Chad Stutzman – Page 46 – Character Faith Generosity and Leadership

September 7, 2008

First Time Ever

On Friday night my wife Vikki and I went to a High School football game for the first time ever. We had been to a Junior High game, but never a High School game. I know some of you are shocked and amazed at that. But I grew up in Holmes County and went to Hiland High School with no football. I played soccer and basketball.

I love sports and always have. I love to play sports and watch sports. I am a huge fan, but I really love to play. I can even get a little competitive, because I hate to lose. I am a little better than I used to be. Come out sometime on a Tuesday or Thursday at 12:00 pm for some friendly basketball.

But getting back to the football game. We went to the Garaway – Tusky Valley game this past Friday at Garaway. A few things I noticed were lots of penalties, lots of dropped passes and a bunch of excited people in the stands. I found the atmosphere to be similar to what I experienced at Hiland for basketball games, only we were outside in the rain. It really was a social time for friends to sit in the stands, catch up on life and talk and then enjoy a game. Some people took the opportunity to blow off steam at the referees and others never really watched the game. Some people were really into it and others were just there to be seen. Garaway won big by the way.

I guess church can be like that as well. Some people just want to be seen at church, because it makes them look good. Others go to socialize and catch up with friends. Some go to yell at the ref’s (Staff). Some are really into it and can call a play by play. Some really understand the game and can contribute to the success of the team, they are on the field playing.

But church is more than an event on Sunday, just like football is more than a game on Friday. To do it well players and coaches must practice during the week. They need to study the playbook on their own and study film. They need to go and scout the competition and know what they are going to try to do against them. As Christ followers we need to be into the game. We need to read our play book and study film and sharpen our skills. We are in a game called eternity and it matters more than anything else.

I love being part of a church that gets after it all week long. The number of people it takes every week to make things happen is amazing. It is so great to see people playing their position and being in their sweet spot. Every person that attends a church needs to eventually decide whether they will sit and watch or get in the game and play. I choose to play, how about you?

September 5, 2008

Wildlife

Here are some pictures of the wildlife at my house. The two cats are my boys, Winnie and Shadow. Winnie has the white on his neck.

The little tree frog has been hanging out by our back door. This morning I found him on the window sill with a preying mantis. Isn’t it amazing how detailed and creative God was in His creation?

My wife Vikki brought these caterpillar’s in to watch them transform into Monarch butterfly’s, pretty cool.

It was amazing to see how they formed their cocoon’s and began changing into a butterfly. I don’t understand all that, but it reminds me of how all of us need to keep changing. Someday we will have a new body as well. Part of the journey for them is a struggle, but it is that struggle of getting out of the cocoon that strengthens them and helps them to fly.

Part of our journey can be a struggle, but those struggles help us to get stronger, build our character and deepen our faith. The Bible is full of Scripture about our problems teaching and growing us. It all depends on your perspective.

September 1, 2008

Add to your Faith

This morning I was reading 2 Peter and came across this passage in chapter one. I just used this passage in a lesson I taught to some small group leaders. It is 2 Peter 1:5-9 “For this reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; ands to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.”

This is saying that our faith must be more than simply believing in certain facts; it must result in some action on our part. It says to make every effort, which means we need to work at it. These things don’t just come naturally and easily. However, if we work at it and grow, these character traits will keep us from being ineffective and unproductive. If all we do is sit and learn about Jesus, we will be ineffective and not very useful to God in reaching the world with His Good News.

Our faith in Jesus is what saves us and gives us eternal life. Our faith is also what begins to change us and transform us into a person with these character traits. If there is no change in our actions, then do we really understand saving faith?

So are you making EVERY EFFORT to grow in your faith through action? Would people say that you have goodness in your character? How about your knowledge of the Bible? Would those close to you say you have self-control? Do you exhibit perseverance in times of difficulty or do you give up easily? Are your actions and interactions with people like Jesus (godliness)? Are you kind even to those that are unkind? How is your love for other people?

These are some tough questions that Peter raises and that all Christ followers need to ask. When we display these qualities in our everyday relationships it shines a bright light to a dark world. It opens up endless possibilities for God to use us as an instrument in reaching and helping people.

After reading that this morning, I am really challenged to make some changes in how I live out my faith. God is more concerned about our character than our circumstances. He wants men and women that are growing, that are humble, teachable and willing to constantly be changing. I admit that I have some character flaws that need improvement. My desire is to grow in my relationship with Jesus Christ. I want to be that instrument that He uses on a regular basis.

August 29, 2008

Success

I was going through some of my files today and came across this quote I wrote down a while ago. It talks about true success. I don’t know where I found it, so I can’t give credit.

Success is:
Knowing a truth and accepting it.
Finding a need and filling it.
Facing a challenge and meeting it.
Losing a life and finding it.
Having a plan and following it.
Developing a talent and sharing it.
Going to heaven and knowing it.

August 25, 2008

Life comes at you fast

I had a conversation this weekend with a guy that has had a heart attack, cancer and other medical conditions. He has had many challenges and has fought through them all. God still has a plan for his life.

