Category: Spiritual Growth

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Stuck

Have you ever been stuck? I don’t mean stuck in a ditch, I mean stuck in life, stuck in a rut or in an addiction. The definition of stuck is to be brought to a standstill, blocked, baffled, halted, obstructed, a state of difficulty or hesitation.

Everyone gets stuck sometime. Getting stuck shows itself in many different forms: Alcohol, drugs, workaholism, people pleasing, food, disease, suicide, death, molestation, pornography, divorce, relationships, rebellion, anger, guilt, phobias/fear, handicaps and loneliness. Some of these seem much worse than others, but they are all a problem. We can sometimes look at our problems and think, “they’re not so bad. I can handle them on my own.” By not seeking help or facing these problems head on we can allow our problems to control us. They quickly become our focus and get us in a downward spiral.

Today I read the story that Major League baseball player Josh Hamilton shared. He was a very talented player and was drafted number 1 overall in 1999 by the Tampa Devil Rays. Soon after that he got stuck in drugs and alcohol. He was in a downward spiral that nearly took him out. After reading that story it reminded me of many people that I have talked to that are stuck in similar things. Stuck in bondage and not living free like God wants us to be.

A lot of people are stuck, the divorce rate remains very high for both Christians and non-Christians. Drug and food abuse are on the increase. Alcoholism negatively affects one-third of all American families. A recent study on molestation predicts that 28 per cent of girls will have been molested by the time they reach fourteen, and by the time they reach the age of 18 that figure goes up to 38 percent. Most people know about life, but they still don’t know how to live life. They may know about God, but not have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. They may even have a personal relationship with Christ and still be stuck.

So whatever you are stuck in, God wants to help you get unstuck. The first step is admitting you have a problem. You need to step back and realize that you are not God and that you are powerless to control your tendency to do the wrong thing. Next you need to earnestly believe that God exists, that you matter to Him, and that He has the power to help you recover. Then consciously choose to commit all your life and will to Christ’s care and control. After that you need to openly examine and confess your faults to yourself, to God and to someone you trust. Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to make in your life and humbly ask Him to remove your character defects. You also need to evaluate your relationships. Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt you and make amends for harm you’ve done to others except when doing so would harm them or others even more. You also need to reserve a daily time with God for self-examination, Bible reading,and prayer in order to know God and His will for your life and gain power to follow His will. Finally yield yourself to God to be used to bring the Good News to others, both by example and by your words.

These 8 principles of recovery are found in the Beatitudes in Mathew Chapter 5. Celebrate Recovery is a ministry that uses these principles to help people recover form addictions. There is a group currently meeting in Uhrichsville, OH. You may not be addicted to alcohol or drugs, but you may have other things you are stuck in. Start taking these steps to get unstuck and find some people along the way to help you. Sometimes is just takes someone to hold you accountable and ask you some questions to get you unstuck. Someone to coach you and encourage you. Start praying today that God will bring the right person or people at the right time to keep you moving forward. Don’t remain stuck in the same old stuff year after year. Live life the way God intended you to live it, Free.

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Is God Really in Control?

Maybe you have asked that question in the past, or are asking it right now. When bad, horrible things happen around us or too us, we often ask that question. A question I hear some times is why do bad things happen to good people. My standard answer has been that we live in a fallen sinful world. Well that is true, but there is more to it.

I started reading this book by Jerry Bridges called “Is God Really In Control? – Trusting God In A World Of Hurt.

This book has been very helpful in getting a better picture of who God is, and why we should always trust Him. The author does a great job of answering some of the tough questions we have about God and the things that happen in this world.

I thought I would share some of the authors thoughts with you. Here are some of the things that I highlighted in the book:

“In order to trust God, we must always view our adverse circumstances through the eyes of faith, not of sense.”

“God in His love always wills what is best for us. In His wisdom He always knows what is best, and in His sovereignty He has the power to bring it about”

“In order to trust God we must know Him in an intimate personal way.”

“To corral our anxious speculation about God in times of suffering, we must shape our vision of God by the Bible, not by our experiences.”

“All people – believers in God as well as unbelievers – experience anxiety, frustration, heartache and disappointment. Some suffer intense physical pain and catastrophic tragedies. But what should distinguish the suffering of believers from nonbelievers is the confidence that our suffering is under the control of an all-powerful and all-loving God; our suffering has meaning and purpose in God’s eternal plan, and He brings or allows into our lives only what is for His glory and our good.”

