Chad Stutzman

In Luke Chapter 12 Jesus is found with a huge crowd of people gathered around him.  Jesus took advantage of this by providing good instruction for His disciples on issues such as integrity, anxiety, convictions, problem solving, greed, jealousy, priorities and trusting God.  He talked about these type of topics because Jesus knew that the people in the crowd needed to understand how to deal with these topics in order to live successful lives.  Here is a summary of the things Jesus shared that can help us live life successfully:

• Decisions – The degree of success we experience in life is based on the quality of our decisions.  Jesus talked about knowing the truth and being able to recognize lies that can lead us to making bad decisions.  We not only need to know the truth, but we need to accept it and apply it to our lives.  The only way to do that is by growing in our relationship with Christ.  We do that through reading the Bible, listening to Bible based messages and reading books based on Biblical principles.  We also need to seek wise counsel from people that understand the Bible.
• Servant Mindset – This is a heart issue and a humility issue.  When we have a desire to serve the people around us our level of happiness and success go up.  If we slip into our selfishness it tends to bring on negative emotions and a downward spiral.  Jesus calls us to find a need and fill it.
• Determination – Our lives are filled with challenges, difficulties and hardships.  Jesus tells us face the challenges that come our way, knowing that God is with us and for us.  When we understand our purpose and meaning in life it helps us to be more determined and focused when challenges come our way.  Being determined doesn’t mean we never give up, sometimes we need to know when to quit something, it means we do what we can to accomplish the task at hand or resolve the situation we find ourselves in.
• Sacrifice – Jesus was a great example of sacrifice.  He was so passionate about what He was called to do that He was willing to sacrifice His life for it.  When we are willing to sacrifice for something it usually means delaying gratification until something is accomplished.  Understanding that we must give some things up in order to go up or to be successful.  Are we willing to sacrifice living beyond our means in order to save and give more, or do we spend whatever we get?
• Preparation – Jesus talks about being a faithful servant.  Part of being a faithful servant is to be prepared by developing a plan of action.  We must also be willing to be flexible if things change.  We prepare by continually working on ourselves to develop our character, our faith and our leadership.  Usually the things that we are going through right now are preparing us for what is to come.
• Action – If we know the truth but never act on it, the truth is of no value.  Once we know God’s will for our lives we need to obey what He calls us to do even when we don’t fully understand it.  Our success in life goes up when we take action and put into practice what we have learned.  If we only focus on learning, we tend to become proud and judgmental.  When we take action and do the things that God teaches in the Bible we tend to become more humble and graceful.
• Talent – Jesus encourages us to discover our talents and share those with others.  When we are working in our area of strength, everyone benefits.  When we try to do things we are no good at it usually leads to frustration and negative emotions.  God created each one of us uniquely and gave us talents and abilities.  When we tap into those talents we tend to be more successful.
• Persistence – We need to be tenacious and finish well.  When we understand who we are and what our true identity is it helps us to hang in there through the hardships of life.  Jesus was very persistent and durable.  He focused on the mission that he came for and did not get distracted on things that did not contribute to the ultimate goal of seeking and saving the lost.

There are many famous leaders in the Bible such as Moses, David, Peter and Paul.  Yet there are many others that are not as famous that were vital to the work of God happening.  One such leader was Epaphroditus.  Do you know his story?  He played an important yet obscure role in the ministry of Paul and the Philippians.  No books were written about Epaphroditus, he never wrote any books or made any speeches that we are aware of.  What he did do was run from Philippi to Rome to join Paul who was in prison and minister to his needs.  He also carried Paul’s letter to the Philippians back home with him.  This is how Paul describes him in Chapter 2 verses 25-30:

1. A People Lover – Paul calls him a minister.  He had compassion for the people of Philippi and cared about them deeply.  He also cared about Paul and was willing to serve him in whatever way he could.
2. A Risk Taker – Paul calls him a fellow soldier.  He risks his own life and safety in order to serve alongside Paul.  He refused to simply look out for himself and play it safe.
3. A Tireless Worker – Paul calls him a fellow worker.  Paul mentions an illness he suffered from and that it was tied to his hard work.  Even though he was suffering and ill, he continued to serve as best he could.
4. A Servant Leader – Paul calls him a messenger.  Paul encourages the church to welcome him like a hero.  Epaphroditus both led and served as he became a spokesman for the church.