One thing he shared with me is that a friend of his had moved to Australia and lived there for several years. When she came back she noticed right away that life here in Tuscarawas County is much different than in Australia. She made the comment that they know how to live life and enjoy it down under. She could see that we are way to busy working and running around to stop and enjoy life. She had a different perspective, because of the different culture.

When was the last time you just stopped and enjoyed the world around you? When was the last time you took off work early to spend time with your wife or kids? When was the last time you went on a walk in the woods? When was the last time you slept in? When was the last time you took a real vacation? When was the last time you ate together as a family?

I could go on with that, but I won’t. I also had many conversations with people lately that are feeling overwhelmed and worn out. They are working long hours and running their kids all over the place. They are not getting enough sleep and not eating right. Why do we make our lives so busy? Why do we miss the important stuff? Why do we live beyond our means? Why do we work so hard?

We all would answer these questions differently, because we are all in different circumstances. But why does it so often take an illness or an accident to slow us down? My friend told me that it took these physical things to slow him down. Why can’t we just slow down and enjoy life every once in a while?

My challenge to you today or tomorrow is to relax, enjoy life, look around you and appreciate the good things in your life. Make a list of everything you are thankful for and then go on a walk. Ask God to help you slow down, so you don’t miss something He has for you. Slow down to spend more time with your Heavenly Father and to listen to what He has for you. I believe we have divine moments every day that we miss, because we are stressed out, busy or preoccupied. By slowing down we can speed up our spiritual growth.

August 22, 2008

Ownership

I met with a friend for breakfast this week and we talked a lot about work and business. I love hearing about what is happening in different work places and how people are leading in the business world.

As we talked, the topic came up of employees not thinking like the owner thinks. Their views and opinions are different from the person that writes the checks and pays the bills. At times it can be frustrating for the owner, because he is trying to run a business and make a profit and the employee is more concerned about his paycheck and how many hours he has to work.

The employee does not typically make decisions based on what is best for the company. They usually don’t see the bigger picture, especially when difficult decisions need to be made. Many employees think about what is in it for me. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but those employees are not usually on the same page as the owner. That makes it more difficult to get things done in a way that leads to growth and profitability.

As I thought about this, I started to relate this ownership thinking idea to the church and God. Many people do not think like owners when it comes to church. The mentality is what is in it for me, how can the church help me? Is the church meeting my needs and making me comfortable. That may be OK for someone that is seeking God, hurting or needing recovery of some sorts. However, after awhile that should begin to change. The thinking needs to switch to that of an owner. Seeing the bigger picture of why the church exists, and that is to help all people grow in their relationship with Jesus Christ, no matter where they are at on that journey.

That means sacrificing some of my own wants for the betterment of the church. Embracing changes that will help to reach more people and help people get connected. An owner thinks how can we be more efficient, more effective, and do things with excellence. An owner is willing to make hard choices, because it will further the vision of the church or business.

I have to ask myself, am I thinking like an owner or an employee or member? My friend said that employees that think like owners are rare and very valuable. They make better decisions, give better service, make more sacrifices and are more loyal than those who do not.

The Bible talks about our thoughts not being Gods thoughts. Most people don’t think the way God thinks. This is reflected in how we pray, how we spend our money, how we treat our spouse, kids and co-workers. As we begin to think like Jesus, we begin to change our behaviors, see people in a different way, we see the world in a different way. With this different perspective God can use us in a broader way. When we think like He thinks we begin to do what He would do.

Do you think like an owner in your workplace? In your Church? In your conversations with God?

August 18, 2008

Peace and War

I love meeting with people and talking about life, relationships, leadership and spiritual stuff. When I meet with people I always have a goal. I either am trying to learn and grow myself, by asking questions and picking up nuggets that can help me become a better person, or I am meeting with someone to help them grow and stretch. I do like to just hang out sometimes, just to be with friends and have fun.

Recently I met with a friend that has really challenged me to read more. He is so passionate about reading and growing as a leader, that it has helped me to get back on track in my own reading plan. He gave me two books to check out. I have started both of them, but the one has been profound for me. I am about half way through this book and it has really spoken to me about relationships and why we do what we do.

Part of my job is to help people in their relationships. Sometimes that is counseling married couples or engaged couples. Sometimes it is listening to friends that are going through tough times. Sometimes it is a divorced person struggling with being single. Other times it is family relationships that are splintered. I deal with and interact with many broken, hurting relationships.

This book hit on a part of relationships that I have observed to be very true. The book is called “The Anatomy of Peace – Resolving the heart of conflict” by the Arbinger Institute. I won’t get into a lot of detail on this book, but I want to share the general concept that I have learned from reading this so far.

The book tells a story about families that have come to an agency for help with their unruly, difficult children. The two leader’s of this agency are very different, yet very much alike. One is Jewish and one is Muslim (that is interesting in itself). The first part of the book deals mostly with the parents and not the teenagers. The parents sit around in a circle and talk. The two leaders dig in and challenge their way of thinking.