“Prayer is the acknowledgement of God’s sovereignty and of our dependence upon Him to act on our behalf. Prudence is the acknowledgement of our responsibility to use legitimate means. We must not separate the two.”

“As we watch tragic events unfold, or more particularly as we experience adversity ourselves, we often are prone to ask God, “Why?” The reason we ask is because we do not see any possible good to us or glory to God that can come from the particular adverse circumstances that have come upon us or our loved ones. But is not the wisdom of God-thus the glory of God- more eminently displayed in bringing good out of calamity that out of blessing?”

“The good that God works for in our lives is conformity to the likeness of His Son. So His good is not necessarily our present comfort or happiness, but rather conformity to Christ in ever increasing measure for eternity.”

“But real change, down in the depth of our souls, is produced as the tenets of Scripture are worked out in real life. This usually involves adversity. We may admire and even desire the character trait of patience, but we will never learn patience until we have been treated unjustly and learned experientially to “suffer long” (the meaning of patience) the one who treats us unjustly. If you stop and think about it, you realize that most godly character traits can only be developed through adversity.”

I have been challenged and encouraged by this small book. The author uses a lot of Scripture to back up his thoughts.

I am only half way through the book and looking forward to the rest. What I have taken away so far is this: God has a much bigger plan than we can comprehend, and we are playing a small part in that big plan. When adversity hits us, it is often a big growth time in our lives and develops godly character. God also uses our adversity to bring others into relationship with Him and transform lives. God really is in control!

Between this book and our current series at NewPointe called “What Lies Beneath” I am really doing some self-examination. I am seeing that I have a lot of work to do in many areas of my life. I am realizing that God loves me so much that he wants me to become more like Jesus in every area of my life. He is cheering me on and encouraging me to grow and mature in my faith, character and leadership.

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Singleness

My last post about loneliness led me to the thought of being single. Many people equate being single to being lonely. Our society is filled with many people that are single. Some have never married, others are divorced, others have lost their spouse. For whatever reason we have a large population of single people. I have noticed that many singles are attracted to the local church. It may be because they are looking for healing of the hurts of divorce or loss. It may be they are searching for community and friendships. It may be to look for a spouse.

I am not single, so I don’t know what a single person is going through. I do however know what the Apostle Paul and Jesus said about being single. Paul said is 1 Corinthians 7: 1, 8, 25-26 “It is good for a man not to marry…Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am…Now about virgins:…I think that it is good for you to remain as you are.”

In these four verses Paul is addressing questions that the Corithian church had about marriage. They were asking if it was good or better to be married. That culture was filled with sexual tempatation, much like our culture today. Whether you are married or single those temptations are just as big. In that type of an environment Paul was saying that is is good to be single and to be content in the situation where God has placed you, wether married or single. He made it clear that both marriage and singleness are gifts from God. One is not morally better than the other, and both are valuable to accomplishing God’s purposes.

Paul talked about the benefits of serving God in a deeper way by being single and being able to give God more of your time. Paul was in fact single himself. People that are married must also meet the needs of their spouse and family, which makes it difficult to serve God or go into mission work.

Jesus also talked about this subject. In Matthew 19:12 he said “For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”

I believe He is implying here that there are some who are so disciplined and motivated that they choose singleness so that they may better give undistracted service to the Lord and other people. Jesus did not make this mandatory, but optional. Not everyone can live such a disciplined life. It is important to note that the church and the world owe much to those who have deliberately chosen this course. Many single men and women have given their lives to serving and reaching the lost. As a result the Good News about Jesus has been spread across the world. I have met some of these folks and am amazed at their heart and passion to reach the lost.

Others have done this for a portion of their lives and were able to be content in that situation and that stage of life. If you find yourself single, that does not mean you must be lonely. God can use your singleness to build His kingdom. You can use your gifts and abilities to serve God and people. You can get involved in a small group and build friendships. You can volunteer and serve in new and exciting ways. You can look to God to meet your needs of acceptance, significance and security. God may be calling you to something bigger, something that can last for eternity.

The end of Romans 12:2 says that “God’s will is good, pleasing and perfect.” Because His will is good and perfect, it should be accepted, adapted to, and embraced. Whatever your situation is, God can use you.

