nasty people. When we are running into the wind it is hard to hear from God, because the wind is so loud in our ears.

God tells us to simply turn around and run with the wind. He calls it to repent or turn around. When the wind is at your back you can run much faster and smoother. You can also hear much better and be more aware of your surroundings.

So if you feel like you are constantly running into the wind, maybe you need to turn around and go the other way. Maybe you need to stop doing some of the things you are doing. Maybe you need to do some things differently. Maybe you need to get some help. Maybe you need to simplify your life.

The other lesson I learned on that run was that when your running in the heat of the day, the shade is very comforting. When you are in a lot of heat God brings us small amounts and times of shade to keep us going. Sometimes we need to seek out the shade and slow down to rejuvenate. Maybe you need to go find some shade and rest for a bit. Maybe you need to look for those brief times of shade during the day, those times you can spend with God. When we plug into Him, He gives us strength to finish the race.

Do you have a headwind or a tailwind in your life? Do you have enough shade? Is the wind so loud you never hear God’s voice? Do you need to turn the music off?

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Mentoring Men

Today I met with a group of guys from my church. We went to one of the guys homes, actually a farm that is fairly secluded. All of these guys have a heart to help other men. They are mentors, real men that love the Lord and other people. As we went around and introduced ourselves each guy shared how someone had made a difference in their lives, that helped them become the man they are today.

As I was preparing for this meeting today, I started to write down some of the men that have influenced me or mentored me over the years. I easily filled a page, and could go on. I had to think how blessed I have been to have so many people be a part of my life. These men took the time to get to know me and encourage me or sometimes even push me. Most of the time it took me being open to this idea and letting others into my world. When I did that I was able to make some positive changes in my life. These men have helped me become a better man, husband, employee, leader, follower and mentor.

God’s purpose for every Christian is that he or she develop into Christ likeness or godliness (Romans 8:29). But how does that happen? 1 Timothy addresses this idea “Discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness.” So how do we discipline ourselves? For most of us that is very hard on our own. That is where mentoring comes in. Having someone come alongside us to encourage us in discipline and also to hold us accountable.

Tom Landry, the coach of the Dallas Cowboys for nearly 30 years, said “The job of a football coach is to make men do what they don’t want to do in order to achieve what they have always wanted to be.” It is the same way in our Christian walk, we need other people to help us do some of the things we don’t want to do in order to become who we want to be.

I have mentored numerous men and have seen great changes in some and very little in others. What I have had to remember is that I am not the one doing the work, but the Holy Spirit. I am simply making myself available to be used as an instrument in another persons life. I am planting some seeds of truth that are helping God shape this person.

I really believe that a lot of guys are searching for what it means to be a man. For a safe place where they know someone understands them and they are not alone. Men need a compelling vision of a biblical masculinity that they can grasp. Men want to know what God intends for them. We need practical how to’s and time to process how to put that into action in our lives. Men need other men that are cheering them on and encouraging them to stay the course.

Guys need to have defining moments when they know they have become a biblical man, when they know they have purpose and meaning in their lives.

I am passionate about helping other men grow, and then mentor and help other men themselves. As we shared story after story today about how God has worked in our relationships I was very encouraged that we are making a difference every day. We will never know the full extent of our influence until we are in heaven. Can you imagine what could happen if hundreds of guys would band together to mentor and encourage other men?

Of course all of this also applies to women mentoring other women.

Who are you mentoring? Who is mentoring you? If you said no one to those questions, something needs to change.

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7 Leadership Perspectives

I am passionate about leadership, it’s part of my personal mission statement – “Growing in Faith, Character and Leadership.”

There are many different types of leaders. I don’t believe that there is a certain type of leader that is more effective than another. Many things go into your makeup as a leader. Your personality, your education, your experiences, your culture, your family, your mentors, your worldview, your passions, your gifts, your talents, your hurts and so on.

Here are some different perspectives on leadership, which one best describes how you lead?