What comes out of this time together is a profound truth; the most important factor in helping your relationships go right is the state of your heart. If you have a broken or struggling relationship with a child, parent, spouse, co-worker, neighbor, boss or employee, you need to ask yourself this question; is my heart at peace or at war with this person? That’s right, in the deepest part of your heart, what do you believe about that person and how do you view them? Do you see them as inferior, weak, egotistic, selfish, ugly, rebellious?

From my years of listening to troubled relationships, I must say that most of the time their hearts were at war. When your heart is at war you tend to see the other person as an object or an obstacle to your goal. You don’t see yourself on the same team, but opposite sidelines. When your heart is at peace you tend to see the other person as a person, a soul that matters just as much as you do. A person with feelings, emotions and a heart.

The greatest example I can think of is Jesus. He had a heart of peace toward everyone. He saw every person as a person that mattered. He saw people that were lost and without a shepherd. His heart longed for them and that helped him to minister to people that no one else cared about. He noticed the sick, the outcasts, the slaves and the children. Even the very people that killed him, he was at peace in his heart with them.

You see, your behaviors come from your heart. Your behavior toward a person comes from the beliefs you hold about them. This could be very subtle attitudes that they pick up on. A heart at war will bring out words and actions that hurt and destroy. A heart at peace will bring out words and actions that encourage and lift up.

So ask yourself how your heart is toward that person that has come to your mind as you read this. Is your heart at war? Are you on opposite sides lobbing hand grenades at each other? Or is your heart at peace, and even though you may have been hurt, you still see them as a person? When you see people as objects that are inferior to you, that is an act of war. It leads to battles, not dialog. It leads to wounds not healing.

If you want your marriage to change, then you need to change your heart. If you want your relationship with your children to change then you need to change your heart attitude toward them. If you want to change your workplace, then you need to change your heart toward the people you work with.

How’s your heart these days?

August 16, 2008

More pictures from Go 08

Here are several projects that happened in the Uhrichsville area on Sunday August 3rd:

This is the project in Sugarcreek, staining a pavilion for the Village.

This is a project in the Baltic area. Cleaning up the property and working on the house.

August 9, 2008

Lots of Weddings

Today my wife and I got to enjoy a great day with friends at Dave Mast and Jessica Rilke’s wedding. I work with both of them and am so happy for them. It was a beautiful day for an outdoor wedding. We ate hot dogs and hamburgers and Danny even caught a fish at the pond. Arden & Sue Kaufman hosted this great wedding at their home near Berlin. We got to enjoy this one as guests as Kevin West officiated. He did a great job, short and meaningful with a little humor.

This has been a busy year for weddings at NewPointe Community Church(12 so far this year). I have the fun job of officiating at most of these weddings. In July I had 5 weddings, busy but fun. My wife is becoming an expert on weddings. She loves to go with me and help as needed. The fun part is meeting all the families and seeing how different everyone is. Some are very laid back and calm and others are a bit more stressed and excitable. I love to meet with them and of course we get to eat at the rehearsal dinners and the receptions. The opportunity to talk about spiritual things at a wedding is big. People are usually in a good mood and are open to hearing truth.

Doing all these weddings has made me even more aware of how important it is to work at our relationships. Good marriages don’t just happen. All these couples that got married this year are expecting their marriages to last a lifetime and to be happy ever after. I believe most of them will do well, because they put the work in on the front end. All the couples we marry at Newpointe must go through a mentoring process. They take an online inventory and then meet with a mentor couple 6 to 8 times to go over the results and to work through exercises. They get to know the mentors and build a relationship with them. It is almost like buying marriage insurance, because the statistics show that couples that go through a mentoring program before marriage have a much lower divorce rate.I believe it is less than 10 percent.

The work of talking through issues they disagree on is very valuable. If they can talk and resolve some of these issues before the wedding date they will have fewer problems early in the marriage.

When you are in love you sometimes overlook some glaring differences. Each person brings expectations to the marriage that can be unrealistic. Talking about things like, family, parenting, careers, sex, money and friends are very important. It helps to identify expectations and helps each of them understand their differences. There are also fewer surprises when you work through things before you get married.

Getting married is one of the biggest decisions you will make in your life. I will never understand why someone would not want to put in some hard work before to “learn” how to do it right. You don’t jump into a car and just start driving without first getting some instruction and guidance. You don’t start a job without going through an orientation and training. Why would you not want to get some training before starting a lifelong relationship?

When I meet with these couples looking to get married, I stress the importance of continual learning. I tell them to read books together and go to seminars and conferences together. I encourage them to grow spiritually together as well.

It is never too late to start working on it. I counsel many couples that are having difficulties, and a lot of time it is because of not knowing each other and how to communicate love to each other. Unresolved conflict, inner fears and bad communication can keep us from healthy marriages. It is so easy to just live together and not grow in intimacy and not work on ourselves or our relationship. Life gets in the way of our intimacy and keeps us from having great marriages. You must be intentional to avoid the trap of a mediocre marriage.

I am still working on my marriage after 19 years together. I currently am reading a book about sexual intimacy in Marriage. Wow, I wish I would of had this book when I first got married. More on that later.

August 7, 2008