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Loneliness

I meet with, and talk to a lot of people. Some are married, some are single, some divorced, some separated. I have been hearing a similar theme with many of the people I have been talking to lately. Words like frustration, emptiness and loneliness. As I began to think about this and read about loneliness, I soon discovered that this is a widespread problem in our society.

Loneliness comes in many forms and they all can be very painful. The death of a spouse or close family member can leave you feeling lonely. A separation or a divorce or even a broken engagement can create intense feelings of loneliness. An inability to initiate or maintain healthy relationships as a single person can also create deep loneliness. Even a married person can experience deep loneliness, especially if they are have marriage problems.

Our world today also makes it very easy to be independent and alone which can create feelings of loneliness. We can do most things in the privacy of our homes and seldom have close contact with other people.

So what do you do if you are experiencing this thing called loneliness?

Loneliness started way back when Adam & Eve sinned. They had a perfect environment and a perfect relationship with God. They had no loneliness or fear. After they sinned their relationship with God was broken and they began to experience fear and loneliness. This has continued throughout history and is still a big problem today.

I believe there are three things that can help fight against this feeling of emptiness and loneliness. We talk about these three things a lot where I work (Newpointe Community Church).

The first thing is building intimacy with God. Deepening your relationship with God and living a life of worship is the first step needed to combat loneliness. To become intimate with someone you must spend time with them and get to know their heart. The more you do that with God, the more He fills the void or emptiness you are feeling. As you begin to understand how God sees you and how much He loves you, your needs for acceptance, security and significance are met. Often times as we get off track with God, we become more depressed and lonely. We begin to focus on the problems and feelings instead of spending more time with God. It is easy to get distracted in this area of our lives when we are hurting.

The second thing is to get involved in community. We were created for relationships and often that is missing in our lives. We all crave community, close friendships and a place were people know us. It is very easy to isolate ourselves and not take the step or risk of community. My church is made up of many small groups. People that get together on a regular basis and have fun together, talk together, eat together, pray together and study together. Most people don’t have five close friends, they are lucky to have one. To combat loneliness you need to get involved in community.

The third thing is to have influence in your world. What I mean by that is to serve. When you use your God-given abilities and gifts to help other people it fills some of that emptiness as well. By giving something back to your church, community, neighbors or strangers you get so much more in return.

Using your influence also means sharing your story with other people. The things you have experienced and gone through can often times help someone else make it through a similar experience. Those two things; serving/volunteering and sharing your life story are huge in fighting loneliness.

Loneliness would want you to sit at home and think you have nothing to offer the world. To think that you can’t make a difference and things can’t get any better. Those are lies, the truth is you can make a difference and you do have something to offer. Intimacy with God, Involvement in Community and Influence in your world are all important and needed to overcome loneliness and emptiness.

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Just finished Reading

I finished two books this weekend. I had been working on these books for a few months and finally finished them both. One of the books I was using as a book study with a group of guys I meet with every other Tuesday morning for breakfast. The book is called “Simple Church” by Thom Rainer & Eric Geiger. They did a study on churches that are growing and those that are stagnate or declining. This book shares the results of those studies. It is very interesting.

The bottom line is that the churches that keep it simple and made it clear and easy for people to grow spiritually were growing. The churches that offered a lot of programs and minstries were declining. We have had some great discussions about our churches. The guys in my group go to a different church, so it was nice to hear their perspective on this stuff as well. If you are involved at your church I would highly recommend you read this book.

The other book I finished is called “Soul Cravings” by Erwin Raphael McManus. This is an incredible book. It is different in its layout and design, more like a journal than a book. McManus talks about Intimacy, Destiny, Meaning and Seeking God. He addresses some of the tough questions about God and why we exist and how we are wired. I found Soul Cravings to be a refreshing, thought provoking book. If you are seeking to know God and yourself better, this book may help. I plan on giving some of these away.

One of the quotes toward the end of the book says “God has placed cravings within your soul that will drive you insane or drive you to him. Your soul longs for God; you just may not know it yet.”

“We are all searching for truth.
We are all looking for God.
We crave meaning.
We long to trust.
We need to believe in something.
We need to believe in someone.
We need to believe in God.”