  • Visionary – is committed to growth, looks beyond problems to causes, and develops precise solutions for success
  • Teacher – imparts wisdom, maturity, and skill to others; validates direction; and ensures completeness
  • Server – sees and meets others’ practical needs, frees them to accomplish their goals, and invests time and energy in their success
  • Organizer – visualizes final results and directs resources for the successful completion of goals
  • Mediator – is deeply loyal and compassionate, analyzing the benefits and problems of a given direction
  • Idealist – should have impeachable integrity, be open to correction, be willing to identify problems as they arise, and speak the truth boldly
  • Provider – is resourceful, prudent, and thrifty, constantly ensuring the best use of all available resources.

You might see yourself in several of those descriptions, most people are a blend depending on your current situation. However, there tends to be one that you are most like on a consistent basis. Think about your team, what leadership perspective does each person bring to your team. If you all are the same, you are in trouble. Every successful team needs different leadership perspectives to able to become great.

You can even think about this in your relationships and marriage. What is the leadership perspective of your spouse , your friends, your children?

Lean On!

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Mentoring

I believe in mentoring. I have had key people throughout my life that have been mentors for me and have helped me to grow and become who I am today. I have also been a mentor to others and tried to help them on their journey as well. As I look back over the people that have influenced my character, work ethic and faith, I must say that I was impacted more dramatically by a few important people, than anything else. Some of my mentors have been through reading books or listening to talks, but the most impactful have been the ones I met with face to face.

I work at NewPointe Community Church and we have been implementing a mentoring ministry over the last several years. A definition of a mentor is a trusted counselor or guide, a teacher or coach. Another great definition would be: Mentoring is the process of opening our lives to others, of sharing our lives with others; a process of living for the next generation.

Mentoring is a relationship in which a mentor helps a protege reach her/his God-given potential.

At NewPointe we have Pre-marital Mentors that help engaged couples prepare for marriage. We have Marriage Mentors that mentor couples that are struggling in their marriage. We have men and women mentors that mentor one-on-one other men and women. In each of these relationships the focus is helping the mentee take their next step spiritually, relationally or emotionally.

Mentoring allows a couple or an individual to give time to another couple or individual. Time to listen to them, encourage them, share wisdom with them and help them view their situation in a new light. Our mentors help prepare people for the next step in their lives. They help to repair and reconcile damaged relationships and help to maximize or deepen and enrich current relationships.

When you take the approach of one couple at a time and one individual at a time you can make a bigger difference, because you are up close and personal. This ministry allows mentors to speak truth into the lives of their mentees. God has been bringing couples and individuals with the gift of mentoring to our mentoring team. Couples that have been through hard times and were able to reconcile make great mentor couples. Individuals that have been through hardships like addictions, divorce, grief, job loss, bankruptcy and other difficult experiences make great mentors as well. We try to match up mentors with people that are going through similar experiences as they did.

If you have experienced depression, you can relate to someone that is struggling with depression. If you and your spouse went through a separation or an affair and were able to reconcile, you can use that bad experience to help a couple that is going through it right now.

I hope you get the idea. God never wastes a hurt, He uses it to minister to and mentor other people if you are willing to make yourself available.

I believe that Marriage mentoring is a key to reducing the divorce rate, because it prepares people for marriage and it helps couples reconnect and reconcile. At NewPointe mentoring is required for anyone to get married by one of our pastors. We also require people asking for financial assistance to meet with a mentor. This ministry is already making a difference in peoples lives, helping them, preparing them, enriching them and encouraging them.

I hope you will consider finding a mentor and being a mentor.

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Irrational Beliefs

Do you have any irrational beliefs? Did you know that irrational beliefs, cause us to make irrational decisions, which lead to bad consequences and often much pain. When we come to the choices of life, our beliefs really direct what choice we make. If your beliefs are off or irrational, you will go with what you believe, which often leads to bondage.

If you believe you are worthless, unworthy, dumb or ugly, your decisions will line up with that belief. Many of these irrational beliefs have been planted in us from an early age. As we grow up these lies have been ingrained into us to the point that we really believe them. Things about ourselves, the world, relationships, money, sex, and even God.

Rational emotional behavior is vital to a healthy person. When you are faced with an event that is causing you to make a decision, your beliefs guide that decision. Consequences follow that decision. An emotionally healthy person will dispute irrational beliefs, with truth, which leads to effective beliefs that lead to better decisions.

