We all have people in our lives that are hard to get along with. It may be someone you work with, live beside or even live with. While we cannot change the other person or force them to treat you differently, you can change the way that you respond to them. You see, many times it’s the way we respond to bad behavior that drives even more bad behavior. This is hard to do because we all have emotions and sometimes those emotions can take over and take us down a path that causes more damage.
When we work on ourselves, we can change our attitude, our words and our non-verbal communication. Here is a simple communication rule that may help you make progress in those difficult relationships:
People who are hard to get along with allow their anger, frustration, insecurity and disappointment to drown out most everything good around them. The good news is that they don’t act that way all the time, even though it may seem that way. Eventually they’ll leave the safety of their negative emotions-even it’s only for a moment. They’ll do or say something nice, show concern, or offer to help with something. It is in those moments that you need to recognize their best. Let them know the good you see in them. Show them how much you care and how much they mean to you. When you look for and focus on the good in people, you help them to see what is possible in their lives. You give energy to what is right about them. Your love and attention creates an environment where they can choose to change and respond differently themselves.
It’s in those critical moments when they do something right that we can choose to be positive and re-enforce good behavior or be negative ourselves and destroy any glimmer of hope. Every person has some good in them, even though it may be buried deep inside them.