McManus is real and relevant in his writing. He is clearly a free thinker and not stuck in being religious. He stresses relationship and intimacy, read it for yourself.

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Change Your Thinking

As some of you know my wife Vikki and I have been on a program called Thin & Healthy through my work to lose weight and get healthy. We have been doing this for around 6 weeks now, and we have seen good results. I have lost over 20 pounds and Vikki has lost over 10 pounds. Our entire staff at NewPointe Community Church has lost over 200 pounds. We have been in a wellness program for over a year now as a staff.

It has been challenging and somewhat difficult, because this is not a diet, but a change in thinking. When I first starting this program I was simply thinking about losing weight. As we have worked the program, I have discovered it is retraining how we think about food and movement (exercise). We meet with a coach twice a week to check our progress and make sure we are staying on track.

The biggest thing for me has been to retrain my thinking about eating all the food groups and in the right proportions. In the past I tended to eat large amounts of only the foods I liked. I also would often skip meals when I was busy. Over the past 6 weeks the coaches have been working on making us aware of what we are eating by keeping a journal of what we eat and how much we exercise.

All of this is very similar to what it takes for us to get fit spiritually. We have to retrain our thinking about spiritual growth and really go into training to change bad habits, or flawed thinking. Sometimes we may need a coach to get us started and help make us aware of our wrong thinking. We should be writing down or journaling our spiritual journey as well, so that we become more aware of what we are actually doing, whether right or wrong.

In my spiritual journey I have often only done the things I liked or read the parts of the Bible I liked. I would often skip praying, reading, meditating, solitude and fasting when I was busy. These and other spiritual disciplines would often get put on the back burner or were forgotten about.

The Apostle Paul said that getting fit physically has some benefit to us but that getting fit spiritually has much more benefit to us. I hope that I can get fit in both areas of my life. To do that it takes changing the way I think, because most of us have a wrong way of thinking about both these areas. Some of these things we know we should do, because it will help us feel better and be more energized. However knowing and doing are too different things. If you want to change your life, then you need to change your thinking. Changing your thinking takes some hard work and often some help along the way.

I want to encourage you to seek out a coach that can help you in both these areas of your life. Someone who knows a little more than you do and can encourage you, challenge you and help change the way you think. That is the only way you can keep the weight off for life and steadily grow spiritually and not revert back to old habits.

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Influence

I met with a friend of mine on Friday afternoon. He wanted to share with me that he was having a conflict in a relationship because of differing beliefs. His friend has a different worldview of who God is and how we can relate to Him. She believes that everyone will eventually make it to heaven and that other religions pray to and worship the same God he does.

My friend was struggling with this and had tried to point her to Jesus and the Bible. He felt like he wasn’t getting anywhere though. I told him to not force it. God does the work of drawing people to Him. I told him to pray for her and give her some resources like a Bible that is easy to read and understand, a series from NewPointe Community Church called “Reality Check” and maybe a book like “A Case for Christ” by Lee Strobel.

The exciting thing to me is that his friend is listening and searching for truth. I believe when someone sincerely want to find truth, God draws them to Jesus, because Jesus is truth. I told my friend that he has influence with her and can be an encouragement or a stumbling block for her.

Sometimes we can come on too strong and try too hard to convince someone we are right. Instead we need to share truth in a loving way. Not judgemental or holier than thou. My friend really cares about this person and that is why he is so concerned about her understanding. If he can be patient and pray diligently for her, God will draw her in and open her eyes to the real truth.

So, who do you have influence with? Who are you praying for and reaching out to? If you don’t have anyone, start asking God to bring a person into your life that you can invest in. Make yourself available to be used by God. He may use you to draw someone closer to Him. Pray for open doors in your life and see what happens.

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A Quiet Friday

Friday’s are usually quiet around NewPointe. There are only a handful of people working. For me it is a good day to catch up and get things done. I only had one appointment today, so I thought I should be able to get some projects finished. I ended up making two more appointments. One with a guy I had been trying to call all week and we finally made contact. He said he wanted to talk, so I told him to come in at noon.

When he got here I soon discovered that he was really seeking God. He had walked away from God in the past, but found himself in a difficult situation. That situation brought right back to God. He had a lot of questions and even wondered if God was punishing him. We talked for a while about how God doesn’t punish us for being bad, He loves us.