We need to dispute our irrational negative thinking, by seeking truth. We need to doubt the doubts that we often have. We need to take thoughts captive and let truth set us free from irrational beliefs and behavior. The only way to do that is to fill our mind with truth. The Bible is filled with truth, about how to live life. Truth about money, sex, work, relationships, marriage, serving, loving, giving.

We have been looking at lies that Satan wants us to believe over the past several weeks at NewPointe. Things like, God can’t be trusted, I can’t change who I am, Sure it’s sin, but I can get away with it. Or this one – God can’t use me.

God uses imperfect people, messed up people. Doubt the irrational beliefs that come into your mind. Those thoughts and beliefs are not from God. Start seeking truth with all your heart today.

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Masks

I read this quote from William Shakespeare today and it got me thinking – “God hath given you one face, and you make yourselves another.”

In ancient Greece they loved the theater, they wore giant masks to portray good or evil. It was always a caricature to emphasize the character. They would sometimes switch masks during performances to let you know they had changed. These performers were not known as actors. They called them hypocrites, which literally means “one who wears a mask”.

Today we too wear masks, we are all performers because we don’t often show our real faces. Here are some of the masks we wear:

  • The “happy” mask
  • The “I’m better than most” mask
  • The “I’m very together” mask
  • The “I’m a victim of others” mask
  • The “I don’t care” mask
  • The “I’m self-sufficient” mask
  • The “I’m very important” mask
  • The “I’m competent enough to not need love” mask
  • The “I’m the expert” mask
  • The “I’m not hurt” mask
  • The “I have the answers” mask
  • The “I am independent” mask
  • The “I am cool” mask

Those came from a book called “True Faced” by Bill Thrall, Bruce McNicol, and John Lynch. Here are some I thought of:

  • The “I don’t have an addiction” mask
  • The “My marriage is doing great” mask
  • The “My children are doing great” mask
  • The “I don’t have an anger problem” mask
  • The “I don’t need accountability” mask
  • The “I don’t need to be in a small group” mask
  • The “I don’t need a church home” mask
  • The “I don’t want to get involved” mask
  • The “My finances are fine” mask
  • The “I’m a Christian” mask

The reason most of us wear these masks, is we have a fear of people really knowing who we are. We are afraid they won’t accept us or will think we are unworthy. These fears keep us behind our mask, trying to convince ourselves we are not being a hypocrite.

Here is a pattern that I see often in people I talk to. There is some issue or hurt that causes pain in their hearts. They feel alone, hurt, desperate, filled with anguish and many other emotions. Others around them are not struggling as much and so they feel alienated and alone. They push the pain down deep inside their heart and hope it will eventually go away. Unfortunately it keeps popping its head up again and again. Slowly they lose hope that they can change or be “fixed”. They decide that they must live with this pain and therefore they start wearing masks to cover up their dysfunction.

I think that Christians wear more masks than those still seeking Christ. We think we have to have it all together and are afraid we will be discovered. We can be like Jekyll and Hyde. Acting one way in public and another in private. That kind of behavior has turned a lot of people off to Christianity.

To overcome this problem of mask-wearing, it starts with Trusting God. Trusting that He is who He says He is. That He will do what He said He would do. Understanding the grace that He has given us, that we are forgiven and made white as snow.

The more intimate we get with God the more He can heal those hurts, help us overcome those hangups and habits that are unhealthy. Only Jesus can heal you. To smash those masks, you need to get real with some people. You have to let some people into your world, admit you have struggles and issues. Community and accountability are required for the masks to come down. That is the beginning of being the real you and not a mask wearing hypocrite.

So make the effort to first of all admit what masks you wear and determine to be true to who you are. It means taking a risk and letting down your guard, but the freedom on the other side of that is amazing. Smash your masks today. Be real.

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Captured

We live beside a woods and because of that we have lots of critters that come and hang out at our house. The problem is we have outside cats and the critters eat their food. We suspected we had some bandits coming at night, so we set our live trap. The last three nights we have caught a raccoon. This morning we caught a bigger one. I think it is one big family, hopefully we can help all of them relocate.

No animals were harmed physically, there may be some emotional trauma, but nothing they can’t overcome with some good counseling.