There are many people that work everyday in obscure ways that play a big part in the story God is writing.  Leadership is not about position but influence with what we have been given.  We are all called to love people, take risks for God, work hard and serve others.  If we can do that consistently over time, the impact for God’s Kingdom can be great.  Epaphroditus humbled himself to serve Paul.  Paul in turn recognizes the contribution he made to his ministry.  Our mindset as followers of Christ should be to humble ourselves and serve the people around us.  It may go unnoticed by people, but it will not go unnoticed by God.

Over the past several years my wife and I have changed some of our behaviors as it relates to food and exercise.  We decided that we wanted to lose weight and keep it off in order to feel and look better.  We started slow by getting on a system that taught us how to eat right.  It wasn’t a diet, it was a training system.  We had to relearn how to eat the right portions and the right kinds of food.  We had to start thinking about how many servings of each kind of food we would eat each day.  We also had to think about movement and motivation.  Incorporating exercise into our lives and finding out what would motivate us to do this the rest of our lives.  So we changed our behavior by changing our thinking and we changed our thinking by learning the truth and applying it to our lives.

So what is influencing your thinking right now?  What are you feeding your mind that is influencing how you think and therefore how you behave?  What’s feeding your marriage?  What’s feeding your parenting?  What’s feeding your relationship with God?  What’s feeding your work life?  What’s feeding your finances?  What if the things that are feeding our minds are lies?  If the sources of what we feed our minds is not truth, then our beliefs and behaviors can be destructive to our well being and relationships.  What are you doing now that is hurting your marriage, your leadership at work, your relationship with your kids, your relationship with God?  Often times we do what we have learned from others and many times that is filled with lies and half truths.  If you really want to transform your marriage, your parenting, your leadership, your intimacy with God or your physical health, it starts with a training program.  You need to start to go to the right sources to feed your mind in these areas.

Some of those sources include God’s Word, wise men and women, books from experts on marriage, parenting and relationships that follow Biblical principles.  Whatever you want to transform, you must first transform your thinking by learning the truth and apply it to your life.

Having healthy relationships in our lives is vital, yet many people do not have many close, vibrant relationships.  The way in which we communicate with people often determines how healthy that relationship becomes.  Communication also determines how close we allow people into our lives.  Communicating on an emotional level is difficult, but critical.  Especially in the marriage relationship, listening with the heart paves the way to deeper intimacy.  Here are six ways to work on that and instantly improve your most important relationships.

1. Listen beyond the words to the feelings – People’s emotions tell the real story of what is going on.  If you focus on only what is being said, you may miss a much greater message.  People generally feel more understood, cared for, and connected when the communication focuses on their emotions and feelings rather than merely on their words or thoughts.  The approach should be that we really care about what the other person is feeling about the topic being discussed.  This may mean that we need to ask questions about their feelings instead of the words that were spoken.
2. The real message is often the emotions behind the words – When this is done well, it communicates that we really do care about the other person and are not just trying to win an argument.  When we take each interaction as an opportunity to learn more about the other person it sets us up for success.  This can be a difficult thing to do, especially for guys, so some trial and error will need to take place as this is practiced.
3. Allow others’ emotions to touch you – People feel loved when they know you truly understand their feelings.  They don’t care that we may have a solution for the problem as much as we understand how they feel.  When we actually acknowledge the emotion they are expressing it helps them to feel more understood.
4. Effective communication is a dynamic process of discovery that maintains energy in the relationship – Again if we view communication as a dynamic discovery process instead of a problem solving time it will improve our relationships immensely.  Sometimes just asking if the other person is looking for solutions to the problem or just a time to express frustration can help how that conversations goes.  This kind of communication will bring new energy to the relationship, because it is touching them at a heart level not just a mind level.
5. Effective communication starts with safety – When we listen rather than judge or correct, we create a safe environment for understanding to take place.  One of our primary responsibilities is to create a safe place for the other person to express their heart.  That cannot happen unless the other person trusts that we have their best interest at heart and are truly concerned about them.  In a marriage, there will be an emotional wall if there is not trust and they do not feel safe to share on an emotional level.  That wall is a way of protecting their emotions and will only come down when they feel safe.
6. Communication is understanding, not determining who’s right – All of our relationships will thrive if our priority is understanding the other person instead of fixing the other person.

So start working on your emotional communication skills right now by focusing on the emotions behind the words.  Approach each conversation as an opportunity to learn more about what makes that person tick and what is important to that person.