I could tell that he was very open to spiritual things, so I asked him if anyone has explained what it means to be saved. He said no, so I used the bridge example to show him that Jesus bridged the gap between us and God. I also took him to some Scriptures that explain how we are all sinners and need to be saved and that the only way to be saved is through Jesus Christ. We read the Scriptures together and then I read Revelation 3:20 “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock, If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.” I asked him if he wanted Jesus to come into his life. He said yes!

We prayed right there in my office. I gave him a Bible and showed him where to start reading. I will be following up with him to see if he has questions and to get him more connected with other believers.

There were many other people investing in his life. His family & some friends had all been encouraging him. They would give him CD’s from NewPointe and invite him to church. All that investing worked!

My other two appointments had to do with relationships. I hope I was able to help point them to God and to refocus their relationship with Jesus and not on all their problems. It is so easy to get distracted and off track. Sometimes people just need to be reminded that God is on their team and He is waiting for them to come to Him.

I feel very humbled that on a quiet Friday at NewPointe I was able to connect some people to God.

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Looking Ahead

I find it very interesting that this time of the year most people are hopeful for a good year. We make resolutions, set goals and dream big. We quickly try to forget about the past year and look to the future. Exercise equipment and gym memberships sell well, as we make an attempt to get into better shape.

I was in Walmart today and was amazed at how much exercise and weight loss stuff they had. I have to admit that I am thinking about how much weight I need to lose (20 pounds would be nice).

So why do we get so excited about the future? Could it be because the future is unknown and that gives us hope? A hope that things could be better. Without hope we have little reason for living. We hope for a better future, whatever that looks like to you. That hope helps us to keep going, to keep trying, to keep pursuing our purpose in life.

As I look ahead to 2008, I hope to grow in my relationship with Jesus Christ. I don’t want to remain the same. I want to keep growing and maturing in my faith. I want to be healthy emotionally, so that my relationships can be better. I want to break through any walls that are holding me back from a deeper relationship with God.

I am very excited about what God is going to do in 2008. The stories of life change that I will get to hear. The people I will get to meet. The books I will get to read. The messages I will get to hear. The prayers I will get to pray. The places I will get to go. The relationships I will get to develop. The conflicts I will get to work through. The decisions I will have to make.

This past Sunday was the first Sunday in 2008. Three people at NewPointe Community Church made the decision to commit their lives to Jesus Christ. They have a brand new hope, a new life. I am so excited for those three people and all the others that will discover new hope in 2008.

No matter where you are at in your walk with God, you can keep growing. I encourage you to take that next step in 2008. For some people it will be to make that first time commitment. For others it will be to recommit their lives to God. For some it will be to be baptized, or maybe get into a small group. For others it may be to start serving in an area of ministry or maybe take on a more challenging volunteer role. For some people it may mean going on a short term mission trip. For others it may mean restoring a relationship. For some it may be to start tithing. I don’t know what step God has for you, but I do know He has a step He is asking you to take. Be strong and courageous and walk boldly forward on your spiritual journey in 2008.

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The Refrigerator

This weekend my wife cleaned out the refrigerator. I don’t know about you but sometimes we leave stuff in there longer than we should. She found a dish that she knew had been in there a while. When we opened the container we were amazed at what we saw. Here is a picture for your enjoyment.

I have seen many kinds of mold, but not hair. I thought about putting some on my head, but quickly changed my mind.

As I thought about this amazing hairy growth, it made me think about how many of us don’t regularly take the time to clean out our personal “refrigerators”. Many of us have hurts, habits and hangups that get stuck away in a corner of our heart and we try to forget about it. Unfortunately, they don’t just stay there, they begin to grow and become pretty ugly if they are not thrown out or dealt with.

If we neglect the deep emotional and spiritual issues locked away in those corners of our hearts they can grow into something that stinks up the entire place. It can cause us to do things we normally would not do, and say things we normally would not say. These neglected “containers” can cause relational damage, emotional damage and keep you from growing in your relationship with Jesus Christ.

Are there things in your “refrigerator” that are causing you to be angry, unforgiving, sarcastic, greedy, jealous, depressed, anxious, or maybe full of pride?

So my question today is what stuff do you have growing in your heart that you don’t want in there? Do you need to start 2008 by cleaning our your refrigerator?